Dear Amy: I have been married for 34 years but am in love with another woman (also married). We were making plans to end our marriages to be together when an anonymous letter was sent to my wife telling her of the affair.
My wife begged me to stay, and my grown children (both in their late 20s) threatened to disown me and prevent me from seeing my grandchild if I left the marriage. They say they hate me.
My wife has made my life hell since the affair by bad-mouthing me to family, friends, her co-workers and my co-workers. She has not accepted any of the responsibility for the breakdown of our marriage.
We were seeing a counselor to save our marriage but I started seeing my girlfriend again and of course my wife was furious. I was just going through the motions to see if I could win my family's forgiveness.
I am totally in love with my girlfriend and would like to have the life with her that I have always dreamed about but have never been able to experience with my wife (affection, friendship, trust, mutual interests and true love).
My girlfriend is tired of being the other woman. We are unable to see each other because of the house arrest I have been subjected to since being found out.
I can't get off the fence because I am afraid to lose my family. Do you have any suggestions?
— Fence-sitter