Kid Poll

iamjoesgurl

Due to the recent number of posts about not allowing kids at the wedding, I am starting to believe that this is much more common than I would have expected.  My venue did not charge at all for meals of children under 6 and children who were 6-17 were half price.  Also, we didn't have to pay for alcohol (obviously) for kids.  So I'm wondering how common this is.  (I'm not judging - just curious).

aggiebug

I personally couldn't imagine celebrating my wedding  day without kids being there!  I think I may be most excited about planning their activity station at the reception....

AlexiaANDRobert

We did the age cut off, even if the food would have been less expensive, it would have added approx. 50 ppl to the list.

Several people chose not to attend because of our "no kids" policy and we knew that going in.

I have absolutely NOTHING against children, I just had to to limit the guest list.  I didn't have anymore money for more place settings, center pieces, linens, etc.

I also just feel that a wedding is an evening event and, IMO, it's okay to exclude children.

karbar42

The only kids that will be at our wedding are our flower girls & ring bearer.  We had a huge list of family without the kids and just couldn't afford to include everyone's children.  Plus our wedding is  Fri night and will go fairly late, so we didn't feel it was kid friendly (reception starts at 7 goes to midnight).

opalsky007

I'd never heard of adult-only weddings before TK. To me, weddings are family events. I understand peoples' reasons for not including kids, but to me, it was important for our mostly OOT guests to be able to bring their families along.

Many of the families with children wound up not being able to come at all. We only had two kids, since the other parents in attendance opted for a kid-free evening. Even if there had been more, it wouldn't have been a financial burden because we had a half-price kids' meal, a consumption bar, and a lot of empty seats due to last minute declines.

kate51485

I have a bunch of older cousins because I'm the youngest grandchild, and I couldn't imagine not having been included in their weddings.  I would have been really sad.

We don't have a lot of young kids in our family right now just because of age cycles, so barring any surprises, the youngest we'd have attending will I think be 6 or so by that time.  I will have a few friends with kids under 2, but they will be invited as well.

FutureMrsTR

The only kids invited are my half-brother (who is 13) and my half-sister (16).

janedoe1113a

We didn't invite any children.

*BeachBride0410*

We had a DW so a little different, but if I would have had a local wedding, all kids would have been invited.  I couldn't have imagined my wedding without my cousins and DH's.  I am the oldest of 14 grand kids...

shellydiane820

The only children that were at our wedding were Nick's nieces.  I could have gone without inviting them, but it was important for Nick to have them there, and who am I to tell him no to something like that?

Our cutoff age was 16.  Which, I feel like 16 is closer to an adult than kid...at least the 16 year olds I know.

lyndausvi

  In our families the only kids invited to weddings are first cousins, siblings of the couple, kids of the couple and nieces/nephews.     Only my 7 nieces/nephews fell into those categories.    If we expanded that to include kids of cousin/friends/co-workers, etc the number would have increased to over 60.  Ummm, no not happening for costs alone.

 Lucky for us all of our family and friends follow the same guideline so it's a not issue and kids are assumed NOT invited unless told otherwise.

aggiebug

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_kid-poll?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:e974cfa1-a50e-4579-a567-b886cf756cf3Post:f363acbd-1890-4802-8a71-ccd8844d97e4">Kid Poll</a>:
[QUOTE]Due to the recent number of posts about not allowing kids at the wedding, I am starting to believe that this is much more common than I would have expected.  My venue did not charge at all for meals of children under 6 and children who were <strong>6-17 were half price</strong>.  Also, we didn't have to pay for alcohol (obviously) for kids.  So I'm wondering how common this is.  (I'm not judging - just curious).
Posted by iamjoesgurl[/QUOTE]

ha that is crazy to me!  I can see the half price to 12 or 13 but 17 seems old for me. but I would take it and run for sure.   I ate more than my dad when I was a teenager, and have you ever seen a teenage boy eat?

luckyme502

We invited all the kids to the wedding.  I have never been to a wedding without kids.  I agree that I think weddings are a family event and couldn't imagine them not being there. 

FH has a brother and sister who are 5 years old.  I couldn't imagine not inviting them.  My daughter is 13, not getting married without her. 

Jessie888

Children are invited to our wedding whether they are family or not. It is a celebration and kids always dance and entertain. I can understand why some people want an adult friendly wedding, but its just not what i wanted.

[Deleted User]

We're having the FG and a few of my cousins who are teens. 
Oh course any nursing babies are welcome.  We don't have a ton of children in our lives. 

[Deleted User]

of course it's an issue. kids are getting less well-behaved, and parents are getting more entitlement-minded. both at an exponential rate.

SummerBoston10

Our decision to not invite kids had nothing to do with costs.  Our wedding ceremony doesn't even start until 6:30pm and it goes until midnight...it is not a place for kids.  Plus, the only kids that we know are children of cousins and we barely even know these kids.  Only two of our friends have kids and they are babies so their parents wouldn't want to bring them anyway. 

My sister who is also my MOH is only 16 so I guess we do actually have one "kid" attending......

SnShne322

We had our 3 nieces there.  One was OOT so we didn't think it was fair not to let the other 2 come (not only that, but it would have probably started a fight).  Luckily we only had a couple other guests with children who didn't seem to mind not having the kids come.  All my other family and friends are over 18 so it wasn't an issue. 

One of our guests did bring their 6 month old baby.  I didn't have a problem with it as he was very well behaved, but I heard later that some of my guests were appalled at having a baby at a reception.  I thought that was a strange twist!

JessAndTrav

We invited a few kids, but not many.

Invites went to:
-My nephew (RB)
-My cousin's daughter (FG)
-My HS teacher's child, because I knew they wouldn't come without her
-My nephew's cousin who is basically my other nephew
-My other cousin's daughter (because I felt wrong not inviting her)
-A family friend's grandchild, because he lives with them and I knew they couldn't get a sitter
-2 girls I used to nanny for because they were from OOT

We only had 6 come altogether including one that wasn't invited from the start, but they had RSVPd for 3 out of the 3 invited, yet one of them couldn't come, so they brought the kid.

In the end, I really didn't care. I had a blast and the kids all seemed to have a good time. I had put together goody bags and made sure to have an extra one. Thankfully I made that extra one.

Night_Sprite

Due to the generation gaps of my family we had fewer than 15 people under 20.  It wasn't a big deal for us.  

sarahmk5

The only children invited are first cousins and nieces/nephews.  I think most people are understanding of limiting the amount of children, and everyone has gotten the hint based on the addressing of the STDs.  We've even been told by several couples that they're grateful for a night out without the kids and have already arranged babysitters.

temerityjane

I said that kids and teens and everyone is invited, but I would like it noted for the record that this is not my choice. I would prefer to have a child free wedding.

srkropf

I want my friends and family to bring their kids. However, we're having a small wedding and I know all the kids that will be there, and they are well behaved.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

I don't know that we have kids' meals, or different prices. We're inviting about a dozen children under age 12 (out of 113 people, as of now), and it's likely that none of them will come. They are ALL from out of state. We're inviting 3 teens too (16, 17, 18). I suppose if my guest list included about 40 children, I may have made a different decision.

mwhitson14

We had kids there, and I didn't even notice them the day of. None were acting crazy or wild, and I didn't even hear the 3 babies that were there cry a second.

katiewhompus

We had about 8 kids under the age of 5 at the wedding and they were a lot of fun. They were very well behaved during the ceremony and spent most of the time running around on the lawn outside with their parents watching them. I also have a lot of really great pictures of them playing that I put into my wedding album.
I also sent them their own rsvp cards that they filled in "accepts" with crayon and drew little 5 year old versions of flowers and hearts on the back for us.

aggiebug

Katie- did you do have any kids activities.  Like programs they can color? or a coloring book at the reception?

I am going to have close to 10 kids under the age of 5 (maybe more!) so I am trying to think of something fun for them to stay entertained.  didn't know if you did anything

Calypso1977

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_kid-poll?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:e974cfa1-a50e-4579-a567-b886cf756cf3Post:bb150c69-bbce-4003-b75d-74ca122b1626">Re: Kid Poll</a>:
[QUOTE]Katie- did you do have any kids activities.  Like programs they can color? or a coloring book at the reception? I am going to have close to 10 kids under the age of 5 (maybe more!) so I am trying to think of something fun for them to stay entertained.  didn't know if you did anything :)
Posted by aggiebug[/QUOTE]

this is another thing i honestly dont get.... why do the bride and groom have to keep the kids entertained?  isnt that hte parents job?  i mean, if you really want to do this, great, but this, together with babysitting services is really the parents responsibility IMO.

quotequeen

The only kids I'm not inviting are my bosses' kids, since I don't know them at all and none of the bosses will come to the wedding anyway.  Other than that, I really hope people bring their kids.

katiewhompus

Aggie: I had brought some coloring books and crayons for them but they didn't even touch them. Their parents had brought food, small toys, etc and they spent most of their time running around the grassy area or dancing with the "growned ups". Part of why we chose our venue was the huge size of the inside area long with the outside lawn so we could have the kids.

It's also a good way to get rid of any little kid toys that people (like my mother and sister-in-law) wanted to get rid of. They put them in a basket and the little ones could play with them and then take them home.

tenofcups4me

For my first wedding, we only invited our siblings' kids (our nieces and nephews). They were all part of the ceremony and then we set up a room upstairs at the venue for them with a sitter during the reception. They were all young (5 kids, ranging from 2 to about 8) and we didn't want their parents or our parents to have to watch them during the reception, but we knew they'd want them close by. This way, the parents could run up for a minute or two and check in, but not have to watch them all night long.

I've rarely seen children at the weddings I attend and if there are kids, it's usually just a handful of nieces and nephews, but nobody's else's children.