Private ceremony and then symbolic ceremony with family/friends

kipnus

I have not looked at our marriage certificate since we got it in the mail. It's at the bottom of a desk drawer. I agree with PPs--it's a silly thing to be sentimental about. Why don't you do something cute like this, as a memento? You could gift it to him early, before the wedding.

http://www.pbfingers.com/2011/10/30/one-year-wedding-anniversary-gift/

[Deleted User]

If you planned the wedding ceremony to be in Virginia, how did he not realize until now that he's getting married in Virginia? What's more important, celebrating the beginning of your marriage in front of your family and friends or having a piece of paper with the word 'West' on it? I think your fiance needs to re-evaluate his priorities.

OjitosVerdes

Bel831 said:

@simply fated- Yes we picked a place last year, we looked in both WV and VA to be near our immediate family members. We both loved the venue we chose in VA.

This dilemma came about because FI did not know about the marriage license requirements before last night. He just assumed since we live in WV, the license/certificate was for WV. When I informed him it would be VA since we were getting married in VA he now wants to do quick marriage in WV before our planned ceremony so we could say we were married in WV. It's less than three months to our wedding and unfortunately I can't afford to lose the deposit and find something else. If it was closer to the WV border, we could have had ceremony in WV and still have the reception in VA, but its just too far apart and too much of a hassle to make everyone travel to two locations when most don't even live here.

OP, I'm really not trying to be a jerk here, but this sends up so many red flags for me.  He is fine with the VA wedding until he realizes that the legalities have to be in WV, then he wants a "quickie wedding" there? If he's truly that sentimental, then he is being ridiculous and you need to put your foot down. From what you've described, it sounds like that might just be the case. But if he hasn't always been this way about WV, or he throws a fit about legally getting married in VA, then I agree wholeheartedly with the OPs that you need to do a little digging. 

BakerMommy

Would he be satisfied with centerpieces with the flower of West Virginia?

We [me, DH, and witnesses] actually signed our marriage certificate the night before, so we wouldn't have to worry about the day of. Our officiant kept it and signed it after the ceremony so we weren't actually married on paper until after our wedding. Could you do your signing in West Virginia and have your officiant sign it the of the day in Virginia?

BakerMommy

StageManager14 said:

BakerMommy said:

Would he be satisfied with centerpieces with the flower of West Virginia?

We [me, DH, and witnesses] actually signed our marriage certificate the night before, so we wouldn't have to worry about the day of. Our officiant kept it and signed it after the ceremony so we weren't actually married on paper until after our wedding. Could you do your signing in West Virginia and have your officiant sign it the of the day in Virginia?

You were worried about signing the marriage license on your wedding day?

BakerMommy

I fail at quoting, apparently.

No, we weren't, it was just how our officiant always does it. One less thing to think about, I guess.

kipnus

BakerMommy said:

I fail at quoting, apparently. No, we weren't, it was just how our officiant always does it. One less thing to think about, I guess.

Huh. That's a standard part of our ceremonies up here.

[Deleted User]

The user and all related content has been deleted.

Bel831

I talked with him about it and told him it would be fake and probably make a lot of family mad, so its better to just stick to the original plan. Not to mention we have enough going on that day to worry about fitting another stop in! He seemed to understand. For whatever reason having a WV marriage license is important to him but I told him its too late for that. Again, he didn't know that the license was issued where you got married, he thought you got it issued for whatever state you resided in. He's learning the hard way for not asking the right questions in advanced.

Thanks for the input.

aurianna

Glad he understood.
Just keep reminding him that the people he grew up with and loved in WV will be with him to see him get married. That's the real connection with the state.

Are you going to have a get away car by any chance? With "Just Married" on it? (I know a lot of people don't do that anymore). But if you did you could use one with WV plates and make sure there's a good picture of it and you guys in the back seat.

There are lots of ways you could incorporate WV. It'll be ok.

Good luck! Thanks for the update.

aurianna

dp.
Ok... the Knot really needs to add the optional "discard" field on their POST code. Seriously. Whoever coded this up needs to be reassessed.

cmmurphy89

Tell him to keep his driver's license in WV lol 

happyfor25

@Bel831, I'm glad you got him to understand and definitely try your best to incorporate his love of WV in the wedding!