Wedding Party

17 mo old flower girl.

2

Re: 17 mo old flower girl.

  • CMGragainCMGragain
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    edited July 19
    I, too, answered you on your other post.  You need to think about the children's needs FIRST, not how cute the pictures will look.  It can be very stressful for very young children to be in front of a large crowd of strangers.  Most churches will not allow children under the age of three to be in the wedding party, partly for those reasons.  As a retired church organist, I have seen quite a few wedding grind to a screeching halt because the young child in the procession became over stressed and had a meltdown in the middle of the aisle.  It was NOT cute, and I felt sorry for the poor children who were made to do that.  One ring bearer was so stressed that he threw up on the bride's dress, right in front of the whole church.  Poor kid was humiliated.
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  • CMGragainCMGragain
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    edited July 19
    Sorry....maybe I didn't make it clear....I, me, the bride, want a flower girl or ring bearer. Yes my mom and grandma do as well but ME 1/2 the reason for the wedding wants a flower girl and ring bearer for the wedding. Personally 
    I don't give 2 shits if she lays down and screams bloody murder at the back of the church. She's a freaking baby she's not going to do what anyone tells her. I GET THAT. 
    Let me re-ask my question in a way that might get me a helpful answer. 

    1. Should her mom/MOH carry her down the aisle NO!
    2. Should her dad carry her down the aisle NO!
    3. should we put her in a wagon and have someone pull her down the aisle. NO!
    4. should i let her get down the aisle however she damn well pleases NO!!!!!


    How incredibly selfish.  It's YOUR DAY!!!!, so you get whatever you want.  Never mind how other people feel.  Who cares how the child feels? It is all about what YOU, THE BRIDE, wants!
    All I am getting from your posts is what YOU WANT at your wedding.  Once you invite other people, the wedding becomes about their want and needs, too, not just yours.  Grow up.
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    DrillSergeantCatInLoveInQueens
  • holyguacamole79holyguacamole79 a taco truck in Houston
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    Forget the original question...clearly it was WAY to confusing for some of you...

    Hello,

    So I had always dreamed of having a family member as my flower girl and ring bearer. When my cousin had a boy who even at 26 hours old was cute enough to be a baby model I was determined to get engaged by the time he was of age to be a ring bearer. I was the ONLY person at family functions (besides his parents) that could hold him without him crying.

    Then a few years later she had a girl. Who was equally adorable at 23 hours old!! I was so honored to see them both in the hospital I knew that if I got engaged by the time they were old enough they would for sure be my FG and RB.

    Now that I'm engaged and the wedding date is set. They are of perfect age!! He will be 5 and she will be 3. What's even more adorable is everywhere they go they have to hold hands!! So adorable!

    I wish we got to see each other more than 5 times a year but thank goodness for facebook!!

    Unfortunately their parents MIGHT be getting divorced...should I still ask these kids who I had always and the entire family had always dreamed of to be in my wedding?

    Or should I ask my MOH's daughter who would only be 17 months old...but so far she's been at every wedding event/planning/shopping meeting and has been an angel every time and always lights up when she see's my face.

    I really don't know which of these to have? What do you think?

    or should I have both since I love both of them dearly.


    The bolded sounds like you want this child in your wedding as a cute prop.   When my goddaughter was born and I got to meet her,  it NEVER crossed my mind to have her as a flower girl.  I was just so happy to hold her.   (Fwiw, she was not able to attend our wedding as her family lives out of state and traveling with small children to our wedding was not feasible. 



    Anniversary
    DrillSergeantCatInLoveInQueens
  • I'm curious about all of these "wedding planning meetings" the 17-month-old has attended.  You know WP members only requirement is to wear the agreed upon attire and stand next to you during the ceremony and for photos, right? 
    DrillSergeantCatahoyweddingInLoveInQueens
  • ILoveBeachMusicILoveBeachMusic Indiana
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    Also to tag onto @CMGragain, the church/venue might not allow a wagon to be pulled with a baby in it. You would need to check on that. As regards to the picture, that is a baby that could possibly roll over and pull herself up on the wagon. A toddler (17 mo.old) will most likely be walking on their own so trying to keep them in a wagon would be even more problematic.
    CMGragainDrillSergeantCat
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston
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    17 months old is too young to be a flower girl or ring bearer. Ideally, a kid doing one of these things should be 3 or older, can get up and down the aisle under their own power without being carried or pulled in a wagon (this I would not do for safety reasons), and has some idea of what they're being asked to do. 

    But you could ask older kids.

    But -- don't do it because they're "cute." Only ask them (their parents) if 1) you're really close to them (and their parents), and 2) your ceremony venue allows it. Some congregations do not.
    CMGragainahoyweddingInLoveInQueens
  • Sure whatever. Just put her in a cute dress and ask her mom or dad to carry her down the aisle. 
    Casadenaaugustgirl21InLoveInQueens
  • 1. Maybe my original post was unclear. Obviously it was. I want either my cousins who my entire family envisioned as my FG or RB or my best friends daughter. The answer I got was "dont have kids in your wedding." 
    To put this in a different subject matter...try to follow along small minded people it's call an analogy....say I asked "Should I have nachos or pizza for dinner" I got the answer "you should not eat." And then "you dont have to eat it's okay to skip a meal" 
    My reply to all this was "No I'm eating because I have pizza and tacos but I can't eat both. If I have pizza how should I cook it?" 
    Again I got "you shouldn't eat because it sounds like you don't love either enough and having a whole pizza is not appropriate" 

    You (hopefully) see where I'm going. I asked A or B and got an answer of C. 

    REGARDLESS this is all pointless now since I asked my cousins and they would be honored to have their kids in my wedding. They'd been waiting for me to ask. They will figure out the divorce/issues on their own and said it is not mine or the kids problem to worry about. 

    Btw...I snapped because I got/felt snapped at. My MOH said I handled this NICELY. She was begging to get on and bitch you all out. I'm not going to say you're all wrong but...everyone else I've asked/showed this too disagrees with you...
    Everyone is entitled to their opinions...but insinuating I don't care about my cousins or worse only care about their looks is where the line gets crossed. Y'all took my words and twisted them. You wanna do that go to Facebook and politics. Not a forum that I thought was a safe place to ask for opinions. 

     

  • holyguacamole79holyguacamole79 a taco truck in Houston
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    1. Maybe my original post was unclear. Obviously it was. I want either my cousins who my entire family envisioned as my FG or RB or my best friends daughter. The answer I got was "dont have kids in your wedding." 
    To put this in a different subject matter...try to follow along small minded people it's call an analogy....say I asked "Should I have nachos or pizza for dinner" I got the answer "you should not eat." And then "you dont have to eat it's okay to skip a meal" 
    My reply to all this was "No I'm eating because I have pizza and tacos but I can't eat both. If I have pizza how should I cook it?" 
    Again I got "you shouldn't eat because it sounds like you don't love either enough and having a whole pizza is not appropriate" 

    You (hopefully) see where I'm going. I asked A or B and got an answer of C. 

    REGARDLESS this is all pointless now since I asked my cousins and they would be honored to have their kids in my wedding. They'd been waiting for me to ask. They will figure out the divorce/issues on their own and said it is not mine or the kids problem to worry about. 

    Btw...I snapped because I got/felt snapped at. My MOH said I handled this NICELY. She was begging to get on and bitch you all out. I'm not going to say you're all wrong but...everyone else I've asked/showed this too disagrees with you...
    Everyone is entitled to their opinions...but insinuating I don't care about my cousins or worse only care about their looks is where the line gets crossed. Y'all took my words and twisted them. You wanna do that go to Facebook and politics. Not a forum that I thought was a safe place to ask for opinions. 
    Here's your original post. 

    When you said that your original plan was to have the cousins,  it implies that you had since abandoned that idea.   

    The questions you asked at the end had nothing to do with the cousins, but how to proceed with the 17 month old (heck,  that was the title and the focus of your post!)  

    So, this whole discussion has had me all


    I'm glad to hear that you have sorted it out nicely with these cousins and that you're able to use them in your wedding (after all,  that's what you thought when they were born,  right?)

    All the best!



    Anniversary
    geebee908InLoveInQueenssparklepants41
  • @eileenrob I asked my MOH if she (not the baby) would LIKE to go dress shopping with me. If she would LIKE to come check out venues with me. If she would LIKE to come to the florist (that she recommended even) with me. She brought her daughter without me knowing/asking. My MOH WANTS to be super involved. That's one of the reasons I picked her cuz she's awesome at getting things done and dealing with issues that arise. (And just awesome in geneal :smile:

     

  • Not that I need to respond to yall but my fiancé finds y'all hilarious and wants me to keep the convo going so here goes...
    Let me put it this way....
    I don't give 2 shit's if the kids are uglier than dirt. THATS NOT THE REASON I WANT THEM IN THE WEDDING. what part of that yall can't seem to get I don't know. Oh wait I know because I MENTIONED they were cute. My bad. They're ugly as shit but I love them and want them in wedding regardless. Better?? 

    Like I said this is all pointless because the originally planned FG and RB parents agreed. 

     

  • @flantastic please explain how having my cousins in my wedding is inappropriate?? 
    Cuz I think they're cute?? Not the reason I picked them and I never said it was. I said they were cute. I didn't say it was the reason. 

     

  • Not that I need to respond to yall but my fiancé finds y'all hilarious and wants me to keep the convo going so here goes...
    Let me put it this way....
    I don't give 2 shit's if the kids are uglier than dirt. THATS NOT THE REASON I WANT THEM IN THE WEDDING. what part of that yall can't seem to get I don't know. Oh wait I know because I MENTIONED they were cute. My bad. They're ugly as shit but I love them and want them in wedding regardless. Better?? 

    Like I said this is all pointless because the originally planned FG and RB parents agreed. 
    @flantastic please explain how having my cousins in my wedding is inappropriate?? 
    Cuz I think they're cute?? Not the reason I picked them and I never said it was. I said they were cute. I didn't say it was the reason. 
    JIC
    InLoveInQueens
  • holyguacamole79holyguacamole79 a taco truck in Houston
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    Not that I need to respond to yall but my fiancé finds y'all hilarious and wants me to keep the convo going so here goes...
    Let me put it this way....
    I don't give 2 shit's if the kids are uglier than dirt. THATS NOT THE REASON I WANT THEM IN THE WEDDING. what part of that yall can't seem to get I don't know. Oh wait I know because I MENTIONED they were cute. My bad. They're ugly as shit but I love them and want them in wedding regardless. Better?? 

    Like I said this is all pointless because the originally planned FG and RB parents agreed. 
     then why post in the first place??????



    Anniversary
    InLoveInQueenssparklepants41
  • CMGragainCMGragain
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    edited July 19
    Oh, ladies!  Check out her other thread and see what she called us.  Nice.  After everyone here tried to help her, too.  Evidently she didn't read the TOS.
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  • ILoveBeachMusicILoveBeachMusic Indiana
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    Nobody told you not to have kids in your wedding if you are close to them. People said it was inappropriate to have a 17 month old especially carried in a wagon. You made it sound as if the cousins would not workout because of the divorce - I'm glad that isn't the case because they are definitely appropriate since you are close to them- but that is why people focused on the 17 month old. You obviously misread some people's remarks.
  • climbingwifeclimbingwife NYC 'burbs
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    This is one of the most insane posts I've read. Holy jeez. 

    OP, you went from saying you were not close to your cousin's kids to then saying you were the closest to them, held them right after they were born, envisioned them in your wedding. So which is it? You can have it both ways - either you're not close and only see them on holidays (as you claimed in your original post), or you're close with them and want to honor them by having them in your wedding. 

    This comment about how once you saw how cute the boy was, you made it your mission to get engaged is just WEIRD. Bizarre and strange and odd. I don't even know what to make of this. It sounds like something a very self obsessed person would say. "Wow, what a cute baby! He could be a model! I better hurry and get engaged so this cute baby can be my ring bearer!" Really, do you not see how this reads to others?? 

    Your best friend's daughter - it's great that a tiny baby lights up when she sees you. She's what - 5 months old?  Yeah, she doesn't know what's happening. Maybe she's making that face because she's taking a poop. She also will not understand at 17 months old that she's your flower girl. Because a child of that age doesn't process things like that. 

    People tried to give you advice, and you didn't want to hear it. 

    Great that you asked your cousin's kids. If you are SO CLOSE to them, why would you be so willing to toss them out just because the parents MIGHT get divorced? If you cared so much for these children, wouldn't you have included them anyway? You're still related to the children's other parent. Again, this is just weird. 

    holyguacamole79DrillSergeantCatInLoveInQueenseileenrob
  • My point is when I took this EXACT same question. Exact same wording to a completely different website and got a completely different response...Maybe the issue is none of them on the other websites were brides but literally all of them did not see why all of you are reacting the way they did. You claim that I asked a question and you answered. However, that is not that case. I asked a question and you all attacked me and even said "don't worry about what your mom and grandma think you don't need a FG or RB" I responded saying I'm the one who wants these kids in the wedding.

    I took screen shots of everything including my responses and they saw nothing wrong. The agree that I was attacked.

    Again I was attacked. Regardless of y'alls intent. That's what it felt like and I took it as defamation and responded.

     

  • holyguacamole79holyguacamole79 a taco truck in Houston
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    edited July 19

    My point is when I took this EXACT same question. Exact same wording to a completely different website and got a completely different response...Maybe the issue is none of them on the other websites were brides but literally all of them did not see why all of you are reacting the way they did. You claim that I asked a question and you answered. However, that is not that case. I asked a question and you all attacked me and even said "don't worry about what your mom and grandma think you don't need a FG or RB" I responded saying I'm the one who wants these kids in the wedding.

    I took screen shots of everything including my responses and they saw nothing wrong. The agree that I was attacked.

    Again I was attacked. Regardless of y'alls intent. That's what it felt like and I took it as defamation and responded.



    Jic




    Anniversary
  • NowIAmSypNowIAmSyp East Hanover, NJ
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    edited July 20
    Attacked???  This post?  This post is nothing.... oh, honey.  
    short+sassyPrettyGirlLost
  • NowIAmSyp said:
    Attacked???  This post?  This post is nothing.... oh, honey.  

    That gif is hilarious!  My new fave.  I'll have to steal it, lol.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    NowIAmSyp
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