No Wedding Party

Knottie03782169

This will be my fiancé's second marriage and my first.  We want a small, intimate wedding at a church and then a reception of about 150 people in my backyard.  Frankly, I don't want a wedding party because, although I have many friends, I haven't known many of them long enough and at an intimate enough level to ask them to be in my wedding.  I was one of those girls who was very independent.  Because I am not having a wedding party and my reception will be outside in my yard I am not sure that I want a DJ- plus, looking at my guest list I don't think I have many on the list that would bust-a-move.  We will have a bonfire at the reception when the sun goes down (hopefully the weather cooperates), but what other things can you do at a reception with no DJ besides bags, ladder game, etc?

artbyallie

Knottie03782169 said:

This will be my fiancé's second marriage and my first.  We want a small, intimate wedding at a church and then a reception of about 150 people in my backyard.  Frankly, I don't want a wedding party because, although I have many friends, I haven't known many of them long enough and at an intimate enough level to ask them to be in my wedding.  I was one of those girls who was very independent.  Because I am not having a wedding party and my reception will be outside in my yard I am not sure that I want a DJ- plus, looking at my guest list I don't think I have many on the list that would bust-a-move.  We will have a bonfire at the reception when the sun goes down (hopefully the weather cooperates), but what other things can you do at a reception with no DJ besides bags, ladder game, etc?

A couple things.

1. You are not required to have attendants. You didn't mention whether your fiancé wants any or not though, and he gets to decide that himself. If he wants some and you don't have any, that is also fine.

2. The only way it is not rude to do as you are planning is for the ceremony to be immediate family only (parents, siblings, grandparents) and a VERY small number of people. You can't invite 50 to the ceremony and 100 more to the reception. That would be a tiered wedding and super rude.

3. You need to have sufficient bathrooms for 150 at your backyard wedding. I'm sure your house plumbing can't handle that kind of traffic, so that means renting facilities. There are some very nice trailer restrooms that can be rented so people actually get a full toilet and sink set-up rather than a port-a-potty.

4. You don't need games. Provide food, drinks, and a chair for every butt and people will chat and mingle and entertain themselves.

5. You do, however, need a back-up plan for inclement weather. What if it rains? What if it's too cold or too hot? There has to be an indoor space that will comfortably hold all your guests available for such a situation just in case.

climbingsingle

It's totally fine to not have a wedding party. Is your FI on board with that too? 

You don't need to have games. People will eat, drink and mingle. Even if you don't have dancing though, I'd make sure to have some background music. You can set that on on a ipod. 

And ditto PP - just make sure you have enough chairs, and a backup plan for inclement weather. And seats for everyone. 

PrettyGirlLost

artbyallie said:

Knottie03782169 said:

This will be my fiancé's second marriage and my first.  We want a small, intimate wedding at a church and then a reception of about 150 people in my backyard.  Frankly, I don't want a wedding party because, although I have many friends, I haven't known many of them long enough and at an intimate enough level to ask them to be in my wedding.  I was one of those girls who was very independent.  Because I am not having a wedding party and my reception will be outside in my yard I am not sure that I want a DJ- plus, looking at my guest list I don't think I have many on the list that would bust-a-move.  We will have a bonfire at the reception when the sun goes down (hopefully the weather cooperates), but what other things can you do at a reception with no DJ besides bags, ladder game, etc?

A couple things.

1. You are not required to have attendants. You didn't mention whether your fiancé wants any or not though, and he gets to decide that himself. If he wants some and you don't have any, that is also fine.

2. The only way it is not rude to do as you are planning is for the ceremony to be immediate family only (parents, siblings, grandparents) and a VERY small number of people. You can't invite 50 to the ceremony and 100 more to the reception. That would be a tiered wedding and super rude.

3. You need to have sufficient bathrooms for 150 at your backyard wedding. I'm sure your house plumbing can't handle that kind of traffic, so that means renting facilities. There are some very nice trailer restrooms that can be rented so people actually get a full toilet and sink set-up rather than a port-a-potty.

4. You don't need games. Provide food, drinks, and a chair for every butt and people will chat and mingle and entertain themselves.

5. You do, however, need a back-up plan for inclement weather. What if it rains? What if it's too cold or too hot? There has to be an indoor space that will comfortably hold all your guests available for such a situation just in case.

This.

I just don't understand inviting only a few people to the ceremony and then a whole butt load of people to the reception. . . which is a party intended to thank your guests for witnesing and supporting your marriage.

esstee33

Why are you splitting the ceremony and reception guests like this? The reception is a party you throw to thank guests for witnessing your ceremony. It doesn't really make sense to invite people to it who didn't actually witness your ceremony at all.