Catholic Weddings

Godparent question...

Not there yet...but just curious! 

My Godfather is a practicing Catholic and my Godmother (my Aunt, the best and most loving woman I ever had the pleasure of knowing) was Lutheran. My parents chose these two people because they were the people they would have entrusted my future with had they passed away before I was grown.

Fastforward to today...

I went to a baptism of dear friends this past weekend. The godmother is Catholic but is not what we would consider a serious practicing Catholic. She didn't have her paperwork in order the day of the baptism. When the Priest asked her if she was a practicing Catholic, she stated she receieved all her sacraments at that particular Church and tries to go as often as possible. The answering question was,"Do you stuff those envelopes good when you do go?" Godfather was baptized, but that was it.

I am just curious about what the standard is. I assume it varies between parishes and that one Godparent must be a Catholic, right? I look at Godparents as being those you'd want to raise your child if you were to pass away. For me, that would be my sister (of great Catholic standing) or my husband's best friend (who is Jewish). I don't have kids, but these two are who I forsee having the greatest adult but non-parental influence upon any future kids. I understand the Jewish man could not be a Godparent by the Church's standards, but he is someone we would leave as guardian in our will (if we have kids of course!).

I mean, I GET what the point of a Godparent is: to take over your roll if you are not able to do so which includes bringing that child along within the faith. I'm just curious as to how some non-Catholics get to be Catholic Godparents. Is it really about the money????

I don't know...just something on my mind and wondering what others thoughts are...
~ES~

Re: Godparent question...

  • It most certainly isn't about the money that priest better have been kidding! The Godparent for Catholics isn't a "guardian" as most society views the role. Within the Church, the Godparent is entrusted with the child's religious direction. So it is very important that at least one Godparent be worthy of caring for your child's soul and ensuring they are brought up in the faith in the absence of the parents. Many families view the role as mainly guardian to be fillin parents, but not necessarily having much to do with faith. Priests can have varying rules and restrictions. I know our parish is pretty tight on ensuring the Godparent is a truly practicing and faithful Catholic which had nothing to do with the money they put in the collection basket! I have known others that don't ask for anything. It is a matter of their comfort level. I think it should be more standardized and enforced consistently.
  • A Godparent for Baptism must be Catholic. If there is only one catholic, and the other one is a baptized protestant, they are not canonically a Godparent, but a Christian witness. 

    Jewish, and any non-baptized person may not fill this role.

    The point of God parents is for religious leadership, especially if the parents fail in providing this for whatever reason. This logically leads to Godparents being practicing Catholics in good standing (no irregular marriages) 

    My godson's mother (my sister) was sharing with me how she didn't get to mass every week. So I said let me know the weeks she doesn't and I'll take the kids. Something about this made her start thinking about it, and she started going every week then. 
  • A couple of thoughts:

    First, I certainly hope the priest was making a bad joke when it came to the money. I suspect he really saw through her act and was annoyed, but that doesn't excuse comments like that. That said, many parishes, at least in my area, use envelopes as an attendance record. Putting envelopes, even empty ones, shows that you were at Mass. This might affect getting a letter to be a godparent or school tuition rates or whatever.

    Second, there is only a canonical requirement of one total godparent. Some individual parishes/priests may require more. While having a second godparent is preferable, we opted not to for our daughter. She has only a godfather  who, because he is discerning the priesthood and is likely to end up there, will certainly not be her legal guardian. We did not want a Christian witness, because we thought it would ultimately open the door for confusion and relativism.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • Here's a weird question: can you be the godparent of a child of another faith?  For instance, if a Methodist couple had a baby and asked you to be a godmother, with the baptism taking place in a Methodist church, could you?  I suppose it would partially depend on what exactly you're promising.  Does anyone know?

     

  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_godparent-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:10804a85-ebe2-4874-bebb-10b9ae28422ePost:2f406f2a-254b-40e4-b8b5-0d7ad4780916">Re: Godparent question...</a>:
    [QUOTE]Here's a weird question: can you be the godparent of a child of another faith?  For instance, if a Methodist couple had a baby and asked you to be a godmother, with the baptism taking place in a Methodist church, could you?  I suppose it would partially depend on what exactly you're promising.  Does anyone know?
    Posted by Resa77[/QUOTE]

    <div>Our Lutheran friends actually suggested that they might ask us to be godparents for their daughter before she was born.  When I said that didn't really make a lot of sense, considering the job of the godparents, the wife replied, "Well, I don't think it's really the same as the Catholics..."  I was like, "Really?  Why would you want us, then?"</div><div>
    </div><div>Short answer: No.  You can be a Christian witness, but not a godparent.</div>
    Anniversary

    image

    image

  • I don't think protestant faiths have the distinction between Godparent and christian witness. I don't believe Catholics can be Godparents in other faiths.  (doing some research)
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_godparent-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:10804a85-ebe2-4874-bebb-10b9ae28422ePost:52828dc2-92cf-49ba-9ef6-5d0d083cf831">Re: Godparent question...</a>:
    [QUOTE]I don't think protestant faiths have the distinction between Godparent and christian witness. I don't believe Catholics can be Godparents in other faiths.  (doing some research)
    Posted by agapecarrie[/QUOTE]

    <div>Well, yeah.  I mean, this is an answer I was given by a Catholic apologist or not.  Whether the Protestant wants to call it "Christian witness" or not, that's what it is.</div>
    Anniversary

    image

    image

  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_godparent-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:10804a85-ebe2-4874-bebb-10b9ae28422ePost:0667dadc-b734-48cd-beac-a6657ce09dfa">Re: Godparent question...</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Godparent question... : Well, yeah.  I mean, this is an answer I was given by a Catholic apologist or not.  Whether the Protestant wants to call it "Christian witness" or not, that's what it is.
    Posted by professorscience[/QUOTE]

    <div>Yea... you were right. The link I put up explained it. </div>
  • Yes, then can although at least one of them must be Christian. It was passed by the Church as the initial two godparents were Congregationalist and Jewish (emergency baptism in NICU).  When planning the formal christening in the church several months later, the priest said it was fine to have them but we had to include a Catholic with then
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_godparent-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:10804a85-ebe2-4874-bebb-10b9ae28422ePost:394a6166-9913-44e4-b067-d5438c47a0fe">Godparent question...</a>:
    [QUOTE]Not there yet...but just curious!  My Godfather is a practicing Catholic and my Godmother (my Aunt, the best and most loving woman I ever had the pleasure of knowing) was Lutheran. My parents chose these two people because they were the people they would have entrusted my future with had they passed away before I was grown. Fastforward to today... I went to a baptism of dear friends this past weekend. The godmother is Catholic but is not what we would consider a serious practicing Catholic. She didn't have her paperwork in order the day of the baptism. When the Priest asked her if she was a practicing Catholic, she stated she receieved all her sacraments at that particular Church and tries to go as often as possible. The answering question was,"Do you stuff those envelopes good when you do go?" Godfather was baptized, but that was it. I am just curious about what the standard is. I assume it varies between parishes and that one Godparent must be a Catholic, right? I look at Godparents as being those you'd want to raise your child if you were to pass away. For me, that would be my sister (of great Catholic standing) or my husband's best friend (who is Jewish). I don't have kids, but these two are who I forsee having the greatest adult but non-parental influence upon any future kids. I understand the Jewish man could not be a Godparent by the Church's standards, but he is someone we would leave as guardian in our will (if we have kids of course!). I mean, I GET what the point of a Godparent is: to take over your roll if you are not able to do so which includes bringing that child along within the faith. I'm just curious as to how some non-Catholics get to be Catholic Godparents. Is it really about the money???? I don't know...just something on my mind and wondering what others thoughts are...
    Posted by Eliz77[/QUOTE]

    I read a few posts about only Godparent required but in my family, we have both a man and a woman, for our children, we each chose one God parent since our married friends and family were not married through the church therefore their marriage not valid. My H was not allowed to be his cousins God father because he and I were living together. now that we're married, he'll be enrolling her in Cathecism since she's 8 and she'll have to be baptized and receive first communion at the same time.
  • I am the godmother of one of my nieces. She was baptized in the catholic church, and I was never asked if I was catholic, baptized, or anything like that, I just had to agree to help raise her in the church, etc during the ceremony. And I was the second choice. My sister wanted her best friend, but she's mormon, and I guess there's some sort of conflict there. I'm nondenominational christian, so I guess that was "close enough." (as a side note, I am also legally the person who would take both of her daughters if anything happened, and it is her expectation they would continue to be raised in the catholic church.)

    I know this isn't the catholic answer - I'm not, nor have I ever been catholic - but the way I see it is similar to getting married in the catholic church. I'm agreeing to raise my kids catholic. Yes, I know that canon law doesn't require ME to be the one doing so, but I'd do the same for my kids as I would for my nieces. It's important to my nearest and dearest, so it's important to me.

    I was baptized in a federated church (it's a blend of congregational and methodist I believe) and I had no godparents. But also, in many protestant faiths, you're baptized when you are old enough to make the decision for yourself. Conceptually, you don't need godparents, because you're chosing the path for yourself.
    image 312 Invited
    image 182 Are ready to party!
    image 127 Will be missing out!
    image 3 Are MIA!
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_godparent-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:10804a85-ebe2-4874-bebb-10b9ae28422ePost:e17c8c10-1bbf-4467-ac86-6c56b92d1e12">Re: Godparent question...</a>:
    [QUOTE]Yes, then can although at least one of them must be Christian. It was passed by the Church as the initial two godparents were Congregationalist and Jewish (emergency baptism in NICU).  When planning the formal christening in the church several months later, the priest said it was fine to have them but we had to include a Catholic with then
    Posted by ootmother2[/QUOTE]
    Really, the Church allowed the initial Godparents plus a Catholic? I know my husband would be  thrilled to have his friend as a Godparent, whether officially recognized by the Church or not. Then again, we haven't really talked about this topic so who knows. <div>
    </div><div>I don't know if the Priest was joking, but the mom was very offended. The Godmother had no "act". She was honest-intead of claiming she attended Church every Sunday, she said she went on holidays and "some" Sundays. If that wasn't good enough, the Priest should've said as much an not made the comment he did.</div>
    ~ES~
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_godparent-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:10804a85-ebe2-4874-bebb-10b9ae28422ePost:e17c8c10-1bbf-4467-ac86-6c56b92d1e12">Re: Godparent question...</a>:
    [QUOTE]Yes, then can although at least one of them must be Christian. It was passed by the Church as the initial two godparents were Congregationalist and Jewish (emergency baptism in NICU).  When planning the formal christening in the church several months later, the priest said it was fine to have them but we had to include a Catholic with then
    Posted by ootmother2[/QUOTE]
    Really, the Church allowed the initial Godparents plus a Catholic? I know my husband would be  thrilled to have his friend as a Godparent, whether officially recognized by the Church or not. Then again, we haven't really talked about this topic so who knows. <div>
    </div><div>I don't know if the Priest was joking, but the mom was very offended. The Godmother had no "act". She was honest-intead of claiming she attended Church every Sunday, she said she went on holidays and "some" Sundays. If that wasn't good enough, the Priest should've said as much an not made the comment he did.</div>
    ~ES~
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards