Kids at the wedding?

kat1114

jdluvr06 said:

AddieCake said:

Now I'm picturing a bunch of half-dressed kids running around peeing, pooping, and puking like some kind of Best Christmas Pageant Ever scenario.

Total side track, but I brought that book up at work last week, and no one had heard of it! I was saddened by their lack of awesomeness.

That makes me sad. That was one of my favorites when I was a kid.

In my co-worker's defense, most of them are 20-30 years older than me. But I was still surprised they didn't maybe read it with their kids.

drunkenwitch

kat1114 said:

AddieCake said:

Now I'm picturing a bunch of half-dressed kids running around peeing, pooping, and puking like some kind of Best Christmas Pageant Ever scenario.

Total side track, but I brought that book up at work last week, and no one had heard of it! I was saddened by their lack of awesomeness.

WHAT???!! Who raised them?  That is one of my favorite books of all time!

debbeau

As long as you and your fiancée agree whatever you decide is right for you got for it. We had a kid free wedding. Our friends with children appreciated a night out as adults. You have every right to feel how you feel about kids. I am a kindergarten teacher and love them but still had a child free wedding. It is your choice.

atlastmrsg

I had an essentially child-free wedding at an intimate venue.  FI's brother and sister brought their teenage children.  That was it. 

I also enjoy attending child-free weddings more.  They tend to be smaller events with more drinks and more of an adult atmosphere--passed appetizers and multi-course meals instead of buffet throw downs.  I think not feeding a bunch of kids frees up the hosts' budget for more things like top shelf open bars.

Stick to your guns.  If you don't want kids and FI is on board,  The kids who are "sad" they aren't coming will forget when they get their next Elsa toy or the babysitter brings pizza.

lavenderfields13

atlastmrsg said:

I had an essentially child-free wedding at an intimate venue.  FI's brother and sister brought their teenage children.  That was it. 

I also enjoy attending child-free weddings more.  They tend to be smaller events with more drinks and more of an adult atmosphere--passed appetizers and multi-course meals instead of buffet throw downs.  I think not feeding a bunch of kids frees up the hosts' budget for more things like top shelf open bars.

Stick to your guns.  If you don't want kids and FI is on board,  The kids who are "sad" they aren't coming will forget when they get their next Elsa toy or the babysitter brings pizza.

SITB

This is not necessarily true. We're inviting VERY few children and we're stilling having a "buffet throwdown" and a limited bar. Just because you're not inviting kids doesn't mean it's a super fancy soiree.

Couggal12

lavenderfields13 said:

atlastmrsg said:

I had an essentially child-free wedding at an intimate venue.  FI's brother and sister brought their teenage children.  That was it. 

I also enjoy attending child-free weddings more.  They tend to be smaller events with more drinks and more of an adult atmosphere--passed appetizers and multi-course meals instead of buffet throw downs.  I think not feeding a bunch of kids frees up the hosts' budget for more things like top shelf open bars.

Stick to your guns.  If you don't want kids and FI is on board,  The kids who are "sad" they aren't coming will forget when they get their next Elsa toy or the babysitter brings pizza.

SITB

This is not necessarily true. We're inviting VERY few children and we're stilling having a "buffet throwdown" and a limited bar. Just because you're not inviting kids doesn't mean it's a super fancy soiree.

I agree with the bolded. My wedding was basically child free and we had a buffet and beer/wine bar only. We just wanted a child free wedding. There wasn't anything else to it. We both like children too.

theartistformerlyknownas

lavenderfields13 said:

atlastmrsg said:

I had an essentially child-free wedding at an intimate venue.  FI's brother and sister brought their teenage children.  That was it. 

I also enjoy attending child-free weddings more.  They tend to be smaller events with more drinks and more of an adult atmosphere--passed appetizers and multi-course meals instead of buffet throw downs.  I think not feeding a bunch of kids frees up the hosts' budget for more things like top shelf open bars.

Stick to your guns.  If you don't want kids and FI is on board,  The kids who are "sad" they aren't coming will forget when they get their next Elsa toy or the babysitter brings pizza.

SITB

This is not necessarily true. We're inviting VERY few children and we're stilling having a "buffet throwdown" and a limited bar. Just because you're not inviting kids doesn't mean it's a super fancy soiree.

Yeah nope. We had 220 people including 18 kids, passed apps, plated meals, premium bar and live entertainment. And one of the best parts of the evening was my 3yo nephew going up to total strangers in his teeny vest and bow tie and asking them to dance with him. Followed closely by his 1.5 yo sister shaking her lil diapered bootie in her tights and no shoes, and being spun by my 9yo BIL (who also told all the ladies in attendance "I'm not only an usher, I'm also a bachelor.").

penguin44

lolo883 said:

lavenderfields13 said:

atlastmrsg said:

I had an essentially child-free wedding at an intimate venue.  FI's brother and sister brought their teenage children.  That was it. 

I also enjoy attending child-free weddings more.  They tend to be smaller events with more drinks and more of an adult atmosphere--passed appetizers and multi-course meals instead of buffet throw downs.  I think not feeding a bunch of kids frees up the hosts' budget for more things like top shelf open bars.

Stick to your guns.  If you don't want kids and FI is on board,  The kids who are "sad" they aren't coming will forget when they get their next Elsa toy or the babysitter brings pizza.

SITB

This is not necessarily true. We're inviting VERY few children and we're stilling having a "buffet throwdown" and a limited bar. Just because you're not inviting kids doesn't mean it's a super fancy soiree.

Yeah nope. We had 220 people including 18 kids, passed apps, plated meals, premium bar and live entertainment. And one of the best parts of the evening was my 3yo nephew going up to total strangers in his teeny vest and bow tie and asking them to dance with him. Followed closely by his 1.5 yo sister shaking her lil diapered bootie in her tights and no shoes, and being spun by my 9yo BIL (who also told all the ladies in attendance "I'm not only an usher, I'm also a bachelor.").

Haha. Love it!

phira

I wanted no kids at the wedding because I've got some small cousins who have a tendency to misbehave. My husband wanted kids at the wedding because he wanted his godson there; there was no way to include his godson and exclude my cousins without being obviously rude, so we had kids. We didn't do anything in particular to make the event more kid-friendly (no games or kiddie activities or anything like that).

It ended up being fine. Like, totally fine.

What I suggest to you is that you sit down with your fiancé and get on the same page. Is there an age cut-off where you can invite his nephews but not every child who could potentially be on the guest list? If you limit "kids" to "nieces and nephews," will that work?

If you think your cousins will be extremely upset if you invite kids from your fiancé's side and not your side, you might want to consider just inviting kids. My story above is not meant to tell you UGH QUIT WHINING--it's meant to tell you that your wedding will probably be unaffected by the presence of children, to reassure you that you can still have a great wedding day even if you can't find a way to compromise.

PrettyGirlLost

CMGragain said:

Re-read your post, sweetie.  You said terrible things about your feelings about children.  If you repeat any of what I bolded in my post, you will insult a lot of people with your prejudice and intolerance of youngsters.  I was offended.
It is one thing to want an adults only wedding.  It is quite another to say "I do not like small children."

Here's where the Mommy Wars piss me off.

Some people don't like kids- fact.

They should be free to state that fact and any other related opinions without being judged and called names by everyone else.

novella1186

PrettyGirlLost said:

Re-read your post, sweetie.  You said terrible things about your feelings about children.  If you repeat any of what I bolded in my post, you will insult a lot of people with your prejudice and intolerance of youngsters.  I was offended.
It is one thing to want an adults only wedding.  It is quite another to say "I do not like small children."

Here's where the Mommy Wars piss me off. Some people don't like kids- fact. They should be free to state that fact and any other related opinions without being judged and called names by everyone else.

QFT. Just cuz you don't like other people's kids doesn't mean you can't ever be a good parent, and it most certainly doesn't mean that you deserve to be insulted. 

pinkcow13

OP, we are also having a child free wedding. I also share your sentiments about kids. Yet, I still want my own. I don't think just because you don't like other people's bad behaved kids (obviously I am not talking about every single kid out there), it means you are a bad person who should not have kids.

As long as you and your FI agree, there is nothing wrong with a child free wedding. FI has a lot of little cousins, and the only children we are inviting are the flower girl and ring bearer. All his other little cousins actually surprisingly understand that they are not invited.

climbingsingle

My mom has told me many times that she couldn't stand kids when she was in her 20s. She didn't want to hang around with her friend's kids, she hated being seated next to them in restaurants. She had me at 30 and my brother at 32. And guess what? She was seriously the best mom. She was nurturing and loving and she's my best friend. 

VulgarGirl

ClimbingBrideNY said:

My mom has told me many times that she couldn't stand kids when she was in her 20s. She didn't want to hang around with her friend's kids, she hated being seated next to them in restaurants. She had me at 30 and my brother at 32. And guess what? She was seriously the best mom. She was nurturing and loving and she's my best friend. 

My mom does not like other people's kids. She was an awesome mom to me, she adores SIL, and she can't wait to be a grandma. But we're the exceptions, she likes us because we're "her's" in a way. She does not rush to hold babies or coo over toddlers showing her scribbles on a piece of paper.

Also Wifey and I had a mostly child-free wedding. SIL was the only kid under 12 there. We still can't wait to have a kid of our own and will be perfectly fine mothers.

PrettyGirlLost

Also, while everyone is entitled to their opinions, everyone is also entitled to just keep their mouths shut as well.

Jen4948

I love all the kids in my family, and I'd still prefer a child-free wedding.

The other day, my parents and I went to a religious service at our synagogue. There was a baby or toddler there who literally stopped the show. A speaker stopped in the middle of a speech because the child was so loud that the speaker simply could not be heard, even with a microphone, until its parents removed her from the sanctuary and took her some distance away. The room's acoustics made ignoring the child impossible, because they amplified the crying and made it echo. Everyone noticed it cry.

It was nobody's fault that this happened, but I wouldn't want it to happen during my wedding.

AprilH81

Playing devil's advocate here...

If the kids are "old enough to notice" they aren't invited, how old are they?  Are they old enough to behave or are they generally brats in normal situations?

30+ kids are a lot, and you are well within your rights to do kid free (or nephews only) but it is something to think about.

sophhabobopha

PrettyGirlLost said:

Re-read your post, sweetie.  You said terrible things about your feelings about children.  If you repeat any of what I bolded in my post, you will insult a lot of people with your prejudice and intolerance of youngsters.  I was offended.
It is one thing to want an adults only wedding.  It is quite another to say "I do not like small children."

Here's where the Mommy Wars piss me off. Some people don't like kids- fact. They should be free to state that fact and any other related opinions without being judged and called names by everyone else.

QFT.

drunkenwitch

PrettyGirlLost said:

Re-read your post, sweetie.  You said terrible things about your feelings about children.  If you repeat any of what I bolded in my post, you will insult a lot of people with your prejudice and intolerance of youngsters.  I was offended.
It is one thing to want an adults only wedding.  It is quite another to say "I do not like small children."

Here's where the Mommy Wars piss me off. Some people don't like kids- fact. They should be free to state that fact and any other related opinions without being judged and called names by everyone else.