I still can't believe that I actually got married this weekend! After spending so much time planning and waiting, it's so incredible to me that the day finally came, and now it's over. But it was absolutely amazing. Sorry this'll be so damn long!
On Friday night, I wrapped up at work and went to run some errands. When I got home, I got all dressed up, and an Uber came and picked us up for our bachelor/ette party. It ended up being at a theater in a nearby suburb; our friends had rented out a tiny private theater for us! It was a pretty small party, but it was SO much fun. We all just talked and drank (and ate lots of candy and popcorn) and watched Clue. There were posters for people to write memories of us on, and it was really fun to read the comments. We have the posters hanging up in the kitchen for now.
The next morning, we got up early and went down to the venue for the rehearsal. We dropped everything off--centerpieces and favors and all the little extras. The rehearsal went pretty smoothly, but I kept getting the sense that my godmother, our officiant, didn't think we were being serious enough (spoilers: we were wrong; she just wanted to keep us focused). After that, we went to a nearby restaurant for lunch, and it was really delicious and relaxing. Everyone loved their little thank you gifts, and it was nice to just spend time with our families. My sister and I even recreated an old photo of the two of us that she'd posted on facebook, when we were making weird expression. After we got home, I got my nails done with a friend, and we spent the rest of the night eating dinner, drinking a bottle of wine, and trying to relax (J relax; I did a homework assignment that was due by Sunday night, whoops).
Sunday morning, I got up early and my maid of honor and I went to get our hair done. It took maybe an hour and a half for both of us, and my hair stylist was hilarious the whole time. By the time we got back, the make-up artist had arrived, and J hung out and brought us food for lunch while we had make-up done. J got dressed around 11:30, and after the make-up artist left, the three of us hung out and watched the Friends episode where Monica and Chandler get married before our car arrived.
Once we got to the venue, there was no time to even be nervous. Our photographer was already present, and J went to supervise getting the chuppah set up while my MOH and I went upstairs to get dressed. After we got dressed, my grandmother arrived and gave me the handkerchief she had at her wedding as my something old and something borrowed (she suggested I stuff it in my bra, which I was totally going to anyway). Then I met J outside for our first look. Even though he'd seen my hair and make-up done earlier that morning and he'd seen me in my dress multiple times and he'd seen me with all the jewelry before, he was still so excited and emotional. It was freezing, though, so we quickly took photos, and then took photos with my MOH, before heading back inside. Then we did family formals, which went so quickly and smoothly that we ended up signing our ketubah early because we had nothing else to do.
The ceremony was absolutely amazing. The look on J's face as I walked towards him, even though we'd just seen each other all damn day already (and I said, "See you up there" moments before he walked down the aisle) was priceless. My godmother made everyone laugh a ton during the ceremony, and J and I definitely were the perfect level of serious and silly. I definitely started crying for real during his vows; they were so beautiful. And I almost lost it when I was saying my vows because of the look on his face while I was saying them.
The most emotional moment, though, was definitely when my godmother asked us to look at each other, and just take a moment to soak in the moment, that we were getting married. I was not ugly crying at any point, but I was crying so much that my tears were running down my chest.
The best part was that my godmother, who always calls herself my fairy godmother, had picked up a magic wand that morning, and when she pronounced us, she made a huge show of using the magic wand. It was silly, but it was exactly right for us.
Once we got back to the bridal suite for yichud (10 minutes after the ceremony where the couple can relax, undisturbed), I broke down in (happy) tears, and J was like, "Oh my god, are you okay?!!!" We had drinks waiting for us, as well as appetizers, so we ate a bit and relaxed together.
The only rough part of the night was that my MOH and our photographer came in and said that my paternal grandparents wanted to see us. I was really upset and unsure of what to do, given that they had been so difficult up until this point, and had said that they weren't staying after the ceremony. My MOH said that she would figure out if they wanted to be in photos, or if it was just to say hi/congratulations, and then said she'd interrupt after a short bit with some kind of bride emergency so that we could have an ending time to the conversation. Unfortunately, my grandmother managed to get in a hurtful comment before the conversation was over, but then the conversation was over, and we could get back to photos. It only took about 20 minutes to get the huge family photos, and J and I hung out with my MOH until it was time for the reception.
The feeling of walking into the reception and having everyone cheering and clapping was SO amazing. Our first dance went reasonably well, and it was fun, and neither of us tripped or stepped on my dress. I managed not to cry much during the first couple of toasts, although my MOH's toast was so sweet that I almost did, but I finally cried when my mom gave her toast and mentioned my late grandfather.
Dinner was delicious, but we really barely had time to enjoy it. Like, we ate, for sure, but it was like, "Okay, eat eat eat eat now we have to visit tables as quickly as possible!" But we managed to get to all of the tables, and to open the dance floor, we gave a quick thank you speech. J's dance with his mother was absolutely hilarious and adorable (they did a very silly dance, and then they attempted an Irish hornpipe--poor J was not terribly good at it). And then we had the absolute BEST horah. EVERYONE joined in, and it was so much fun.
We just had the BEST time. I got to meet the rest of J's friends, and I got to see and dance with people I hadn't seen in a while. The entire time, everyone kept coming up to us and saying that they had an incredible time, that the food was delicious, that the ceremony was absolutely perfect. It was so wonderful.
Afterwards, when we arrived at the hotel, we learned that we'd been given an upgrade. To one of the executive suites. And there was complimentary champagne and strawberries. We couldn't believe it. Both of us could fit in the bathtub (and we did, bwahahaha). We spent the evening on the couch together, wearing fluffy bathrobes, watching Home Alone, drinking champagne, eating food from room service, and just basking in all the happiness.
Here's my advice for anyone still planning:
- Don't worry about dress regret. Wear something that makes you feel like a rockstar. Don't worry about whether or not your arms are too fat, or the fabric is too sparkly, or the style isn't terribly popular. I am so glad I wore the dress I wanted to wear, and when I look at the photos we've gotten from guests, I can't stop smiling.
- It's worth it to focus on making the event good for your guests. There are easy ways to do this: open bar, cocktail hour staying an hour or shorter, delicious food. But there are other ways, ways that weren't as easy and took some more effort and luck. For example, we spent several hours on the seating chart, and while I still think we could have done better (mostly, I should have put my MOH at a different table than I did, although she was fine), I think we did a bang-up job. There were several tables that we put together that ended up being a serious hit. And my family and friends will not shut up about how much they loved our photographer; they loved how quickly and easily she did the formal photos, and how friendly she was the whole time. I've known from experience how much less enjoyable weddings are when you're at a boring or unfriendly table, or when the photographer is brusque or unfriendly, so that was really awesome to hear from our guests.
- When you're getting stressed during planning, it might help to know that the happiness you're going to feel while you're getting married is going to, almost in drug-like fashion, mitigate any stress you might feel from anything going wrong. Things went wrong for us: our processional was so quick that we should have used one song (got a joking "I told you so" from J as soon as we got to the bridal suite, but oh my god he totally did tell me so, whoops); my grandparents got in a hurtful jab; we definitely messed up the ending of our first dance and J had trouble dancing the hornpipe; our DJs were not supposed to take any requests and they announced that they were taking requests (they also played a song that we meant to put on the do not play list); people thought they were only supposed to take the flowers from the centerpieces (so they left behind, like, 2 dozen IKEA vases); and I burned my tongue on an appetizer immediately after the ceremony. But by the time we got home yesterday, I honestly felt like the worst thing that happened was that I broke a nail in the hotel room.
PHOTOS!
1) J being walked down the aisle by his parents
2) My mom walking me down the aisle
3) During the ceremony
4) Being pronounced (with the magic wand)
5) Getting to kiss! (one of J's brothers is getting us ready to break the glass)