New name for Personal Attendant

nuggetandfries

hlstrean

I'm shocked at how many people are so mean on this board! It's really too bad people are so negative!   If you were able to involve all your friends as bridesmaids-I'm sure that would be a pretty ridiculous wedding party size.  I know its not possible to please everyone on your wedding and having to choose is hard.  I've decided to go with 6 and if I could and it was acceptable I could easily have 12 but lets get real here.

There are small duties that are tough to accomplish for the "bridal party" since they have to get ready, pictures etc and the reality of it is that you trust your other friends to help make sure some of those other things get done.  Who would be able to run to the reception hall and make sure everything got delivered and looks good prior to the ceremony? or pick something up you may have forgotten but don't have time to go home and get?  I think if you provide a huge list to them-yes, that is taking advantage but the reality is although your BM's will help out there are sometimes other things that come up.  All weddings I've ever been to and been a part of have always had personal attendants-it is not a glamorous job but it's how you treat that person or people and make sure to appreciate them just as much if not more than your BM's.  As for a name, I also was at a loss and did lots of googling but Im taking my friends out to dinner and asking them that way.  I'm not assigning it to one but asking 3 who are all close and they can then do it together and would have met up prior to my ceremony anyway. 

Hope all worked out well for you on your day

tricbrysk

I didn't realize that there were so many hard feelings around being personal attendant, but I can understand why when it involves being "cut" from the bridesmaid list. From personal experience: I wasn't given a role in my cousin/very dear friend's wedding. It sort of broke my heart, but she had a lot of people to choose from. Her three sisters were her bridesmaids, understandably. But I would have been so, so thrilled if she had asked me to be her personal attendant. (Heck - a reading - or guest book duty would have sufficed.) So I guess it depends on your relationship and your perspective. In some situations it is perfectly understandable to be offended; in others, notsomuch.

The original poster's question is relevant to me because the person I've asked to be my personal attendant is a very dear *male* friend. Could he have been a groomsman or usher? Yes, but my fiance has friends too and three of four groomsmen are already from my family. Male bridesmaid? Sure! But my goal was to select a role that would make him most comfortable. I don't want him to be my b!tch, I just want him to be included and recognized for how much I value our friendship. (If anyone still thinks this was a bad idea, please do tell me. I've never been PA before so I don't know what it's like. If you would be offended then maybe he was offended too, and I still have time to rectify the situation.)

So with that in mind, does anyone have any helpful responses to the original poster's question?

tricbrysk

Darn on page 2 there actually are some helpful suggestions. Sorry! I might use Honor Attendant, I like that! I'm also glad to see some responders who didn't judge.

smithwedding97

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_new-name-for-personal-attendant?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:46501ddb-3450-4228-804a-8846917e5169Post:580123c4-ec7d-49e9-950b-bbef6e21f4fa">New name for Personal Attendant</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm having one of my good girlfriends be my personal attendant but I absolutely hate the name "personal attendant". I want her to feel like she is a special part of my bridal party and not my assistant. Anyone have any cute suggestions for a different title?
Posted by hlstrean[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div>I know you posted this a while ago but I wanted to let you know not EVERYONE disagrees with you. I am in the same boat as you, I have a friend that I want in my wedding but we are not really close enough to have her up front during the ceremony. She will be my personal attendant and was HONORED to be asked! When I asked her to do this honor I asked her if she would be willing to be my right hand lady on my wedding day. I told her she has always been great at calming me down when I am freaking out, has a great eye for detail, and has always been able to see my visions so I would be honored if she would be my "lady in waiting" to be my rock and support on the day I will need it most. She did not think of her role as being my "b!tch", "slave", "lackey", or any other negative name at all and was honored I thought she knew me well enough to know she can help in a bind!
</div><div>Ive always thought of the MOH and bridesmaids as the ones that help with wedding stuff and the personal attentdant helps me personally. Thats just my opinion.</div><div>Hope the title "lady in waiting" helps as that is the old fashion term for the position</div>

buckberg

Wow some of these posts are harsh.. I"m in the same spot you are with the PAs, I have too many girls I want in my bridal party so I"m planning on having multiple PAs. I don't want them doing all the bitch work, they will be treated like bridesmaids although not standing up with my at the alter. I didn't think that was a bad idea.. Everything I have researched has been positive about having them! Basically any girls you trust helping you out and with organizing is who you want. As for another name, not sure but thats a good idea to call it something different!! 

kmmssg

You resurrected a several months old thread to validate yourself?  PA's are rude to the extreme.

NYCBruin

@KnotPorscha can we do something about these zombie threads?

@buckberg what "positives" are there to being told "you're not good enough to be a bridesmaid, but please do work for me"?

Simply Fated

See what I mean? NO ONE resurrects these threads to disagree with the OP. It's always to validate the OP's bad idea and try to call the rest of us out on our "rude" or "harsh" posts. Always.
There is no way we've turned into WWpt2 this fast.