So last weekend my fiance's sister called and said they were going dress shopping and asked if I wanted to come along. I thought it was so sweet of her and was really looking forward to it.
I could tell his mom was getting stressed that she doesn't have a dress (wedding is in 4 weeks), but she also refused to try anything on. She really wants a blue dress. I have been trying to keep anything and everything blue as far from my wedding as possible (colors: eggplant/plum and charcoal), and I even had a bout with my mom over her more violet/blue-ish dress when she told me it was purple. I've since given that up, but even after telling his sister and mom this they BOTH continued to look for navy dresses.
So after 3 department stores and one formalwear store no one had anything. Then his sister proclaimed that she wanted to go to the juniors section to find a dress because she's shorter. This would be okay...except that she's 35 (with 2 kids), and quite busty. The only 'rules' I had really set for their dresses were that they were at least knee length, preferably longer, not strapless, and not too tight. While this dress would be okay for a tall, skinny, 15 year old at homecoming...I can't even imagine her wearing something like this to my semi-formal wedding in an old gothic church, with the reception at a private club (a business club, not a nightclub!!)! But I don't want to be *that* control-freak bride, so I just don't know how to tell her I'd prefer if she found a new dress. Can I? Should I ask my fiance to talk to her?
As far as his mother goes, I've sent a few dress ideas to his sister hoping she will pass them on because his mother doesn't use computers/internet, and even tried hinting that a pewter colored dress could also look really nice. I'm not sure how to talk to her about her dress, since I know she's already stressed out, but my own mother has offered to call and talk to her about it -- should I let her? (they aren't close, they've only met twice due to living 1500 miles apart)
I'm trying really hard to be chill about it all (not my nature at all), not to make waves, and just encouraging everyone to be comfortable and be themselves. Underlying culture differences between our families have already caused a lot of strife and I just get the feeling that his family is quite disappointed with the entire wedding and possibly me as his bride. But we are paying a lot for the photographer (who is quite talented), the photos will be what we have in the future, and if the color scheme is all off from the wedding and clashing, or someone looks like they're going to party at a night club it will really throw the photos off, and there's nothing a good photographer can do about that!
Thanks for the help!!