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Questions for Christian Couples

What place does the Lord have in your relationship together?
What spirituaul things do you do together, other than pray?
Do you have any theological differences?

Fi and I are going through our counseling, and these questions were asked of us.  We found it kind of difficult to put into words the first two questions.. Im curious what other christian couples are experiencing/feeling/working through :-)

Re: Questions for Christian Couples

  • kkidd28kkidd28 member
    Seventh Anniversary 100 Comments
    edited December 2011
        We go to church together so we discuss our beliefs quite often.  We both have similar backgrounds which helps alot in understanding where each other is coming from.
       I guess we help each other grow spiritually through our discussions.  I think this is alot easier for us as we are equally yoked and will be helpful when we are raising kids, going through various things in our relationship etc.

         Counseling has been good for us spiritually!

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  • fpaemp2011fpaemp2011 member
    1000 Comments Fourth Anniversary 25 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    The Lord has first priority in our relationship.  With FI going into ministry, we are always in prayer, seeking God's will for us after graduation & the wedding.  FI actually found out about a possible pastoral position for after graduation not too far from home tonight, so we're currently praying about that. 

    When we're at school, thus in the same town, we go to church together on Sunday morning and Wednesday night, and next semester we'll go to premarital.  We haven't done a devotional together or anything, but we do talk about our Quiet Times and what we're learning. 

    We don't really have any big theological differences (or little ones that I can think of).  I was raised Conservative Southern Baptist in a tiny town, and he was raised in a mostly conservative Community Church in a small city in Maryland, so the worship style/order of service/church traditions we're used to are a bit different. 

    We don't want to be known as a "religious" couple.  We want others to see us as two sinners saved by grace, with personal lives and a marriage totally dependent on the Savoir.
  • mattycammattycam member
    Seventh Anniversary 1000 Comments 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    The Lord is first in our lives before we came together and He still is now. We are very much aware that if it was not for God's grace and favor over our lives and our relationship, we would not be getting married next year. We go to church together and have open conversations about God and what he has done for us. One thing that I can say is although we do pray, we do not pray together as much as we shuld (outside of church or Christina functions) so that area of our spiritual lives can definately improve
  • iamjoesgurliamjoesgurl member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    What place does the Lord have in your relationship together?

    For each of us, our relationship with the Lord is #1.  It is essential to who we are.

    What spiritual things do you do together, other than pray?

    We attend church together (something that we both agreed during pre-marital counseling is very important for us) and we go to a lot of Christian concerts.  DH expresses his faith through music so worship music in church and concerts are highly valued by him.  In the fall I really want us to join a small group together.  He is currently working two jobs so it just wouldn't be practical to try to join one now.

    Do you have any theological differences?

    We don't normally talk theology.  The most important thing to both of us is that the Bible is God's word and is truth.  A lot of theology has to do with how the scriptures are interpreted.  We probably both have different interpretations on some things but our focus remains on our relationship with the Lord.  If we had kids, I might feel differently but I don't think we are going to have kids.
  • erolliserollis member
    Sixth Anniversary 1000 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    I was raised Catholic and went to the Lutheran church quite a bit. When I was very little (we lived over seas) I remember going to Shinto shrines (poring blessed water over my head, ringing bells to send prayers to heaven, etc.).

    I still am Catholic and FI is agnostic ( he believes in the possibility of a higher power, etc.). He supports me (and me him) and we have had numerous discussions over the years about religion in the home. What we both feel is best is to make sure our future kid(s) go to church (Catholic/Lutheran) and have a fantastic experience with religion (not just Christianity).

    I pray daily, go to church when I feel like it (I have always felt closer to God when I wasn't in church) and wear religious medals around my neck (they hardly ever come off). He goes to church with me most of the time when I go, he always wears the miraculous medal on his neck (same as me he hardly ever takes it off). We also both have religious medals in our cars. Faith and being good and kind is how we live our lives.
  • GJones27GJones27 member
    edited December 2011
    What place does the Lord have in your relationship together?

    I think a relationship should not be two-way, but three-way.  A couple also has a relationship with God, kind of like a triangle.  By having a strong prayer life, you're able to have a strong relationship with your significant other or spouse.  You are patient, kind, loving, forgiving, and supportive instead of vengeful, jealous, angry, bitter, critical, or disrespectful.  I think my FI and I try to have such a three-way relationship, and it's what gives us the strength to forgive when we fight, be patient with each other's flaws, and persevere despite all obstacles.  God is an example of infinite love, and you try to imitate and bring that to the relationship, even though we are not perfect.

    What spiritual things do you do together, other than pray?

    Formally, we go to church on Sundays.  My FI is reading books about religion now, and sometimes we discuss them. 

    Do you have any theological differences?

    I am Orthodox Christian, my FI is technically Catholic but is thinking about converting to Orthodox Christianity.  He comes with me to my church, but he's taking his time to make sure it's right for him.  From a theological point of view, I guess I tend to be more conservative than he is.  For example, I was raised to be believe that travelling, even if you stay in different hotel rooms, with a boyfriend before marriage is wrong.  My FI is a little more liberal. Also, my FI still has some traditional Catholic views, like Catholic guilt and penace.
  • edited December 2011
    What place does the Lord have in your relationship together?
    Our relationship with the living God is our first priority. He is in every part of our personal life and our life together.
    I believe it's most important to be equally yoked with one another especially when entering marriage. Life is going to throw you so many curve balls and the main place you need to be of one accord is your relationship with God. When God comes first everything else falls into place.

    What spiritual things do you do together, other than pray?

    Communication is key both with God and one another. We communicate often about our personal walks and relationship with God as well as how we can strengthen areas we feel weak in. We fellowship often with other couples from church. We also serve in several auxiliaries and wherever we can.

    Do you have any theological differences?
    I guess by theological differences you mean how we feel the scriptures are interrupted and followed. So in that case I don't really think we have any. We believe the Bible to be the Truth and the word of God and should be followed accordingly. God's laws aren't A 'la Carte, where you decide what to pick and choose to follow because of convenience. There is right and wrong and the Bible is the foundation of our faith.

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  • edited December 2011
    In Response to Re: Questions for Christian Couples:
    We want others to see us as two sinners saved by grace, with personal lives and a marriage totally dependent on the Savoir.
    Posted by fpaemp2011
    First of all, I love that and totally agree!

    What place does the Lord have in your relationship?

    Christ is central to our relationship. We both believe the only solid foundation for marriage is on the gospel and it has been really amazing to see how that has transformed our relationship and how we relate to each other. We have had to face the reality of  our sin (on both sides) in various situations over the last year and a half, and I believe it has made us stronger. It has helped us both see how our sin affects one another and, consequently how much more serious it is to God. Second, it has helped us learn to extend grace to each other as God did to us. That has brought a lot of security and openness in our relationship. It also has been great for us to experience the whole "iron sharpening iron" thing together as we encourage each other to pursue Christ and holiness, and can support each other as we confront different idols in our lives.

    What do you do together besides pray?
    After the first month we started dating, my FI and I have been going to the same church. We became members there about a year ago (I had moved before college and still hadn't changed my membership officially). We are extmremely involved with the college ministry at our church. Our group has made the church community our priority and it has been a great atmosphere for us to grow together while walking in community. We do things with that group a lot. Our lessons on Sunday morning walk through a book a the Bible (we are in 1 Cor. right now) and usually after church FI and I talk about what we related to in the lesson and what convicted us in an area we might not have seen. In the last few weeks I have felt like I have really been able to serve him by speaking the gospel into a difficult situation with his family. We have read a few books together, my favorite so far is "This Momentary Marriage" by John Piper. I think next semester we are going to meet in the morning for breakfast and do a Bible study together before classes, so I'm looking forward to that.

    Do you have any theological differences?

    We both believe that doctrine has many practical results and greatly affects how you live your day to day life. Thus, being on the same page theologically has become really important. When we started dating we had some differences, but since we've been growing in a community that seeks to understand Scripture and under some great leadership, we have really grown together. We love discussing doctrine together (our college class is also going through 'Doctrine' by Mark Driscoll, also pretty good) and with our friends (it is a pretty common topic of conversation).
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  • edited December 2011
    FI and I go to church together as well and have the same beliefs, God is the head in our relationship now and when we get married. That means that we consult God in good times and bad. We rely on him for wisdom and understanding. When we get married I believe we will read and study together as well as pray and fast. We are both on the same page as far as our beliefs. 
    Mrs. Married Lady
  • TimsGirl10TimsGirl10 member
    edited December 2011
    We both try very hard to keep God and His love for us, and how HE is the one who brought us together in the forfront of our relationship.  We know putting God and his desires and will for our relationship first is the only way we will succeed!!  Aside from praying together, we try to talk at least a few times a week about where we are in our daily devotions- something that has touched us, convicted us, etc.  We attend church together, in fact last week FI joined our church (Well, it was my church, but now its "our" church :) ).  Worshipping together, Sundays and Wednesdays, is important to us. 

    As far as theological differences- we don't really have many that are different.  At least not any major theological differences.  We talk about these things a lot, we both love talking about the things we believe and why and what different passages mean and how we should apply them to our lives.  I do tend to be slightly more conservative, but then again, FI surprises me now and again - and he tends to follow some of my more conserative viewpoints, not necessarily b/c he holds those views, but rather b/c he holds to the belief that if what he does is offensive to another, he would rather not do it than to offend.
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  • edited December 2011
    Christ is the center of our marriage. 

    We attend church together on Sundays and Thursdays every so often.  We were both on the church council last year and have always been involved in activities and Bible studies, etc.  We've started doing little devotions every night at dinner. 

    We don't have any theological differences, which I have to say I am so very thankful for.  I was worried when we started dating how church would work because he was raised a Baptist and Nazarene and I am a Lutheran.  He just started coming with me, attended the adult instruction classes, and was baptized as a Lutheran.  I am very glad that I know we agree on things like baptism and communion and that we both like the traditional church liturgy and see the value in it.  It makes it so much easier to keep Christ at the center.
  • edited December 2011
    Christ is the center of our relationship. we pray together, study our scriptures. have religous pictures decorating his home (which will be mine in a few weeks)
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