Timeline help with a family style salad sans cocktail hour

kRd1868

We're having the ceremony on the day before, so no need for a cocktail hour. Instead, we're kicking the night off with a family style salad. This will be our centerpiece and on the table when already when guests arrive. Our invite time is 5PM would it be safe to say people will be done with the salad and salad plates cleared by 5:40ish? Then we'll do the first dance, and introductions etc then open the buffet at 6ish…. Drunkie munchies (post meal hors d'oevres) out at 8 ish and cake at 9ish….

thanks!

ShesSoCold

Why are you not having the ceremony and reception on the same day?

kRd1868

We're having the ceremony at the rehearsal dinner with just immediate family.  in our circle, nobody is offended by the breach in etiquette --  no one cares about the ceremony except for the 20 people who are invited.  Everyone else just wants to party.  And I think the ceremony is to intimate to share with everyone, but FH wants everybody there for an epic party.

BlueBirdMB

kRd1868 said:

We're having the ceremony at the rehearsal dinner with just immediate family.  in our circle, nobody is offended by the breach in etiquette --  no one cares about the ceremony except for the 20 people who are invited.  Everyone else just wants to party.  And I think the ceremony is to intimate to share with everyone, but FH wants everybody there for an epic party.

The entire point of a wedding is to see people get married.  If you choose to have a party the next day, it's not a reception, it's a party to celebrate your marriage.  

I think your timeline for salad is fine.

lc07

kRd1868 said:

We're having the ceremony on the day before, so no need for a cocktail hour. Instead, we're kicking the night off with a family style salad. This will be our centerpiece and on the table when already when guests arrive. Our invite time is 5PM would it be safe to say people will be done with the salad and salad plates cleared by 5:40ish? Then we'll do the first dance, and introductions etc then open the buffet at 6ish…. Drunkie munchies (post meal hors d'oevres) out at 8 ish and cake at 9ish….

thanks!

I think 40 minutes is way too long for a salad course. 15 minutes should do it. 

Plus, cocktail hour is a great way to start an evening regardless of filling the time between the ceremony and reception. When I have people over to my house I don't ask them to sit down and start eating salad right when they walk in the door. I have cocktails and appetizers so guests can arrive and mingle with others before taking their seats without feeling rushed. 

ShesSoCold

kRd1868 said:

We're having the ceremony at the rehearsal dinner with just immediate family.  in our circle, nobody is offended by the breach in etiquette --  no one cares about the ceremony except for the 20 people who are invited.  Everyone else just wants to party.  And I think the ceremony is to intimate to share with everyone, but FH wants everybody there for an epic party.

I'm very intrigued about this ceremony that is "too intimate". But mostly because it sounds like a load of crap. Sorry. I think you'd be surprised at the amount of people who actually care about ceremonies. I was when I came here. I'm definitely in the "I prefer the reception" category, but I, personally, would side eye being invited to a "wedding" when the ceremony happened yesterday. 

Maggie0829

kRd1868 said:

We're having the ceremony at the rehearsal dinner with just immediate family.  in our circle, nobody is offended by the breach in etiquette --  no one cares about the ceremony except for the 20 people who are invited.  Everyone else just wants to party.  And I think the ceremony is to intimate to share with everyone, but FH wants everybody there for an epic party.

You know what they say when you assume something right?  

I also think the bolded is a load of crap.  Ceremonies are very special but unless you are planning on consummating your marriage right then and there I don't see how they can be so intimate that you don't want to share your love and unity with everyone that you feel the need to invite to this "epic party."

jacques27

I was going to respond to this earlier, but I was hoping OP would explain more first because I'm having a hard time wrapping my head around this.

1.  40 minutes to eat salad is ridiculous.  When have you ever taken 40 minutes to eat a starter portion of salad?
2.  I think starting people eating their dinner, essentially, only to interrupt it for your introductions and dances is a bit awkward.
3.  Unless you come from a group of ardent veggie eaters, I know only a third of my social circle would actually chow down on some salad unless that's some boss salad.  I come from a family of meat and potatoes only (save for myself and one cousin).  What are the non-salad eaters supposed to do for an hour?  Sit awkwardly while eating nothing?

I'm not opposed to the idea of an edible centerpiece, but I don't think salad is gonna get you there.  I would do one of the following:

1. Have an actual cocktail hour with apps of some sort - especially since your original plan is to interrupt what is essentially the start of dinner with all of the stuff that normally comes at the end of cocktail hour and the beginning of the reception.  You can still have the salad as your center piece, but then served family style as part of the dinner along with the buffet food - not as the only food available for the hour before the buffet.
or
2. Make your edible centerpieces more substantial with a variety of nibbles to reach a wider audience and put the salad on the buffet.  For example, have individual trays or tiered cake stands with some cheese and crackers, veggies, cubed meat, and fruit.  Or a large variety of breads in a basket with various spreads.

http://www.bizbash.com/edible-centerpieces-shiraz-nyc-offered-assorted-food-chef-tamara/gallery/33878#.VGpxiMkx2So
http://hellomoye.com/2009/03/12/edible-centerpieces/
https://www.toovia.com/lists/8-edible-centerpiece-ideas-for-your-guests-to-nibble-on
http://blog.goodsmiths.com/2014/04/28/tasty-edible-table-centerpieces/
http://seattletimes.com/html/homegarden/2003467238_ediblecenterpiece09.html
http://www.tablespoon.com/posts/how-to-make-chic-centerpieces-with-food/54a1fe3f-407a-488d-9ced-3b297a857023

aggiespartan

kRd1868 said:

We're having the ceremony at the rehearsal dinner with just immediate family.  in our circle, nobody is offended by the breach in etiquette --  no one cares about the ceremony except for the 20 people who are invited.  Everyone else just wants to party.  And I think the ceremony is to intimate to share with everyone, but FH wants everybody there for an epic party.

I have never known an epic party to start with a salad.  At any rate, I actually would not like a salad as a centerpiece then serving.  Personally I hate salad dressing, and I would assume the salad would already be dressed.  I would be bored for 45 minutes looking around waiting for the next thing. 

tammym1001

This whole thread just keeps making me think of this:

redoryx

kRd1868 said:

We're having the ceremony at the rehearsal dinner with just immediate family.  in our circle, nobody is offended by the breach in etiquette --  no one cares about the ceremony except for the 20 people who are invited.  Everyone else just wants to party.  And I think the ceremony is to intimate to share with everyone, but FH wants everybody there for an epic party.

A rehearsal dinner implies a rehearsal. What on earth do you need a rehearsal for in this case? So you're going to rehearse and then, like, 5 minutes later at the dinner actually get married? I'm so confused.