There's a block function for a reason. Use it.

mrsconn23

Dear Prudence,
My old friend Nancy has been reaching out to me on Facebook Messenger. In the mid-’90s, she called me the C-word, twice, while we were at a neighborhood bar.

After that I didn’t have anything else to do with her. These recent attempts to contact me are the first I’ve heard from her in years. I haven’t ignored or encouraged her; I’ve responded without being either rude or friendly.

This week, my brother accompanied a friend to buy furniture he’d heard about through an online ad. It turned out to be at Nancy’s late mother’s house. Nancy embarrassed my brother, in front of his friend, by telling him what she called me all those years ago, tried to apologize to him for it, and explained that she had been drunk at the time. I’m 63 years old, and we were friends in high school. She had a triple bypass this year. Her immediate family has all passed away. She has no husband or children. She’s probably lonely. Not wanting to be mean, rude, or hurtful, how do I tell her, I’m not interested?

—Thanks but No Thanks

banana468

You can block her but it also seems odd to not speak up as an adult.  She's 63.   So this happened when you were in your 40's?  Use. Your.Words.

mrsconn23

banana468 said:

You can block her but it also seems odd to not speak up as an adult.  She's 63.   So this happened when you were in your 40's?  Use. Your.Words.

My parents are around the age of the LW and the petty shit that comes from them interacting on FB knows no bounds.  My mom doesn't engage, but she tells me about it.  It's like teenagers, but somehow worse since they all should know better. 

OliveOilsMom

I don't think the brother should have been embarrassed because Nancy embarrassed herself by bringing up the "feud".  Brother should have just said "I think that is something you should speak to my sister about."

I do wonder what Nancy is saying in these messages.  Is she or has she apologized for what was said years ago?  If the answer is no, then I think LW should respond once and say "Nancy, I do not wish to have any further contact.  I wish you well".  If she did apologize, then I think LW should acknowledge the apology, but still wish her well and have nothing to do with her.  "Nancy, thank you for the apology.  I have moved on in my life, but do not wish you restart up our friendship.  I wish you well in life." 

After the message of choice is delivered, LW should block Nancy.

short+sassy

It seems odd to me to hold a grudge this long over drunken name calling.  But if for that and/or any other reasons, the LW no longer wants to be in contact, then she should just put up with the occasional PM or just tell her she doesn't want to stay in touch.  I like @OliveOilsMom's words. 

baconsmom

I wish these were my problems. Get a fucking hobby, good lord. 

6fsn

I don't care about these people, but wanted to share that I have been facebook blocked.  She's a neighborhood acquaintance with a couple of kids so we have a ton of friends in common. The only reason I can think of is political- I am acquaintances with a trustee that she actively loathes.  She loathes this trustee so much that she actually started a facebook group that is essentially an anti Lisa campaign (even though Lisa is not even running).  It's all very strange, especially considering I NEVER post political stuff.

MissKittyDanger

6fsn said:

I don't care about these people, but wanted to share that I have been facebook blocked.  She's a neighborhood acquaintance with a couple of kids so we have a ton of friends in common. The only reason I can think of is political- I am acquaintances with a trustee that she actively loathes.  She loathes this trustee so much that she actually started a facebook group that is essentially an anti Lisa campaign (even though Lisa is not even running).  It's all very strange, especially considering I NEVER post political stuff.

Sounds like "I hate X person and all who associate with X" type of petty shit.

southernbelle0915

baconsmom said:

I wish these were my problems. Get a fucking hobby, good lord. 

THIS! I mean, JFC, a bit less than a quarter century ago, a drunk person called you a cunt. Get over it. Either be friends with her or don't but oh my god...writing in to Prudie about this? LOL!!