Military Brides

Military Brides and two anniversaries?

I am a hopefull bride-to-be and we are going to just do the quick vow on the beach (no dress, no uniform, just like 6 people including us) and then in the summertime before we go to our perminant duty station we are having an actually wedding cerimony with a dress, his uniform and our family and friends. We are doing the hitching because of his orders, there is a 50% chance he will be stationed OCONUS.
I have heard it is common for military brides to have two anniversaries in that case. One of the actual "wedding day" and one of the actual "wedding".
Whats your opinion?
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Re: Military Brides and two anniversaries?

  • iluvmytxrgriluvmytxrgr
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
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    edited December 2011

    I know a friggin ton of couples who had a JOP wedding and then a PP wedding.  They only celebrate one anniversary.  I haven't met a single couple that does two.  IMO, you either celebrate the day you got married or the day you had a wedding. 



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  • Beachy730Beachy730
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    edited December 2011

    This is one thing that drives me nuts about the military, because everyone tries to have 2 weddings.  You only get 1 wedding day, at least to the same husband.  If it has to be a JOP wedding, thats your wedding.  It is harder in the military because many times you are forced to marry quickly and lost out on the wedding you had dreamed about, but thats a choice you make.  I think you should either find a way to include more people in your wedding on the beach, or accept that your wedding will only have 6 people.  If you want to celebrate with everyone, then throw a party in the summer and host all of your family and friends, but do not call it a wedding, and do not perform wedding related activities like BMs, cake-cutting, etc, first dance, etc. 

    I understand about the changing of stations making it difficult, but we had to deal with that as well.  We decided that we wanted our big wedding, so I wasn't on the orders when we moved.  It was a chioce we made though. 

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  • kyrgyzstankyrgyzstan
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    edited December 2011
    My parents are for real hippies When my mom married my bio father legally, it didn't work out so well. So, my mom and stepdad (married for 23 years) were never going to get legally married, 24 years ago they made a commitment to each other, blah blah blah, and to God that they were staying together. They celebrate that day as the anniversary of their marriage. Then, to buy a house 23 years ago, they couldn't get a loan without being legally married. So, they went to the courthouse and got married. There was no wedding. They celebrate that day too, though their spirtual marriage is their big anniversary. All they do is go out to dinner. Heck, they also celebrate the anniversary of their first date. They are complete dorks. I make fun of them, I call them nihilists, hippies, etc. They couldn't care less. They still go celebrate them in their hearts. They'd never expect other people to make a big deal, about any of their anniversaries, but they do.

    I see no harm in having multiple days in a year where you focus on how much you love the man you're married to, as long as you don't expect other people to care about any of your anniversaries. Anniversaries =/= birthdays. Only the two of you should be making a big deal.

    However, I am probably the most anti-JOP person on this board, and I think getting married to be on orders isn't a good enough reason to rush a wedding.
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  • Sammy0709Sammy0709
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to Re: Military Brides and two anniversaries?:
    This is one thing that drives me nuts about the military, because everyone tries to have 2 weddings.  You only get 1 wedding day, at least to the same husband.  If it has to be a JOP wedding, thats your wedding.  It is harder in the military because many times you are forced to marry quickly and lost out on the wedding you had dreamed about, but thats a choice you make.  I think you should either find a way to include more people in your wedding on the beach, or accept that your wedding will only have 6 people.  If you want to celebrate with everyone, then throw a party in the summer and host all of your family and friends, but do not call it a wedding, and do not perform wedding related activities like BMs, cake-cutting, etc, first dance, etc.  I understand about the changing of stations making it difficult, but we had to deal with that as well.  We decided that we wanted our big wedding, so I wasn't on the orders when we moved.  It was a chioce we made though. 
    Posted by dnbeach12
    This I completely  understand but I can also see where OP is coming from.  As you know from your move to live with your H, you had to pay to move everything.  The military didn't do it for you.  No offense to your ideals but, OCONUS moves are a lot more pricey than your move was.  I can see why she would want to be on the orders and not have to pay for her move herself.  You shouldn't make her feel bad about her choice by pushing your ideals on her.  She made a practical, money wise choice and that is what happens to be best for her.

    To answer the OP, personally, I would celebrate the date of the JOP wedding.  THAT is the day you were married.  Your other event (whether you decide to call it a wedding or a vow renewal) is just a party to involve your family in the celebration of your marriage.  That being said, I would suggest the possibility of having your JOP wedding and, for your anniversary, throwing yourself a vow renewal rather than a wedding.  That's what a lot of the couples we are friends with have done.  Think of it this way, then there is no confusion as to which day you celebrate your anniversary.
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  • Beachy730Beachy730
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to Re: Military Brides and two anniversaries?:
    In Response to Re: Military Brides and two anniversaries? : This I completely  understand but I can also see where OP is coming from.  As you know from your move to live with your H, you had to pay to move everything.  The military didn't do it for you.  No offense to your ideals but, OCONUS moves are a lot more pricey than your move was.  I can see why she would want to be on the orders and not have to pay for her move herself.  You shouldn't make her feel bad about her choice by pushing your ideals on her.  She made a practical, money wise choice and that is what happens to be best for her. anniversary.
    Posted by Sammy0709
    I didn't have to pay for my move.  H was given a set weight amount, and luckily even with my stuff in it we were still under that weight.  We had to pay out of pocket for moving my car, but that was by choice that we shipped it.  H will know soon if we are getting any of the moving pay for me, but we don't know yet.  If not, no big deal, it would just be a bonus.

    The last option in her poll was "you only get one wedding."  Thats what I chose, and I justified my response.  Thats not me pushing my ideals, thats me giving proper advice.  Take this question to the etiquette board and you will get all the same responses that I gave.  Yes, I understand that things are different with a military wedding and move, but regardless, you only get one wedding day.  My suggestion to her was to turn her day on the beach into more of her wedding, and then just throw a party later.  If people want to plan 2 weddings thats their choice, but there are people that will judge you for it and think you look gift grabby.  Like it or not, its the truth. 
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  • Sammy0709Sammy0709
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    edited December 2011

    Um...what poll?  She asked what day she should celebrate her anniversary or if she should celebrate 2 anniversaries.  She didn't ask if she should have a JOP and another ceremony.  She didn't want your opinion on that.  So, yes, you were pushing your opinion on her.

    ETA:  Now I see the poll.  Something is wrong with my internet.  I still think you are kind of closed minded.  There are reasons other than moving, deployments, or being on orders that cause people to have a JOP wedding plus another event that are perfectly valid.

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  • Beachy730Beachy730
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to Re: Military Brides and two anniversaries?:
    Um...what poll?  She asked what day she should celebrate her anniversary or if she should celebrate 2 anniversaries.  She didn't ask if she should have a JOP and another ceremony.  She didn't want your opinion on that.  So, yes, you were pushing your opinion on her. ETA:  Now I see the poll.  Something is wrong with my internet.  I still think you are kind of closed minded.  There are reasons other than moving, deployments, or being on orders that cause people to have a JOP wedding plus another event that are perfectly valid.
    Posted by Sammy0709
    I understand that, and I know most people who have a JOP wedding do it out of necessity.  I don't think there is anything wrong with have a JOP wedding if thats your choice.  And if you want to follow it up down the road with a big party where you host all of your family and friends, great.  I have a problem when you call it your second wedding.  You can only get married once to the same man, unless you get divorced in the meantime.  So whether you are lying to your guests and not telling them that you are already married, or just having 2 weddings with everyone aware of it, I don't think its right.  I don't just feel the same way about people who choose to have Destination Weddings and then throw a huge at home reception with a first dance and cake cutting and what not. 

    I'm sorry, you only get 1 wedding day, and no matter the situation I won't change my mind that you can get a second wedding day where people give you gifts just because you couldn't get it the first time.  Throw a huge party and invite everyone you want.  Thats great and fine.  But don't call it a wedding.  If that makes me closed minded on the issue fine, but I just really think its wrong to throw a 2nd wedding because you didn't get the one you wanted the first time. 
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  • edited December 2011
    Well happy to see some response, weather its what i agree with or not. We have both discussed waiting. He had everything all planned out to propose to me on the seattle space need on our christmas vaca to meet the families. We are located in Florida and his family is from Washington state, mine is from Oregon. There is no way either of our families could afford to fly to florida and his orders are being cut in December so we are choosing a get hitched quick option. My boss is certified through the state of Florida to sign our wedding paperwork, so we are not doing it at the JOP. We are standing on the beach with two witness's and her, saying vows we will write to each other and plan for an actual wedding with the dress, cake and our friends and families for spring or summertime. I think I agree most with:
    "I see no harm in having multiple days in a year where you focus on how much you love the man you're married to, as long as you don't expect other people to care about any of your anniversaries. Anniversaries =/= birthdays. Only the two of you should be making a big deal."
    The day we get married is the day we get married a small intimate promise and commitment to each other
    our wedding day is the cerimony that our friends and families attend to share the connection of our love together.

    I for one am one of the dorks that is like happy month-versary!

    Our anniversary is between us, its not like its a national holiday, we don't exspect others to join in on our personal love celibrations on the days we chose to celibrate. So in conclusion, I will have two special days. :)

    Thanks for all your input, I am happy to have this Military group to bounce ideas off of. :)
    Two uniforms, Two Hearts, One love.
  • Beachy730Beachy730
    5000 Comments Fourth Anniversary Combo Breaker
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to Re: Military Brides and two anniversaries?:
    The day we get married is the day we get married a small intimate promise and commitment to each other our wedding day is the cerimony that our friends and families attend to share the connection of our love together. Posted by SoldierLovesSailor
    This is what bothers me about 2 weddings.  Your wedding on the beach is not a small, intimate promise and committment to each other.  It is a huge committment, this is the day you are committing to each other in marriage.  It is a small wedding based on the number of people, but that doesn't change what the ceremony is.  So are you going to tell the military that you only made a small promise and committment to eachother?  No, you'll tell them you got married.  By saying your wedding isn't until you can celebrate with family and friends implies that your importance lies on having the big party, not on actually marrying your FI. 
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  • edited December 2011
    Like I said before, I am not here looking for support of my decision, just wanted to hear some opinions. You have made your opinion loud and clear. and Yes, it is a small & intimate cerimony with just the two of us the person to sign our papers and our witnesses. My importance is my life with my husband. I like any other bride would like to share those joys with my family, due to our military obligations we cant have our cake and eat it too, hence the two dates.
    I am happy with my choice as it fits the situation we are in. I love my man, and am thankful beyond reason that we can join our lives together.  
    Thank you kindly for sharing your opinion.
    Two uniforms, Two Hearts, One love.
  • edited December 2011
    So if, God forbid, things didn't work out between your FI and you after the beach "commitment" and you didn't want to be together.....would it not be a divorce???


    Then I guess that would make it a wedding, a marriage.....I agree with dnb completely.

  • edited December 2011
    I didn't say it wasn't a marriage ladies. please read above. I said the wedding is a cerimony. the wedding day in my eyes is the day you have the dress, the uniform, the cake and family and friends. to me thats a wedding day, in my eyes. So the beach vows is the start of our marriage.

    Also I like how supportive everyone in here is being. If any lady i knew told me she was getting married i would be happy for them, not be judgemental and discounraging to her wishes.

    Every bride deserves to have the wedding of her dreams. Whatever it is her dreams may be.

    Again, thank you for all of your posts.
    Two uniforms, Two Hearts, One love.
  • Beachy730Beachy730
    5000 Comments Fourth Anniversary Combo Breaker
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    edited December 2011
    Well let me start again.  Congratulations on getting married.  On the beach.  And yes I do believe every bride deserves to have the wedding of her dreams, if thats what she chooses.  If all she can have is a JOP ceremony, then so be it.  Do the people at your fake wedding know that you will already be married, or are you keeping that a secret from everyone but the military?
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  • tendonheadtendonhead
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    edited December 2011
    You asked for opinions online and that means you're going to get different responses. We're all here because we're in the military or marrying into the military so most of us have been through this dilemma. Most people do not get more than one celebration and the popular opinion on your poll was you only get one wedding. That was a choice on your poll so if people chose that option that's their opinion which is what you were asking for. It seems like people use the military as an excuse to have more than one celebration. It would've been much easier and cheaper for me and my fiance to JOP but we wanted a big celebration so we waited and I will have to pay for the move myself but that was our decision. Good luck to you,
  • Beachy730Beachy730
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to Re: Military Brides and two anniversaries?:
    You asked for opinions online and that means you're going to get different responses. We're all here because we're in the military or marrying into the military so most of us have been through this dilemma. Most people do not get more than one celebration and the popular opinion on your poll was you only get one wedding. That was a choice on your poll so if people chose that option that's their opinion which is what you were asking for. It seems like people use the military as an excuse to have more than one celebration. It would've been much easier and cheaper for me and my fiance to JOP but we wanted a big celebration so we waited and I will have to pay for the move myself but that was our decision. Good luck to you,
    Posted by tendonhead
    Well put.  We had to do the same thing, but it was worth it.  And we didn't get any side-eyes for having 2 weddings.

    And I agree that I think too many people use the military as an excuse to break any and all etiquette rules.  Yes we go through more than a lot of brides have to, but that doesn't mean we should feel we are entitled to more weddings or to break rules.  It gives people a bad feeling towards military wives in general. 

    And OP- we had to change our date and rush a our wedding so that we were married before we did or PCS and he got deployed.  It would have been easier and cheaper for us to do a JOP, save some money, and then do a big wedding after his deployment, but that just wasn't right.  So its not that I don't understand your situation.  I just don't think its an excuse to have a second fake wedding, and downplay your wedding. 

    And agreeed, the poll choice of "you only get one wedding" was a vast majority leader.  That should be a hint right there. 
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  • edited December 2011
    Just at thought, I have a military FI who is currently deployed everyone was telling us to get married before he left and not tell anyone and still have our wedding because that way he would get paid more, and that there would be more benefit to me. I only wanted one wedding to FI, and I decided that even if I don't get the benefits of being through the deployment with him, and even if he doesn't get paid as much I will have my one wedding. We are waiting until he gets back, and that is because a wedding is not something that you do multiple times. I would marry FI if he was in the military or not. That has nothing to do with our wedding and our love, I love him because of him.
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  • Beachy730Beachy730
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to Re: Military Brides and two anniversaries?:
    Just at thought, I have a military FI who is currently deployed everyone was telling us to get married before he left and not tell anyone and still have our wedding because that way he would get paid more, and that there would be more benefit to me. I only wanted one wedding to FI, and I decided that even if I don't get the benefits of being through the deployment with him, and even if he doesn't get paid as much I will have my one wedding. We are waiting until he gets back, and that is because a wedding is not something that you do multiple times. I would marry FI if he was in the military or not. That has nothing to do with our wedding and our love, I love him because of him.
    Posted by meganiobe
    Where's the "like" button on this?
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  • calindicalindi
    5000 Comments Second Anniversary Combo Breaker
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    edited December 2011
    I ride the fence on this one in regards to whether or not it is okay to JOP and have a vow renewal and reception later (notice I didn't say "wedding" later).  Usually, I think it's not.  If it's to make an extra $100/month in BAH or for "separation pay" while they're deployed but you aren't going to live together or publically acknowledge yourselves as husband and wife before the deployment, then I feel like you're cheating the military.  You're timing your wedding for financial gain, and that's the truth of it.  I dislike when people feed me the line "He just wants to make sure if anything happens, I'm taken care of."  You can put together a Power of Attorney for ANYONE, and you can put anyone as your recipient of your life insurance policy.

    That said, once in awhile there's a unique case where getting married earlier makes real logical sense but they don't have time to plan a wedding.  Like when they're expecting a child, and he's leaving, and she doesn't have health insurance.  The rule of thumb is usually if you're planning to get married anyway, then it's not a big deal to do it sooner.  And in the case of a child, it makes the whole process a lot less complicated.  But I don't see a need to JOP simply because you can't schedule your dream wedding - there's got to be some pretty serious circumstances.  And I never see a reason to hide that you're married.

    Sure, everyone deserves to have the wedding of their dreams, but that doesn't mean we all can.  People have to make compromises all the time, and not just because of the military.  His mother is dying of cancer?  Your wedding gets moved up, and you end up having a ceremony in a hospital room.  You plan on having a big wedding, but then your car needs to be replaced?  You can't afford what you wanted anymore, so you make changes.  Everyone has to compromise somewhere, and for military brides it often has to do with the scheduling issues of the military.  You have to decide what's most important to you - do you want a big white dress wedding day, or do you want to get married to him sooner?  That's an adult problem that deserves a mature thought process and decision.  When I hear "Every bride deserves to have the wedding of her dreams, whatever it is her dreams may be" it makes me picture this:




    We don't get what we want just because we want it.

    Listen, you want to JOP for whatever reason and still have a reception later?  Cool.  I may not agree with your reasons, but I won't judge you.  But don't pretend you're not married.  Call it a vow renewal like it actually is, and that's it.  People who have destination weddings will often have an At-Home Reception - I don't see it as much different. 

    And what people celebrate is also none of my concern.  You want to celebrate the day he first bought you flowers?  Cool.  But if you post it on Facebook, your friends will likely hide you from their News Feed as I have dozens of times.  Celebrate in your own in private on one, and have the anniversary of the day you ACTUALLY got married be your public anniversary.

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  • edited December 2011
    Congrats to you on your upcoming wedding!!! Take this as you want (sorry if that sounded rude), but this is what me and my husband did. We did a JOP wedding in March because I started having a bunch of medical issues and my job wasn't giving me insurance and he wanted to make sure that I'm taken care of while he's deployed. We are still having the big ceremony and reception that we originally planned for next summer so that we can celebrate with our friends and family there, but instead we are renewing our vows. IMO, it kinda makes planning a little less stressful now because we already said I do, plus wedding planning is keeping me busy while he's gone. We are also like the one girl that posted on here that not only celebrate our wedding anniversary, we also celebrate the silly, cute little things like our first date, the date we said I love you, the date we closed on our house, etc.
  • edited December 2011

    Do whatever makes you happy....only opinion I have is I disagree with what a PP said that you shouldn't have a cake cutting or first dance or the stuff you do at a traditional wedding.  I have seen vow renewals where the couple do all the traditional wedding stuff from cake cutting to the first dance, to even boquet tossing.  The only thing I would recommed not doing is regestering for gifts it may look gift grabby...if someone offers to buy you something then cool but that's another story :)

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  • LaurelindorenLaurelindoren
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    edited December 2011
    My husband and I got married in a court house while he was on mid tour leave. I am now planning our formal wedding ceremony. We will probably end up celebrating them both.
  • Sammy0709Sammy0709
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    edited December 2011

    I was thinking about the gift grabby comments.  We are having a vow renewal that is going to have all the parts of a traditional wedding because my mom was all butt hurt that I didn't do the white dress, cake cutting, first dance, party with the family thing.  Because people know we are married but may still view this as us trying to have a second wedding to get gifts that we didn't for our civil ceremony, we are asking that in lieu of gifts donations be made to St. Jude's hospital.  That way for those that don't view us as gift grabby won't get us something we don't need and those that would see it as gift grabby know we aren't expecting to get gifts.

    The fact that my mom is the one that wants this fancy event and that H and I are doing this without expecting gifts is really why I got fired up in the first place.  Blanket statements about people really irritate me.

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  • Beachy730Beachy730
    5000 Comments Fourth Anniversary Combo Breaker
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    edited December 2011
    I just want to point out that a vow renewal is a different even than a 2nd wedding.  You want to renew your vows, great.  Throw a party and feed me and serve me drinks, I'll be there.  I would probably wonder why you were doing a "first" dance though since you're already married and I would assumed its not really your first dance together as a married couple.  But its your vow renewal, do what you want. 

    The difference with a vow renewal and a 2nd wedding is that you aren't lying to your guests or misleading them by calling it a wedding.  You are already married, so all you can do is renew your vows anyways.  You can't remarry the same person without a divorce in between.  People can choose whether they want to give you gifts or not.  I definitely don't think anyone should register for a vow renewal though. 

    My point is, its all about what you call it and how you word the invites.  Calling it a 2nd wedding, our your real wedding day, is just wrong.  You only get 1 wedding day regardless of how you celebrate it.  Anything else after that should be a vow renewal and should be called such.
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  • tendonheadtendonhead
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    edited December 2011

    You may also want to check with your officiant to make sure they will marry you. Some officiants will NOT "Marry" you if you're already married.

  • Beachy730Beachy730
    5000 Comments Fourth Anniversary Combo Breaker
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to Re: Military Brides and two anniversaries?:
    any one can have as many wedding and wedding days as they want.. Legally lol Their is no limit to how many times you get legally married... My airman and i have joked that we should attempt to get married in all 50 states From what we have discussed about the idea of two wedding dates... if we do a JOP first then that will be our secret day. we will just be able to have our own little anniversary to celebrate and our official wedding day would be the only day that anyone else would ever know of.
    Posted by jfg4u4@yahoo.com
    You almost were more respectable in the other thread, even though I didn't get half of what you were trying to say.  Seriously, the bolded part just makes you a horrible person.  You are going to marry your boyfriend, and keep it a secret?  After you just posted in the same thread how you're a Christian and marriage is not to be taken lightly?  WTH do you think getting married and lying about it is?  What do your Christian values teach you about lying to everyone you know and keeping a sacred a vow a secret?  If that's not hypocracy at its best, I don't know what is. 
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  • calindicalindi
    5000 Comments Second Anniversary Combo Breaker
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    edited December 2011
    Some people think you shouldn't JOP and then have a vow renewal that functions as a traditional wedding (complete with white dress, cake, first dance, etc.).  I'm personally, as I've said before, not of that opinion.  I view JOP and then a vow renewal similar to destination weddings that have an at-home reception after - there's a different set of etiquette, but it's still fine if you choose to do it.

    What I will NEVER understand is the desire to be married in secret.  If you feel the need to JOP due to time constraints or whatever, then cool.  But don't pretend you're not married.  And if you're going to pretend you're not married, don't you DARE try to claim benefits from the military.

    You're either married or you're not.  Sure, you can say vows as many times as you want, but that's not the point - once you're married to the man, you'll stay married unless you divorce.  So yes, you can say "I do" as many times as you want, but you won't be MORE married.

    So be married, or don't be.  Either be all the way married, or don't be at all.  Because the only reason I can possibly see to JOP and NOT tell your family is so you can get military benefits (relocation cost, base housing, BAH, dependent pay, DEERS, TriCare, military ID, etc.).  And that is lying, deceitful, and against military policy.  Yep, that's right, to get married for the benefits is against policy and punishable by demotion or expulsion from service.  Sure, you're getting married also because you love each other, so you're not going to get brought up on charges.  But it's against the spirit of the policy - if you aren't telling your family and friends that you are married, yet accepting benefits from the military, you're essentially married just for the benefits.

    If you don't believe me, ask any JAG Officer.  Those are the lawyers for the military... yeah, I live with one.

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  • calindicalindi
    5000 Comments Second Anniversary Combo Breaker
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to Re: Military Brides and two anniversaries?:
    realized a portion of my post sounds as if i supported those who wouldget married for benifits purpose and would like to clairify that i do not and feel that this is wrong. I have grown up in the military (my father was army until retiring at age 60) and agree that this is an improper use of what the military provides for its service members and their dependents.
    Posted by jfg4u4@yahoo.com
    I understand you don't believe you're getting married earlier just for the benefits, and I do understand that sometimes there are circumstances that make it much easier to JOP before you're able to plan a traditional wedding.

    What I don't understand is why you'd consider keeping it secret.  Why not just tell your families and friends about what you're doing and why you're doing it?

    If you aren't telling your family and friends, I don't think it's right to tell the military and expect them to treat you as a married couple (complete with military benefits) when you're not portraying yourselves as a married couple to the general population.

    If you want to get married and keep it a secret, please keep it a secret from the military, also, until the time when you consider yourselves married.

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  • Beachy730Beachy730
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    edited December 2011
    JFG- I just don't get you at all.  You sit here in one sentence and and say that as engagement is legally binding, and you don't take marriage lightly.  Then in your next post you say that you are going to JOP it and keep it a secret from all of your family and friends.  Your exact words:

    " if we do a JOP first then that will be our secret day. we will just be able to have our own little anniversary to celebrate and our official wedding day would be the only day that anyone else would ever know of. "

    So please, if I have you all wrong as you claim that I do, please further explain.  Because your posts make no sense to me.  Spelling and punctuation play a key role in being taken seriously, and looking like an adult on a public message board.  You type the way my high school students write, which leads me to believe you are very young.

    I do not understand what your legal binding engagement is, and  how that plays a role in your JOP wedding that is going to be a secret from everyone you know.  Because I am not understanding your situation at all apparently, and you seem to think what you are doing is completely respectable.  So please further explain. 
    image BabyFruit Ticker
  • alolesonaloleson
    First Comment
    member
    edited December 2011
    I am a military wife, my husband and I got married before he left for BMT. We got married at the JOP, and we are having a VOW RENEWAL instead of another wedding. It is going to the have a dress, a big reception, uniforms, and so on. There are going to be some things we are doing with out since we are technically already married. We didn't keep it a secret, yet embraced it. We sent out announcements letting everyone know that we were married that way we weren't hiding it from anyone and no one would have hurt feelings. For us, it was important to be married prior to him leaving. For some people it is not. It is a LOT easier now that we are married and I have a say in a lot more. We will always celebrate our "real" wedding anniversary and we may celebrate our vow renewal since it will be such a celebration. Congratulations! :)
  • calindicalindi
    5000 Comments Second Anniversary Combo Breaker
    member
    edited December 2011
    In Response to Re: Military Brides and two anniversaries?:
    I am a military wife, my husband and I got married before he left for BMT. We got married at the JOP, and we are having a VOW RENEWAL instead of another wedding. It is going to the have a dress, a big reception, uniforms, and so on. There are going to be some things we are doing with out since we are technically already married. We didn't keep it a secret, yet embraced it. We sent out announcements letting everyone know that we were married that way we weren't hiding it from anyone and no one would have hurt feelings. For us, it was important to be married prior to him leaving. For some people it is not. It is a LOT easier now that we are married and I have a say in a lot more. We will always celebrate our "real" wedding anniversary and we may celebrate our vow renewal since it will be such a celebration. Congratulations! :)
    Posted by aloleson

    Congratulations, and best wishes on your vow renewal!  I'm so glad to see someone who managed to do this rather controversial process (understatement of the day) with honesty and class.

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    Anniversary

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