Need advice, wanting to get married again?

prettyinpink1981

I'm new here. But I've been lurking for a long time. Finally got the courage to post!

I could really use some advice right about now. I really have no idea what to do.

I was married once when I was real young. Ran away just did it. ( I was 19 at the time) It was stupid but I have since gotten divorced. This all happened 5 years ago, but my family will still not let it go.

My FI proposed last june. We were all set but ended up calling the wedding off. My family got so involved and I admit it was my fault I should of said no and put my foot down but they kept pushing till I caved. My family called our wedding a family gathering/ reunion. And invited people I never even met just so they could party and get together it was just to much. And when they told my FI and I no to everything we wanted it we finally just called it off.

I really didn't want to ever get married after that. But he really does want to get married, I realize I really do too and want kids some day as well.

Now that my family knows this, they are in one word, pissed. Were back to if you don't have the wedding at home no one from my family is coming. My Grandmother can't make the 3 hours drive and I was told none of my aunts or cousins are willing to drive that for a wedding.  Yet FI's family was driving 8 originally the first time one way. 

I know I shouldn't care, I know that I can't stop living my life because they are going to be what they call "disappointed" but I feel like I can't get married or have kids until someone either dies or we resolve this some way. I have put my life on hold for over a year, and I really don't want to anymore. They will no consider me married unless it's done the way they want. My Grandmother even had really snotty remarks for me on the phone last week about getting married.

Basically it's the wedding they want or their is no wedding. I'm getting really depressed over all of this. My friends have all settled down gotten married and our having babies and it's made me realize how much I want that too. I'm just so confused at how to get about this, or that maybe I'm wrong?

MCTD31

When it's right, you should let nothing and no one stop you from getting married. I would never allow other people's opinions and judgements sway me from making a commitment to the person I'm meant to be with. Which leads me to believe that maybe you need to reevaluate whether or not it is right....the right time, the right guy, etc. Although it would be nice to have the support of your family, the bottom line is that if it's meant to be you'll find a way to make it work.

It also seems that you're being influenced by what your friends are doing, which to me is a really, really bad reason to get married. It's not about "keeping up with the joneses" and if thats what it takes to make you realize what you want, then again....just think on it.

Best of luck, and remember....at the end of the day, it doesn't matter what anyone says or thinks, if it's right you'll make it happen.