Baptists married in Methodist chruch?

WMSKTF

Kurt and I are both Baptists. He feels that we should be married in the church that I grew up in (he is a member there now as well). But it doesn't really feel right to me to get married there. I love that church and the people as well but it just doesn't sit well with me for some reason. I want to be married in the church that my grandmother was married in. My wedding is practically honoring her anyways. She mean't so much to me and it is very painful because she isn't going to be there. The church that she was married in is a Methodist church. Kurt and his parents are against us being married in a Methodist church because we are Baptists. They say because FI is soon to be ordained as a deacon, it will look bad on him. I've never heard of that.

Is that an issue or are they just being nit-picky and over-reacting?

RebeccaJac

I'm a pastor in a Baptist church and we got married outside at a venue. It had zero religious affiliation and there was no poor-reflection on us. Make decisions that feel right to you-- parents can get over it. Listen to your FI and the two of you work it out. 

catwine

I'm not too familiar with all the different denominations but I suggest Kurt get in touch with someone at the "Baptist Head Office" (in Canada we have the PAOC for Pentecostal churches) and see if it will affect him being ordained.  If what PP said is true, then there's no reason for you NOT to be marrried in a Methodist church.
If he still isn't comfortable with it, maybe you should listen to him.  If your whole wedding is honouring your grandmother anyways maybe this is the situation to honour your future husband and what he would like for this wedding.

rajahmd

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_christian-weddings_baptists-married-in-methodist-chruch?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:464687ae-7bc1-4360-9aea-999e11f1e1adDiscussion:628b957c-1d98-4f63-80b3-2946f19f4e48Post:63d9e7c0-3f69-4287-b837-887820b631c0">Re: Baptists married in Methodist chruch?</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm not too familiar with all the different denominations but I suggest Kurt get in touch with someone at the "Baptist Head Office" (in Canada we have the PAOC for Pentecostal churches) and see if it will affect him being ordained.  If what PP said is true, then there's no reason for you NOT to be marrried in a Methodist church. If he still isn't comfortable with it, maybe you should listen to him.  If your whole wedding is honouring your grandmother anyways maybe this is the situation to honour your future husband and what he would like for this wedding.
Posted by christinavy[/QUOTE]

<div>There isn't really a "baptist head office". Each church ordains their own deacons and usually picks their own pastors. I would recommend talking to their pastor. He/she will know better than anyone.</div><div>
</div><div> I do agree that if this is something the fiance really cares about, OP might want to reconsider and find some other ways to honor her grandmother.</div>

Ash61612

you both need to agree on a place where to get married. not just you and not just him. he needs to feel comfortable with it and so do you. I wouldn't think it would affect him being ordrained as a deacon but get him to talk to his preacher just to double check to be safe. If it does, then you may need to consider a new location for your marriage and think of another way of honoring your grandmother.

WMSKTF

I think I may not have worded that correctly. Kurt was open to the idea until his parents said it would go against him being ordained in a Baptist church. They claim if he gets married in a church outside our faith then he will not be able to be ordained. They also claim that as Baptists we should not "desire" to go to a church of a different faith ...that part gets to me because I think it's a load of crap.

And my wedding isn't only about honoring my grandmother. I honor Kurt in almost everything. His stand on this issue is because of his parents. If what they say is true, then I wouldn't want to get married there. I would never deliberately put him in a situation that could mess up something so important to him. If what they is not true, then Kurt has no problem getting married in a church of a different faith.

fpaemp2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_christian-weddings_baptists-married-in-methodist-chruch?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:464687ae-7bc1-4360-9aea-999e11f1e1adDiscussion:628b957c-1d98-4f63-80b3-2946f19f4e48Post:761efa2f-313e-455e-b9de-6afd39f32bac">Re: Baptists married in Methodist chruch?</a>:
[QUOTE]His stand on this issue is because of his parents. If what they say is true, then I wouldn't want to get married there. I would never deliberately put him in a situation that could mess up something so important to him. If what they is not true, then Kurt has no problem getting married in a church of a different faith.
Posted by WMSKTF[/QUOTE]
You and Kurt need to sit down with your pastor and just ask him if getting married in any building not marked "Baptist" will be a hindrance to him being ordained {and even then you might need to be careful...I was side-eyed by a few people because we got married in the building of a Baptist church that had not joined the Conservative convention of the Southern Baptists--long story short, my church was just too big for our guest list, I wanted a center aisle, and my aunt is the music director at the church we were married in}.<div>
</div><div>Anyways...I was raised {Southern} Baptist, and I know some church members can make an awful lot of noise over seemingly small issues.  In my church, the congregation nominates and votes on candidates for deacons and then the ordination board (usually the church's pastors and a few other SB pastors in the area) go through the ordination process with the candidates.  If the congregation is involved in the process and someone gets their panties in a twist, it COULD cause issues even though the pastor couldn't care less where you're married.</div>

mrandmrsbrist

Listen to Emily. Talk to the pastor and be honest about why you want to get married somewhere other than the church you're both members at. We were married in a freakin' airplane hangar...and no one said a peep about it not being a church. But that might not be the case for you and considering your FI's plans for the future, I'd make sure all your bases are covered.

GunzNRoses213

I'd explaine your reasoning again to his parents and if he was ok with it then polietly tell them that . If anyone talks, let em talk and or explaine the situation .. I find saying Metodist isnt that far off from Baptist. It's not like it's a Jewish Temple ..

It's your decision ... If you have to go as far as to place an announcment to people in a bulletin so they will not be confused due to him becoming a deacon then I would do it.

We are getting married at the chapel at my parents work and isnt the chruch we attend right now.. I did want to get married at the tabernacle at my church camp for sentimental reasons but it wasnt sentimental to my FI so we picked a neurtral site.

It's yours and your FI day. Who's gonna remember years from now that you got married in the "wrong " church ?

2012FutureMrsB

It's ridiculous b/c Baptists and Methodists share the SAME faith, just a few different theological perspectives. I grew up Methodist (my dad is a pastor), but I attended a Baptist church in college b/c they had the best college ministry in town. Nobody in my Methodist background was bothered by this fact!

HOWEVER, after college, I attended a Methodist seminary. When I went back to visit my Baptist church one time and shared the happy news that I was in seminary, the first thing people said was "I can't believe you're going to a Methodist seminary!!!"  Um, ok, I thought you'd be excited that I was going into ministry, but that's all you care about is your denomination.

That being said, my grandma, whom I dearly love, is a Baptist and my brother, who is a Baptist minister, have no problem that I attended a Methodist school. From my experience, it seems that some Baptist are very PROUD to be Baptist to point that they think other denominations aren't worthy to be part of the same "Christian" faith but of course there are plenty who understand how ridiculous this is. Christians are all part of God's family.

I think you should go with what matters to YOU and our fiance. Honoring your grandma is a far greater thing than trying to please a bunch of crazy Baptists. Let God handle the outcome of the ordination. HE's the one you really need to honor, and I believe God will be pleased with your decision to honor your grandmother over pleasing people who are trying to manipulate your fiance.

That's my two-cents

LeahVB2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_christian-weddings_baptists-married-in-methodist-chruch?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:464687ae-7bc1-4360-9aea-999e11f1e1adDiscussion:628b957c-1d98-4f63-80b3-2946f19f4e48Post:2e8f8a43-3f3f-44a3-bb15-f012aa0485af">Re: Baptists married in Methodist chruch?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Baptists married in Methodist chruch? : You and Kurt need to sit down with your pastor and just ask him if getting married in any building not marked "Baptist" will be a hindrance to him being ordained {and even then you might need to be careful...I was side-eyed by a few people because we got married in the building of a Baptist church that had not joined the Conservative convention of the Southern Baptists--long story short, my church was just too big for our guest list, I wanted a center aisle, and my aunt is the music director at the church we were married in}. Anyways...I was raised {Southern} Baptist, and I know some church members can make an awful lot of noise over seemingly small issues.  In my church, the congregation nominates and votes on candidates for deacons and then the ordination board (usually the church's pastors and a few other SB pastors in the area) go through the ordination process with the candidates<strong>.  If the congregation is involved in the process and someone gets their panties in a twist, it COULD cause issues even though the pastor couldn't care less where you're married.</strong>
Posted by fpaemp2011[/QUOTE]<div>
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</div><div>Church politics can be a very touchy issue especially with (sadly) Baptists. Talk to the pastor and possibly the head deacon and see if getting married a church that isn't baptist will affect him being ordianed. If it is an issue, then see if you can find another venue you would both be happy with. Remember, it doesn't matter where the marriage takes place. You will just as married with a ceremony done in the middle of the woods as you will be in the most Baptist church in the US. We had an issue with venue when DH  and I got married and it was rough getting through. I will be praying you get this resovled

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