I live in Brooklyn, but am from Southern NJ. I personally have friends and family mostly in the Southern NJ region, though some are scattered across the country. My FI's family is in TN, and most of his friends live in NYC, near us. Basically, we are covering the east coast. We are currently looking at venues in Eastern PA (Philly area) and all of NJ, within about a 1.5-2hr drive from most of the people we plan to invite. We were planning on booking a hotel block for our guests to make accommodations as reasonable as possible.
My mother thinks it is "RUDE" to have a wedding that is not close to our family and friends in Southern NJ. Is she right? Although my side of the family lives there, not everyone does...and as much as I adore my quaint hometown, I loathe the idea of a wedding there...are OOT weddings truly rude? Aren't weddings almost always OOT for someone attending?
I understand having an OOT wedding may make it hard/impossible for some people to attend. I get that and would never be offended if they declined.
Full disclosure: My parents have said they are contributing money to pay for the meals of our family members, so perhaps that influences where the wedding is located.