Reception Ideas

People keep telling me it will be boring.

My invitations went out and I'm excited about the fun time we have planned, but I keep being asked questions like what are we doing since we aren't having a DJ, do we have anything planned. And it's confusing because we are having a super casual wedding ceremony, and it will be very quick because I know long ceremonies can be quite boring. But it is in a house, so I figure we could hang out in the yard after the ceremony, people would like to go swimming (we added swimming to our invitation so people know that they need to bring a bathing suit and a towel), we have changing station setup. And it's all so confusing because these are adults, so shouldn't they be able to entertain themselves and talk? I am also being told that everybody is going to leave early since we're having an afternoon ceremony, and I'm afraid that we are having dinner too late and people aren't going to stick around. After the ceremony ends, we're going to have fruit salads and some cheese platters out until dinner begins.

I wanted to know if I'm just being paranoid and letting people get in my head, or if these are legitimate concerns? I appreciate that all these people will want to come to my wedding, but if they truly have a problem with the day that we've planned, they really could just stay home. I'm just happy the people closest to me will be there. It's just that the people who are closest to me are the ones who are complaining the most, people I work with are telling me it should be fine and not to listen to those negative people. I don't really think we need to spend a lot of money to have a really good wedding, I'm not throwing this wedding for anybody else but myself and my fiance.

my fiance likes games, so we're probably going to set up some game stations around the yard with some card games that are popular with adults. My sister mentioned lawn games, but my fiance isn't really into that so I don't really know how to tell her it's not his thing. 

basically, has anybody had a wedding without music, but people still had a good time? I don't see why I have to spend thousands of dollars for other people when we are having the wedding that makes us happy. and also, yard parties are really a lot of fun. If anybody wants to sleep over, we could put up some tents in the yard and make it a real Outdoor Adventure. My sister thinks that's not a good idea, but she likes weddings that are those cookie-cutter weddings and I don't want that.
«134

Re: People keep telling me it will be boring.

  • That's exactly what I tell them, but the few people I've told all look at me like a pool party is crazy, and they say no one will want to go swimkswi so that's not really the best idea for a wedding. I think it will be a blast but everyone is obsessed with activities and music, and they think this will not be a good turnout, and it's too late to make any changes. They're like, we can go swimming anytime what am I doing that's going to make it special. The idea of everyone coming together in one place is special to me, but to others it's boring. So I said, anyone who thinks it's going to be boring can decline because I would rather they not show up at all if they are going to judge us.
  • Yeah I stopped sharing my ideas and that's why everyone keeps asking. And my sister keeps telling me I need to have things for people to do and also a timeline, but I don't think I need to do anything much more than give good food which I am. She is too concerned that it will be too boring if I don't provide entertainment, and I should make sure people are aware what to expect because most people expect the cookie cutter wedding, but I don't see why. For example, she said to assign tables since people don't know one another and it helps make things easier for the guests if they know where to put their things and sit. I for one have never thogtho it was a big deal to find my own seat so I think it's just something she is using as an opportunity to criticize me for whatever reason. She thinks I need to come up with things for people to do, but I know the guests will figure it out.
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    member
    Yeah I stopped sharing my ideas and that's why everyone keeps asking. And my sister keeps telling me I need to have things for people to do and also a timeline, but I don't think I need to do anything much more than give good food which I am. She is too concerned that it will be too boring if I don't provide entertainment, and I should make sure people are aware what to expect because most people expect the cookie cutter wedding, but I don't see why. For example, she said to assign tables since people don't know one another and it helps make things easier for the guests if they know where to put their things and sit. I for one have never thogtho it was a big deal to find my own seat so I think it's just something she is using as an opportunity to criticize me for whatever reason. She thinks I need to come up with things for people to do, but I know the guests will figure it out.
    The next time your sister comments on your plans, tell her, "Sis, you've made your opinions clear. However, our plans are fixed and we're no longer open to discussing them, so please consider this a closed subject."
  • We don't have budget for the Jenga and other games, we have a very tight budget. We are thinking about getting pool floats, we have to run it by my aunt, who's house we are using, to see what she says. She is paying for a good chunk of the wedding for us as well as my parents. We promised to keep this whole things at a reasonable amount of money and so we are trying to be considerate about spending money. 
  • climbingwifeclimbingwife NYC 'burbs
    10000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    member
    We don't have budget for the Jenga and other games, we have a very tight budget. We are thinking about getting pool floats, we have to run it by my aunt, who's house we are using, to see what she says. She is paying for a good chunk of the wedding for us as well as my parents. We promised to keep this whole things at a reasonable amount of money and so we are trying to be considerate about spending money. 
    You can get a generic version of lawn Jenga and a croquet set at Walmart for $35 each. I'd spend the money on that instead of pool floats. I also agree with LL that if I'm attending a wedding, regardless of how casual it might be, I'm still going to look nice. I won't want to put on a bathing suit and jump in a pool. 

    You seemed annoyed at even having guests there, so my question is this - why are you inviting anyone? 

    You don't need to do assigned tables if you're going for a casual, backyard BBQ vibe, but just make sure you have more than enough seats and tables for everyone. Put on some background music. Serve food right after the ceremony. 

    InLoveInQueensahoyweddingholyguacamole79MyNameIsNot
  • edited July 5
    sorry I'm definitely not annoyed, but it is very annoying that they are making it seem like I have to spend a lot of money in order for my guests to have a good time. It's pretty greedy of my guests that the only way they can have fun is if I spend thousands of dollars I don't want to spend. I know it will be a lot of fun because we always have fun when we hang out in the yard, so we do want that laid-back vibe for our wedding. I keep being told that our guests are so used to going to these fancy weddings, they are going to be very confused and I really don't see what's so confusing about being invited to house and just hanging out. If I am annoyed at all, it's because everybody has these preconceived notions of what they think of wedding should be and there's no way I'm going to do any of that, because not only do I not want to, but we don't have the money for it. And like I said, if somebody's expecting a cookie cutter wedding, they can decline and go out to a club if that's what they want. We don't like clubbing.
  • LondonLisaLondonLisa London, UK
    2500 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    member
    Where is anyone on this board saying that you need to spend thousands of dollars? 

    All we are saying is move dinner up so there isn’t a 2+hour gap.
    MyNameIsNot
  • banana468banana468
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    member
    You are extrapolating to "they want me to spend all this money I don't have."

    What they want is for you to spend your money wisely - on the sort of things that will make a party fun after everyone has gotten dressed up (at least a little) for a wedding. You will get a few swimmers, but I would be among those who don't want the hassle of changing/drying/changing back.

    So that means food, sooner. It means games that people can participate in while still dressed up, and during which it's easy to converse. (So as people suggested, buy cheap lawn games - even if your then-H will choose the pool instead - rather than cheap pool floats.) It means having a rain backup plan. It means having enough seats for people.

    No matter how much they love you and want to celebrate with you, if the party is awkwardly planned, people will leave. That has nothing to do with expecting a more formal or expensive type of wedding. Just be smart about it.
    All of this.   Think of how your money gets used.

    -Multiple people can play one game at a time vs. one person who must be changed into a swim suit for a pool float.

    -People will be eating regardless of when you have food served.   Just make it good.  Good doesn't mean expensive.   It just means satisfying, at least moderately healthy for the body and certainly something that's safe (think summer salads in heat issues).

    -You don't need a DJ but music helps.
    ahoyweddingcharlotte989875
  • holyguacamole79holyguacamole79 a taco truck in Houston
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    member
    One of my favorite wedding receptions was actually a softball game.  After the wedding, the couple had the traditional first dance & cut the cake.  The reception was in their apartment common areas (it was reserved for us and decorated nicely).  It was within walking distance of a neighborhood ballpark, so we changed into shorts & t-shirts and played softball until dusk (the lights didn't come on as planned, but oh well).  There may have been background music, but I don't recall.   They had hot dogs, nachos, and cake.  



    Anniversary
    charlotte989875eileenrobshort+sassyCharmedPam
  • This is such a stressful process. We have such a good time when we hang out at the pool, and we just want the guests to have that same chill feeling that we have. Our ceremony is going to be at noon, and then we have dinner starting at 4 pm.. we plan to set up some changing stations in the yard so people can change out of their clothes and into bathing suits if they want to go swimming, and then we'll probably do more food at 8 pm because I expect we'll have a lot of leftovers. we have also been telling people that they can sleep over if they don't feel like driving home, because we don't want any drunk drivers getting hurt. 

    again, we don't need it to be super exciting because we aren't into clubbing and partying really hard, but I'm sure it will be fun. I just think that they are so used to going to weddings that are full of alcohol they might not really know how to just relax in a laid-back way, and it'll be so different from anything that we've ever scene at a wedding so that should be special by itself
  • we invited about 150 people. And yes, whatever food is left over from 4 pm, We would just put inside and people can help themselves throughout the rest of the afternoon. we plan to BBQ hotdogs and hamburgers all day, and then have some veggie salads for people who don't eat meat. Trying to stay inexpensive. 
«134
Sign In or Register to comment.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards