Moms and Maids

Public Service Announcement: Matching underwear is not an appropriate bridesmaid gift

Bridal party gifts are to thank your bridal party for being in your wedding. They’re gifts for them, not for you. The typical advice for on this forum is to shop for your wedding party like you would for their birthdays.

If you want to give the wedding party matching things because they’ll look cute in pictures, know that these are photo props and not gifts. Underwear is not an appropriate photo prop because it should not be visible in photos. Asking your bridesmaids to take “funny” pictures where their underwear shows is not OK.

If, for some reason, all of your wedding party members love receiving underwear as a gift and that is what you would buy each of them for their birthdays, please ensure the following:

  1. It does not say “bridesmaid” or anything wedding-related on it.
  2. It’s the right size.
  3. It’s the preferred style of the recipient.
  4. You give it in private, so the recipient does not have to open underwear in front of others, which could be uncomfortable.
  5. You include a receipt.

Obviously, the easiest solution is not to give underwear as a gift. This will prevent your bridesmaids from being like me and having no way to return their “gift” of brand-new underwear that is not their size or style.

"Marriage is so disruptive to one's social circle." - Mr. Woodhouse
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Re: Public Service Announcement: Matching underwear is not an appropriate bridesmaid gift

  • MairePoppyMairePoppy Connecticut
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    Hear, hear!

    I know there's a back story, but I'm afraid to ask.
                
    adk19
  • CMGragainCMGragain
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    I hope it wasn't thongs.
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
    MesmrEwe
  • lovesclimbinglovesclimbing Alaska
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    :o  I was expecting an article link. This actually happened to you?! You can't just leave us hanging!

    MesmrEweshort+sassy
  • LondonLisaLondonLisa London, UK
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    I am also incredibly intrigued. I really hope this didn't happen to you!
    charlotte989875SP29MesmrEwesparklepants41
  • HeffalumpHeffalump
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    Wait...are you saying that you don't want underwear that says "bridesmaid," let alone photos of you in it???

    TrixieJesscharlotte989875cupcait927

  • MobKaz said:





    Bridal party gifts are to thank your bridal party for being in your wedding. They’re gifts for them, not for you. The typical advice for on this forum is to shop for your wedding party like you would for their birthdays.



    If you want to give the wedding party matching things because they’ll look cute in pictures, know that these are photo props and not gifts. Underwear is not an appropriate photo prop because it should not be visible in photos. Asking your bridesmaids to take “funny” pictures where their underwear shows is not OK.



    If, for some reason, all of your wedding party members love receiving underwear as a gift and that is what you would buy each of them for their birthdays, please ensure the following:



    1. It does not say “bridesmaid” or anything wedding-related on it.
    2. It’s the right size.
    3. It’s the preferred style of the recipient.
    4. You give it in private, so the recipient does not have to open underwear in front of others, which could be uncomfortable.
    5. You include a receipt.


    Obviously, the easiest solution is not to give underwear as a gift. This will prevent your bridesmaids from being like me and having no way to return their “gift” of brand-new underwear that is not their size or style.





    I am sorry to hear this bride was not thoughtful.  Perhaps she should have taken her cue from this more considerate bride, who considered individual taste and sizes......




    I'm actually very impressed that the woman wearing the floral print dress appears to have been given floral print underwear.  Now THAT's a thoughtful bride!  (It was hard to write that with a straight face).
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    MobKazthisismynickname2
  • eileenrobeileenrob
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    edited May 23
    This has always been my least favorite  :s


  • MobKazMobKaz Chicago suburbs
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    Dear Lord......it frightens me to realize there are so many people that find this "cute", "original", or appropriate.....I'm ill thinking about how many more honest-to-goodness-real-life idiots brides found this necessary, and the number of spineless friends that could not refuse to participate!  Involving the younger girl in the first picture.......rage!



  • eileenrobeileenrob
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    MobKaz said:

    Dear Lord......it frightens me to realize there are so many people that find this "cute", "original", or appropriate.....I'm ill thinking about how many more honest-to-goodness-real-life idiots brides found this necessary, and the number of spineless friends that could not refuse to participate!  Involving the younger girl in the first picture.......rage!





    Yikes the little girl!!  :o  and man the first and third brides are cop outs!  You're making your best friends do something like that but you don't join them?!  Messed up!
    MobKazInLoveInQueenscharlotte989875
  • ILoveBeachMusicILoveBeachMusic Indiana
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    This is so wrong!I would refuse to participate as a bridesmaid. This is right up there with the groom sticking his head up the bride's dress when going for the garter - eewww!

    CMGragainsparklepants41
  • Fortunately, my bride did not ask us to take gross photographs, but I felt the need to include it in my PSA. She did, however, give each of us matching underwear sans receipt as part of our gifts. Mine were neither my size nor my style, but some of the other bridesmaids seemed to really appreciate them; one told me she would have forgotten to wear underwear otherwise.
    "Marriage is so disruptive to one's social circle." - Mr. Woodhouse
  • CMGragainCMGragain
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    edited May 24
    Imagine the family get together in 40 years, or so, when the grandkids see those pictures! :D  "Nana!  Is that YOU????"
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
  • TrixieJessTrixieJess
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    edited May 24


    banana468 said:








    Fortunately, my bride did not ask us to take gross photographs, but I felt the need to include it in my PSA. She did, however, give each of us matching underwear sans receipt as part of our gifts. Mine were neither my size nor my style, but some of the other bridesmaids seemed to really appreciate them; one told me she would have forgotten to wear underwear otherwise.






    What??

    How can you be a grown adult and forget to put on underwear??   My 6 year old remembers to do it and she routinely forgets to turn off the water.   




    To be fair, I have forgotten pants on busy mornings. Or put on a dress or skirt and forgotten underwear. Mornings are hectic and I'm always tired.

    PS these are times I'm eternally grateful for FI.
  • LondonLisaLondonLisa London, UK
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    edited May 24











    banana468 said:

















    Fortunately, my bride did not ask us to take gross photographs, but I felt the need to include it in my PSA. She did, however, give each of us matching underwear sans receipt as part of our gifts. Mine were neither my size nor my style, but some of the other bridesmaids seemed to really appreciate them; one told me she would have forgotten to wear underwear otherwise.












    What??

    How can you be a grown adult and forget to put on underwear??   My 6 year old remembers to do it and she routinely forgets to turn off the water.   










    To be fair, I have forgotten pants on busy mornings. Or put on a dress or skirt and forgotten underwear. Mornings are hectic and I'm always tired.

    PS these are times I'm eternally grateful for FI.






    My husband got back one saturday from walking around all morning to do our weekly food shop, picked up a coffee and dropped off his dry cleaning wearing slippers. 

    ETA: you also KNOW if it says bridesmaid on it (especially in diamante), it is going to be that super cheap polyester sateen kind that are just so uncomfortable and unwearable. Just the cheap kind of knickers that seem flammable. 
    thisismynickname2DrillSergeantCat
  • atomicblondeatomicblonde The Shire
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    banana468 said:











    Fortunately, my bride did not ask us to take gross photographs, but I felt the need to include it in my PSA. She did, however, give each of us matching underwear sans receipt as part of our gifts. Mine were neither my size nor my style, but some of the other bridesmaids seemed to really appreciate them; one told me she would have forgotten to wear underwear otherwise.








    What??

    How can you be a grown adult and forget to put on underwear??   My 6 year old remembers to do it and she routinely forgets to turn off the water.   






    To be fair, I have forgotten pants on busy mornings. Or put on a dress or skirt and forgotten underwear. Mornings are hectic and I'm always tired.

    PS these are times I'm eternally grateful for FI.



    I forgot to put on a bra once last year. It was at least noon before I even realized. That was a bad Wednesday.  I can't even blame the morning. 

    I also once went on work travel for a week and forgot to pack panties.


    "And when they use our atoms to make new lives, they won’t just be able to take one, they’ll have to take two, one of you and one of me..."
    --Philip Pullman

    charlotte989875
  • thisismynickname2thisismynickname2 City By The Lake
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    banana468 said:














    Fortunately, my bride did not ask us to take gross photographs, but I felt the need to include it in my PSA. She did, however, give each of us matching underwear sans receipt as part of our gifts. Mine were neither my size nor my style, but some of the other bridesmaids seemed to really appreciate them; one told me she would have forgotten to wear underwear otherwise.










    What??

    How can you be a grown adult and forget to put on underwear??   My 6 year old remembers to do it and she routinely forgets to turn off the water.   








    To be fair, I have forgotten pants on busy mornings. Or put on a dress or skirt and forgotten underwear. Mornings are hectic and I'm always tired.

    PS these are times I'm eternally grateful for FI.





    I forgot to put on a bra once last year. It was at least noon before I even realized. That was a bad Wednesday.  I can't even blame the morning. 

    I also once went on work travel for a week and forgot to pack panties.


    Yup, I forgot underwear when going on a week-long vacation too. Had to dash to a local market. And that was after an overnight flight. 

    But yeah, underwear as a bridesmaid gift AND in the wrong size? Tackkyyyy
    ________________________________


    short+sassy
  • justsiejustsie
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    I forgot to put on a bra once last year. It was at least noon before I even realized. That was a bad Wednesday.  I can't even blame the morning. 

    I also once went on work travel for a week and forgot to pack panties.


    A friend of mine did this too. Went home for winter break and left all her underwear/bras at the apartment. I had to ship them to her. 
    image
  • Rule of thumb: if it has the person's role in the wedding emblazoned across the butt, you might want to keep shopping! 
    image
    charlotte989875geebee908
















  • banana468 said:




















    Fortunately, my bride did not ask us to take gross photographs, but I felt the need to include it in my PSA. She did, however, give each of us matching underwear sans receipt as part of our gifts. Mine were neither my size nor my style, but some of the other bridesmaids seemed to really appreciate them; one told me she would have forgotten to wear underwear otherwise.














    What??

    How can you be a grown adult and forget to put on underwear??   My 6 year old remembers to do it and she routinely forgets to turn off the water.   












    To be fair, I have forgotten pants on busy mornings. Or put on a dress or skirt and forgotten underwear. Mornings are hectic and I'm always tired.

    PS these are times I'm eternally grateful for FI.








    My husband got back one saturday from walking around all morning to do our weekly food shop, picked up a coffee and dropped off his dry cleaning wearing slippers. 

    ETA: you also KNOW if it says bridesmaid on it (especially in diamante), it is going to be that super cheap polyester sateen kind that are just so uncomfortable and unwearable. Just the cheap kind of knickers that seem flammable. 


    The bolded seems like a great but cheesy way to pick up a hot firefighter. 
    MissKittyDangerOurWildKingdom
  • missfrodomissfrodo
    Seventh Anniversary 500 Love Its 500 Comments Name Dropper
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    Is that going to be the next big Pinterest thing?  Bridesmaids with flaming butts?
    MissKittyDangerOurWildKingdom




  • banana468 said:


    Fortunately, my bride did not ask us to take gross photographs, but I felt the need to include it in my PSA. She did, however, give each of us matching underwear sans receipt as part of our gifts. Mine were neither my size nor my style, but some of the other bridesmaids seemed to really appreciate them; one told me she would have forgotten to wear underwear otherwise.

    What??

    How can you be a grown adult and forget to put on underwear??   My 6 year old remembers to do it and she routinely forgets to turn off the water.  


    To be fair, I have forgotten pants on busy mornings. Or put on a dress or skirt and forgotten underwear. Mornings are hectic and I'm always tired.

    PS these are times I'm eternally grateful for FI.

    My husband got back one saturday from walking around all morning to do our weekly food shop, picked up a coffee and dropped off his dry cleaning wearing slippers. 

    ETA: you also KNOW if it says bridesmaid on it (especially in diamante), it is going to be that super cheap polyester sateen kind that are just so uncomfortable and unwearable. Just the cheap kind of knickers that seem flammable. 




    The bolded seems like a great but cheesy way to pick up a hot firefighter. 


    If the bride is marrying a firefighter, he may have good looking coworkers ;)
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    sparklepants41OurWildKingdom
  • OurWildKingdomOurWildKingdom in the 216
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    banana468 said:


























    Fortunately, my bride did not ask us to take gross photographs, but I felt the need to include it in my PSA. She did, however, give each of us matching underwear sans receipt as part of our gifts. Mine were neither my size nor my style, but some of the other bridesmaids seemed to really appreciate them; one told me she would have forgotten to wear underwear otherwise.


















    What??

    How can you be a grown adult and forget to put on underwear??   My 6 year old remembers to do it and she routinely forgets to turn off the water.   
















    To be fair, I have forgotten pants on busy mornings. Or put on a dress or skirt and forgotten underwear. Mornings are hectic and I'm always tired.

    PS these are times I'm eternally grateful for FI.












    My husband got back one saturday from walking around all morning to do our weekly food shop, picked up a coffee and dropped off his dry cleaning wearing slippers. 

    ETA: you also KNOW if it says bridesmaid on it (especially in diamante), it is going to be that super cheap polyester sateen kind that are just so uncomfortable and unwearable. Just the cheap kind of knickers that seem flammable. 






    The bolded seems like a great but cheesy way to pick up a hot firefighter. 




    Why does this make me think of that one Friends episode where Phoebe, Rachel and Monica are burning their ex's stuff and the hot firefighters have to come and put it out? I think at least one of them was burning an ex's boxers.


    Yep, I think it was Rachel. And they poured grappa over everything before they set it on fire.
    ahoyweddingshort+sassycharlotte989875
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