Recommendations for honeymoon registry

sjmchambers

My FI and I are doing two registries for our two loves -- cooking and traveling.  Any recommendations on which honeymoon registry to use?  Thanks!

frogurt814

I don't have a recommendation, but I would like to advise against the honeymoon registry. 

sjmchambers

Our honeymoon registry is the "must" registry.  We already live together and have most of the usual registry stuff already.  All of our family and friends are very familiar with our love of traveling and think it's an awesome idea.

frogurt814

....well good luck with that.

WeddingBelleCR

I used MyRegistry.com.  You can use their free cash gift fund service to create your Honeymoon Fund.  You can also make your gift list on this site as well, and add items to your registry from any store in the world...which could be extremely helpful if you are looking to exclusively set up a wish list for your love of cooking!

strlzfan11

I don't recomment a honeymoon registry, but if you are sold on having one I've heard that Honey Fund is only one that doesn't charge you or your guests a fee.  Just make sure you can cover the cost of your plane tickets and accommodations and just register for excursions.  It will be better receieved (even though I'm of the opinion that asking people to pay for a trip you can't otherwise afford is just as bad as asking your parents to pay for your wedding).

trix1223

My recommendation is don't do a HM registry.

sjmchambers

Thank you, but I am not asking for recommendations on whether or not to do it.  Simply the question is if anyone has recommendations for sites to use (or not to use, as the case may be). 

MNVegas

Why not just use the cash gifts you receive and put that money toward your travel plans? Why do you need a website that may charge fees to collect cash gifts from your guests? I mean it's not like they are actually buying you a gift from the HM registry, which is deceitful in itself. Registry is just cutting you a check.

If all your family and friends know you love traveling, then they will give you cash anyway without you asking for it, right?

sjmchambers

MNVegas, I definetely agree with your idea, and that's what I initially wanted to do.  But we needed something where we can collect some of the funds before the honeymoon itself.  BTW, I love that picture...very cute.

quotequeen

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_recommendations-honeymoon-registry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:a557868c-a7de-4f7a-968e-b1be9a6fc85bPost:d1534454-4966-4384-a193-592649e0eaa1">Re: Recommendations for honeymoon registry</a>:
[QUOTE]MNVegas, I definetely agree with your idea, and that's what I initially wanted to do.  <strong>But we needed something where we can collect some of the funds before the honeymoon itself. </strong> BTW, I love that picture...very cute.
Posted by sjmchambers[/QUOTE]

You should never plan a trip that you can't afford on your own, without gifts.  This is as bad as counting on cash gifts to be able to pay for your wedding.

sjmchambers

Again, I would appreciate responses only answering the question asked (i.e. where and how, not should we).  The point itself is decided. 

Best,
SM

strlzfan11

I still don't recommend honeymoon registries (especially one where you're obviously trying to finance a trip you can't afford), but a travel agent may be able to assist you better than any of us can.  A travel agent might be able book them items on your registry directly for you instead of just cutting you a check.

BTW...there's no need to be rude to the posters who took the time to thoughtfully respond to your question.  Just because we don't agree with your decision to have a honeymoon registry doesn't mean we aren't trying to be helpful.

ebonyivory10

Why not just cut out the middle man of the HM registry and ask for cash directly, or have a dollar dance at the reception? 

quotequeen

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_recommendations-honeymoon-registry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:a557868c-a7de-4f7a-968e-b1be9a6fc85bPost:d2a05796-61e5-40be-b618-cac9d2e6111c">Re: Recommendations for honeymoon registry</a>:
[QUOTE]Again, I would appreciate responses only answering the question asked (i.e. where and how, not should we).  The point itself is decided.  Best, SM
Posted by sjmchambers[/QUOTE]

Sorry, you don't get to dictate how people respond on a public message board.  If you ask "how do I best do XYZ rude thing?" people are going to respond with "you don't."

sjmchambers

No intention of being rude, just asking for a direct answer that is helpful, which your recommendations have been (i.e. that comment wasn't directed at you). 

sjmchambers

And does the dollar dance involve stripping?  I have never heard of that but it sounds like an entertaining idea hahaha

strlzfan11

A dollar dance is where people pay money to dance with the bride and groom during the reception (and sometimes includes shots of alcohol depending on where you're from).  The only time I would suggest someone having one is if it's culturally expected in one's circle.

sjmchambers

Oh wow...I have never heard of that!  That's a definite negatory.  Besides, I'll be lucky to get one dance out of the groom.  He just doesn't do that.  haha

pandasquishy

Honeymoon registries are in poor tastes and some of your guests will judge you for having one.  You should plan a honeymoon you can afford.  Fancy honeymoon's are not mandatory, you know.  A simple long weekend can be just as nice as two weeks on a beach somewhere.  

fallbride1109

We used Traveler's Joy and were really happy with it.  It is set up exactly like a traditional registry.

Honeyfund is popular, but guests do not actually purchase any gifts.  They can only deposit money into your Paypal account, or bring the cash to your wedding or shower with a Honey Fund "gift certificate" that says what they are giving you.  So in the end, they are just giving you the money directly, they are not really buying anything. 

I strongly suggest you also do a traditional registry if someone is going to throw you a bridal shower.  No one wants to sit around watching you open up cards.  The sticky at the top of this forum has some great suggestions on what to register for when you think you don't need anything.

The reason people don't like HM registries is because they are not used the way they were intended.  The purpose is to receive actual gifts to enjoy on the honeymoon, not to fund the trip itself.  We planned a trip we could afford 100% on our own, THEN set up the registry, not the other way around.  Also, we did not register for our room or our flight--only extras like dinners, excursions, etc.  Saying things like "We need the money before the HM" is off putting to most people and infers that you expect your guests to fund your trip, instead of purchasing a gift for you to enjoy, which is why alot of people don't support HM registries.

sjmchambers

Stephiehall and Retread bride,

Thank you for the great recommendations!  We enjoyed doing the small registry for other fun house stuff, but since we already have an established household and are definetely "memories are more important that stuff" people, we figured why not try to enhance that week in Maui or wherever (we'll be going whether or not we get that spa treatment, etc. LOL).  So thanks Steph for clarifying what I obviously meant to imply, however poorly, earlier.    I'll probably be in touch with you ladies!

fallbride1109

I did a small traditional registry of upgrades, crystal, etc. for my shower--and I received every single thing off of it.  No matter how appealing you make a HM registry, there will be people that prefer to buy a traditional gift, especially for a shower.

I am an older bride (40) and my husband and I both owned our homes and merged 2 complete households.  I still found things to register for.

Feel free to PM me with any questions about the HM registry.  If done correctly, it can be alot of fun and appealing to your guests.

flutgrl1

honeyfund.com or travelersjoy.com

I love HM's. Don't mind the hate for them on this board!

jemmini6

Just saying...I don't think you were rude to ask that people answer the question you asked.  Sure, it's their right to throw in opinions here and there, but I'm of the opinion that if you don't have anything useful to add, esepecially a snotty opinion about whether you think it's tacky or not, then maybe you shouldn't say anything at all.  There are plenty of threads on here that ask for advise on whether or not to do one...this wasn't one of them.

Anyways, I've heard a lot of people recommend honeyfund.com.  I'd have to ask my friend which one they used, but theirs was nice too that all of their items were broken into $20 increments (not sure if they all do this), so you could buy $20 worth of their parasailing, and $20 worth of their scuba lessons.  Yes...I am well aware that they don't have to use the money as you've allocated it, but I think it's a fun idea to know what they are planning to do, and to help give them those experiences.  It's more interesting than just giving them cash, at least you feel like you are being somewhat "thoughful" about it.

sjmchambers

Thanks, ladies!  Now I'm feeling a bit more relieved and have some good ideas to start working with.  And it may sound odd, but if Martha Stewart says it's ok, then it's good enough for me! 

aplatanada

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_recommendations-honeymoon-registry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:a557868c-a7de-4f7a-968e-b1be9a6fc85bPost:b69c87ae-5d28-4ddb-adcc-0027fb9f6b22">Re: Recommendations for honeymoon registry</a>:
[QUOTE]We used Traveler's Joy and were really happy with it.  It is set up exactly like a traditional registry. Honeyfund is popular, but guests do not actually purchase any gifts.  They can only deposit money into your Paypal account, or bring the cash to your wedding or shower with a Honey Fund "gift certificate" that says what they are giving you.  So in the end, they are just giving you the money directly, they are not really buying anything.  I strongly suggest you also do a traditional registry if someone is going to throw you a bridal shower.  No one wants to sit around watching you open up cards.  The sticky at the top of this forum has some great suggestions on what to register for when you think you don't need anything. <strong>The reason people don't like HM registries is because they are not used the way they were intended.  The purpose is to receive actual gifts to enjoy on the honeymoon, not to fund the trip itself.</strong>  We planned a trip we could afford 100% on our own, THEN set up the registry, not the other way around.  Also, we did not register for our room or our flight--only extras like dinners, excursions, etc.  Saying things like "We need the money before the HM" is off putting to most people and infers that you expect your guests to fund your trip, instead of purchasing a gift for you to enjoy, which is why alot of people don't support HM registries.
Posted by stephiehall[/QUOTE]

This is exactly why I don't like them. I "gave a gift" of fruity drinks to a friend.  When they got back from their honeymoon, I asked about the fruity drinks and she looked at me like I was crazy- she had no idea what I was talking about, even though she had "registered" for them. Had I known that it was just a mechanism for asking for money, I would have saved the processing fee and written them a check.

dovesweet07

We used Honeyfund.com and also set up small registries at Macys and Crate&Barrel. Although we tried to stress that we would prefer for ppl to get stuff from the honeyfund most people used the other registries and also bought things that were not on the registries. For the shower, I think people like to see you open physical gifts from them.
I'm thinking the honeyfund might get more traffic for the wedding gifts, but at that point the honeymoon will already be paid for.
I like the honeyfund because it doesnt charge you fees unless people pay by credit card, in which case the bride/groom pay a 3% fee, which isnt much at all.

sjmchambers

Aplatanata -- Oh, that's disappointing about them not realizing who bought what!  That's what I'm trying to avoid (and seeing about some of these sites now).  Do you happen to remember which site they used?
Dovesweet07 -- Thanks for the rec on honeyfund.  It's coming pretty highly recommended now, so that's good.  And I agree with you on the shower gifts vs. wedding present issue.  Thanks again!

fallbride1109

I only got one thing off my HM registry for my shower.  Like I said, people don't want to watch you open up cards.

We documented our trip and put pictures of everything we did on the trip on our website.  We also mentioned every gift in our TY cards.  There were only a couple of things we were not able to do on the trip (i.e. surf lessons because of the high, rough surf) and if we allocated the money to something else (like our couple's massage), we told our guests.

It can be done correctly and tastefully.  And it's the responsibility of the bride and groom to do so. 

jemmini6

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_recommendations-honeymoon-registry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:a557868c-a7de-4f7a-968e-b1be9a6fc85bPost:4c462d40-4a03-4bae-a0f9-448c09548cea">Re: Recommendations for honeymoon registry</a>:
[QUOTE]I only got one thing off my HM registry for my shower.  Like I said, people don't want to watch you open up cards. We documented our trip and put pictures of everything we did on the trip on our website.  We also mentioned every gift in our TY cards.  There were only a couple of things we were not able to do on the trip (i.e. surf lessons because of the high, rough surf) and if we allocated the money to something else (like our couple's massage), we told our guests. It  can be done correctly and tastefully.  And it's the responsibility of the bride and groom to do so. 
Posted by stephiehall[/QUOTE]

My thoughts exactly.  I hate when people use the excuse that it's like lying because they just cut you a check.  If I honestly thought someone who I gave a gift to from a HM registry would just lie about doing ANYTHING off their list (I get that sometimes conditions or time make it impossible to do everything), then  obviously you have other issues with that couple and the HM registry is just your excuse to call them 'tacky'.

Heck, I even did the same thing for my college graduation.  My BF took me to Hawaii and my mom threw a Hawaiian themed grad party and told everyone that I wanted cash to use for my vacation.  I printed out a bunch of random pics from our trip and putone of them in everyone's thank you cards and thanked them for helping to make my graduation trip special.