Wedding 911

FB and RB parents headed for divorce...17 mo year old too young?

Hello,

So I had always dreamed of having a family member as my flower girl and ring bearer. When my cousin had a boy who even at 26 hours old was cute enough to be a baby model I was determined to get engaged by the time he was of age to be a ring bearer. I was the ONLY person at family functions (besides his parents) that could hold him without him crying.

Then a few years later she had a girl. Who was equally adorable at 23 hours old!! I was so honored to see them both in the hospital I knew that if I got engaged by the time they were old enough they would for sure be my FG and RB.

Now that I'm engaged and the wedding date is set. They are of perfect age!! He will be 5 and she will be 3. What's even more adorable is everywhere they go they have to hold hands!! So adorable!

I wish we got to see each other more than 5 times a year but thank goodness for facebook!!

Unfortunately their parents MIGHT be getting divorced...should I still ask these kids who I had always and the entire family had always dreamed of to be in my wedding?

Or should I ask my MOH's daughter who would only be 17 months old...but so far she's been at every wedding event/planning/shopping meeting and has been an angel every time and always lights up when she see's my face.

I really don't know which of these to have? What do you think?

or should I have both since I love both of them dearly.

 

«1

Re: FB and RB parents headed for divorce...17 mo year old too young?

  • "

    Hello,

    So I had always dreamed of having a family member as my flower girl and ring bearer. When my cousin had a boy who even at 26 hours old was cute enough to be a baby model I was determined to get engaged by the time he was of age to be a ring bearer. I was the ONLY person at family functions (besides his parents) that could hold him without him crying.

    Then a few years later she had a girl. Who was equally adorable at 23 hours old!! I was so honored to see them both in the hospital I knew that if I got engaged by the time they were old enough they would for sure be my FG and RB.

    Now that I'm engaged and the wedding date is set. They are of perfect age!! He will be 5 and she will be 3. What's even more adorable is everywhere they go they have to hold hands!! So adorable!

    I wish we got to see each other more than 5 times a year but thank goodness for facebook!!

    Unfortunately their parents MIGHT be getting divorced...should I still ask these kids who I had always and the entire family had always dreamed of to be in my wedding?

    Or should I ask my MOH's daughter who would only be 17 months old...but so far she's been at every wedding event/planning/shopping meeting and has been an angel every time and always lights up when she see's my face.

    I really don't know which of these to have? What do you think?

    or should I have both since I love both of them dearly.

    Um... the way you talk about only their appearance makes my gut reaction that you should not have any children (er, 'baby models') in your wedding.

    Now, if you are truly close to these children and love them for who they are (and accept that they might not be perfect angels at your wedding), then go for it. But not the 17-month-old, as she is too young to be asked and understand what she's supposed to do.

    ---I mentioned they were cute once. I loved them from the moment I found out they were coming into the world because I knew how much they were wanted by their parents,

    I said him letting only me hold him when he was young was adorable.

    I said them holding hands all the time was adorable.

    Both of these speak directly to their personality. not their looks.

    I also think that all my bridesmaids are gorgeous but that's not why I picked them...

    I think my future husband is the sexiest guy in the world and looks damn good in a tux but that's not even close to the reason I'm marrying him. 

    Me finding someone attractive has nothing to do with the reason I love and care about them.  

     

  • CMGragainCMGragain
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 25 Answers
    member
    edited July 18
    You don't need to make this decision until about seven months before your wedding.  Cool it for now.  You may change your mind later.  Wait and see.  No fair coming back next year and  crying because the family situation has changed and you want to change your mind about your bridal party.

    A child under the age of three should not be a part of your wedding party IMHO.  They won't understand what is happening, and it can be very stressful for them.  You don't NEED a flower girl.  Many brides don't have one.  Think of the child's needs first!
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
    DrillSergeantCatInLoveInQueens
  • ILoveBeachMusicILoveBeachMusic Indiana
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary 5 Answers
    member
    edited July 19
    Many people gave you good advice on your other post dealing with this same topic. 

    -ask whomever you are close to, not who will be the cutest
    -17 months is really too young to be a FG ( it doesn't matter if she has been to all the planning get togethers because she doesn't understand them.
    - don't have a toddler pulled in a wagon (from other post)

    Yes it would be great to have the older children in the wedding. I would do what @missfrodo said and wait if you have the time to see how the parent situation works out. Even if they do divorce, the children might still be able to be in the wedding party.

    edited for clarity.
    CMGragainPrettyGirlLostInLoveInQueenscharlotte989875
  • augustgirl21augustgirl21
    25 Love Its 10 Comments Name Dropper
    member
    edited July 19
    Thank y'all have been SUPER helpful...
    I asked my cousin and she said yes. The entire family had been waiting for me to ask (which I knew) but she was super honored that I truly want them in the wedding and not just because that's what my family expects me to do. 

    And "sorry not sorry" for thinking my cousins are cute. :-) I'm not a bitch **Removed for ToS violation**

     

     

  • CMGragainCMGragain
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 25 Answers
    member
    edited July 19
    Nice.  I guess you didn't read the TOS you agreed to when you signed up here.  Everyone has tried to help you.  You won't listen.  It is all about you, not the children.  Keep up the name calling and you will get banned.  No one on the boards called you a name that would get you sent to the principal's office in any school.  We don't do that here.  How old are you, anyway?
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
    eileenrob
  • "

    Hello,

    So I had always dreamed of having a family member as my flower girl and ring bearer. When my cousin had a boy who even at 26 hours old was cute enough to be a baby model I was determined to get engaged by the time he was of age to be a ring bearer. I was the ONLY person at family functions (besides his parents) that could hold him without him crying.

    Then a few years later she had a girl. Who was equally adorable at 23 hours old!! I was so honored to see them both in the hospital I knew that if I got engaged by the time they were old enough they would for sure be my FG and RB.

    Now that I'm engaged and the wedding date is set. They are of perfect age!! He will be 5 and she will be 3. What's even more adorable is everywhere they go they have to hold hands!! So adorable!

    I wish we got to see each other more than 5 times a year but thank goodness for facebook!!

    Unfortunately their parents MIGHT be getting divorced...should I still ask these kids who I had always and the entire family had always dreamed of to be in my wedding?

    Or should I ask my MOH's daughter who would only be 17 months old...but so far she's been at every wedding event/planning/shopping meeting and has been an angel every time and always lights up when she see's my face.

    I really don't know which of these to have? What do you think?

    or should I have both since I love both of them dearly.

    Um... the way you talk about only their appearance makes my gut reaction that you should not have any children (er, 'baby models') in your wedding.

    Now, if you are truly close to these children and love them for who they are (and accept that they might not be perfect angels at your wedding), then go for it. But not the 17-month-old, as she is too young to be asked and understand what she's supposed to do.

    ---I mentioned they were cute once. I loved them from the moment I found out they were coming into the world because I knew how much they were wanted by their parents,

    I said him letting only me hold him when he was young was adorable.

    I said them holding hands all the time was adorable.

    Both of these speak directly to their personality. not their looks.

    I also think that all my bridesmaids are gorgeous but that's not why I picked them...

    I think my future husband is the sexiest guy in the world and looks damn good in a tux but that's not even close to the reason I'm marrying him. 

    Me finding someone attractive has nothing to do with the reason I love and care about them.  

    Words have meaning. "Adorable" is a descriptor of appearance. It's a synonym of "cute," in fact. You say you have always wanted a ringbearer/flowergirl as if you didn't even care who they were as long as you had one.
    image
  • climbingwifeclimbingwife NYC 'burbs
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    member
    edited July 19
    Why did you post on the other board that you were not close to these kids and only saw them on holidays? 

    ETA: a 5 month old baby doesn't really know what's going on with their surrounding just yet, FYI. 

    holyguacamole79InLoveInQueenseileenrob
  • CMGragain said:
    Nice.  I guess you didn't read the TOS you agreed to when you signed up here.  Everyone has tried to help you.  You won't listen.  It is all about you, not the children.  Keep up the name calling and you will get banned.  No one on the boards called you a name that would get you sent to the principal's office in any school.  We don't do that here.  How old are you, anyway?

    Most people in here have assumed incorrectly my intentioned and then gave advice based on their assumption. So in that sense yes they helped however they had incorrect information. Therefore I tried to correct that information but apparently once I called them cute or said I wanted a FB and RB they assumed I only wanted them as props because I said I wanted A fb and rb.

    I want A husband too but I didn't get engaged until I found the right one....

    I wanted A car too but didn't purchase until I found one I loved

    I wanted A dog but didn't adopt until I found the right one.

    I want A flower girl in my wedding but not ANY flower girl.

    Also Please show me where I called someone in here a name...

     

  • augustgirl21augustgirl21
    25 Love Its 10 Comments Name Dropper
    member
    edited July 19
    CMGragain said:
    Nice.  I guess you didn't read the TOS you agreed to when you signed up here.  Everyone has tried to help you.  You won't listen.  It is all about you, not the children.  Keep up the name calling and you will get banned.  No one on the boards called you a name that would get you sent to the principal's office in any school.  We don't do that here.  How old are you, anyway? Cuz you act like you're 13. You're being a total bitch.

    Most people in here have assumed incorrectly my intentioned and then gave advice based on their assumption. So in that sense yes they helped however they had incorrect information. Therefore I tried to correct that information but apparently once I called them cute or said I wanted a FB and RB they assumed I only wanted them as props because I said I wanted A fb and rb.

    I want A husband too but I didn't get engaged until I found the right one....

    I wanted A car too but didn't purchase until I found one I loved

    I wanted A dog but didn't adopt until I found the right one.

    I want A flower girl in my wedding but not ANY flower girl.

    Also Please show me where I called someone in here a name...

    RIGHT HERE: 

    Thank y'all have been SUPER helpful...
    I asked my cousin and she said yes. The entire family had been waiting for me to ask (which I knew) but she was super honored that I truly want them in the wedding and not just because that's what my family expects me to do. 

    And "sorry not sorry" for thinking my cousins are cute. :-) I'm not a bitch 
    **Removed for ToS violation**
    I bolded it for ya. Nice try deleting that last part though. You were already quoted saying "I'm not a bitch **Removed Quote for ToS violation**

    Look I can add stuff too and make it look like you called me names too!! :-)

    I never called anyone here a bitch. Just because someone added that text doesn't mean I said it.

     

  • climbingwifeclimbingwife NYC 'burbs
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    member
    edited July 19
    CMGragain said:
    Nice.  I guess you didn't read the TOS you agreed to when you signed up here.  Everyone has tried to help you.  You won't listen.  It is all about you, not the children.  Keep up the name calling and you will get banned.  No one on the boards called you a name that would get you sent to the principal's office in any school.  We don't do that here.  How old are you, anyway? Cuz you act like you're 13. You're being a total bitch.

    Most people in here have assumed incorrectly my intentioned and then gave advice based on their assumption. So in that sense yes they helped however they had incorrect information. Therefore I tried to correct that information but apparently once I called them cute or said I wanted a FB and RB they assumed I only wanted them as props because I said I wanted A fb and rb.

    I want A husband too but I didn't get engaged until I found the right one....

    I wanted A car too but didn't purchase until I found one I loved

    I wanted A dog but didn't adopt until I found the right one.

    I want A flower girl in my wedding but not ANY flower girl.

    Also Please show me where I called someone in here a name...

    RIGHT HERE: 

    Thank y'all have been SUPER helpful...
    I asked my cousin and she said yes. The entire family had been waiting for me to ask (which I knew) but she was super honored that I truly want them in the wedding and not just because that's what my family expects me to do. 

    And "sorry not sorry" for thinking my cousins are cute. :-) I'm not a bitch 
    **Removed for ToS violation**
    I bolded it for ya. Nice try deleting that last part though. You were already quoted saying "I'm not a bitch **Removed Quote for ToS violation**

    Look I can add stuff too and make it look like you called me names too!! :-)

    I never called anyone here a bitch. Just because someone added that text doesn't mean I said it.

    We all saw your original post, and we can all see that it was edited. I'm sure it was already reported, so no worries. Nice try though! 


    InLoveInQueensOliveOilsMomeileenrob
  • augustgirl21augustgirl21
    25 Love Its 10 Comments Name Dropper
    member
    edited July 19

    Oh don't worry if I said it I would admit it. I didn't. Just because someone had enough time on their hands to make it look like I said something multiple times and edited my original post does not mean it actually happened.

    But you know what...**Removed for ToS violation**. There I said it.  Never said anyone in a forum I had posted in. Even in the post someone edited for me. It still never says person abc is a bitch or people in forum cdf are bitches. 

    What people in this forum have been report for is defamation.
    You're welcome!

     

  • Okay so I was going to try & write something nice & helpful about how I kind of understood PART of your issue because my youngest cousin was always going to be my flower girl. However, by the time we got married, she was 17 and taller than me, so I had to change my ~vision~ and she was a bridesmaid.

    But then, you started getting pretty angry & name-calling, and just not really listening to everyone. PPs gave you good things to think about, both here & on your other post. You had written conflicting information about whether or not you're close to your two younger cousins. Having "backup" any members of the wedding party give the impression you don't care to honor that specific person; you just want that "role" filled. Pulling a kid in a wagon who doesn't know WTF is going on is pretty unsafe. 

    You seem pretty set on doing what you want, so I'm not sure why you keep coming back asking for advice. It's clearly ~*~*your day~*~* so do what you want & ignore everyone else. 
    flantasticInLoveInQueensOliveOilsMom
  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost A Land Filled with Unicorns and Cat Hair
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    member
    edited July 19

    Oh don't worry if I said it I would admit it. I didn't. Just because someone had enough time on their hands to make it look like I said something multiple times and edited my original post does not mean it actually happened.

    But you know what...**Removed for ToS violation** There I said it.  Never said anyone in a forum I had posted in. Even in the post someone edited for me. It still never says person abc is a bitch or people in forum cdf are bitches. 

    What people in this forum have been report for is defamation.
    You're welcome!


    httpsmediatenorcomimagese208c60d217ad3a38417bb66b15dbeeftenorgif

    httpsmpopkeyco1a740b3eQD4gif



    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


    LadyCatherineDBeileenrob
  • LOL at OP and the gaslighting attempt.
    Good thing she's terrible at it (just like she's terrible at understanding what words mean, as exampled by her posts about the words adorable and defamation).
    PrettyGirlLostahoyweddingeileenrob
  • CMGragainCMGragain
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 25 Answers
    member
    edited July 19
    I'm glad you added to the quote from my post.  I was thinking that, but I am too polite to post it.  I used to teach middle school.  Grow up.  Take responsibility for your own actions.
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
    MobKazeileenrob
  • ernursejernursej
    Tenth Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    member

    Missed an opportunity to grab popcorn!

    charlotte989875eileenrob
  • CMGragainCMGragain
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 25 Answers
    member
    edited July 19
    Liar, liar, pants on fire.  I reported you for that post last night before you revised it.
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
    holyguacamole79
  • ernursej said:

    Missed an opportunity to grab popcorn!

    Bummed I missed it, too. Stupid job. 
    ernursejeileenrob
  • MairePoppyMairePoppy Connecticut
    Moderator Eighth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    mod

    Oh don't worry if I said it I would admit it. I didn't. Just because someone had enough time on their hands to make it look like I said something multiple times and edited my original post does not mean it actually happened.

    But you know what...**Removed for ToS violation**. There I said it.  Never said anyone in a forum I had posted in. Even in the post someone edited for me. It still never says person abc is a bitch or people in forum cdf are bitches. 

    What people in this forum have been report for is defamation.
    You're welcome!

    Knottie#s, please check your PMs  by clicking on the little envelope in the upper right hand corner. Thank you.
                
    holyguacamole79NiceKindaSpicesouthernbelle0915OliveOilsMom
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