It's been a while... DH/FI/SO venting

thefanciestbeckler

My husband has been sooooooo cranky lately. Everything is getting on his nerves. He has decided that his job is ruining his life (??) because we don't have the same off days. But he gets off at 2 pm every day, so we still spend every evening together as well as weekend afternoons. Talk about melodramatic. He's acting like a teenage girl!!

What are your H/FI/SO rants these days?

climbingsingle

thefanciestbeckler said:

My husband has been sooooooo cranky lately. Everything is getting on his nerves. He has decided that his job is ruining his life (??) because we don't have the same off days. But he gets off at 2 pm every day, so we still spend every evening together as well as weekend afternoons. Talk about melodramatic. He's acting like a teenage girl!!

What are your H/FI/SO rants these days?

Nice gender stereotype there. 

madamerwin

My H also complains about his job, because he works four days of 11 hours or three days of 12 hours each week (rotating every other week), and then he gets 3-4 day weekends... He love his weekends and says he wouldn't trade them for anything, but bitches about having to work long shifts. You can't have it both ways, buddy. I WISH I could work his schedule!

H and our dog are currently driving down to California for Thanksgiving, because he has all week off (long weekends + holiday), but I have to work until Wednesday. So he ditched me. He is currently stopped at In-N-Out halfway between home and his Mom's in CA, while I'm stuck at work. I'm bitter.

lyndausvi

I do  not have anything to bitch about right now.  Between traveling and being off he has been very helpful.    

The slopes opened up this past weekend and he is trying to get in 100 ski days.   Then his restaurants opens back up on Thursday.  I think he has been on his A-game because he will be gone a lot in the next few months.

julieanne912

Last year at Thanksgiving, some unfortunate events meant we didn't do the traditional turkey dinner.  H (then FI) at the time, whined about it.

So this year, I'm planning a big traditional dinner with about 10 people coming.  Yesterday I had a game plan ready to go.  He comes in, starts sitting on the couch watching football and is like "You need to make the bed in the office".   Cause you know, putting sheets on a bed in a room that's hardly ever used (when we have no overnight guests coming) is totally top priority.  Then starts questioning the order that I'm preparing/prepping the food.  I'm like well, um, maybe if you helped some, you could  what order everything is done in.  

kvruns

lyndausvi said:

I do  not have anything to bitch about right now.  Between traveling and being off he has been very helpful.    

The slopes opened up this past weekend and he is trying to get in 100 ski days.   Then his restaurants opens back up on Thursday.  I think he has been on his A-game because he will be gone a lot in the next few months.

What mountain does he ski? Are you in Aspen or did I imagine that?  H really likes to ski in the Denver area and I wanted to go there for his 40th bday in January but his friend he likes to ski with is out for any ski trips in the forseeable future (originally it was because of possibly selling his house next year so there would be no March trip; and now his gf is pregnant so I think no trips for a while). Apparently H would rather not go at all vs go with me, a very novice skier. He doesn't think it's any fun to go by himself on the big hills

charlotte989875

I just accepted a new job that will move us across 3 states. It is a great job for me (and will be for H too), pay increase, better work resources, more prestigious, etc. I'm super excited, and we both talked about how it would be a great opportunity if I got it. H has been so busy with work and him taking some classes that he's barely talked about the impending move. I know he's happy about it, just frustrated he isn't a little more excited. Just wish we could have celebrated a little.

lyndausvi

kvruns said:

lyndausvi said:

I do  not have anything to bitch about right now.  Between traveling and being off he has been very helpful.    

The slopes opened up this past weekend and he is trying to get in 100 ski days.   Then his restaurants opens back up on Thursday.  I think he has been on his A-game because he will be gone a lot in the next few months.

What mountain does he ski? Are you in Aspen or did I imagine that?  H really likes to ski in the Denver area and I wanted to go there for his 40th bday in January but his friend he likes to ski with is out for any ski trips in the forseeable future (originally it was because of possibly selling his house next year so there would be no March trip; and now his gf is pregnant so I think no trips for a while). Apparently H would rather not go at all vs go with me, a very novice skier. He doesn't think it's any fun to go by himself on the big hills

Mostly Snowmass.   He can get from our place to the top of the mountain in less than 30 minutes.    He hits up Aspen and Highlands too sometimes.  Snowmass is closer and the parking is WAY easier then Aspen so it's just more appealing to him.  He will ski for a few hours before going to work.

I'm a horrible skier.  Greens with a few blues.  Then give me some lunch and a cocktail and I'm good.   I have the 4-day pass + 2 lessons that includes lift tickets.  If I want to go more DH has 50% off pass to give me or I can reload my pass.    Normally though I'm good 6 or so times out on the slopes.

DH has the unlimited pass.  He is a  Double diamond black and black diamond skier.  If he is with the right people he will do some back country too.  Most days he heads to the mountains alone, but always ends up meeting up with random people.  Even sometimes hangs out with tourists he meets on the lift.

kvruns

lyndausvi said:

kvruns said:

lyndausvi said:

I do  not have anything to bitch about right now.  Between traveling and being off he has been very helpful.    

The slopes opened up this past weekend and he is trying to get in 100 ski days.   Then his restaurants opens back up on Thursday.  I think he has been on his A-game because he will be gone a lot in the next few months.

What mountain does he ski? Are you in Aspen or did I imagine that?  H really likes to ski in the Denver area and I wanted to go there for his 40th bday in January but his friend he likes to ski with is out for any ski trips in the forseeable future (originally it was because of possibly selling his house next year so there would be no March trip; and now his gf is pregnant so I think no trips for a while). Apparently H would rather not go at all vs go with me, a very novice skier. He doesn't think it's any fun to go by himself on the big hills

Mostly Snowmass.   He can get from our place to the top of the mountain in less than 30 minutes.    He hits up Aspen and Highlands too sometimes.  Snowmass is closer and the parking is WAY easier then Aspen so it's just more appealing to him.  He will ski for a few hours before going to work.

I'm a horrible skier.  Greens with a few blues.  Then give me some lunch and a cocktail and I'm good.   I have the 4-day pass + 2 lessons that includes lift tickets.  If I want to go more DH has 50% off pass to give me or I can reload my pass.    Normally though I'm good 6 or so times out on the slopes.

DH has the unlimited pass.  He is a  Double diamond black and black diamond skier.  If he is with the right people he will do some back country too.  Most days he heads to the mountains alone, but always ends up meeting up with random people.  Even sometimes hangs out with tourists he meets on the lift.

You and I need to ski together and our H's can because H does the same kind of skiing as yours! I do the baby hills here (which umm are like 400 feet or something haha we don't have real skiing) and would be on the small slopes in CO. I sort of kind of can't get up if I fall, other than hope to clip out of my skis - I've tried standing up and watched videos and everything and despite having strong runner legs I just can't stand back up. He kept saying he wants to get me out there and even got me a complete ski set last year for Christmas (skis, boots, helmet, goggles, poles, etc) but apparently he only wants me out there if there are other people hehe.

luckya23

I'm definitely annoying my DH lately WAY more than he is annoying me.  Christmas sales have me going nuts, and he isn't too happy about the money leaving or the things coming into the house.

thefanciestbeckler

luckya23 said:

I'm definitely annoying my DH lately WAY more than he is annoying me.  Christmas sales have me going nuts, and he isn't too happy about the money leaving or the things coming into the house.

So much this. We went shopping for decorations last night since it's our first Christmas in our new house/being married, and I felt like I had Ebenezer Scrooge with me!

ETF words

banana468

DH has been great lately. In the last two weeks I've lost two family members - one to cancer and one to suicide. He's been phenomenal through it all. I am not complaining about photo hanging until at least January!

princessleia22

thefanciestbeckler said:

My husband has been sooooooo cranky lately. Everything is getting on his nerves. He has decided that his job is ruining his life (??) because we don't have the same off days. But he gets off at 2 pm every day, so we still spend every evening together as well as weekend afternoons. Talk about melodramatic. He's acting like a teenage girl!!

What are your H/FI/SO rants these days?

My only DH complaint/vent right now is that his slight gambling addiction is resurfacing lately. We both have a tendency to get drawn to casinos and have both had issues in the past where it got out of hand (before we met).  We also both have parents that are functional gambling addicts (they gamble regularly, but are good at limiting spending).  We both decided long ago that it wasn't worth it to gamble regularly and are pretty good keeping it in check. But, if we go once (which we do on occasion), we start feeling the draw to continue. A couple weeks ago we went to Laughlin for the weekend.  Then last week, while doing laundry I found a slip from the local casino (he didn't bother cashing in his $0.12).  I complained to him about going to the casino (mainly because I know the tendency we both have to get dragged into it the habit after going once).  So, then the last week or so, he's been buying a lot of lottery tickets.  Some regular lottery and some scratcher tickets. On Friday, he bought 5 scratchers, won $10, so bought 10 more tickets, won $25, so bought 25 lotto tickets.  He's not spending a lot of money gambling ($10-20 on tickets isn't much), but it's the repeating gambling trend that is forming that is concerning me.  I mentioned it to him last night and he acknowledged it and says he will cut back or stop.  But, we go through this every time we gamble.  It turns into a week or two of repeated small scale gambling, then we catch ourselves before it gets out of hand and stop.  This time, after Laughlin, I've felt the pull, but I've done very good at denying the urges.  

But on the other hand, the past week has been tough on me.  I hired a new employee (we previously had just me and my business partner), so I'm stuck trying to do my own work and train her.  And I feel like I'm getting nothing done and stressed out.  And my back has been killing me all week, so I've come home and instantly want to just lay on a heating pad. Normally, when I get sore, I can leave work early and lay down before it gets bad, but having to train the new girl has meant that I've lost my job flexibility and have to force myself to push through it... but then the pain accumulates and just gets worse. So, by Wed last week, DH noticed that I was sore and stressed.  For the rest of the week, I came home and DH had dinner made, or was in the process of cooking.  He cleaned up the house.  He was super awesome. 

ShesSoCold

My H has been working 60+ hours a week to help get us back on our saving track so I've been doing all of the cooking and 99% of the cleaning, which is totally fine.

What's annoying is that he's not doing the few things that I ask him to, but he can do other stuff that's fun. He didn't have time to take the dog to get her nails did yesterday or fold his laundry (I've been doing his laundry but I HATE putting it away), but he went to breakfast with a friend and had people over for the Bears game. I get that he shouldn't have to be all work all the time but I've been asking very little of him and he's not doing any of it.  

lyndausvi

DH is really sucking up to me.  He agreed to take me to the nursery to pick out some Christmas stuff.   (apparently the store is only open monday-friday 9-5).    He hates that kind of stuff.  Umm.

kimmiinthemitten

thefanciestbeckler said:

luckya23 said:

I'm definitely annoying my DH lately WAY more than he is annoying me.  Christmas sales have me going nuts, and he isn't too happy about the money leaving or the things coming into the house.

So much this. We went shopping for decorations last night since it's our first Christmas in our new house/being married, and I felt like I had Ebenezer Scrooge with me!

ETF words

This was us last year; ugh I wanted to kill him.  

I was out of town last week for work and came home to a clean house, fresh sheets, an organized laundry room.  But then today, I bit it hard on the fresh layer of ice on our driveway from his sorry excuse for shoveling!  I was not pleased!

drunkenwitch

BF completely dropped the ball on my 40th birthday and I had to scramble at the last minute to put together the party he said he was throwing for me with all these grand promises.  He didn't even get me a birthday cake.  I had to go buy cupcakes at the 11th hour so there would be some sort of dessert.  This was the final straw in an ongoing pattern (I thought he would at the very least get it together for my fucking birthday)

I told how hurt I was, that I was feeling neglected and taken for granted and he promised to make it up to me.  A month ago.  Nothing. Zilch. Nada.  Nothing has changed and he hasn't made any effort to make it up to me.  And he wonders why I 'm not in the mood for sex.

thisismynickname2

To make a long story short, I had tons to do in order to prepare to have my family over for an early Thanksgiving. I asked him for very minor things and he got all cranky about it. Ugh! But a venting phone call to my best friend made me feel better. Thanksgiving was a success and he cleaned up without being asked. All's well now.
And I found a really amazing wine and am looking forward to drinking it all.

indigo26

Hmm... well I'm sick of FI coming in almost every other night and complaining about the house not being clean enough. Yes, I know he's pulling overtime and his knee is giving him problems again to the point that he's limping when he comes home and that all he wants to do is sit on the couch with a beer. However I work a full time job too, am tired and sore when I come home, and I still find the energy to cook, do dishes, fold laundry, and take care of all three cats. If he's too tired and sore to help, then stop whining ffs! I know we need to vacuum and dust and I'll get to it when I give a crap about it.

STARMOON44

princessleia22 said:

thefanciestbeckler said:

My husband has been sooooooo cranky lately. Everything is getting on his nerves. He has decided that his job is ruining his life (??) because we don't have the same off days. But he gets off at 2 pm every day, so we still spend every evening together as well as weekend afternoons. Talk about melodramatic. He's acting like a teenage girl!!

What are your H/FI/SO rants these days?

My only DH complaint/vent right now is that his slight gambling addiction is resurfacing lately. We both have a tendency to get drawn to casinos and have both had issues in the past where it got out of hand (before we met).  We also both have parents that are functional gambling addicts (they gamble regularly, but are good at limiting spending).  We both decided long ago that it wasn't worth it to gamble regularly and are pretty good keeping it in check. But, if we go once (which we do on occasion), we start feeling the draw to continue. A couple weeks ago we went to Laughlin for the weekend.  Then last week, while doing laundry I found a slip from the local casino (he didn't bother cashing in his $0.12).  I complained to him about going to the casino (mainly because I know the tendency we both have to get dragged into it the habit after going once).  So, then the last week or so, he's been buying a lot of lottery tickets.  Some regular lottery and some scratcher tickets. On Friday, he bought 5 scratchers, won $10, so bought 10 more tickets, won $25, so bought 25 lotto tickets.  He's not spending a lot of money gambling ($10-20 on tickets isn't much), but it's the repeating gambling trend that is forming that is concerning me.  I mentioned it to him last night and he acknowledged it and says he will cut back or stop.  But, we go through this every time we gamble.  It turns into a week or two of repeated small scale gambling, then we catch ourselves before it gets out of hand and stop.  This time, after Laughlin, I've felt the pull, but I've done very good at denying the urges.  

But on the other hand, the past week has been tough on me.  I hired a new employee (we previously had just me and my business partner), so I'm stuck trying to do my own work and train her.  And I feel like I'm getting nothing done and stressed out.  And my back has been killing me all week, so I've come home and instantly want to just lay on a heating pad. Normally, when I get sore, I can leave work early and lay down before it gets bad, but having to train the new girl has meant that I've lost my job flexibility and have to force myself to push through it... but then the pain accumulates and just gets worse. So, by Wed last week, DH noticed that I was sore and stressed.  For the rest of the week, I came home and DH had dinner made, or was in the process of cooking.  He cleaned up the house.  He was super awesome. 




Do you mind my asking why you ever gamble at all? This sounds like a pair of alcoholics in recovery who know that one drink leads to more always, but keep putting themselves in harms way by having that one.

RomanceManaged

This thread came at the perfect time. FI and i just had this stupid blow out last night.

My day starts at 10, when the kiddo gets up, gets breakfast, and gets ready for school. Shortly after that I get ready and go to work and I am gone until about midnight. FI works until 5, and this last weekend cashed in some PTO time for a 4 day weekend.

Well. I came home last night to a filthy house ( think febreeze commercial. ..), kiddos homework still in his bookbag, a PLATE with ashes and cigarette butts (we do NOT smoke in the house. Ever. ), and about five loads of laundry scattered everywhere. And my lovely FI on his desktop playing his new game. Which is where he was when i left ten hours prior.
I hit the fucking roof.

Growing up he was very lucky to have a maid, and i absolutely am not talking down on anyone who has one, but sometimes he mistakes me for Ms. Jones and expects me to follow him with a broom and dust pan.

Needless to say i came home today to a spotless house, and lots of hugs, kisses, and the affirmation that i am appreciated and most certainly not a maid.

peachy13

DH likes Trump.

ericasm0703

peachy13 said:

DH likes Trump.

Same with my FI. I don't really have much to complain about though. With the exception of almost setting the kitchen on fire last night from leaving the potholder on the stove, he's been pretty great.

kimmiinthemitten

ericasm0703 said:

peachy13 said:

DH likes Trump.

Same with my FI. I don't really have much to complain about though. With the exception of almost setting the kitchen on fire last night from leaving the potholder on the stove, he's been pretty great.

lyndausvi

This morning I remember something that DH did on Sunday.       DH doesn't yell at me (other people, but never me), but when he is trying to make a point his tone changes.  The average person would laugh that his his "yell", but I understand the tone.

Anyway his "mad" tone came out on Sunday about his meds.  He is wondering what I did with his meds he just picked up and left by the sink.   I said I never throw away meds, so if they are not in the sink I must have, you know, put them away in the nice baskets I bought for that kind of stuff.    We looked around, nothing.  He is getting more and more frustrated and in convinced I was the one who threw them away.     Grr.

Later in the day we go to the pharmacy because he really needs these meds.    He actually tells  the pharmacist that I was the one who threw them away and asked how he can get new ones.   WTF dude.  I DID NOT and just walked away.    
He comes down the aisle I'm in  laughing, holding up the bag of meds and yelling (a real yell)  "Lyn, Lyn.... ha   I NEVER PICKED THEM UP".

GRRR.  So for the last few hours you were blaming me for losing your meds and the whole time you never even picked them up????

Asshole.

ShesSoCold

It's my birthday. My husband called me at work to wish me a happy birthday and, naturally, since I was assuming this was a conversation, I responded and began talking. He clearly wasn't listening to a thing I said and after I asked him a question he goes, "Okay, well, I'll see you at home later".

Thanks, guy. I've told him 1,000 throughout the years that if he does not have time to give me attention at work, do. not. fucking. call me. So irritating.

cupcait927

@ShesSoCold Happy birthday! Today is my birthday as well!

MissKittyDanger

@ShesSoCold  happy birthday!

MissKittyDanger

Urg .... H has been driving me nuts and then just grates on my last nerve when he bitches I'm nagging.

Many days I feel like I do everything and he does fuck all. I tried to give some leeway, but when you ask someone to do something for a week and still not done. Shit gets bad.

Last night we kinda got into an argument at like 10pm .... he was making chicken salad to have a sandwich. I asked him to make lunches with leftover chicken salad for both of us. He. Can't. Do. It. More like he didn't want to. So I basically snapped ... reminding him I've asked him 2 things to do recently. Neither are done and it's fucking irritating.
He bitches I nag, but I respond with "I wouldn't have to nag if you did things when I ask you at the beginning and not wait almost 3 days!"
Claims I don't notice when he does stuff - which he doesn't do much, and really what am I suppose to do? Bow down when he does something? "Oh thank you H for doing something so I don't fucking have to!"

I swear .... this is the ONLY argument we have and it feels like it pops up every couple months!

ShesSoCold

Thanks ladies!! Happy birthday to you too @cupcait927!!!

madamerwin

Happy birthday @ShesSoCold and @cupcait927 !!!