Maid of Honor and Matron of Honor

Knottie57072267

Hello Ladies!

I'm getting married June 2016 and have recently asked my BFF since third grade to be my MOH, but she is married. I've asked another close friend to be my Matron of Honor, she is married too. I have asked my two sisters and another friend to be Bridesmaids and they are all married. Should I have not asked my BFF to be my MOH since she is married? Is there another name other than MOH to make her a special part of my wedding? Should I have two Matron of Honors? Should they all be Matron of Honors? Any ideas are welcome!  

bizzy592

I think having 5 Matrons of Honor is a bit of overkill.

Knottie57072267

You're right, bizzy592, it probably is. I just don't want hurt feelings. 

frenchiekin

Your BFF is married, so that automatically makes her a "matron" of honor.  Technically you can have as many as you want, and you don't need to have both a maid and matron of honor... but the MOH(s) should be the ones absolutely closest to you.  I wouldn't imagine that all five of them fit the description.

You can have anyone you want in your bridal party; their relationship statuses have absolutely no bearing on anything.

NowIamMrsKlein

My MOH is married as are all my bridesmaids. They are being called Maid of Honour and Bridesmaids. My MOH hates the thought of Matron of honour because she thinks it sounds old and fussy.

I don't think anyone is going to be "I can't be a bridesmaid! I'm Married!" Just pick your MOH and bridesmaids based on who is important to you and don't worry about relationship status vs. titles. Because it's just a title. I think you are overthinking it a bit;)

KatWAG

Knottie57072267 said:

Hello Ladies!

I'm getting married June 2016 and have recently asked my BFF since third grade to be my MOH, but she is married. I've asked another close friend to be my Matron of Honor, she is married too. I have asked my two sisters and another friend to be Bridesmaids and they are all married. Should I have not asked my BFF to be my MOH since she is married? Is there another name other than MOH to make her a special part of my wedding? Should I have two Matron of Honors? Should they all be Matron of Honors? Any ideas are welcome!  

BRIDESMAID.

FWIW, being a guest is an honor.

Knottie57072267

Thank you. I hope this doesn't sound like a dumb question but, does one Matron of Honor do more than the other Matron of Honor if I change her from maid of honor? Would they just do things together like showers etc...? 

KatWAG

dup

Knottie57072267

Yes, I am over thinking it, you are absolutely correct. 

anjemon

Knottie57072267 said:

Thank you. I hope this doesn't sound like a dumb question but, does one Matron of Honor do more than the other Matron of Honor if I change her from maid of honor? Would they just do things together like showers etc...? 

That depends on your MOHs. My sister and I were Matron and Maid of Honor for our younger sister's wedding. Since my middle sister is more of a planner and had a more flexible job, she did the majority of the work planning the shower and bachelorette. I helped out when I could and chipped in more money because I didn't have as much time. I'd say leave it up to your girls to figure out what each one wants to do and what they want to host.

littlepep

Knottie57072267 said:

Thank you. I hope this doesn't sound like a dumb question but, does one Matron of Honor do more than the other Matron of Honor if I change her from maid of honor? Would they just do things together like showers etc...? 

They aren't required to do those things, regardless of titles. If they offer, great. If not, no big deal.

ETA: You can have two Matron of Honors. Five seems ridiculous. 

charcoalandblush

Knottie57072267 said:

Thank you. I hope this doesn't sound like a dumb question but, does one Matron of Honor do more than the other Matron of Honor if I change her from maid of honor? Would they just do things together like showers etc...? 

Well, they both do exactly amount that they want to do. Neither MOH (or your bridesmaids, for that matter) have "jobs" or "duties," so I hope that's not what you mean by "do more." They may graciously offer to throw you a shower, help with DIY projects, etc., but they are by no means required to do so. If they'd like to throw you a shower together, or separately, they can decide that on their own. But you shouldn't expect them to/assume they will until they tell you their plans.

[Deleted User]

Knottie57072267 said:

Hello Ladies!

I'm getting married June 2016 and have recently asked my BFF since third grade to be my MOH, but she is married. I've asked another close friend to be my Matron of Honor, she is married too. I have asked my two sisters and another friend to be Bridesmaids and they are all married. Should I have not asked my BFF to be my MOH since she is married? Is there another name other than MOH to make her a special part of my wedding? Should I have two Matron of Honors? Should they all be Matron of Honors? Any ideas are welcome!  

I know this is too late for you, but for someone else who might be choosing their bridal party... wait until you're around 9 months out from your wedding before you ask your people to be in your wedding party.  Relationships can change a lot.  If your wedding isn't until June of 2016, you should be asking until October-ish of this year.

But if you've already asked, just let them keep their titles.  Or, since there seems to be a lot of people who don't like the term Matron of Honor, ask your two MsOH if they'd rather be referred to as Maid of Honor or Matron of Honor in the program.

southernbelle0915

Knottie57072267 said:

Thank you. I hope this doesn't sound like a dumb question but, does one Matron of Honor do more than the other Matron of Honor if I change her from maid of honor? Would they just do things together like showers etc...? 

No. None of your MOHs or BMs are required to do anything except show up in the dress, sober and on time. They are not required to throw parties, host events, do crafts, or anything else. Their title is literally a "guest of honor" title - that's all.

LabLove86

Knottie57072267 said:

You're right, bizzy592, it probably is. I just don't want hurt feelings. 

I feel like all the girls who are standing up for me are important to me for separate reasons, and I have very different relationships with them - so because of that I am just not having a MOH at all. 4 bridesmaids - all equal - because I love them all but I'm not going to put one relationship "above" another. All of them are fine with not being a MOH.

Viczaesar

Knottie57072267 said:

Thank you. I hope this doesn't sound like a dumb question but, does one Matron of Honor do more than the other Matron of Honor if I change her from maid of honor? Would they just do things together like showers etc...? 

What?  Matron and Maid of Honor are identical honor positions.  One word just means unmarried lady and other just means married lady.  It's fine if they want to go by Maid even if they're actually married.  It doesn't matter at all.  Neither roles have "things" that they're supposed to do.  It's an honorary role, which means that you're honoring them by giving them that title.  They have no obligations to you other than to get the selected attire, which should be chosen with their budgets and comfort in mind, and show up at the wedding.  There are no such things as wedding party duties.

SP29

Viczaesar said:

Knottie57072267 said:

Thank you. I hope this doesn't sound like a dumb question but, does one Matron of Honor do more than the other Matron of Honor if I change her from maid of honor? Would they just do things together like showers etc...? 

What?  Matron and Maid of Honor are identical honor positions.  One word just means unmarried lady and other just means married lady.  It's fine if they want to go by Maid even if they're actually married.  It doesn't matter at all.  Neither roles have "things" that they're supposed to do.  It's an honorary role, which means that you're honoring them by giving them that title.  They have no obligations to you other than to get the selected attire, which should be chosen with their budgets and comfort in mind, and show up at the wedding.  There are no such things as wedding party duties.

This.

There is no difference between a Maid and Matron of honour, just semantics. A matron is a married woman. 

VerizonGirl

You have asked two friends to be MOH.  That's fine.
Because they are married women, they are Matrons of Honor.  Not Matron of Honors.

Then you ask three friends to be BMs.  That's fine.
Because they are married women, they are Bridesmatrons.  Not Bridesmaids.

ILoveBeachMusic

Maybe things have changed, but the Maid/Matron of Honor did have specific duties when I was married. She held the bride's bouquet during the Vows and also helped "arrange" the dress train after the bride moved toward the altar (if a church wedding). She also held the Groom's ring if there wasn't a ring bearer who had them. Like I said, maybe this is no longer done.

AddieCake

ILoveBeachMusic said:

Maybe things have changed, but the Maid/Matron of Honor did have specific duties when I was married. She held the bride's bouquet during the Vows and also helped "arrange" the dress train after the bride moved toward the altar (if a church wedding). She also held the Groom's ring if there wasn't a ring bearer who had them. Like I said, maybe this is no longer done.

Yes, someone still tends to do those things, but it's not necessarily by a specific person. I had 2 bridesmaids and none designated as MOH. I have to look at my pics to know who held my bouquet. I have no idea which one of them had my husband's ring.