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I Want To Scream (piog)

My first REAL vent and it is LONG!!!! 

OMG... this is why I wanted to do this wedding ON OUR OWN... me and FI never asked anyone for help.  As a matter of fact we didn't and still really don't expect any help from anyone.  Well, my side is giving us $400...Great!

Fi's mom, well she volunteered to make the linens for the tables.  She offered without me asking her.  And then even more, she atucally BOUGHT the material as I was expecting to chip in but she just went ahead and bought it.  She asked me what I liked,and we talked about it at length.  Then she went ahead and got linens that I didn't really want at first but then really ended up liking.  

Then she asked me what color for the overlays.  She even asked me for a swatch (piece of material I had in the blue I wanted).  Guess what?  She went out today and bought the material in a MUCH darker blue than what I wanted.  Too dark for what I was looking for.  SHe didn't even tell me she was going to get the material... she completely disregarded the material in the color she asked me to give her (why ask for my opinion and choice if you are going to ignore it).  I told her I didn't like it.  Now I feel like a spoiled brat baby and ungrateful because she went out of her way to do this for me and spent a bit of money too and she can't return it.  It's not what I wanted but now I might have to use it and just say to hell with it and what I want.

She is acting like this is her wedding when it comes to this stuff and I just don't see why she even bothers asking me my opinions if she won't listen and only get what she likes.  She kept saying "but you told me you wanted navy/royal blue".  Yes, I did but she also knew I didn't want it too dark and then she had the color I wanted in a swatch to use as an example. 

 I sometimes wish she hadn't offered to do this.   Not sure what to do now.  What would you do?  Ugh. 

 I feel terrible.   And I know she feels bad too because she spent her money trying to help me and I am acting like a biatch.  She was saying how "she (meaning ME) doesn't like it but that she's not buying any more material and maybe she'll donate the material to the church and maybe I can just use the white material, etc..."  Mind you, I never asked her to do this yet I am now the bad guy because she picked a color SHE liked that I don't.

I mean really though, does the blue have to match all throughout the wedding?  Does the dresses have to match the linens?  I don't know anymore. 
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Re: I Want To Scream (piog)

  • Well I asked Fi hat color blue he liked (my swatch) or the blue fmil bought (the super dark blue).  He likes the super dark blue.  Paired with the white linens, he likes it better.  So I guess I'll be using fmil's dark blue.  I feel.... weird.  Not sure how I feel... I felt maybe I over-reacted to the dark blue too quickly andnow I feel bad.  Even though it's not what I wanted, I should have just grinned and nodded. Ugh.
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  • RamonaFlowersRamonaFlowers
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Third Anniversary Name Dropper
    member
    edited May 2012
    In Response to I Want To Scream (piog):
    My first REAL vent and it is LONG!!!!  OMG... this is why I wanted to do this wedding ON OUR OWN... me and FI never asked anyone for help.  As a matter of fact we didn't and still really don't expect any help from anyone.  Well, my side is giving us $400...Great! Fi's mom, well she volunteered to make the linens for the tables.  She offered without me asking her.  And then even more, she atucally BOUGHT the material as I was expecting to chip in but she just went ahead and bought it.  She asked me what I liked,and we talked about it at length.  Then she went ahead and got linens that I didn't really want at first but then really ended up liking.   Then she asked me what color for the overlays.  She even asked me for a swatch (piece of material I had in the blue I wanted).  Guess what?  She went out today and bought the material in a MUCH darker blue than what I wanted.  Too dark for what I was looking for.  SHe didn't even tell me she was going to get the material... she completely disregarded the material in the color she asked me to give her (why ask for my opinion and choice if you are going to ignore it).  I told her I didn't like it.  Now I feel like a spoiled brat baby and ungrateful because she went out of her way to do this for me and spent a bit of money too and she can't return it.  It's not what I wanted but now I might have to use it and just say to hell with it and what I want. She is acting like this is her wedding when it comes to this stuff and I just don't see why she even bothers asking me my opinions if she won't listen and only get what she likes.  She kept saying "but you told me you wanted navy/royal blue".  Yes, I did but she also knew I didn't want it too dark and then she had the color I wanted in a swatch to use as an example.   I sometimes wish she hadn't offered to do this.   Not sure what to do now.  What would you do?  Ugh.   I feel terrible.   And I know she feels bad too because she spent her money trying to help me and I am acting like a biatch.  She was saying how "she (meaning ME) doesn't like it but that she's not buying any more material and maybe she'll donate the material to the church and maybe I can just use the white material, etc..."  Mind you, I never asked her to do this yet I am now the bad guy because she picked a color SHE liked that I don't. I mean really though, does the blue have to match all throughout the wedding?  Does the dresses have to match the linens?  I don't know anymore. 
    Posted by librababy

    Honestly, it's table linens. Something that absolutely nobody but you will actually going to be looking to see if they don't exactly match the BM dresses. So yes, you're definitely over-reacting if you are seriously this upset that the ones your FMIL volunteered to make for you free of charge are "the wrong shade of blue". Maybe she did disregard your color choice ... but fabric can get incredibly pricey, so it's very likely that the stuff she bought was worked out to be way cheaper than anything she could find in your exact color. It's not like she even picked a completely different color on you, it's still a shade of blue-I don't even have to see the 2 colors to know that it will look fine together.

    Andplusalso, if you wanted "navy/royal blue", I'm not really sure how something could be "too dark". Navy blue is pretty much as dark as it gets in the blue family.

    *I felt sorry for my husband before I met him. Take a number.*
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