"Cake and Punch"....and The Problem With Sugar

RebeccaB88

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_food-cakes_cake-and-punchand-the-problem-with-sugar?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:23Discussion:e2ba0197-01d8-4c8e-9c63-84b6cb487311Post:f9d4d20e-4b27-45f3-b4e7-45ab88c758b7">Re: "Cake and Punch"....and The Problem With Sugar</a>:
[QUOTE]While your question of what would you serve if people didn't eat added sugar was interesting and could have sparked an interesting conversation, I think it got lost in the long lecture (not attacking, but that is what it came out like) on the evils of sugar from most every reply you posted. Honestly, I know that by the time I finished your OP I was annoyed because it sounded like you were here to preach about evil sugar. When people tried to respond to you it just kind of escalated how you came across with the lecture.
Posted by staar987[/QUOTE]

Times two here. Hell, I'm diabetic and I think you sound crazy and preachy, and a million times worse than my endocrinologist.  Your problem with sugar is just that... YOUR problem. Not ours.  If you don't want to serve it, don't.  If you don't want to eat it, don't.  Just don't take it upon yourself to demand that other people see and do things your way, because you don't have that right. You might have some interesting information buried in there somewhere, but your delivery all but guarantees that people will tune it out and/or dismiss it, because you sound batspit nuts.

And give people some credit. Not every diabetic who consumes a few bites of sugar reacts like Lindsey Lohan snorting her first line just out of rehab.  Most of us do have self-control.  That part is just flat out insulting. 

Viczaesar

This is an odd thread. 

positivek

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_food-cakes_cake-and-punchand-the-problem-with-sugar?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:23Discussion:e2ba0197-01d8-4c8e-9c63-84b6cb487311Post:68653992-3ab4-4a86-abfe-b479005ad9a5">Re: "Cake and Punch"....and The Problem With Sugar</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: "Cake and Punch"....and The Problem With Sugar : Times two here. Hell, I'm diabetic and I think you sound crazy and preachy, and a million times worse than my endocrinologist.  Your problem with sugar is just that... YOUR problem. <span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:12px;line-height:normal;" class="Apple-style-span"><strong>I acknowledged legit points science <em>makes </em>about the sugar in the punch and cake<em>- </em>that sugar <em>is</em> a serious issue. Not just something <em>I'm</em> talking about. Something lots and lots of people are talking about</strong>. </span>Not ours.  If you don't want to serve it, don't.  <span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:12px;" class="Apple-style-span"><strong>Buy and serve whatever you want under the sun if that's what you want. No one's trying to take away the cake here</strong>.</span>If you don't want to eat it, don't.  <span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:12px;line-height:normal;" class="Apple-style-span"><strong>I don't know how many times I can repeat this. I will personally eat it. I would usually make the choice to eat the cake. Ok? Due to where my will power is, the served cake would be eaten, by me</strong></span><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:12px;line-height:normal;" class="Apple-style-span">.</span>Just don't take it upon yourself to demand that other people see and do things your way, because you don't have that right. <span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:12px;line-height:normal;" class="Apple-style-span"><strong>I put it out there, given the problems, as to whether anyone thought that if enough<em> other </em>people<em>- as in, people with more will power, who are not me- </em>might theoretically totally swear the stuff off in the near future- to where it would change receptions. </strong></span>You might have some interesting information buried in there somewhere, but your delivery all but guarantees that people will tune it out and/or dismiss it, because you sound batspit nuts. And give people some credit. Not every diabetic who consumes a few bites of sugar reacts like Lindsey Lohan snorting her first line just out of rehab.  Most of us do have self-control.  That part is just flat out insulting. <strong>never said all diabetics are "x". nice try.</strong>
Posted by RebeccaB88[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Bolded are almost all direct quotes. You didn't read the last two posts. Or are pretending not to. S<span style="font-family:Arial;line-height:normal;" class="Apple-style-span">orry I indirectly made you personally feel bad. But pretending I didn't clarify intent doesn't help. When you ostensibly found a post not even <em>directed</em> towards you insulting, in your mind the best idea is to <em>directly</em> call me "batspit nuts" and come up with some really creative (negative, naturally) assumptions. My crime? Posing a hypothetical "what if", because it was "too long" with "too many sources". Doesn't matter I said I myself am not giving up cake any time soon. But you extract what suits you.
</span></div><div><font face="Arial" class="Apple-style-span"><span style="line-height:normal;" class="Apple-style-span">
</span></font></div><div><font face="Arial" class="Apple-style-span"><span style="line-height:normal;" class="Apple-style-span"><p style="line-height:14px;font:normal normal normal 11px/normal Arial;color:#1f1f1f;margin:0px;">Cited sources- yes. "and thus YOU MUST do THIS"- no. I eat sugar sometimes. I can't demand you don't. If you truly take issue with preaching on principle, take a look around the boards to see some real, intentional directives about this or that being definitively right, with no room for debate. Try using <em>"don't take it upon yourself to demand that other people see and do things your way"</em> because no one has <em>"that right" </em>when that goes down. Or is this reserved for lone wolf newbs, because it's just too sweet and easy? </p><p style="line-height:14px;font:normal normal normal 11px/normal Arial;color:#1f1f1f;margin:0px;"> </p></span></font><span style="font-family:Arial;line-height:normal;" class="Apple-style-span">I'll work on softening delivery, but at the same time, in the TK universe? This was pretty mild. I'm hardly the only one on the thread who could use work on delivery. Seen way harsher elsewhere- it hardly gets called out. You felt indirectly preached to, but you're still standing on the side with a host of PP regs to back you up. So you're alright. I've got me. I think you came out on top with this one. I think you know it. </span></div><div><span style="font-family:Arial;line-height:normal;" class="Apple-style-span">
</span></div><div><span style="font-family:Arial;line-height:normal;" class="Apple-style-span">I kinda think you rolled with that.</span><font face="Arial" class="Apple-style-span"><span style="line-height:normal;" class="Apple-style-span"><p style="line-height:14px;font:normal normal normal 11px/normal Arial;color:#1f1f1f;margin:0px;"> </p></span></font></div>

Viczaesar

Good lord, OP, you're not helping your cause.

positivek

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_food-cakes_cake-and-punchand-the-problem-with-sugar?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:23Discussion:e2ba0197-01d8-4c8e-9c63-84b6cb487311Post:418420cb-f598-4773-b00d-066edbcff8cb">Re: "Cake and Punch"....and The Problem With Sugar</a>:
[QUOTE]Good lord, OP, you're not helping your cause.
Posted by Viczaesar[/QUOTE]

<div>Those accusations were totally out there, Vic. That's made up stuff I didn't even say. Everybody knows what my intentions were because I wrote them. </div><div>
</div><div>This is just the point where a PP sweeps aside clarification, dreams up the worst they can about OP's beliefs and just- invents things. It does not need to happen.</div>

NOLAbridealmost

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_food-cakes_cake-and-punchand-the-problem-with-sugar?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:23Discussion:e2ba0197-01d8-4c8e-9c63-84b6cb487311Post:ab376647-9b24-40d3-81ad-7b21f0591825">Re: "Cake and Punch"....and The Problem With Sugar</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: "Cake and Punch"....and The Problem With Sugar : Those accusations were totally out there, Vic. That's made up stuff I didn't even say. Everybody knows what my intentions were because I wrote them.  This is just the point where a PP sweeps aside clarification, dreams up the worst they can about OP's beliefs and just- invents things. It does not need to happen.
Posted by positivek[/QUOTE]



None of this would have happened without the sermon that started it all.

positivek

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_food-cakes_cake-and-punchand-the-problem-with-sugar?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:23Discussion:e2ba0197-01d8-4c8e-9c63-84b6cb487311Post:e8a2d949-239a-4aca-a734-a27645e90dea">Re: "Cake and Punch"....and The Problem With Sugar</a>:
[QUOTE]1.  No one here is angry or hurt or offended.  We're just annoyed.  The reason we keep assuming YOU are so emotionally invested is because you keep accusing US of being so, and really, you're just the annoying kid on the school bus loudly proclaiming how ants copulate. 2. I have not seen one person accuse you of making anything up.  If anyone is "sweeping aside" posts and just inventing things to respond to, it's you.
Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div><div>1) "How ants copulate"? This is so out there I can't even.</div><div>2) "I have seen..." Read again. Not what I said was done. And I didn't invent a thing. Responded to direct quotes of PP.</div><div>
</div><div>You were annoyed. But I didn't do something fundamentally wrong with my OP. My OP was just flipped from "not me, but what if others?" to "me totally, and you better too". </div><div>
</div><div>It comes off as justification for PP's angle. As if responding to false accusations is wrong. And...insubordinate. An "annoying kid" who should be shamed out of self-defense when called "batspit crazy" just for OP'ing an idea with good intentions. </div>
</div>

RebeccaB88

If you'll read, I didn't say you WERE batspit nuts. I said you SOUNDED that way. You're probably a perfectly nice person, when you're not lecturing strangers about their eating habits.  That kinda crosses a line to a lot of people.  But if you moderate yourself a little bit, get off the soapbox, and converse with people rather than arguing with them, you might find out that they're willing to give what you have to say a chance.  The way you're coming across here, no one really wants to hear it.  We're metaphorically rolling our eyes and walking away. The only person who has permission to talk to me about my sugar consumption is my endocrinologist, and considering that my A1C is 6.2, and he's thrilled, he doesn't feel the need to.

STARMOON44

The point of cake and punch is that it is acceptable because it isn't at a meal time. If you don't care for the options served, dont eat them. If you lack the will power to avoid foods you'd rather not eat, get professional help.

positivek

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_food-cakes_cake-and-punchand-the-problem-with-sugar?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:23Discussion:e2ba0197-01d8-4c8e-9c63-84b6cb487311Post:b7ddc38b-3ef5-4ace-8d2b-1e8557a6bc6f">Re:quot;Cake and Punchquot;....and The Problem With Sugar</a>:
[QUOTE]The point of cake and punch is that it is acceptable because it isn't at a meal time. If you don't care for the options served, dont eat them. If you lack the will power to avoid foods you'd rather not eat, get professional help.
Posted by STARMOON44[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Most of this was already covered, and the assumption for what I care to eat cleared up.</div><div>
</div><div>Although the last part is new. Is the "you" in the "will power" statement, me (positivek)? Just asking, since I referenced will power earlier. You might get flamed for lecturing (lecturing meaning when you issue a personal, individual directive as to how someone should proceed healthwise- as opposed to just relating some facts that support the idea of a potential general trend). </div><div>
</div><div>Assuming the rules are the same for everybody, anyway.

</div>

Jen4948

When all is said and done, the only person whose business it is whether or not they eat sugar or anything else is that person.

Your post is very preachy about it.  I for one don't appreciate that.

[Deleted User]

This reminds me of when I'm walking to class and have to go around the person standing on the street corner, screaming about the Bible and how "we're all going to burn for our sins."

[Deleted User]

Honestly OP, if I wanted to hear about the toxicity of sugar I would've talked to my doctor or researched it myself. But why stop now, let's hear your preachings about alcohol!

Jen4948

I think it's not your place to decide what other people should eat.  Adults monitor their own diets and medications.  If you don't want to serve sugary food at your own wedding reception, or eat what others serve, that's certainly your call.  But if it's not your wedding, and the couple and hosts do want to serve sugar, that's up to them, not you.

positivek

Ugh. There is so much frenzy about "telling people what to do" when in reality, the only person who was ever told what to do in this thread.... was me. I cannot be quoted where I actually instruct or dictate to anyone what to personally do about what they eat, and that's because it didn't happen- no matter how much the idea gets echoed. I did say eat what you want. I did suggest contributing to the original "what if" question and not serving up snark out of boredom. I did share information to back up a potential shift. If you don't like the information, you don't have to pretend someone who is sharing info to support an idea is doing something offensive by way of instructing that you personally change. You can just ignore the information because you don't like it.

This is standard issue thread cherry picking- picking up from a thread what supports a dominant opinion, ignoring the rest. Let's ignore the fact that I was instructed to see a counselor, which would have you blanching were I to say it myself at any point to another commenter. Let's totally ignore that. 

I know the idea of a lurker OP "telling everyone what to do" is more fun and something interesting to really latch on to (than just an ostensibly boring discussion about food choices) but of course, that doesn't meant that's actually what the OP did. The bandwagoning and the original topic of "What If?" went off the rails.

It's too bad that things have gotten so dull that further invention on a thread dead for a month was the best bet.

positivek

If you have strong feelings about preaching, that sentiment could translate pretty well on any groupthink responses on potluck weddings or just about any etiquette issue that comes up, when an OP brings up said thing in some way, but not if they should do it. No doubt you'd have no reservations making a similar statement in response to a Reg.

Jen4948

PositiveK, if you don't want to serve cake or punch, that's certainly your privilege-but don't go around making speeches to everyone about how bad for them you think it is.  It's their job to monitor their food intake-not yours.

mybestfriendswedding15

I am admitting here that I skipped over half of the comments. Just too long and my kids are getting grumpy. I just wanted to state that DH and I eat Primal. To be honest, I couldn't eat a bunch of sugary items if I tried. As a treat, my daughter and I had ice cream the other day and it made me sick. But eating this way has taught me how to listen to my body more. I don't overindulge the way I used to. We still have sugar in our coffee everyday, but use 1 tsp instead of 1 tbsp. Judging by the popularity of the natural foods section and the produce section, I do believe that many people are starting to take a healthier approach to eating. I don't think that people will completely give up sugar, but it shouldn't have to be an all or nothing situation. Everything in moderation.
Now as far as weddings go, I personally don't know anyone that has had a cake and punch wedding. I don't believe they are done much around here. But for any wedding, it's a celebration, a time to indulge a bit. Of course, if you truly can't have cake, then stick with veggies and fruit. I have never been to a wedding where they weren't served as well.

Maggie0829

Oh holy hell can't we all just let this thread die already so that PositiveK can go on with her non-sugar eating ways?

Dreamergirl8812

positivek

Maggie, you're taking a question that was "what might the options be", which was answered on page 1, and inventing directives I never gave and a lifestyle I don't live. I reported on a trend I see. You likely know this, but that wasn't as interesting as jumping on the bandwagon for made up stuff on my posts.

Where does it say I don't eat sugar? Quote it.
Where does it say I want to direct people on what to eat? Quote it.

You can't because- it's not there. Your moxy would be far more convincing if you dared to perhaps go against more popular opinions on the boards. Inventing things about one OP because other people are? Eh. You're running with the crowd. Whatever.

There is a whole lot of skating over the issue that I in fact have gotten quotable directive after directive. The more the contradiction of teaching-someone-not-to-lecture-by-lecturing-them is dodged, the more hilariously obvious the contradiction is.

Like the contradiction of asserting you want a thread to die, by commenting on it, and thus resuscitating it.

Dreamergirl8812

[Deleted User]

It was so difficult to read through this that I have absolutely no idea what the point was.

julestoocool

Why so much hate on this thread??? I think the OP made some great points and supported them with facts; how rare is that on a wedding site!?

I really think the original post was interesting, if not somewhat misguided: I have never read about a cp reception that didn't have some kind of savory or sugarless options.

Still, OP, I think the thoughts you brought up about a shifting cultural attitude on sugar WILL have some effect on the food served at weddings, and maybe even catering in the future. I'm in the process of planning now, and oddly enough have been worrying about overdoing the sugar during the reception, so your post had great timing.

Thanks for the thoughts!

MobKaz

@KnotPorscha, another dead thread that needs to be closed.