Alternative to Dollar Dance?

brownhenry

Dollar dances must be a North-Eastern thing because I have only been to two wedding in my whole life without it. The family usually goes and dances with the bride and groom. Its a nice gesture the money usually goes towards the HM. And no  one forces the guests to do it. Infact I know a lot of times people in my area won't buy gifts they just kinda expect the dollar dance and they will give you a nice amount of money as a gift. And someone is sitting there writing down who gives money so the guesture is not going un-noticed.

skippylouwho

I've never seen anyone write down who gives money during a dollar dance so that must be regional too. 

caracbeara

omg! So many harsh feelings on here.

My family is Polish and it's expected that we do a dollar dance. I wasn't going to, but it's something that all the relatives remember excitedly from their weddings and have encouraged me to do it. I will wear a babushka on my head and will dance with people to polka music. People who give money always fold up the bills into little origami designs.

The tradition has changed a bit since the generation before me. Now the groom participates too and often people receive a free shot of flavored liquor for dancing.

At the end of the dollar dance all the men create a chain link circle around the bride and try to keep the groom away from here. Then the groom "busts" through the circle and picks up the bride and rescues her by carrying her away.

It's super cheesy but my whole family LOVES IT (especially the older people).


Careful not to quickly dismiss some traditions. For me, this one certainly means more than getting cash!

janedoe1113a

No is against the dollar dance if it's common in your area and that's what your family and tradition expects.

This person doesn't seem to be doing the dollar dance just for tradition though since she's looking for alternatives.  She seems to be doing it just for the money, hence all the snarkiness.

handfast4me

I think that there was at least one reply that said something about dancing for money being bad.  I actually responded to that post, above, last post on the first page of responses.   Because, as I alluded to, professional ballet dancers might have problem with that statement. 

So, yes, if it's a tradition, or is common practice in your area, it's fine. 

jmestrrlvr1

Another cute way to do this is to put a money tree on your guest book table.  It's usually a little wire tree with clips at the ends in which guests may put money, pictures, little notes, etc. 
You could also make it fun by putting out a little wedding piggy bank on your gift table.  For example, a pink piggy with big red lips and a veil.  Make a little sign that says something like "Spare change for honeymoon fund"
The great thing about the money dance is it gives everyone a chance to dance with the bride...even if it's only for a dollar!  It is a fun way to get to see most people at your wedding and it's always great to have cash on hand for your honeymoon. 
This should really only be for fun though...if you have expecatations about an amount that you want to get, not only might you be dissapointed, but you would also be a little tacky. 

[Deleted User]

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_alternative-dollar-dance?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:36Discussion:9cdf9639-36b3-4198-9ca5-e42f2aa1f7bdPost:79e27db5-9605-460f-baff-f925a6179efe">Re: Alternative to Dollar Dance?</a>:
[QUOTE]Another cute way to do this is to put a money tree on your guest book table.  It's usually a little wire tree with clips at the ends in which guests may put money, pictures, little notes, etc.  You could also make it fun by putting out a little wedding piggy bank on your gift table.  For example, a pink piggy with big red lips and a veil.  Make a little sign that says something like "Spare change for honeymoon fund" The great thing about the money dance is it gives everyone a chance to dance with the bride...even if it's only for a dollar!  It is a fun way to get to see most people at your wedding and it's always great to have cash on hand for your honeymoon.  This should really only be for fun though...<strong>if you have expecatations about an amount that you want to get, not only might you be dissapointed, but you would also be a little tacky. 
</strong>Posted by jmestrrlvr1[/QUOTE]

It's not the expectation about amounts that makes requests for money tacky. It's the request for money itself.

MyNameIsNot

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_alternative-dollar-dance?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:36Discussion:9cdf9639-36b3-4198-9ca5-e42f2aa1f7bdPost:79e27db5-9605-460f-baff-f925a6179efe">Re: Alternative to Dollar Dance?</a>:
[QUOTE]Another cute way to do this is to put a money tree on your guest book table.  It's usually a little wire tree with clips at the ends in which guests may put money, pictures, little notes, etc.  You could also make it fun by putting out a little wedding piggy bank on your gift table.  For example, a pink piggy with big red lips and a veil.  Make a little sign that says something like "Spare change for honeymoon fund" The great thing about the money dance is it gives everyone a chance to dance with the bride...even if it's only for a dollar!  It is a fun way to get to see most people at your wedding and it's always great to have cash on hand for your honeymoon.  This should really only be for fun though...if you have expecatations about an amount that you want to get, not only might you be dissapointed, <strong>but you would also be a little tacky.</strong> 
Posted by jmestrrlvr1[/QUOTE]

All of this is a lot tacky! 

[Deleted User]

Dollar dances are usually considered to be a Southern thing-and it's not rude for some people-it's just as traditional as tossing the bouquet and garter. If you're looking for an alternative method, however, I think that's when it becomes rude.

MyNameIsNot

Dollar dances are not a southern thing.  They are a Polish custom and common in some areas.  But not the south. 

My Aunt Mable would gasp and clutch her pearls if she ever saw a couple ask for cash like that.

janedoe1113a

Dollar dances are not Southern.  I grew up in the South and never heard of a dollar dance until I came on the knot.

[Deleted User]

I live in the south, it's common here.

NBVitamine

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_alternative-dollar-dance?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:36Discussion:9cdf9639-36b3-4198-9ca5-e42f2aa1f7bdPost:d60ca848-7715-414f-b84c-027a5fd5ff33">Re: Alternative to Dollar Dance?</a>:
[QUOTE]As a general rule, one should always avoid dancing for money.
and
I hate to break it to you, but your wedding is NOT a fund-raising event.[/QUOTE]

Just wanted to reiterate those important points.

texaslolamy

Dollar dances are cheap, tacky, and plain old stupid if you ask me. Just go work a few extra hours or something...don't beg for money like some sort of leech. I think the majority of people are offended by dollar dances.

bbyckes

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_alternative-dollar-dance?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:9cdf9639-36b3-4198-9ca5-e42f2aa1f7bdPost:a9faa6fa-c493-4082-aa9e-83a202f33752">Re: Alternative to Dollar Dance?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Alternative to Dollar Dance? : I hate to break it to you, but your wedding is NOT a fund-raising event.
Posted by anna.oskar[/QUOTE]

Dollar dances are very prevalent where my wedding will be taking place as well.  I am still undecided if we will be participating in this.  I think you should probably change the mind set about eliciting money from your guests. 

But, if you're dead-set on siphoning money from them, proceed with your dollar dance, but coordinate it with your dj or band and have a mid-paced song, instead of of slower one.

kbatchellor

Bet you never thought you'd get this kind of response, huh?

All the weddings I've been to have included dollar dances in during their receptions.  I don't find it exceptionally tacky, but would agree that it is a over the top.  I'm not doing one because I don't feel comfortable with it, just like the garter and bouquet toss.  It's tradition around here, but whether or not you adhere to tradition is your decision.

I don't know of any other way around a dollar dance.  Sorry!

matt-brandy

Wow... I hate these dances..I think because I'm always the bridesmaid that gets stuck handing out the shots of tequila rose to old aunt Edith.. who btw is wondering if we girls noticed she has been in line three times...Ugh.

Thing about these that has only been mentioned briefly is that they are regional - I grew up in the countryside of Western PA, perfectly normal and acceptable and... many times expected by guests - friends from South Eastern PA never - ever heard of such a thing - and find it appalling as well they should.

The other thing is.. you have to take into consideration the caliber of wedding that these dances are  going on  at. We are NOT talking about a big fancy ballroom, sit down dinner, cocktails and string quartet..more like the VFW or the local fire hall- decorated the night before by the bridal party after Bingo is over.. with Christmas lights and tulle... a buffet style dinner with grandmas baked ziti in tin-foil pans with Sterno lights to keep them warm... cousin Jeff's college room mate agreed to DJ for 200 bucks and a carton of smokes... you get the idea right???

Now not to defend it but.. Growing up here I have watched lots of my friends save and scrimp to come up with a few thousand (and I mean like 5 or 6K) to finally be able to afford a wedding. Depending on what financial bracket you are looking at this from - yes it may indeed seem tacky or in poor taste... but from what i've seen... no one here really cares.. after all most of the guests in attendance did it at their wedding 10, 12,  or 20 years ago, others just find it a good excuse to sling back a shot of something.

Roll your eyes or snub your nose.. or laugh.. it is quite comical.. but in the long run what's a few bucks among friends.. ?? After all Marriage should be serious - weddings - not so much..