Etiquette

Kids@ the wedding dilemma

hello all,

so I decided I do not want kids under 18 at the wedding. I would like to have FH niece who is 5 and will be 6 for the wedding. The problem arises because the parents are having a second child and I do not want infants at the wedding. Is there a proper way to address this?

thank you

Re: Kids@ the wedding dilemma

  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    You won't even notice the infant, who will probably sleep most of the time, at the wedding. Just let him come; it'd be rude not to. 
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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    PrettyGirlLostDrillSergeantCatMesmrEweOurWildKingdom
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    I think that if you don't want the infant there, I would declare the whole event adults-only (just not on the invitations) and not invite any children. A completely no-children event will go over far better (and be polite) than inviting the older child and not the infant.
    PrettyGirlLostOurWildKingdom
  • How old will the infant be by the time of your wedding? I've been to a few weddings with tiny babies and barely noticed them. The parents may also choose to have a babysitter for just the infant OR bring none of their kids. 
    OurWildKingdom
  • The six-year old also won't have anyone to play with or spend time with during the wedding. 
    PrettyGirlLostsparklepants41OurWildKingdom
  • What @banana468 and others said!  It's an "All or nothing" invite, never break up families.  Honestly, if I was still in the EP phase with a LO, sucks to not be there, but nope, not going to your wedding because it's a shi**y thing to do to a sibling.  And 20 minutes to pump - try 45-50 for the slow letdown producers in the crowd.  

    Another thought - These are your your/FI's siblings' kids (Your nieces & nephews, not random fourth cousin removed), invite them.  It's not worth the drama this will likely create within the core family nor asking a FSIL/FBIL to make the choice to stay home or attend their sibling's wedding (each parent decides when they're comfortable leaving the child with a sitter outside of family since all their family options will likely be at the wedding).  
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    MairePoppySP29OurWildKingdom
  • hello all sorry for the delayed response.  I had trouble trying to locate my original post ..as crazy as that sounds.

    I agree that it is an all or nothing type of situation. I appreciate everyone's response! We are still undecided at this point if we are going to have a flower girl.

    thanks all!
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