Full mass or no?

AwayWeGo08

What are YOU doing?
How did you decide?

TIA

Calypso1977

we had Mass.

for us, it was a no brainer.  we are both practicing catholics.  it really wasnt even a decision. the thought of not having mass never entered my mind.

we did have to make some decision abotu whether it would be Latin or English.  I was raised in the Latin, H was not.  Having the Latin was very important to me.  After learning the vows and rings were all in English, and just the Mass was in Latin, my H agreed.  we then went to teh latin regularly so he could get familiar with it.  We now go primarily to the English, except on holy days, simply becuase the mass time is more convenient.   I love the Latin, and i defintiely want our kids, if we have them, to learn both.

mica178

We're doing the ceremony outside of Mass.  My FI is not Catholic, and a significant percentage of our guests are not Catholic.  For that matter, only my mother and I are Catholic in my family.  After a long discussion with our priest as well as my FI's uncle (a Catholic bishop), we decided not to do the full Mass.

ring_pop

We had mass. There was no question about it. We're both Catholic and we're both regular parishioners and choir members at the church where we got married.

[Deleted User]

We  had full Mass. We are both Catholic, and it was something that was very important to us.

With that being said, it is normally recommended that you have full Mass if both parties are able to receive the Eucharist. I have seen it done with one party is not Catholic, however, sometimes the other feels left out when one can take Communion and one cannot.

cindy91788

we will not be having a full mass. We are both Catholics, but many people attending are not Catholics, and we wanted everyone to feel comfortable. Also, we don't attend church on a regular basis, and don't feel that having a mass would be best for us.

GulfCoaster

We had a full Mass.  There was never any serious question in our minds about whether we would or not...  We are both practicing Catholics, and the Eucharist is very important to us.

The majority of our guests weren't Catholic, but they did just fine with a detailed program.  I don't think you should choose based on who your guests are or what you think they might be "comfortable" with -- make the choice based on yourself and your fiance.

[Deleted User]

We are having a Traditional Latin Mass. The thought of not having a mass never crossed our minds. After our engagement the first decision that we made was to have a high or low mass.
We are going to have a high mass.

As for our family and friends we are giving them a program that they can follow along. I am the only practicing Catholic in my family and this is my gift to all of them. I want them to witness the beauty of the mass.

In Christ,
M

Hope61

Same as many previous posters--we are both devout practicing Catholics and so having a Mass was a given. And, Traditional Latin Mass for us too--hopefully a solemn high Mass

cindy91788

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_full-mass?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:72615c39-3648-46db-93d6-84e846bc4c6dPost:449bf65c-a13e-4494-adbe-e090174071e7">Re: Full mass or no?</a>:
[QUOTE]We had a full Mass.  There was never any serious question in our minds about whether we would or not...  We are both practicing Catholics, and the Eucharist is very important to us. The majority of our guests weren't Catholic, but they did just fine with a detailed program.  I don't think you should choose based on who your guests are or what you think they might be "comfortable" with -- make the choice based on yourself and your fiance.
Posted by GulfCoaster[/QUOTE]
We ourselves are not comfortable with having a mass either, because we do not attend church on a regular basis. We are getting married in a Catholic Church because we'd like our marriage to be recognized by the church, and not just the law.

mswood1977

We did a full Mass because both my husband and I are Catholic.  I converted so no one on my side is Catholic so we did think about doing a wedding outside of Mass, but it was really important to me and my husband that we receive communion together on our wedding day, so in the end we did a full mass. I explained to my family before hand why they could not go up to receive communion and everyone was fine with it.

bibliophile2010

We're having the mass. LIke others, it was a no brainer for us. We are both very involved in the church where we met and are getting married, attend mass regularly, and see faith as central to our lives.

I agree with others, though, that if one party is not Catholic, I would not have mass. Communion, like marriage, is supposed to be a uniting celebration and one party not receiving is, in my opinion, not in line with the theme of union.  I also agree that the ceremony is about you, not about making your guests comfortable. Make them comforable with programs and the expectation that they will be attending a Catholic mass (not just a quick secular ceremony).

[Deleted User]

We are having a ceremony only. It just felt more natural for us. I also feel that more of our friends will come celebrate with us. Most are Catholic anyway, but for those who do not practice regularly, may not want to attend because they feel uncomfortable. Also, with everyone recieving Communion, for those who are Catholic, have not attended recently, most will not recieve Communion because they have not been to confession. I do not want anyone to feel out of place or judged because they are Catholic and did not recieve.

ring_pop

Do Catholics really judge other Catholics for not receiving communion?

Karen's MOH

We are having a ceremony with no mass. FI was baptized Catholic but has not practiced since grade school, and about half our guests are not Catholic. I didn't want the first act we did as husband and wife be divisive rather than unifying (if I and my family receive communion but FI and his family did not). I don't even attend mass regularly so it wouldn't seem right.

The fact that it will be a little shorter did cross our minds but it wasn't the main reason for the decision.

boogerbearoriginal

We had mass, since we were are both practicing Catholics (and come from Catholic families) it wasn't even a decision to make.

Honestly we didn't even really talk about it, it was just something we both knew we were going to do. Since we had been attending my home church he had no problem getting married there too. And it was quite nice have all my sacraments, except baptism, in the same church.

I've heard that if you are both Catholic most Priests will encourage you to have mass but I'm sure that varies from church to church.

lisa89760

we are having a mass since we are both catholic and our families are both catholic.  the majority of our bridal party are not catholic though but everyone standing up is fully supportive.  It will be interesting since my best friend is jewish and has never even been to a catholic mass before!

AwayWeGo08

My FI is Catholic ( but not super active) and I am in the process of joining the faith. I won't decide if I want Mass or not until I am further along in the process.  I was just curious to see how other people came to their decision on it.

Thanks for all the honest answers

Calypso1977

welcome to the faith, Away!  i think as you go through your program you will realize the importance and significance of the Mass and communion.  converts often make the strongest catholics.

Calypso1977

ring pop, i dont judge catholics who opt not to take communion - shows they know enough to decline receipt if they may have questions abotu the state of their soul.

i will confess that i do, however,  judge catholics who knowingly receive when they really have no business receiving. 

ljahns

"we will not be having a full mass. We are both Catholics, but many people attending are not Catholics, and we wanted everyone to feel comfortable. Also, we don't attend church on a regular basis, and don't feel that having a mass would be best for us. "

same

Bec20

I have a quick question that I'm sure one of you knowledgable ladies will be able to explain much better than Google.  What exactly is the difference between a high mass and a low mass?  TIA.

Hope61

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_full-mass?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:72615c39-3648-46db-93d6-84e846bc4c6dPost:b50eb4e7-6149-4261-b9b2-5f5481f4b6de">Re: Full mass or no?</a>:
[QUOTE]I have a quick question that I'm sure one of you knowledgable ladies will be able to explain much better than Google.  What exactly is the difference between a high mass and a low mass?  TIA.
Posted by Bec20[/QUOTE]

Quick answer: (since this is off topic :) ) Both refer to the Tridentine Latin Mass--ie, the Mass as it was said before Vatican II and the new Mass was written and said in English. At a High Mass, there is a choir and many parts are sung. There are more candles I believe and usually more altar servers. Basically, more "smells and bells". Low Mass=no choir, all parts are spoken and many of them very quietly by the priest.

bellashauntee

I wanted a full mass, but since my FI is not baptised, it is not an option.

Bec20

Thanks Katie. I've heard the terms a few times and wasn't quite sure what they entailed.  I was just a little worried about asking in case it was an extremely obvious thing that I was blanking on.

cindy91788

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_full-mass?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:72615c39-3648-46db-93d6-84e846bc4c6dPost:414ec67e-b5c8-42a1-b17e-53b343ff7e2c">Re: Full mass or no?</a>:
[QUOTE]ring pop, i dont judge catholics who opt not to take communion - shows they know enough to decline receipt if they may have questions abotu the state of their soul. i will confess that i do, however,  judge catholics who knowingly receive when they really have no business receiving. 
Posted by Calypso1977[/QUOTE]
Why should you judge anyone, regardless of what they do? Its none of your business.

ootmother2

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_full-mass?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:615Discussion:72615c39-3648-46db-93d6-84e846bc4c6dPost:29990e03-d1e2-416a-8c63-9970c98ae431">Re: Full mass or no?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Full mass or no? : Why should you judge anyone, regardless of what they do? Its none of your business.
Posted by cindy91788[/QUOTE]


I seriously doubt that there is any human being on earth that has the right to judge the state of someone's soul, other than your own.

Unfortunately, that does happen here sometimes.

:sigh:

Jenn Anne

We are not doing a full mass. Most of the guest attending are not Catholic, and my FI has not completely converted to the religion, although he plans to. So we decided that it would be a better choice for us to not do the full mass.

Enchanted616

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_full-mass?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:615Discussion:72615c39-3648-46db-93d6-84e846bc4c6dPost:414ec67e-b5c8-42a1-b17e-53b343ff7e2c">Re: Full mass or no?</a>:
[QUOTE] i will confess that i do, however,  judge catholics who knowingly receive when they really have no business receiving. 
Posted by Calypso1977[/QUOTE]

I don't post on this board much, but lurk a lot, and usually find your answers to be very true and knowledgable, Calypso.

However, I feel like I really have to say, this is simply not your call to make. 

Calypso1977

i know it isnt right to judge.  but i am bothered, for example, when i see people like Nancy Pelosi and Ted Kennedy, who openly fight for and support abortion rights take communion. 

cindy91788

Because they are Catholic.