sister going through marriage trouble -- how to avoid conflict?

SP29

Unless he is a risk to your sister or other guests, I would invite him.

My personal thoughts on this are that when you have someone involved in such a situation, you are likely to alienate her from your family by not inviting him. It sounds like your sister needs all the support she can get from her family and close friends.

holyguacamole79

mntravelingmama said:

None of this really has anything to do with your wedding and will unlikely affect your wedding day.  Talk with your sister as to how you can best support her. Regardless of your feelings toward her husband, put her and her children first. 

Qft

ernursej

If there is abuse happening (doesn't just have to be physical ...) it often takes 7 tries to leave that situation. Most abusers won't do anything in public. If there is a chance that not inviting the husband would cause your sister to not come to the wedding, I would encourage you to extend an invitation to both of them so that she may come to the wedding and at least that period of time will be public.

Continue to offer your unconditional support, encouragement and love to your sister.

thefanciestbeckler

@OurWildKingdom - All I have to say is you always nail it when it comes to wording advice in an eloquent, truthful, compassionate manner. 

OurWildKingdom

thefanciestbeckler said:

@OurWildKingdom - All I have to say is you always nail it when it comes to wording advice in an eloquent, truthful, compassionate manner. 

Thank you, @thefanciestbeckler. You made my night. 

CMGragain

You cannot control what someone else might do.  Stop trying.

When I was married, both my sister and my mother were going through ugly divorces.  Neither of them were interested in my upcoming marriage.  Two days before the wedding, my sister reconciled with her husband (Big mistake!).  She asked if he could come to the wedding.  I told her that if he could come drug free, I was OK with it.  (He was high, anyway.)  Mom wanted to ask her ex-husbands/ex-fiances/ex-boyfriends.  I told her that they could not be invited without their current wives, so she changed her mind.
Lots of us have difficult families.  All you can do is to treat everybody - even turdball relatives - with common courtesy, and realize that if they don't behave, it is on them, not you.