Pre-wedding Parties

MOH asking for money for bachelorette props

Hi,
I am hoping to find clarification to what is considered normal protocol. I am a bridesmaid and the MOH is buying props for the bachelorette party,  and she is asking me to give her money for some of these items. I thought that being MOH means this is your duty and responsibility and are her costs only. Am I right or wrong? Thank you so much!  

Re: MOH asking for money for bachelorette props

  • Hi,
    I am hoping to find clarification to what is considered normal protocol. I am a bridesmaid and the MOH is buying props for the bachelorette party, (veil, garter, hats, etc) and she is asking me to give her money for some of these items. I thought that being MOH means this is your duty and responsibility and are her costs only. Am I right or wrong? Thank you so much!  
    There's no duty or responsibilities as such, however, if she is hosting the event, she is responsible for paying for whatever props she wants for the evening. Did you all discuss what the bachelorette would entail before she started planning? Did she ask what kind of budget everyone could contribute? I need a wee more info. 
    charlotte989875
  • No she didnt ask any of those questions..
  •  Its a destination party and she is buying some stuff for it, but then asking me for money towards it.  
  • So you didn't discuss the budget previously? Then I would let her know that, no you don't want to contribute x money for said props as it wasn't what you agreed to. 

    A destination Bachelorette is pricey to begin with, you should discuss with the MOH what you can and cannot spend money on. Normally when I've been in a bridal party, we've paid for the bride and pooled our money but it was all decided on from the get-go. 
    charlotte989875MairePoppyahoyweddingshort+sassy
  • MobKazMobKaz Chicago suburbs
    Eighth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    member
    Is this the first "event" being held prior to the wedding?

    It is not uncommon for the wedding party, or someone in the wedding party, to offer to host a bachelorette party or shower.  However, none is required or considered a duty.  If the MOH volunteers herself, she cannot assume the wedding party will assist in any of the planning or financing of an event. 

    You are free to decline any costs she chooses to incur.  I ask whether this is the first event in case a shower may also be in your future, so that you can be prepared to accept or decline co-hosting any additional events, or being asked to contribute to them.
    charlotte989875ahoywedding
  • To answer another question in your post, no, it is not the MOH's "duty" to throw a bachelorette party.  They are optional.  Agreeing to attend is also optional.
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  • ahoyweddingahoywedding
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary First Answer
    member
    edited March 21
    It sounds like this might be both of your first times being part of a wedding party/hosting pre-wedding events. I was also blindsided the first time I was in a WP and sucked it up and paid more than I wanted for a party I had no say in and I felt uncomfortable saying no so I sucked it up for the sake of my friend.

    If she wanted the rest of the party to contribute or was planning on that, she definitely should have said something ahead of time. If you're uncomfortable with the extra amount, you're totally fine to tell her you didn't know about this extra cost and aren't comfortable or able to contribute. 

    There is no "traditional" MOH duties except show up on time in the agreed upon attire, and usually they hold the bouquet during the ceremony, etc. Whoever offers to host any pre-wedding party should usually assume all costs, unless other people offered to contribute or help plan, etc.
    MairePoppyeileenrob
  • MairePoppyMairePoppy Connecticut
    Moderator Eighth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    mod
    No one else has the right to spend your money. The MOH should have asked if any of the bm wanted to co-host the bp. Any volunteers should have had a say in the budget and any purchases for the party. The MOH is not obligated to throw parties for the bride. I will also assume the MOH didn't know these things.

    If you want to contribute, tell the MOH that you will send her X dollars toward the cost of the bp party. If you don't want to contribute, tell her. You can let her know your budget for this wedding is maxed out JIC she also thinks she should throw a shower and invoice the bm.

                
    InLoveInQueenseileenrob
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