Accept the invite, split the check, and if they want more then say, "I'm not interested."

mrsconn23

Dear Prudence,

I got divorced last year and have been happily single since then. I plan to stay that way for a while. Recently I’ve had a couple of old guy friends get in touch and ask to get together to catch up. In both cases, there was potential for romantic relationships many years ago, but we ended up just being friends. I’d like to get together with them but worry that they’re really just looking for hookups. How can I make clear that I’m only interested in friendship without coming off as obnoxious or presumptuous?

The same anxiety often comes up if a new male acquaintance asks to go to lunch or for a drink. How do I clarify that I’m not interested in anything but friendship without giving the impression that I walk around thinking every man in the world must want to have sex with me?

—Just Friends

MissKittyDanger

Don't assume they're into you? That way if they try anything, advise you're just divorced and want to be single.

charlotte989875

Have dinner, have lunch, have drinks but don't have sex with them unless you want to. Maybe they're just being nice and reaching out during a hard time. Maybe they do want to have sex. You have no idea until you having out with them. 

And just because they're looking for sex doesn't mean you have to do it!

nicolegs17

And just because they're looking for sex doesn't mean you have to marry them or be romantically involved if you, too, are interested in just sex.  The friendships might make it awkward to transition to FWB, but you're right - accept the invite, split the check (or pay the whole thing) and keep your panties on if you like.

flantastic

You don't have to suss out and preempt people's motivations until they make their intentions known. It's not leading them on to accept an invite that's proffered as "catching up." It's not that hard.

southernbelle0915

This kind of makes me sad. Like what happened to LW that she thinks people would only want to talk to her to get in her pants? 

There's a difference between a booty call and testing the waters for a romantic relationship. She's totally in control of not fucking on the first date. Geez.