OK I have to vent about this debacle I am witnessing unfold.
So the bride is a relative of mine and I've got a front-row seat to all of this. The wedding is coming up next month & I'm honestly wondering if it's going to fall apart before the date hits. So here's the rundown:
Bride and her FI have been engaged for YEARS and have talked about getting married for a long time. You would think that over the course of those years they'd save up money, right? Wrong. They haven't saved a cent and are banking on doing things as cheaply as possible.
No paid photographer ("We were thinking everyone has smartphones nowadays anyway, our guests can take all the photos!"), no catering (there's an open fire pit and some picnic tables.. for a WEEKEND destination wedding with no refrigeration or electricity), a friend is voluntarily officiating, another friend is gifting the wedding cake, the invitations were generic freebies printed online & and contained no personal information on them (as in, mine didn't have my name OR my SO's name on the RSVP at all and the outer envelope was only addressed to me)/hardly any details about the event itself. They looked like those punch-out elementary school cardstock valentines.
They're holding the ceremony outdoors in the middle of a public park. They wanted it to be held at a small "historic viewpoint" at the top of a narrow trail that you have to hike 20 minutes from the parking lot to get to, with ZERO seating, in an area that cannot be reserved for private events & is a major tourist landmark in the area, on a summer weekend. They found out after they'd already sent out the invites that groups of 10 or more are not permitted at all so now they're just going to hold the ceremony down at the open recreational area.
Bride complained about this because "it's not as pretty" and said they were toying with the idea of having a SECRET CEREMONY up at the viewpoint the night before with just themselves, a few select friends, and the officiant before everyone showed up for their destination weekend wedding 4 hours away from civilization and plumbing. I told her to be prepared for decades of resentment if their guests found out but I have a feeling she might try it anyway.
She also said they purposefully picked the location to deter RSVPs from family members that they didn't actually want to show up but were being "forced" to invite.
She got upset when I said I was planning on arriving the morning of the wedding (it isn't until early evening Saturday). She wanted me to take the day off from work on Friday so I could drive all the way down there "for fun!" And also free help with camp setup.
Bride constantly makes fun of/criticizes people behind their backs that are actually showing up to this thing for a) their choice of clothes if anyone dared suggest wearing something semi/formal to a wedding b) being worried about the location c) politely suggesting that she and her FI aren't prepared enough and offering to help.
Edited to add: On the clothes front... her gown is green with a white lace panel & she graciously told me I was "allowed" to wear green if I wanted to but then followed it up with "but you're not planning on wearing like, HEELS or anything, right?"
She may not have an officiant at ALL because her "best friend" who volunteered for the job lives multiple states away and is going through a huge life crisis at the moment. Officiant has indicated that she currently doesn't even have a place to live and to come to the wedding she would have to travel out of state, leaving her own husband behind to deal with their own stuff, and come to this thing on her own limited income. Bride says she "doesn't understand why any of that would interfere with her coming out for this wedding."
Finally: Honeyfund registry only.