I just didn't get it

csuave

I have been to a few BPs.  Usually a few people give gifts, some people buy the bride a drink at the bar and others just show up to have a good time.  If there are gifts "gag" gifts are usually in the mix, like the "I'm tying the knot so buy me a shot" button to wear, flavored condoms, etc.

In my circle we have developed a tradition of giving a well endowed chocolate penis to the bride.  The first time it showed up it was given by a friend that regularly makes chocolate.  No one was expecting the pretty package to have a chocolate "package" inside!  We laughed so much and then even more when we found out it came from my friend's grandpa.  He closed his shop and gave her all the molds he had for chocolate making in a big bag....my friend was very surprised to find this one in there but decided it was too good not to use.

After all, edible is way to go, right?  

amelisha

csuave said:

I have been to a few BPs.  Usually a few people give gifts, some people buy the bride a drink at the bar and others just show up to have a good time.  If there are gifts "gag" gifts are usually in the mix, like the "I'm tying the knot so buy me a shot" button to wear, flavored condoms, etc.

In my circle we have developed a tradition of giving a well endowed chocolate penis to the bride.  The first time it showed up it was given by a friend that regularly makes chocolate.  No one was expecting the pretty package to have a chocolate "package" inside!  We laughed so much and then even more when we found out it came from my friend's grandpa.  He closed his shop and gave her all the molds he had for chocolate making in a big bag....my friend was very surprised to find this one in there but decided it was too good not to use.

After all, edible is way to go, right?  

Okay, so I hate that cheesy penis-themed crap, but I make an exception for this. Amazing.

theartistformerlyknownas

JennyColada said:

Lingerie would be a shitty gift for me. It would just be a waste. Even a VS gift card would probably go to waste as I rarely buy new bras, and I CERTAINLY don't need any of the "sexy" non-functional stuff. Or only been to one BP and we just went to a male revue. I actually had to specifically tell the dancer to please not touch me. The whole situation felt kind of disrespectful (these sweaty STRANGERS just came up and would be touching my arms. I don't care if you work there, please do not grab at me). Or I'm just a sour sport. I didn't have a BP because our only wedding guests were our parents and NO to that.

I bought a really nice sports bra and some perfume with my gift cards.

BrandNewJ

I went to Bach party for my friend from out of state, so her bridal shower was the same day. I'm a baker for funsies, so I told the MOH I'd make a chocolate penis cake. She loved it the idea, so I ran with it. I spelled her name in white frosting coming (haha) out of the tip. 

I walked up to a mansion filled with well dressed women drinking wine from a butler passed tray holding a huge penis cake. 

So yeah, I definitely feel you on being embarrassed at a party! 

charcoalandblush

Before last year, I had only been to one bachelorette party before and there were no gifts. So when I went to DF's best friend's DF (at the time)'s bach, it didn't even occur to me to buy a gift.

I came home and mentioned it to DF, he says "Oh it's not a thing, Friend's bachelorette must have been weird." So a couple of months later I go to another bachelorette with no gift in hand. Lo and behold, everyone else brought a gift.

I got FSIL a restaurant gift card. Sorry, I'm not buying my FSIL lingerie. It's weird.

CSunshine76

In one of my friend circles, they do lingerie showers at the bachelorette and totally put the bra and lingerie size on the invites. Ugh. Not my thing, but I've always just been a guest, not a hostess. I refuse to buy lingerie for friends, so I just buy some comfy PJs instead. It's always so weird seeing an invite with "bra size 34D" or whatever printed on it!

levioosa

Bahaha, that's excellent.  

Of the bachelorette parties I've been to, about half have had lingerie as a gift giving element and the bra and underwear size was included on the invitations.  The other half have just been casual affairs.  I think it can be kind of fun, but I totally understand why people wouldn't like it.  I also don't think a bachelorette party should "require" it, but it can be a fun extra.  I know which friends would find it fun and which ones would find it embarrassing.  I would never try to force or join in on a lingerie bach party if I knew my friend would find it awkward and mortifying.  

KatieinBkln

I feel like some bachelorette parties are lingerie parties, but not all. Not making it clear that this one was was kind of a dick move in my opinion.

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Viczaesar

I'm firmly in the camp that bachelorette parties are not gift-giving occasions.  Having said that, I once gave a bride at her bachelorette party a bra made out of candy (mainly because I just happened to have one, believe it or not, and I thought it would be the perfect use for said bra).

ETA: That's also the closest I'm ever going to get to giving someone lingerie. 

redwoodoriginal

I don't think bachelorette parties are gift-giving events, however, most BPs i have been to, the host has made it known that there would be a lingerie drinking game or a "panty party", and sent us the sizes of the bride, so we knew what size to get her. but, i've always had a host specify that there was or wasn't going to be this lingerie party time. For my BP my friends gave me an array of stuff from coconut bras to granny panties to legit "fancy" undies to a tank top "Mrs. NewLastName". 

I have never expected to get or give a gift at a BP though, unless the host specified for the lingerie. I would say that fail was not on you, novella, but on the host that didn't tell you there was going to be a lingerie giving time.

novella1186

redwoodoriginal said:

I don't think bachelorette parties are gift-giving events, however, most BPs i have been to, the host has made it known that there would be a lingerie drinking game or a "panty party", and sent us the sizes of the bride, so we knew what size to get her. but, i've always had a host specify that there was or wasn't going to be this lingerie party time. For my BP my friends gave me an array of stuff from coconut bras to granny panties to legit "fancy" undies to a tank top "Mrs. NewLastName". 

I have never expected to get or give a gift at a BP though, unless the host specified for the lingerie. I would say that fail was not on you, novella, but on the host that didn't tell you there was going to be a lingerie giving time.

SIB

I'm wondering more and more why the MOH/host didn't tell me about it. She's kind of one of those people who would do that type of crap on purpose just to try to make someone look bad for fun. That's why she and the bride aren't friends anymore. But realistically I bet she just assumed it was the standard and that I'd know about it. Oh well.  

lovesclimbing

Hmm, the four bachelorette parties I've been to were all lingerie-gift giving. At mine, I got lingerie and a Cd of 'in the mood' tunes. I always thought that's what B-parties were, kid of along the lines of showers.

LadyMillil

I've only been to my own bachelorette party. My friends each brought a pair of panties for me and ordered a shot. I had to guess who each pair was from and if I was wrong I did the shot, if I was right they did the shot. It was kind of awkward but fun.

carliealissa

Maybe this is a regional thing, or something else?  I wouldn't have realized that bachelorette gifts sometimes aren't expected- I've never been to one that didn't include nice gifts.  Usually but not always lingerie related.  I was given an extremely low key "bachelorette party" (basically some mostly pregnant women got together to go out to dinner) and everyone brought gifts.  Interesting!