What do I do?!

SweetPea1126 · February 2010

Okay, so my STD's went out and someone sent me a comment on facebook saying she saw her mothers STD from us & loved it....Someone else, who I used to be really good friends with commented asking me the date we're getting married...So I told her and she said "Should I mark that down?"...I've been debating on inviting her because although we used to be really good friends, we haven't seen eachother in a couple years. How do I respond to that since I don't know for sure if I'm going to invite her?

MeaghanandMichael · February 2010

I think first of all, take the conversation off facebook.
I definitely think you need to tlak to her. Let her know that, while you would love to invite her, there are space limitations with your guests list and venue you are trying to work out. She is being the rude one here, so don't feel bad being honest that you haven't finalized anything yet. Then you can make your decision in your own time.

SweetPea1126 · February 2010

If the STD's went out though, won't she know we already kind of have a guest list?!

MeaghanandMichael · February 2010

STD's definitely don't mean a finalized guest list. Often times people send them just to OOT guests. If you send an STD, you have to invite that person to the wedding. However, you can always add more people when you send out the invites without being rude.

SweetPea1126 · February 2010

Meaghan - you're right..I sent my Fiance a text telling him what happened and he responded by saying "Facebook is the devil" lol...I'm always too worried about offending people, but it was rude of her to put me on the spot like that...Thanks for the help.

jsychien · February 2010

This is why I think facebook is evil. You can't have any privacy anymore.

Having said that, I think it's somewhat tasteless for this girl to ask whether or not she is going to be invited. Obviously, if she was going to be invited, she would have received a STD already. I think it is perfectly okay for you to say that you are still in the process of finalizing the guest list. You would like to have her there, but due to family and budget constraints, you can't promise anything.

That is how we've handled it so far, and everyone has been pretty understanding.

CCBelle · February 2010

That's terrible! I agree, take the conversation - in fact, all wedding related converstaions - off of FB. Send that one "old friend" a polite email saying that your guest list isn't finalized. I'd also delete any wall posts that others may have posted to your FB wall. Don't want to give anyone else ideas!

SweetPea1126 · February 2010

Thanks for all the info! I have a feeling I may be posting more to get advice because it seems to be the time where things are getting frustrating! Thanks again!

jwatts23 · February 2010

I agree with all the PP. It sounds like maybe your friend was trying to be a bit snarky asking if she should "mark it down"...maybe not, but maybe she wanted an answer if she was invited or not. Not fair at all to put you on the spot. But address it off FB and then don't worry about it!

People are wild when it comes to wedding!

nantucketirish · February 2010

I 100% agree, fall back on space limitations!

jkepros · February 2010

I'd just say you haven't finalized the guest list and only sent out the STDs to family and OOT guests.

mrshuguley · February 2010

Every other day I am getting someone on Facebook to ask me are they invited so I just sent them a personal message with the normal spill too expensive to invite everyone i know and blah blah..Finally I just put it in my status that the Guest list is full to capacity with a sad face :-( No more private messages...haha lmbo you just gotta know how to handle random people who you know that just don't want to be left out the fun and festivities. Another suggestion would also to tell them you can make them part of the B-list for the people that cannot attend on the A-list which I find to be tacky and rude but it was a guest who asked me can they be on the B-list then.

Shazzie116 · February 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.weddings.com/Sites/Weddings/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_massachusetts-boston_what-do-i-do?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:89Discussion:c5e3c520-7f42-4d22-a838-a1af27388b47Post:5127da74-1a99-413c-83d2-efb2becf1ebe">Re: What do I do?!</a>:
[QUOTE]Every other day I am getting someone on Facebook to ask me are they invited...Posted by mrshuguley[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Seriously, what is wrong with people these days? This is what I hate about Facebook. People suddenly find the balls to say and ask the rudest things because they're not in person or on the phone. </div><div>
</div><div>You don't owe them an answer, they're being rude. I know a guy who used this tactic to get himself invited to weddings he would otherwise not be invited to. I just don't understand how some people think that's ok.

</div>

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