Etiquette

Second wedding?

My husband got back from Afghanistan in November 2012 we decided on December 27th, 2012 to go to our towns court house and tie the knot. We said we would do the court house deal and later on we would have have actual "wedding" with the dress and everything and we've decided to do it on our two year wedding anniversary December 27th, 2014. So, I wanted to know do I send out save the dates? How should I go about everything? I know most people have vow renewals when it comes to being married for 10 or however many years but our situation is a little different! Any advice?
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Re: Second wedding?

  • @JSecor1227 ; before you get crucified on here just search 'PPD' and you'll find your answer there. 

    Congrats on your marriage!
    grumbledore
  • really.... AGAIN? another one? How do people think this is okay... ugh ugh ugh i'll never understand. 
  • edited July 2013
    ETA Don't mind me, just incapable of adding gifs 
  • edited July 2013
    My husband got back from Afghanistan in November 2012 we decided on December 27th, 2012 to go to our towns court house and tie the knot. We said we would do the court house deal and later on we would have have actual "wedding" with the dress and everything and we've decided to do it on our two year wedding anniversary December 27th, 2014. So, I wanted to know do I send out save the dates? How should I go about everything? I know most people have vow renewals when it comes to being married for 10 or however many years but our situation is a little different! Any advice?
    I can't type outside of this box... anyways, since no matter what anyone says you're going to end up doing what u want.. just skip the whole ceremony re-do, just have a celebration of your marriage ..don't wear a wedding dress, or any of the "firsts" because they would just be fake re-dos, if you want to send out invites for a celebration of your union say (your name) and (his name) were married on December (#) 2012 and in celebration of their marriage, they are throwing a get together/ dinner/ bbq? at (place)  I would think that would be acceptable.. what do other Knotties think?  Is that a good idea or bad? hm.. 
  • bethsmilesbethsmiles Denver, CO
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
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    @PickleJuiceSlurper - I think your suggestion would be alright. But I still think OP should wait till an actual benchmark anniversary like 10, 25, or 50 years.

    OP - why do the big party now?


  • My husband got back from Afghanistan in November 2012 we decided on December 27th, 2012 to go to our towns court house and tie the knot. We said we would do the court house deal and later on we would have have actual "wedding" with the dress and everything and we've decided to do it on our two year wedding anniversary December 27th, 2014. So, I wanted to know do I send out save the dates? How should I go about everything? I know most people have vow renewals when it comes to being married for 10 or however many years but our situation is a little different! Any advice?
    I can't type outside of this box... anyways, since no matter what anyone says you're going to end up doing what u want.. just skip the whole ceremony re-do, just have a celebration of your marriage ..don't wear a wedding dress, or any of the "firsts" because they would just be fake re-dos, if you want to send out invites for a celebration of your union say (your name) and (his name) were married on December (#) 2012 and in celebration of their marriage, they are throwing a get together/ dinner/ bbq? at (place)  I would think that would be acceptable.. what do other Knotties think?  Is that a good idea or bad? hm.. 
    I think this is a great idea. I'm personally not opposed to you wearing a wedding dress, hey - you didn't get to do it the first time around so whatever. I know other people here don't like it, and I see their point too. But yes, frame this as a "celebration of your union". If you are going to wear a wedding dress I would probably recommend against the big ball gown and go with something a little more demure (a lace shift for example - and those are super in style now anyways).
    GlassButtonchibiyuiFLDiverCheleLyn
  • My husband got back from Afghanistan in November 2012 we decided on December 27th, 2012 to go to our towns court house and tie the knot. We said we would do the court house deal and later on we would have have actual "wedding" with the dress and everything and we've decided to do it on our two year wedding anniversary December 27th, 2014. So, I wanted to know do I send out save the dates? How should I go about everything? I know most people have vow renewals when it comes to being married for 10 or however many years but our situation is a little different! Any advice?

    This shit again?

    YOU DON'T SEND OUT STDS. You're already married.

    I appreciate your H being in the military. My friend growing up, his now ex-wife was able to plan a nice wedding six weeks before his deployment, there was no PPD.

    Totally okay to have a party but skip the BMs, white dress, first dance, etc.

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    STARMOON44
  • @PickleJuiceSlurper -  I'm sorry if my post offended you in any way or anyone for that matter it wasn't intended.
    AroundTheBlock
  • You can have a vow renewal at any point in your marriage. I would call it that on invitations and plan your grand vow renewal accordingly. Yes send save the dates and anything else you would like to do to renew your vows. Happy planning!
    tinambride
  • @PickleJuiceSlurper -  I'm sorry if my post offended you in any way or anyone for that matter it wasn't intended.
    still can't type ughhh... it didn't offend me, im a military spouse, and people have "PPD" a whole lot often as people might guess.. it is distasteful IMO to throw a whole fake re-do ceremony.. but I would still have the celebration of your union with your families if that your families werent able to be present during your real wedding is what mattered most to you. Just like the PP, a kick ass awesome party :) 
  • You're already married, so it would be great to have a party to celebrate your marriage. Because this isn't a wedding, it means no bridal party, no fancy white dress and no ceremony since you did that already. If you skipped you college graduation, you wouldn't set up a ceremony two years after the fact, right? This is the same situation. 

    An anniversary party with great booze and food will always be a hit, however. It's just not a second wedding. 

    harper0813FLDiver
  • agree with @misssunshine , but I have a confession- I was an early grad in high school (meaning I took all the required courses by december of my senior year) So I was out of high school in December, but in June I still walked with my class in graduation.  So I never get that analogy. 
  • When we mentioned to his family about redoing it they were so happy and excited because they weren't there at the time the situation wasn't the best so we didn't exactly tell them until AFTER we were married.

  • Wow! All of you make a lot of sense. Thank you and sorry about the stupid post. A lot of our family wasn't there and that's why we wanted to do it so they could experience it but I like the idea of a kick ass party!
    Im so glad someone who wanted to throw a PPD actually isnt BSC and is listening to our suggestions! Yay! And you won't spend a bucket load of money on PPD Wedding staples if you just go with the party route! 
    meggiemoKeptInStitchessouthernbelle0915SuperMinty
  • I wasn't sure that's why I wanted some advice on it. 
  • Throw a kickass party, but you are already married and had your wedding, so don't do any wedding stuff; attendants, wedding gown, walking down the aisle, ect...
    JSecor1227
  • Yeah I noticed when I got my head bit off. I didn't mean to offend or piss anyone off I just didn't understand.
    polly212
  • Congratulations! You're already married, so there's no reason to send save the dates for your wedding. Therefore, you don't have to worry about how to go about it. Problem solved!

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    JSecor1227grumbledore
  • QueerFemmeQueerFemme
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
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    edited July 2013
    agree with @misssunshine , but I have a confession- I was an early grad in high school (meaning I took all the required courses by december of my senior year) So I was out of high school in December, but in June I still walked with my class in graduation.  So I never get that analogy. 

    Did you walk in december AND june? 

    ETA:  The difference is, the school only has one celebration, so you walked in it (presumably).  You finished your credits early, but you walked in the june celebration.

    That would be like "oh, hey, I got my marriage license in December, but our wedding isn't until June".  Which would be fine (if licenses were actually valid for 6 months), but when you get MARRIED (which is what a JOP ceremony is) in December, you can't get MARRIED again in June. 

  • Thank you again everyone sorry to make your blood boil. You helped me understand.
    polly212
  • edited July 2013
    No, I only walked in June but I was out of high school in December.

    ETA: Ok, good, now i understand : ) 
  • KeptInStitchesKeptInStitches the Northern Plains
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
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    Oh hey, no problem, @JSecor1227! Blood's not boiling here. I'm just glad you were willing to take suggestions.
  • @picklejuiceslurper what'd you do between dec & may? When I finished my MS requirements in dec and the degree wasn't awarded until may, I almost didn't get a job requiring an MS. Ya know even though this happens all the time lol
    I guess, to tell you the truth, I've never had much of a desire to grow facial hair. I think I've managed to play quarterback just fine without a mustache. - Peyton
  • @picklejuiceslurper what'd you do between dec & may? When I finished my MS requirements in dec and the degree wasn't awarded until may, I almost didn't get a job requiring an MS. Ya know even though this happens all the time lol
    A week after I was finished with high school I left for college, the college just had to call over to my high school for my transcript saying I had my diploma and completed all my required courses. easy peasy. 
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