How to convey to potential guests that our wedding will be... "underwhelming"?

CMGragain

Sorry if I misinterpreted.  At daughter's brunch we served mimosas and bloody marys.  My daughter was worried about her guests being unhappy that there was no open bar.  Many of them like to party down.  She asked a few of her friends for opinions, and the overwhelming response was, " What?  In the middle of the day?"
OP has said she is having a church wedding.  If she is having her reception there, most churches won't allow alcohol.
I really think too much emphasis is placed on alcohol at weddings.  JMHO.

VulgarGirl

CMGragain said:

Sorry if I misinterpreted.  At daughter's brunch we served mimosas and bloody marys.  My daughter was worried about her guests being unhappy that there was no open bar.  Many of them like to party down.  She asked a few of her friends for opinions, and the overwhelming response was, " What?  In the middle of the day?"
OP has said she is having a church wedding.  If she is having her reception there, most churches won't allow alcohol.
I really think too much emphasis is placed on alcohol at weddings.  JMHO.

Day drinking is the bomb. Try day drinking some more.

I think there not enough emphasis. But I danced on top of the bar swiging out of a bottle of Jack at my wedding.

flbride2015

MagicInk said:

CMGragain said:

Sorry if I misinterpreted.  At daughter's brunch we served mimosas and bloody marys.  My daughter was worried about her guests being unhappy that there was no open bar.  Many of them like to party down.  She asked a few of her friends for opinions, and the overwhelming response was, " What?  In the middle of the day?"
OP has said she is having a church wedding.  If she is having her reception there, most churches won't allow alcohol.
I really think too much emphasis is placed on alcohol at weddings.  JMHO.

Day drinking is the bomb. Try day drinking some more.

I think there not enough emphasis. But I danced on top of the bar swiging out of a bottle of Jack at my wedding.

I love day drinking sooo much! An all you can drink brunch is a great way to spend a Sunday. By the time Monday morning rolls around, there's no hangover because you slept through it!

lyndausvi

CMGragain said:

Erikan73 said:

From a guest point of view, I would be like, what is a simple reception. What I want to know more is that if you aren't going to provide dinner that your invite says "followed by a cocktail reception" or "followed by a cake and punch reception" This gives me an idea of what to expect for food and I can plan accordingly. There is nothing wrong with a cake & punch reception or a cocktail reception, but as a guest, then I won't come starving thinking I'm getting a full dinner. I'll make sure to eat before I come, knowing I'm just getting snacks. If I know, I can come prepared and be a happy guest.

Sorry, but not proper.  You should assume that a mid-afternoon wedding will have a light reception immediately following.

I would NEVER assume that.  Mostly because I've attend some 50 something weddings with 70 percent of them in the afternoon and EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM had booze and a full meal.   EVERY ONE.

Now I do not think couples are required to have full meals and booze.   They should host what they could afford.   However, if  I got an invite to a family wedding I would assume there would be a meal since I've never attended a wedding that didn't have a meal regardless of the time of day.  

I guess my point is IF the OP's family is like mine a heads up isn't a bad idea.  Not saying the invite needs to be the way.

OP - I would never consider a low budget wedding as underwhelming. Do not sell yourself short.   You can have a beautiful wedding on any budget.    BTW - I've attended an underwhelming wedding that cost a lot of money.     Money does not make a wedding good or bad.  How  you host your guests can though.  Your attitude also can make a wedding good or bad.  The couple at the underwhelming expensive wedding looked miserable.   Such a party pooper.

CaitFins

CMGragain said:

Sorry if I misinterpreted.  At daughter's brunch we served mimosas and bloody marys.  My daughter was worried about her guests being unhappy that there was no open bar.  Many of them like to party down.  She asked a few of her friends for opinions, and the overwhelming response was, " What?  In the middle of the day?"
OP has said she is having a church wedding.  If she is having her reception there, most churches won't allow alcohol.
I really think too much emphasis is placed on alcohol at weddings.  JMHO.

It's true, many churches don't allow alcohol, but we have confirmed that the church we plan to have our reception at does, and if this venue date unexpectedly falls through before we sign the contract for the date, there are other options in our area that are inexpensive and allow alcohol, so that concern has been covered. My FH's side, and I in recent years, have at least a glass of wine or champagne with essentially every special dinner or occasion, so we want to provide some drinks to celebrate our marriage. However, I greatly value your input, as I am certain that many of my own family members feel exactly the way you do, and I want to know how they will feel about it. We plan to have a nice medium, with a variety of non-alcoholic beverages equally as prominently offered and not an over-emphasis on alcohol. I doubt we'll be serving hard liquor or mixed drinks, for many reasons. Still, that's just our personal wedding - we want to give both of our families a comfortable time and a happy celebration, and I think this is a nice compromise. And I'm glad to hear your daughters' friends' opinions, it gives me comfort!

Thanks for the support and input, @lyndausvi!

Viczaesar

CMGragain said:

Sorry if I misinterpreted.  At daughter's brunch we served mimosas and bloody marys.  My daughter was worried about her guests being unhappy that there was no open bar.  Many of them like to party down.  She asked a few of her friends for opinions, and the overwhelming response was, " What?  In the middle of the day?"
OP has said she is having a church wedding.  If she is having her reception there, most churches won't allow alcohol.
I really think too much emphasis is placed on alcohol at weddings.  JMHO.

Not in my experience.  Your experience is not universal.

lyndausvi

Viczaesar said:

CMGragain said:

Sorry if I misinterpreted.  At daughter's brunch we served mimosas and bloody marys.  My daughter was worried about her guests being unhappy that there was no open bar.  Many of them like to party down.  She asked a few of her friends for opinions, and the overwhelming response was, " What?  In the middle of the day?"
OP has said she is having a church wedding.  If she is having her reception there, most churches won't allow alcohol.
I really think too much emphasis is placed on alcohol at weddings.  JMHO.

Not in my experience.  Your experience is not universal.

Church halls in my home town had built-in bar with taps.

hellosweetie1015

OP - I have the same budget!

I posted about my plans (which are distressingly shaky, since Friday is the 6-month mark....) in a thread on the Budget board. Granted I'm in a pretty low cost-of-living area, and my guest list is 35 including FI and I, phantom plus ones for everyone not in a relationship (SOs get invites), and every vendor (just our photog and officiant and their SOs). So it's considerably smaller. But a $3k budget is easily doable.

hyechica81

you can def do a 3000 wedding but my only concern is finding a photographer who is dirt cheep 

i dont know where you live but i am in new england connecticut one of the most expensive states to live in and wedding photos are expensive here i was lucky to find one at 1600 when the normal is 2500 and up 

you might want to contact any local colleges who have photography classes and or programs you might have luck looking at a community college ( most have those kind of programs) see if you can find a student who is looking to do some work i would ask around and try to find out if anyone in those programs is concentrating on wedding photography and would like to do a wedding for x amount of hours for this much money. 

but if you dont want to go that route and rather have somoene who has been in the field for a long time then i would start contacting people asap and tell them this is your budget i need you for x amount of hours. ( you said 2 hour reception so i would figure 4-5 hours tops

you figure getting ready with your maids if you have any about an hour or so 

then church then photos and then your reception 

flowers budget flowers are always best gerbera daisys are great budger flowers when they are in season i did those for my bouquets they are one of my favorite flowers. cut down on your maids and groomsmen do just moh and best man that way you cost will be less look at florists in grocery stores or places such as costco, also florist who are all occasion will be cheeper than florists who are design studios and only primarily do events for weddings and parties 

i had a budget wedding myself like you i had a huge family and i was close to every single one of them we had invited 160 and only 116 showed up. 

we did a lot of dyi things my cousin who was also one of my maids helped make bows for the pews at church, i got mason jars cheep at goodwill and we wrapped burlap and lace around them for my bridal shower and filled them with daisy's i did my save the dates as a photograph

i had my dad whos a retired wedding photographer take our photos i had my brother whos great with graphics and editing create a photo with our date and wedding website. i printed them out for less than 15.00 at walmart 

i got my invites from theamericanwedding.com we spent 160 on invites with a coupon

my mom and sister did my invites for my bridal shower

for our favors i got these treat bags on sale from michaels because they were making room for new wedding stuff and my mom sister and grandma chipped in and filled them with inexpensive chocolates  

my flowers for everyone including the church was around 850.00

my centerpeices my dj and my cake were all included with my venue  

i was able to do everything for under 14000

so your 3000 is very doable 

kaos16

OP, I just want to add that if your friends and family are going to show up at your wedding and complain that you didn't spend enough money, or that things aren't fancy enough. . . . they are jerks!

You can have a lovely wedding at ANY price point, as long as your guests are treated well.  You can be a good host on any budget, IMHO.

TNDancer

hyechica81 said:

my flowers for everyone including the church was around 850.00

my centerpeices my dj and my cake were all included with my venue  

i was able to do everything for under 14000

so your 3000 is very doable 

Is there a typo here? 11k is a huge price difference to provide examples

ChemFanatic25

TNDancer said:

hyechica81 said:

my flowers for everyone including the church was around 850.00

my centerpeices my dj and my cake were all included with my venue  

i was able to do everything for under 14000

so your 3000 is very doable 

Is there a typo here? 11k is a huge price difference to provide examples

Yeah, what she could have suggested was skip a lot of the small things like flowers, centerpieces, favors, decorations, etc. That stuff is not important. That will really cut down on costs and the small things can add up quickly.

 

There is a significant difference between 3k and 11k like 8k difference.

[Deleted User]

CMGragain said:

Erikan73 said:

From a guest point of view, I would be like, what is a simple reception. What I want to know more is that if you aren't going to provide dinner that your invite says "followed by a cocktail reception" or "followed by a cake and punch reception" This gives me an idea of what to expect for food and I can plan accordingly. There is nothing wrong with a cake & punch reception or a cocktail reception, but as a guest, then I won't come starving thinking I'm getting a full dinner. I'll make sure to eat before I come, knowing I'm just getting snacks. If I know, I can come prepared and be a happy guest.

Sorry, but not proper.  You should assume that a mid-afternoon wedding will have a light reception immediately following.

I personally wouldn't assume that because what if the reception is mid-afternoon due to the availability of the reception location? Or maybe they are having a full reception early due to having to have an early ceremony due to the availability of the ceremony location & they are avoiding a gap?

kmmssg

lyndausvi said:

CMGragain said:

Erikan73 said:

From a guest point of view, I would be like, what is a simple reception. What I want to know more is that if you aren't going to provide dinner that your invite says "followed by a cocktail reception" or "followed by a cake and punch reception" This gives me an idea of what to expect for food and I can plan accordingly. There is nothing wrong with a cake & punch reception or a cocktail reception, but as a guest, then I won't come starving thinking I'm getting a full dinner. I'll make sure to eat before I come, knowing I'm just getting snacks. If I know, I can come prepared and be a happy guest.

Sorry, but not proper.  You should assume that a mid-afternoon wedding will have a light reception immediately following.

I would NEVER assume that.  Mostly because I've attend some 50 something weddings with 70 percent of them in the afternoon and EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM had booze and a full meal.   EVERY ONE.

Now I do not think couples are required to have full meals and booze.   They should host what they could afford.   However, if  I got an invite to a family wedding I would assume there would be a meal since I've never attended a wedding that didn't have a meal regardless of the time of day.  

I guess my point is IF the OP's family is like mine a heads up isn't a bad idea.  Not saying the invite needs to be the way.

OP - I would never consider a low budget wedding as underwhelming. Do not sell yourself short.   You can have a beautiful wedding on any budget.    BTW - I've attended an underwhelming wedding that cost a lot of money.     Money does not make a wedding good or bad.  How  you host your guests can though.  Your attitude also can make a wedding good or bad.  The couple at the underwhelming expensive wedding looked miserable.   Such a party pooper.

I have attended more mid afternoon weddings that served full meals than served cake/punch/crudite.  Why would offering the information be so improper?  And, more importantly, who could it possibly offend?  Etiquette-wise that would be one of those victimless crimes I would be happy to see.

ChemFanatic25

kmmssg said:

lyndausvi said:

CMGragain said:

Erikan73 said:

From a guest point of view, I would be like, what is a simple reception. What I want to know more is that if you aren't going to provide dinner that your invite says "followed by a cocktail reception" or "followed by a cake and punch reception" This gives me an idea of what to expect for food and I can plan accordingly. There is nothing wrong with a cake & punch reception or a cocktail reception, but as a guest, then I won't come starving thinking I'm getting a full dinner. I'll make sure to eat before I come, knowing I'm just getting snacks. If I know, I can come prepared and be a happy guest.

Sorry, but not proper.  You should assume that a mid-afternoon wedding will have a light reception immediately following.

I would NEVER assume that.  Mostly because I've attend some 50 something weddings with 70 percent of them in the afternoon and EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM had booze and a full meal.   EVERY ONE.

Now I do not think couples are required to have full meals and booze.   They should host what they could afford.   However, if  I got an invite to a family wedding I would assume there would be a meal since I've never attended a wedding that didn't have a meal regardless of the time of day.  

I guess my point is IF the OP's family is like mine a heads up isn't a bad idea.  Not saying the invite needs to be the way.

OP - I would never consider a low budget wedding as underwhelming. Do not sell yourself short.   You can have a beautiful wedding on any budget.    BTW - I've attended an underwhelming wedding that cost a lot of money.     Money does not make a wedding good or bad.  How  you host your guests can though.  Your attitude also can make a wedding good or bad.  The couple at the underwhelming expensive wedding looked miserable.   Such a party pooper.

I have attended more mid afternoon weddings that served full meals than served cake/punch/crudite.  Why would offering the information be so improper?  And, more importantly, who could it possibly offend?  Etiquette-wise that would be one of those victimless crimes I would be happy to see.

Have to agree. It's not listing who is NOT invited, doesn't list the registry, not asking for money or funding for a honeymoon fund, (what other rude things are there?) - I agree with the PP's it's an opportunity to plan ahead. Everyone eats at different times and this provides and idea of what they will be receiving and can plan ahead.

RezIpsa

I feel like most weddings now are overwhelming, and would welcome the chance to attend what I consider a "normal" wedding. Multiday affairs, thousands and thousands of pictures over hours of captive guest and wedding party time, multiple prewedding parties including OTT bachelor and bachelorette parties,  everything DIY'd, the overload on personalization where every aspect must "reflect the couple and their relationship", the ever increasing expense...it all just seems out of hand to me. So many people either freak out from the stress, or avoid the whole thing by never marrying or eloping (not that there is anything wrong with either option) because they perceive weddings as these huge, demanding productions, where everyone expects tons of booze and food and a monster dance party. Those can be fun weddings, but it would be so refreshing to see a return to what OP is describing as an "underwhelming" wedding. I would love to see the emphasis shift back to the union, and away from the party and entertainment. It wouldn't give license to be a poor or unthinking host, just to plan a human scaled event.

novella1186

Knottie1428617143 said:

I feel like most weddings now are overwhelming, and would welcome the chance to attend what I consider a "normal" wedding. Multiday affairs, thousands and thousands of pictures over hours of captive guest and wedding party time, multiple prewedding parties including OTT bachelor and bachelorette parties,  everything DIY'd, the overload on personalization where every aspect must "reflect the couple and their relationship", the ever increasing expense...it all just seems out of hand to me. So many people either freak out from the stress, or avoid the whole thing by never marrying or eloping (not that there is anything wrong with either option) because they perceive weddings as these huge, demanding productions, where everyone expects tons of booze and food and a monster dance party. Those can be fun weddings, but it would be so refreshing to see a return to what OP is describing as an "underwhelming" wedding. I would love to see the emphasis shift back to the union, and away from the party and entertainment. It wouldn't give license to be a poor or unthinking host, just to plan a human scaled event.

Hey I like you. You should change your user name so we can get to know you! 

RezIpsa

Thank you for reminding me! KnotRiley got me a user name with lightning fast speed.

Snaps816

Maybe you could find a great local bar or restaurant and enlist a few friends to spread a word-of-mouth "after party" to your wedding. That way all the guests could reconvene and continue the party. Because we all know that usually happens anyway, and often times is a memorable part of a fun wedding weekend. If you take the time to select a cool place, it will be more special than if it ended up being the chain restaurant adjoining the hotel. You and your new husband could show up, or not. It would be tacky to make this an official part of your wedding, but if you can set it up to feel like an informal, totally voluntary, word-of-mouth thing, I don't think it would be in poor taste at all. That way people wouldn't be returning to their hotel rooms or homes feeling underwhelmed. Nobody would mind paying for their own drink or two, or five. I went to an awesome wedding over the summer where the venue closed at 10 -- all the younger people ended up changing clothes and reconvening on the beach nearby, building a bonfire, and having a killer after-party. I wouldn't say the after-party outshined the wedding, but it was certainly a huge part of the overall experience. And it didn't cost the bride and groom anything. 

I would add that if you do this, you should let the establishment know, and pick a big enough place to accomodate a large rambunctious group. Any bar or restaurant appreciates advance notice if a huge group is going to show up -- that doesn't necessarily mean you have to "book" the place. Just let them know so they can be appropriately staffed. And tip well.

flantastic

RezIpsa said:

I feel like most weddings now are overwhelming, and would welcome the chance to attend what I consider a "normal" wedding. Multiday affairs, thousands and thousands of pictures over hours of captive guest and wedding party time, multiple prewedding parties including OTT bachelor and bachelorette parties,  everything DIY'd, the overload on personalization where every aspect must "reflect the couple and their relationship", the ever increasing expense...it all just seems out of hand to me. So many people either freak out from the stress, or avoid the whole thing by never marrying or eloping (not that there is anything wrong with either option) because they perceive weddings as these huge, demanding productions, where everyone expects tons of booze and food and a monster dance party. Those can be fun weddings, but it would be so refreshing to see a return to what OP is describing as an "underwhelming" wedding. I would love to see the emphasis shift back to the union, and away from the party and entertainment. It wouldn't give license to be a poor or unthinking host, just to plan a human scaled event.

H and I just had a conversation about disliking holiday weekend weddings - his brother and SIL won't be able to join us for our usual plans because one of their friends decided to have a wedding over July 4th weekend, and last year his cousin tried to take up all of Labor Day weekend with various WR events. If people really wanted to spend their vacation time and "make a vacation" or a multi-day event of your wedding or location, they'd take their vacation time and do it. Most people would much prefer to do the holiday traditions they already have, with their own families.

I said something like "Newsflash - you're just not that important to most people." He said "Ooh, cold" but didn't disagree. I'm pretty sure all this hoopla comes out of an overinflated self-importance.

SP29

Lots of great advice for the OP here!

I agree- host your guests well, and you are doing nothing wrong. Do not sell yourself (or your wedding) short. You do not need to describe your wedding as simple. I also agree about bringing the wedding back to the union, not the party (anyone can host a party any time for any reason). If anyone complains that it is not fancy enough, it's on them.

Invite whom you would like to invite. It is then the guests' choice if they would like to travel for the wedding or not. I would rather be invited to an afternoon wedding then not invited at all. Sure, you might have some guests who say they can't justify the cost or time needed, but there are lots of people who enjoy travel or the sake of travel and would come regardless of the style. 

I agree that the only information required is the location and time of day. I realize it is not traditional etiquette, but I do not think there is anything wrong with saying, "Cocktail reception or Cake and Punch to follow". Etiquette is about treating your guests fairly and making them feel comfortable. I don't think stating any of the above would make someone uncomfortable. 

I think your biggest expense will be the photographer- that is hard to find cheap, and sometimes cheap isn't always the best. But, there are ways to work with the photographer- most packages these days seem to include an engagement session, 6+++ hours of photography, two photographers, a photo book and slide show after, etc. etc. Find some decent photographers and ask them what they can offer for 2-4 hours of photography, one shooter, all photos on a USB after, and that's all. You may be surprised.

As for for your dress and any decor, check out local wedding groups on Facebook. You are sure to find some great stuff for a great price from other brides.

Good luck and keep coming back! 

MairePoppy

CMGragain said:

Sorry if I misinterpreted.  At daughter's brunch we served mimosas and bloody marys.  My daughter was worried about her guests being unhappy that there was no open bar.  Many of them like to party down.  She asked a few of her friends for opinions, and the overwhelming response was, " What?  In the middle of the day?"
OP has said she is having a church wedding.  If she is having her reception there, most churches won't allow alcohol.
I really think too much emphasis is placed on alcohol at weddings.  JMHO.

They must not be Catholic. Most of my family wedding receptions have been in the afternoon to avoid 'the gap.' They all had four course dinners or full buffets (even at 2p.m.), full open bars and crazy dancing. 

That isn't to say that I think booze is required. 

VerizonGirl

A former student of mine had his wedding 5 hours away from his hometown where I live, and on the invitation they put "cake and punch reception to follow."

Now CMGr is right that spelling it out like that is not proper.  But it clearly told us that this was not a weekend of fun events, and it wasn't going to be a Sat night dinner/dance, and it wasn't going to be a light brunch or heavy apps.  It was cake and punch, and, unless we were THISCLOSE to the groom, we could stay home.

Later, I said something to him, and he said that this was his wife's way of "inviting everyone" so they would get GIFTS from everyone, but the actual wedding would be small (which she wanted) because people wouldn't travel 5 hours for cake and punch.  Wow.

Wegl13

I just wanted to chime in and say- you do not have to "convey that your wedding is going to be underwhelming." My budget was more than yours and I had less people, but I also did an afternoon wedding because that is what I could afford- no full sit down meal, no dj, and very little booze (we had champagne, and also tea, water, and punch at Grandma's request for the non drinkers). I had one person on here tell me that they would feel cheated/upset if they flew cross-country for such an event (it was just one person but it still did hurt my feelings). Luckily my guests weren't like that and I agree with just about everyone here- host them properly and who can make it, will make it.


I know some of you guys are going to disagree with this but.... My husband said "the only thing I expect is cake. You better have cake at the reception. Everything else is optional." And I will say the most disappointing wedding I ever went to was a brunch wedding and they had BRAN MUFFINS and they were made to look like cupcakes and I have never felt so let down by food before.

Knottie1429926455

I share your concerns but hopefully can offer some solace. Both of us come from relatively poor backgrounds, we also come from families that had courthouse weddings and nothing more. However, last year his uncle had a HUGE lavish wedding (which is nothing like what we want) and his family is still going on about it, my step mother has money and children form whom she plans HUGE weddings as well. For everyone else, I'm not worried about what they're going to think, but for these people who are so caught up in the big celebration, I'm a little afraid to disappoint. But the thing you'll need to remember is that the people who are going to take time off and travel to see your wedding are people who love you and want to share in your special day, not because they are looking to get something out of it.
Anyone that I've talked to I've specified that we're having just a simple family style picnic afterwards (there will only be about 30 guests in total) and it's not going to be a big to-do. Our invitation says that there will be a picnic--NOT a reception--afterward.
But I really don't think you'll have to be like "Hey, just so you know, our reception is going to suck if you have high expectations"
That's not what your guests will be worried about.

RezIpsa

Knottie1429926455 said:

I share your concerns but hopefully can offer some solace. Both of us come from relatively poor backgrounds, we also come from families that had courthouse weddings and nothing more. However, last year his uncle had a HUGE lavish wedding (which is nothing like what we want) and his family is still going on about it, my step mother has money and children form whom she plans HUGE weddings as well. For everyone else, I'm not worried about what they're going to think, but for these people who are so caught up in the big celebration, I'm a little afraid to disappoint. But the thing you'll need to remember is that the people who are going to take time off and travel to see your wedding are people who love you and want to share in your special day, not because they are looking to get something out of it.
Anyone that I've talked to I've specified that we're having just a simple family style picnic afterwards (there will only be about 30 guests in total) and it's not going to be a big to-do. Our invitation says that there will be a picnic--NOT a reception--afterward.
But I really don't think you'll have to be like "Hey, just so you know, our reception is going to suck if you have high expectations"
That's not what your guests will be worried about.

I would be over the moon to go to a picnic reception. Sounds lovely.

I'm a little confused by the statement that you called it a picnic and not a reception. If it is after the ceremony and guests are attending it is automatically a reception and all the usual hosting rules apply.

Knottie1429926455

RezIpsa said:

Knottie1429926455 said:

I share your concerns but hopefully can offer some solace. Both of us come from relatively poor backgrounds, we also come from families that had courthouse weddings and nothing more. However, last year his uncle had a HUGE lavish wedding (which is nothing like what we want) and his family is still going on about it, my step mother has money and children form whom she plans HUGE weddings as well. For everyone else, I'm not worried about what they're going to think, but for these people who are so caught up in the big celebration, I'm a little afraid to disappoint. But the thing you'll need to remember is that the people who are going to take time off and travel to see your wedding are people who love you and want to share in your special day, not because they are looking to get something out of it.
Anyone that I've talked to I've specified that we're having just a simple family style picnic afterwards (there will only be about 30 guests in total) and it's not going to be a big to-do. Our invitation says that there will be a picnic--NOT a reception--afterward.
But I really don't think you'll have to be like "Hey, just so you know, our reception is going to suck if you have high expectations"
That's not what your guests will be worried about.

I would be over the moon to go to a picnic reception. Sounds lovely.

I'm a little confused by the statement that you called it a picnic and not a reception. If it is after the ceremony and guests are attending it is automatically a reception and all the usual hosting rules apply.

I wanted to make a point of the lack of formality in it all. I don't think it really matters what you call it, but as it will be just a small ordeal, I didn't want anyone to question what they should wear/bring/expect. Not that calling it a picnic versus a reception changes how we will be hosting it.

But thank you for the added confidence in our picnic reception! I'm naturally nervous about it going over well, but I think it fits us perfectly