When to do Kiddush and Motzi

Bonzo2011

We're having our final meeting with the rabbi this afternoon, so I'll be able to get his opinion then too. But first I thought I'd see if you have any suggestions.

We're doing a cocktail hour with passed appetizers. The toasts will happen when the guests gather to tables, before the buffet line opens up. Logistically, it makes sense to me to have either my dad or sister (MOH) do kiddush and Motzi along with the toasts. But is this weird, since guests will have already started eating? Other suggestions?

TIA!

ElisabethJoanne

I'm not the best person to answer your question, but I'm going to any way. haha

1. There is halachah on when the B'ruchot should be said. I don't know it, but it'll answer your question.

2. In less formal/observant communities, though, I think beginning the toasting with the b'ruchot is a good idea. As we're by now means observant, nor are any of our guests, it's what we're doing. Because I hate when toasts interrupt a good dinner conversation, we're having:

1 cocktail hour at reception venue during photos at ceremony venue
2 When the bride and groom get to the reception venue, all are seated
3 B'ruchot (likely by a father, so also functioning as the welcome)
4 Toasts
5 Dinner is served

B'ruchot + toasts might make for a big block of speaking (20 min?) at the beginning, but
1. Guests will already have had a chance to mingle for an hour
2. It's our only block of speaking. The only other stop-your-conversation-and-gaze-at-the-bride events will be the cake cutting and first dance. Worse, to me, than toasts interrupting conversation is when there's multiple interruptions

Bonzo2011

Your chain of events is pretty much what we're planning too. We ran the timing past the rabbi today, and he agreed that this works best. Since we're Reform, and a good majority of the guests are not Jewish, having the bracha after cocktails is apparently fine.

Starqueg

I think we're going to do it just before dinner is served, but we haven't talked to our Rabbi about it yet.  We're doing cocktails and apps before the ceremony as well.  I figure anyone who regularly says blessings before they eat can do it for themselves during the cocktail hour if they want.  It doesn't have to be a big production.  When we come back from yichud people should just be finding their seats, so we can do Motzi and Kiddush then.

MrsMLRB

We did appetizers during the cocktail hour and then did kiddush and motzi over the little bottles of wine and challah. Assuming your guests are not really religious, I don't think they will mind eating and then saying the blessings.