Bachelorette Party Question

Bride2BeCat

My MOH just sent me a list of options to choose from for my bachelorette party.  Isn't it proper etiquette and customary to ONLY invite people who are also invited to the wedding?  We're having a small, intimate wedding of very close family and friends.  I don't want my other friends to be offended if they are not invited <- because we just can't afford to have everyone at our wedding, but other people have said it's okay to invite anyone and everyone to your bachelorette party....what's your take ladies? 

I know I shouldn't be worried about this, because I can see myself looking rude to someone either way...but I just wanted to know what the majority say.

TIA!

mrsmustard12

Personally, I wouldn't invite people to the bachelorette party who aren't invited to the wedding since they would probably feel left out.

dewreb

You're right that it should only be those who are invited to the wedding. And it's nice of you to be worrying about this and thinking of your friends' feelings. I'm also having a very small wedding, so I'll also be having a very small bachelorette party.

FaithCaitlin

I feel that the bachelorette party should be limited to those included in the wedding.

waterroxy17

I agree with the ladies

PhiSigFly

Etiquette is going to say that you shouldn't invite people to any wedding festivities if they aren't invited to the wedding.

With that being said, one of my best friends had a very small wedding (25 people, family only). I wasn't invited to the wedding, but was invited to both the bridal shower and bachelorette party (as were many of her other friends who were also not invited to the wedding). I knew I wasn't being invited to the wedding, so it wasn't a surprise that I didn't get an invite. To be honest, I REALLY appreciated being invited to the other festivities to support my friend and to celebrate with her, and definitely didn't think she was rude or taking advantage or anything like that. 

You know your friends and it's YOUR wedding and YOUR bachelorette party. If you want your bachelorette party to be wedding guests only, then that's your choice. However, if you'd prefer a bigger party, I think you can invite whoever you want, as long as they know that you're having a small wedding and they aren't being invited. Also, bachelorette parties are not gift giving events, so I really can't imagine anyone being offended by the invitation.

Again, I know proper etiquette would disagree, but that's just my opinion.

anaroo87

i'd say, if you want those friends there then go ahead and invite them.

If they're good friends, they should already know you're having a small family wedding and I agree that if it was me, I wouldn't be offended if you invited me to the bachelorette and not wedding if I knew these were the circumstances. If you're friends don't know its a small wedding, I'm all for being upfront with people. Just tell them you're having a very small wedding with mostly family but would love to spend some time with them at the bachelorette party. Simple as that.

On the other hand, if you know your friends are the jealous, dramatic types and would be offended or cause trouble if you did invite them to the BP and not the wedding, then forget it and don't invite them.

WeAreGs

I think it depends on your friends. I honestly have been invited to two bach parties where I wasn't invited to the wedding and I wasn't offended at all because they were intimate weddings. Maybe I am not the type to get offended with much, but this wouldn't bother me.

Feel out your friends and how you think they may feel. But I think you can invite people to the bach party who aren't invited to the wedding, with an explanation of what the deal is

kbratton2king

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_florida-south-florida_bachelorette-party-question-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:67Discussion:2f2d3f10-2215-4950-b415-a07b39c98b31Post:30d93252-277c-4589-acce-573092819bc6">Re: Bachelorette Party Question</a>:
[QUOTE]I think it depends on your friends. <strong>I honestly have been invited to two bach parties where I wasn't invited to the wedding and I wasn't offended at all because they were intimate weddings.</strong> Maybe I am not the type to get offended with much, but this wouldn't bother me. Feel out your friends and how you think they may feel. But I think <strong>you can invite people to the bach party who aren't invited to the wedding, with an explanation of what the deal is</strong> :)
Posted by WeAreGs[/QUOTE]

Ditto. Not sure on how you are inviting people to your bach party but maybe you could tastefully add in there how you are having a small intimate wedding but would love the opportunity to celebrate such a major life event with them.