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Bachelorette Party: who pays?!

I'm planning the bachelorette party for my friend's wedding, even though I'm not the maid of honor. The maid of honor lives out of the country and won't even be coming, and another one of the bridesmaids can't make it either. Here's my question: even though they won't be coming, should they still pitch in and help? We are all young and pretty broke, and being the one that's planning, I know that by default, I'll end paying for more than other people. Also, what about the other girls attending that aren't in the bridal party? HELP!

Re: Bachelorette Party: who pays?!

  • Girls not attending the party should not have to pay for the party.  If others are helping you plan the party, you should ask them what they are comfortable spending, and then you should plan something that everyone can afford.

    I think, generally, each person attending the party pays their own way, except for the bride.
  • I agree with Vicki.  The other BM who are not attending should not be expected to pay.  The other ladies that are attending, let them know what you are planning so they know what to expect to pay for themselves (i.e. spa day, drinks...).  If you're the only one who is hosting then you should pay for the bride.  If other people are co-hosting then talk with them and figure out a budget they would all be comfortable with spending to cover the bride.  The bride should expect to shell out any money for the party you are hosting.
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  • mbcdefgmbcdefg
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    edited May 2011
    If they offer, great. If not, don't ask ... they're not attending and therefore shouldn't be required to pay.

    If you are the one planning it, then get together with the other girls who will be attending and find out how much money they would like to spend. Then plan the event around that budget, even if you have to scale things back a bit. Don't be ashamed to plan what you can reasonably afford.

    After you talk to everyone individually and find out what she's willing to spend, I don't think it's unreasonable to say something like, "I was thinking that everyone could help cover Bride's dinner/drinks/club cover/whatever. Would you be O.K. with that?"

    Most people will probably be cooperative if you approach them ahead of time and give them plenty of input as to how much they'll be spending and where their money is going. Most people I know, including myself, would be pissed if they were told that they had to spend a certain amount of money, even if it was a very affordable amount ... the point is that, if I'm expected to shell out money for something, I absolutely want a say in how my money will be spent. I don't mind pitching in for a party and covering the bride's expenses, but let me have some input before everything is planned.
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  •    If you are hosting then you need to pay for yourself and the bride.Other girls who are going cover their own cost and chip in with the hotel, gas, etc.
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  • Everyone in my group was pretty broke when one of my friends got married. Fortunately she wanted to go bar-hopping, so all we did was let everyone know that they needed to bring money to pay their own way and that if they wanted to contribute to the 'bride's drinking fund' they could give me money at the beginning of the night and i would take care of making sure the bride's drinks were paid for all night long. it worked out really well. we never ran out of money for the bride because everyone wanted to contribute, and since we'd collected at the beginning of the night i never had to dip into the 'safety money' that i'd brought in case no one else wanted to contribute.

    is something like that possible for you?
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  • If you offered to throw the party, it's on you to pay but there are a lot of ways to do it.
    Like mentioned previously, bar hopping is a great way to spend the bach party, because girls love getting dressed up, the bride gets to wear a silly veil and whatnot (you should ask.. if she doesn't have these things it would b ea sweet thought to provide those for her.. super cheap at party city or any place online if you google it!) and you don't have to pay for drinks or cover of everyone, just yourself and the bride (etiquette)

    PLEASE don't ask the BM's that won't be attending to help pay... if they offer be gracious and accept to help you out, but don't ask />_<
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