Any Younger-Than-Average Brides Out There?

mrskaniver

I too am only 21 and he is 23. Almost everyone who knows us as a couple is completely excited and understanding, it's the random people who make comments. Mostly I just ignore it. What I don't understand is why I had a potential vendor at a bridal show tell me I shouldn't be getting married at this age...doesn't seem like a good way to earn my business to me! My mother even tried to defend me pointing out we have been dating for 5 years....there are plenty of marriages that don't even last that long. The lady persisted though, and I will definitely not be a customer of hers!

raw1299

me and my fiance are having our wedding sept. 2011, when i'll be 21 and he'll be 32. weve been together for almost 4 years now, and our family is very supportive of our choice. i think it depends on if a marriage fits into their lifestyle and if they can make it work. i'll be graduating this spring, he has a good job, his own house. its just the right thing, and it fits. its my choice and my life, and im ready to start a life with him.

i think it also depends on how old your spouse is too. if he was as young as me, i dont think i'd be looking at marriage right now. i'd be worried how we'd support ourselves on our own,ect.

mayjaygirl21

I'll be 21 and FI will be 31 when we're married, and I've gotten differing views.  He did the traditional "asking the parents blessings" and they said yes.  So they're all into the whole wedding thing surprisingly since my parents are super strict (I'm the youngest and only child)! But I did have my childhood BF convince me to not marry him (even though she's married and I'm realizing that maybe she thinks she made a wrong decision).

But what I hate most is that people think that bc he's so much older than me, that he controls me.  Which is funny bc he does the exact oppositie! But I love my booby and no matter what, I'm going to be with him.

So you're not alone!

JCM10

When we got engaged I was 21 and he was 22 and we had been dating for 2 years and 8 months (started dating when we were 19, freshman year of college). No one has said anything at all (except rude comments about not having time 'to mess around' etc) about our ages. 

We knew, before our engagement, that we wouldn't be getting married until we were both done with undergrad. His degree's taking longer than mine to complete, so that means we're having a 22 month engagement. Long, but worth it to accomplish our goal of having our BAs done with pre-wedding. I'll be a semester away from completing my Masters and will have worked full time for 2 years before the wedding. We have no car or student loans, so we'll be starting out in a pretty good place, even though he will just be starting work around the time of the wedding.  He'll be 24 and I'll be 23 by then. 

A lot of people I know are getting married in the next few years...a lot of them are getting military commissions, so that has an effect on their timetables. 

raw1299

may, people probably think that also of me, which is totally 100% untrue. i think im actually the one pushing HIM to get married, not the other way around. but im also concerned how old he'll be when we have children. i want him to see them grow, ect. i cant see myself waiting until im like 27, and hell be 38. i cant wait that long anyway.

SarahBerah

Totally get it! We're both 19, will be 20, almost 21 by the wedding. I don't understand how this is such a big deal, until not that long ago it was odd to NOT be married by about 25. My parents, all their siblings, grandparents (ect) were all married before their 21st.  And all of them are happily married 25+ years later. It's not age, its maturity. We (my FI and I) know it won't be easy but we are willing to work through it. We don't live together, we haven't slept together, and know divorce is not an option for us. So far most of the people I know have been supportive but I have gotten interesting looks from strangers. But they can mind their own business because I plan on still being married to the only man I love in 80 years.

AlmostMrsStrong

I'm 20 and he's 26. I'll be 23 and he'll be 30 when we get married (oh my gosh...I need to go make fun of him real quick).

Ahem...anyway...

We've been friends for years, and dating for about 3, so the general reaction to our engagement was "Finally!". If it's random strangers who are talking crap, ignore them - they don't know you or the nature of your relationship. I was concerned about being engaged at this age, and I still panic about whether or not I've lived my life or partied enough or any of those frantic thoughts that shoot through your brain at 2 in the morning. I look at him, though, and realize that there is no one in the world I trust more, no one in the world who understands me better, and no one in the world that I want to spend the rest of my life with. I'm truly marrying my best friend, and I'm not going to entertain people who are just jealous and bitter that they haven't found their true love.

DramaGeek

We were 20 when we got engaged.  H was 22 when we got married and I was 21, 3 weeks shy of 22.  We're both 29 now and doing great.  I finished my bachelor's 4 months after we got married and went straight to grad school and did my masters.  H ended up changing majors so it took longer but he finished his degree 4.5 years after we got married.  We now have 3 degrees, 3 vehicles and 2 houses and are doing great.  Just wanted to share a success story for you guys :-)  It hasn't always been easy, but it has definitely been worth it!

brit_bell90

I've been engaged since I was 18. I just turned 20 and he just turned 26, I get a lot of people who seem surprised that I'm getting married so young, but it works for us. We want to have kids before he gets to be too much older, so it made more sense for us to get married while I was still in college so once I graduate and get a job we can try to start a family right away. 

OliviaD7712

I am 18 and will be 19 when we get married. FI is 20 and will be 21 when we got married. Both of our families were super supportive and the reaction was "FINALLY" from all. I have also had some random people tell me I am too young (like my sunday school teacher from 8th grade who I never talk to). We have been dating for 5 years and have been talking about marriage for a long time. We are also in pre marital counseling and have discussed all of our financial plans. Thank goodness my parents are supportive and are making sure we have all the logistics covered like insurance, apartments, jobs (they are not financially helping us out but are making sure we know what we are doing). My mom was 19 when she got married and both sets of grandparents were 18 (they are all still married). When it comes to complete strangers (like wedding dress consultants) I do not bring up my age unless asked but when it does come up the strangers tend to fall silent and drop the subject. I love to know that there are other young brides out there! Keep up the posts and questions so we can all stay in touch!! Good luck to all

slr31

Engaged at 21, marrying at 22. We'll both be less than 2 months away from our 23rd birthdays. But still. Young. And boy, do we hear about it. It's not at all pressure from within our families. If people knew us like our families, they'd know that we have 1)known one another for over 6 years, and 2)have been together for over 4 years. But people outside of family don't see that. They only assume. They assume that we met at some drunken frat party or something, starting doing it, and then get engaged 3 months later. It's so frustrating, I don't even bother defending myself to strangers anymore, honestly. They don't know us, and that's fine. The people who know and love us support us, and that's the important thing 

marendale

I'm so glad I found this post!  I feel so young on all the other boards out there because everyone is getting married older than I am.  I began to wonder if I was the only young one on here!  So anyways, me and FI were engaged when we were 20 and 21, we'll be married at 21 and 22.  It is young and it freaks even me out sometimes, but I've never felt so comfortable and so me with someone in my life.  I can be completely me around him and I love him so much for that!  I will still be pursuing my nursing degree a year after the wedding and he'll still be in school a semester after the wedding.  I go to a small Christian college, so everyone around here gets married while still in school.  It's kinda normal for this crazy universe I live in. 

dordtgrl4

Don't worry about it. I'm engaged at 19 and will be married shortly after 21. Sure, people are rude and many have asked if we are pregnant, to which I reply bluntly, "NO. We're virgins and plan on staying that way until our wedding night." Then there are people like my future in-laws that believe that we should wait till we are 28 and established to get married. Well, due to the whole "I'd be dating him for 12 years" and we don't plan on living together till marriage, that whole idea is just ridiculous. We are both "established" now with both of us having 2 part time jobs, putting a down payment on a house, and paying for our own wedding. Does age matter at this point? 

ErinG93

This is my first post- don't be too harsh! I'll be very young when Brenden and I get married. I grew up LDS (Mormon) and although I am not religious at all anymore, I am still on the traditional side. My grandmother was married young to her college professor (my grandfather, now age 94!) and my parents have been together since my mom was 18 and my dad was 20. My mom wanted to get married young, but my dad wanted her to finish school. They ended up getting married a week before my mom went into law school and my dad went into the police academy. (Look at the stats for failed marriages for law students/cops!!) Bren's parents are high school sweethearts also married young.

My parents are incredibly supportive of my FH and me. My mom and I have discussed how people will view my wedding and she said her biggest life regret is not marrying my dad when she was 18. Because they are strict Mormons, they didn't live together before they were married. My mom said financially it was their biggest downfall, that they still pay for today. My parents love Brenden, AND he's 6 years older than me!

Brenden's parents are also very supportive. They are my parents neighbors, and Brenden's mom is my dad's secretary. It's a small world, and Brenden's dad is also a police officer. Our families have been best of friends forever. We have Christmas and Thanksgiving together, and spend most weeknights at each other's houses- we are very much like one family.

Sorry for such a novel of a post, but I believe that judgement should be reserved until one fully knows each situation, no matter what. I think every situation is different and deserves a different standard of judgement. I am acutely aware of the social connotations that people apply to Brenden and me. I know that many will look down on us, but when you love someone and know that you're making a good decision, that's all that matters.