Making a Life Altering Decision

lovemesomemonster

I realized this weekend that I do a lot around here when it comes to house work, remodeling etc. BUT I work from home and needless to say, the face lift that's happening on the house is not happening on my person. I have decided that starting today I am going to get full on ready at lest a couple days a week! Yes, I shower daily but I realized after this weekend, I only do my hair done and makeup if we are going out to see other people, but why am I not doing that for my sweetie? Doesn't he qualify as someone special I want to look nice for? So, starting today I'm going to be looking ready for the day when he gets home! It has been over a year and it's time to stop the crazy poof hair and sweats daily.

Anyone else work from home? Do you get ready daily? If so, how do you keep yourself motivated to make the effort when your dog is the only one that sees you all day?

anrforanr

I semi-work from home, but also live by myself 8 hours away from FI. If I still work from home when we get married, I probably will at least put jeans instead of sweatpants on everyday haha!

jenna8984

I wouldn't call that "life altering" but if you say so.

I don't even work from home, and I wear my hair down maaaaybe once a week. No makeup ever. The second I walk in, I put pj's on. So technically I look "day ready" but DH only sees me in pj's and crappy hair. I couldn't care less and neither could he. If it's going to make you feel better then sure do it up but I don't think there's anything wrong with what you're currently doing. But that's H & I- were aren't "impress people with our looks" type of people.

Maggie0829

I don't work from home but I do come home from work every day and immediately put my hair up in a pony tail and get into sweats/pjs/my fluffy robe. Sorry not sorry H but I have been in work clothes all day and I want to be comfortable. Me not being dressed to the nines doesn't have any effect on the fact that my H still wants to jump me every day.

I think that if you are doing this for yourself to make yourself feel better then go for it.

JennyColada

DH works from home sometimes, and he definitely doesn't make an effort to do himself up for my benefit. But, he's not really someone to do himself up even when we go out.

I'm also guilty of spending the day in PJs if I don't have to go out, but usually even if I'm off I'll find some excuse to go out (like getting coffee with a friend or just roaming the mall by myself).

lovemesomemonster

jenna8984 said:

I wouldn't call that "life altering" but if you say so.

I don't even work from home, and I wear my hair down maaaaybe once a week. No makeup ever. The second I walk in, I put pj's on. So technically I look "day ready" but DH only sees me in pj's and crappy hair. I couldn't care less and neither could he. If it's going to make you feel better then sure do it up but I don't think there's anything wrong with what you're currently doing. But that's H & I- were aren't "impress people with our looks" type of people.

It was more of a joke and looking for advice from people that work at home and how do you motivate yourself to keep some sort of "getting ready" routine.

FI could care less what I wear and what my hair looks like, not trying to "impress him with my looks" just deciding to be a little less lazy with it. I think it's nice to make an effort for each other every once in a while and working from home, never getting out of the sweats starts to feel blah.. Don't think there is anything wrong with what I'm currently doing, but thank you for confirming that!

lovemesomemonster

Yes.. totally doing this for myself FIRST, just thought using him as a motivator would help? I used to work in an office until a little over a year ago, so the feeling of peeling out of work clothes into sweats was a MUST at the end of a long day.. not the same when you have been in them all day and it's SO HARD to get ready at all when you are just walking upstairs to your home office! I'm just starting to feel like a blob!

doeydo

I am totally a pajamas person.  No, I don't leave the house in them unless I am just going to be wearing snow pants and a coat (the one bonus of winter, no one knows what I'm wearing underneath). If I am not leaving the house then you betcha I'm in pjs and if I come home and won't be leaving again then on off go the clothes and on come the pjs.  Also, I don't "do" my hair and makeup unless there is a special occasion or I really feel like it for some reason.  But yeah, if I am with someone/living with someone then I hope they think I am the bee's knees no matter what I look like.

luckya23

I work from home, and no, I don't get dressed at all most days.  FI also works nights, so I'm actually in bed when he gets home from work!

I agree that I should put more effort in though, so good luck to you!

WinstonsGirl

I don't work from home, but I teach PE and I live in Lulu's/leggings and sweats.  DH doesn't seem to mind.  Jeans are just uncomfortable for me now.  I agree that he loves you no matter what.  Do it for you

morewineplease

I work from home a few days a week. If i workout in the morning before starting my at home day I will shower in the morning. Other times, maybe at lunch. No matter what is going on during the day both FI and I walk in the door and put on "comfy pants". Most of mine are yoga pants though so he might like that

lovemesomemonster

luckya23 said:

I work from home, and no, I don't get dressed at all most days.  FI also works nights, so I'm actually in bed when he gets home from work!

I agree that I should put more effort in though, so good luck to you!

Thanks! Just thought it would make me feel more productive? I straightened my hair today and it turns out when it's not my usual ball of curl/frizz it's down to my waist.. that's crazy...

RebeccaFlower

I also live in lululemon leggings. Wonderfully comfortable and H loves how the look. Win for everyone.

Vivandiere8

I don't work from home, but my hours are technically part time and depending on my scheduled I can have multiple days off during the week (I'm a ballroom dance instructor and if students are out of town I'm not working). But I do like to dress nice, have hair done, and make up on for my husband. It's not a judgement on anyone who doesn't. It's just something I like to do.  what works for me though is just haveing a fairly simply routine for those days that doesn't take much time or trouble. I just rub on a light bb cream for skin balance, and then do something like a light simple shadow in cream and brown, and a gloss on my lips. I think the way not to make it feel like such a pain is just to have something short and basic to go to when you are around the house. So don't worry about mascara, liner, contouring etc. but just a few touches might do the trick for you.

lovemesomemonster

@Vivandiere8 I agree with a quick routine, even when I worked in an office it took me 40min tops to get ready including the shower. So it's not necessarily the time involved, it's getting out of the mind set that I can sleep for just "10 more minutes" becauase I can walk upstairs and be online in 2 minutes! Very cool that you are a ballroom dance instructor! I have always wanted to learn!

Sammyantha13

I don't work right now...I'm working on my masters, from home.  And a few months ago, I had the same revelation as you.  I realized that I was in sweats everyday when H got home from work, and I wanted to start putting in more effort to look nice.  If I was working outside our house right now and had to get dressed up everyday as these other ladies are, then you bet your ass I would be throwing on sweatpants as soon as I got home.  But since I don't work, I feel the same way you do.

So most days I will force myself to go out for something, even if it's just to run an errand or get coffee with a friend, so I have more motivation to look nice.  And H has definitely noticed.  He compliments me more now than he used to, about how nice I look, how he likes certain outfits, or likes my eyeshadow that day or whatever.  It improves my self-esteem too.  I'm having fun experimenting with new makeup and new hairstyles.  Of course H still loves me in my sweatpants and all that, but guys do appreciate their spouses taking care of themselves and putting in effort.  I recently read "For Women Only" by Shaunti Feldhahn, and there was a whole section in there about how much men value us taking care of ourselves and our appearance.  So it does make a difference!  Good luck, have fun, and most importantly, do it for yourself and reap the benefits!

lurkergirl

Sammyantha13 said:

I don't work right now...I'm working on my masters, from home.  And a few months ago, I had the same revelation as you.  I realized that I was in sweats everyday when H got home from work, and I wanted to start putting in more effort to look nice.  If I was working outside our house right now and had to get dressed up everyday as these other ladies are, then you bet your ass I would be throwing on sweatpants as soon as I got home.  But since I don't work, I feel the same way you do.

So most days I will force myself to go out for something, even if it's just to run an errand or get coffee with a friend, so I have more motivation to look nice.  And H has definitely noticed.  He compliments me more now than he used to, about how nice I look, how he likes certain outfits, or likes my eyeshadow that day or whatever.  It improves my self-esteem too.  I'm having fun experimenting with new makeup and new hairstyles.  Of course H still loves me in my sweatpants and all that, but guys do appreciate their spouses taking care of themselves and putting in effort.  I recently read "For Women Only" by Shaunti Feldhahn, and there was a whole section in there about how much men value us taking care of ourselves and our appearance.  So it does make a difference!  Good luck, have fun, and most importantly, do it for yourself and reap the benefits!

jacques27

Well, I wouldn't do this for anyone else but yourself.  If someone else benefits from it, that's great, but generally when people make changes for others those changes don't stick long term.

That said, I've read a few articles from business-related sites and studies that recommend people who telecommute or otherwise work from home develop a routine and dress like they are going out (preferably as they would for the office, but at least business casual if you would normally wear suits or "outside clothes" at the minimum).  When you have a routine and look the part of a professional (for your field), you will likely be more productive and be inclined to think of your home office as a workplace.  Likewise, other people will also be more inclined to remember that you are actually working and not available at their whim, particularly if it's a telecommute situation where you still keep semi-regular hours, just at home (e.g. a family member or a friend who wants you to go out shopping in the middle of the day when you should be working).

KytchynWitche

I've had two work-from-home gigs so far, one in admin for a short-course academy, and one in social media management, neither of which involved significant face-time with clients. I suppose technically I work from home now, but as a writer so also no meetings etc. 

I never get "day ready" unless I'm seeing people (in this case, usually MIL). I know and understand the concept of "look good, feel better", but I can honestly say that it does not work for me. I'm just happier with messy hair and no make-up. I feel like I'm trying to be someone/thing I'm not when I wear make-up and "do" my hair on a regular day, but I also know that I'm not the norm.

I'm sure DH would like it if I "fancied myself up" a little more often, but I wouldn't feel right and sooner or later that would start to impact our relationship.

My point is just this: you shouldn't be "making improvements" (for lack of better wording) for anyone but yourself. If your sweetie benefits from your decisions, so much the better, but you should really be doing this (or not) for you, not them.

jennyleigh16

I work in maintenance. The extent of me being "work ready" is jeans, a company shirt, hair in a ponytail and steel toe boots. I don't put on makeup or dress up unless I'm going out to dinner or some other event. I've never understood women who can't run to the grocery store without a full face of makeup and hair perfectly done. Nobody cares that much about if a stranger has bags under their eyes or flat hair. My FI loves me with or without makeup and I've even had several comments from others about how refreshing it is to see a woman who doesn't feel the need to be dolled up all the time.

redheadbride15

My FI's comments on how amazing I look seem to be completely independent of how much effort I've put into that look. For example, he often compliments me when I'm unshowered, with no make-up, wearing jeans & a t-shirt, or even pajamas. On the other hand, a carefully-selected outfit, hairstyle, or a bit of make-up will often go completely unnoticed.

My point is that I think a lot of guys are less shallow than we fear they are, and maybe we put too much pressure on ourselves to "look good for him", when in truth, his admiration for you is far deeper than your outward appearance. (That thing about "men valuing us for taking care of ourselves and our appearance" is BS and if it's not then it should be! There are some basics of health and personal hygiene that I hope everyone would value in another regardless of their gender, but I wouldn't want to be with a man who had special expectations for his woman beyond that).

doeydo

redheadbride15 said:

My FI's comments on how amazing I look seem to be completely independent of how much effort I've put into that look. For example, he often compliments me when I'm unshowered, with no make-up, wearing jeans & a t-shirt, or even pajamas. On the other hand, a carefully-selected outfit, hairstyle, or a bit of make-up will often go completely unnoticed.

My point is that I think a lot of guys are less shallow than we fear they are, and maybe we put too much pressure on ourselves to "look good for him", when in truth, his admiration for you is far deeper than your outward appearance. (That thing about "men valuing us for taking care of ourselves and our appearance" is BS and if it's not then it should be! There are some basics of health and personal hygiene that I hope everyone would value in another regardless of their gender, but I wouldn't want to be with a man who had special expectations for his woman beyond that).

Yeah, personally I hate the double standard some people have that women should wear makeup and have their hair styled some sort of way but dudes can go around just out of the shower and running a comb through their hair and they are approved/as good as it gets.  Fuck that, I am not putting shit on my face or spending time and money fiddling with my hair just so I can go outside and get it all blown around anyways.

ashley8918

Yeah, I have no interest in getting all gussied up "for my sweetie". He likes the way I look, and i don't need to put on a bunch of makeup or fancy clothes to impress him.

kns1988

Working from home today in my yoga pants and a sweatshirt. I had a moment of panic when I was having connectivity issues and thought I was going to have to go to the office...

I should probably start being semi-presentable on work from home days in case I have to go in, but that's almost definitely not going to happen. 

larrygaga

FI and I end up in our PJs most of the time, and I almost never get ready for the day just because. It's usually because I have to see people. Once in awhile (like yesterday) I'll curl my hair, put on my lipstick and a thong and prance around the house. Making FI think I'm a hot girl with my hot girl disguise is good for my self esteem. Although he doesn't really act much different towards me if I am gussied up or not. I supposed he just sees the thong and lipstick as a greenlight to head for the bedroom. 

lovemesomemonster

@larrygaga love your comment, cracks me up, thanks for the giggle  

I'm starting to think I should have worded this differently.. when I say "put on makeup" the extent of makeup for me is a swipe of mascara and by "do my hair" I mean pull it into a braid, put it in a bun, maybe some hairspray, something other than get out of shower, let air dry, look like Medusa (yeah, it's that bad). I think a lot of people thought I meant full blown prom situation. Put on that swipe of mascara this morning and pulled a flat iron through my hair (total getting ready time 10min) put on jeans and I do feel more awake getting to my desk!

@jacques27 thank you for the comment on the article you read about working from home, I have read something similar which is what got me thinking about all of this, just thought my man could benefit as well from me not looking like Medusa every night when he gets home! 

VulgarGirl

Sammyantha13 said:

I don't work right now...I'm working on my masters, from home.  And a few months ago, I had the same revelation as you.  I realized that I was in sweats everyday when H got home from work, and I wanted to start putting in more effort to look nice.  If I was working outside our house right now and had to get dressed up everyday as these other ladies are, then you bet your ass I would be throwing on sweatpants as soon as I got home.  But since I don't work, I feel the same way you do.

So most days I will force myself to go out for something, even if it's just to run an errand or get coffee with a friend, so I have more motivation to look nice.  And H has definitely noticed.  He compliments me more now than he used to, about how nice I look, how he likes certain outfits, or likes my eyeshadow that day or whatever.  It improves my self-esteem too.  I'm having fun experimenting with new makeup and new hairstyles.  Of course H still loves me in my sweatpants and all that, but guys do appreciate their spouses taking care of themselves and putting in effort.  I recently read "For Women Only" by Shaunti Feldhahn, and there was a whole section in there about how much men value us taking care of ourselves and our appearance.  So it does make a difference!  Good luck, have fun, and most importantly, do it for yourself and reap the benefits!

So glad I'm a lesbian. So so glad. Yay lesbianism!

ashley8918

MagicInk said:

Sammyantha13 said:

I don't work right now...I'm working on my masters, from home.  And a few months ago, I had the same revelation as you.  I realized that I was in sweats everyday when H got home from work, and I wanted to start putting in more effort to look nice.  If I was working outside our house right now and had to get dressed up everyday as these other ladies are, then you bet your ass I would be throwing on sweatpants as soon as I got home.  But since I don't work, I feel the same way you do.

So most days I will force myself to go out for something, even if it's just to run an errand or get coffee with a friend, so I have more motivation to look nice.  And H has definitely noticed.  He compliments me more now than he used to, about how nice I look, how he likes certain outfits, or likes my eyeshadow that day or whatever.  It improves my self-esteem too.  I'm having fun experimenting with new makeup and new hairstyles.  Of course H still loves me in my sweatpants and all that, but guys do appreciate their spouses taking care of themselves and putting in effort.  I recently read "For Women Only" by Shaunti Feldhahn, and there was a whole section in there about how much men value us taking care of ourselves and our appearance.  So it does make a difference!  Good luck, have fun, and most importantly, do it for yourself and reap the benefits!

So glad I'm a lesbian. So so glad. Yay lesbianism!

Dan must be a woman, because he could not give a single fuck.

labro

I work from home a couple of days a week. If I don't shower and get dressed first thing, it definitely doesn't happen til later in the afternoon because I get so wrapped up in work. I think a common strategy is to start your day as if you were actually commuting and going in to the office. For some people that means getting up, showered, dressed, going out for a coffee and then "going in" to the office (aka home) and starting work. It sounds like you just need a regular routine.

For the record, when I work from home AND on the days I go to the office, I rarely put on make up (I'm just not a make up wearer). I usually dry my hair because it only takes a few minutes to blow dry straight. My office is semi-casual so I don't have to worry about dressing up beyond a nice pair of jeans or slacks and a nice top.

lovemesomemonster

labro said:

I work from home a couple of days a week. If I don't shower and get dressed first thing, it definitely doesn't happen til later in the afternoon because I get so wrapped up in work. I think a common strategy is to start your day as if you were actually commuting and going in to the office. For some people that means getting up, showered, dressed, going out for a coffee and then "going in" to the office (aka home) and starting work. It sounds like you just need a regular routine.

For the record, when I work from home AND on the days I go to the office, I rarely put on make up (I'm just not a make up wearer). I usually dry my hair because it only takes a few minutes to blow dry straight. My office is semi-casual so I don't have to worry about dressing up beyond a nice pair of jeans or slacks and a nice top.

YES! This.. I need to get back to the regular routine I had when I was going into the office. We are a pretty casual department too, it was skirts or slacks if I felt like getting fancy and nice jeans other days so that's what I did today! Makeup for me consists of a swipe of mascara but the hair is what really  makes me feel like I'm "human".. I have curly hair that doesn't dry well and for the last year it has just been a frizz ball mess, I had no idea how long it even was anymore! So 15 months of working at home and I'm ready to get back into that routine

sarawifenow