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What To Do!! Bridesmaid Jewelry!

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Re: What To Do!! Bridesmaid Jewelry!

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    Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
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    itzMS said:
    lwoehlk said:
    However I think I have a better Idea as to what to do, I have been really thinking about what every one has been saying, The rude and non rude ones. As I do not feel I have to get them an extra gift and their jewelry I give them to the wedding should be good enough I decided to not give pearls. I found these initial necklaces on the same site of the pearl sets. I think that there so cute but I just haven't ordered from www.evesaddiction.com before so I don't know how there stuff is?  

    An to whoever mentioned esty I checked it out they do have some nice things, thanks for that HELPFUL input!
    Honestly I hate initial things. I got one as my will you be my BM gift recently and I will never wear it again. People are just saying to find things you know your girls will like. If you think they will all like pearls, or these new ones, fine.


    I agree with this. I find it incredibly hard to believe that 10 women would all like the exact same necklace (or exact same anything) and that the same necklace would fit all 10 womens' personal tastes.

    But hey, maybe the OP's 10 friends are clones...you never know.

    Well if they aren't now they will be on the wedding day...OP will see to that.

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    ViczaesarViczaesar member
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    Marshmallow22 said:
    @itzMS Nooo.. I don't think I am. There were a couple of you talking about how disgusted you were with receiving the same gift as someone else -

    "It's like saying "I got you this jewelry so that you'll look the way I want you to for my wedding. But you can also wear it for other stuff." Trust me. I was on the receiving end of the jewelry and it was kind of a slap in the face."

    and

    "To her face, I said they were lovely.  In my head I thought how inconsiderate to purchase me jewlery she KNOWS I will never wear again." 


    "To her face, I said they were lovely.  In my head I thought how inconsiderate to purchase me jewlery she KNOWS I will never wear again."

    Did you even bother to read the rest of that sentence after the word inconsiderate?  Buying somebody something that the giver knows the receiver will not get use out of IS the very definition of inconsiderate.  If you think she said "It's inconsiderate of the bride to give me something that's like what the other girls got" instead of "It's inconsiderate of the bride to give me something that she already knows I will not use" then you need to work on your reading comprehension skills.



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    ViczaesarViczaesar member
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    lwoehlk said:
    However I think I have a better Idea as to what to do, I have been really thinking about what every one has been saying, The rude and non rude ones. As I do not feel I have to get them an extra gift and their jewelry I give them to the wedding should be good enough I decided to not give pearls. I found these initial necklaces on the same site of the pearl sets. I think that there so cute but I just haven't ordered from www.evesaddiction.com before so I don't know how there stuff is?  

    An to whoever mentioned esty I checked it out they do have some nice things, thanks for that HELPFUL input!
    Honestly I hate initial things. I got one as my will you be my BM gift recently and I will never wear it again. People are just saying to find things you know your girls will like. If you think they will all like pearls, or these new ones, fine.
    Ditto.



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    Blue_BirdBlue_Bird member
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    This isn't even fun MUD.
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    clharrison2clharrison2 member
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    I guess I can see both sides on this issue. Honestly, until I read this post, I did not think gifts were that big of an issue. I have only been in one wedding, and we all got bracelets the day of with our names engraved on them. I was very thankful and appreciative. Do I wear it everyday? Of course not, but it is a sweet memory from my best friends wedding day. Besides, it was her day, not mine. I agreed to be a bridesmaid, and honestly was not expecting a gift of any kind. I did not see it as rude or inconsiderate. I think it really comes down to what is common in your social circle, however I do plan to get all my bridesmaids something different, but that is what I want to do. Just try to relax, take the advice you got here, and try not to stress over things that really are no big deal. 
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    OliveOilsMomOliveOilsMom member
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    @KnotPorscha, I have tried to respond two different times in this thread and each time it tells me the body of my response is too large, even though it's not a long post, just a quote and a few sentences in response.
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    ViczaesarViczaesar member
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    Marshmallow22 said:
    LADIES. Getting "matchy-matchy" gifts is not the worst thing that will ever happen to you. Take a deep breath. This is a wedding opinion/advice/column website. Some people may have opinions that will differ from yours. Again, this is not the worst thing that will even happen to you.

    Attacking one's character and/or reading comprehension skills does not make you a better/stronger/smarter human being.  Let's all be adults.

    Breathe. You will get through this.
    In other words: "You're right, I didn't actually read what I copied.  But I'm going to bluster and try to deflect attention away from that fact rather than admit it."



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    ViczaesarViczaesar member
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    @OliveOilsMom, I had that happen earlier too.



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    msuprincess04msuprincess04 member
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    I think we can all agree that BM gifts need to be something they like, and not part of the wedding day uniform. If her girls will wear pearls or initial necklace sets, then great. Though, there should be no requirement that the necklaces will be worn to the wedding.

     

    The thing we want brides to avoid is getting items that aren't picked out specifically for each BM. You can call it shopping like their birthday or whatever else you want to call it. Just recently we were cleaning out our pantry and threw away two groomsman flasks and a J&G wedding day shot glass. We don't drink much, so they'd never been used, and had been gathering dust for years. It was really a waste of money for the couple who gave them to FI.

    "There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness." -Friedrich Nietzsche, "On Reading and Writing"
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    OliveOilsMomOliveOilsMom member
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    @viczaesar, I just love TK glitches!  You also said what I was trying to say about the word inconsiderate.  So thanks!
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    MobKazMobKaz member
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    msuprincess04 said:

    I think we can all agree that BM gifts need to be something they like, and not part of the wedding day uniform. If her girls will wear pearls or initial necklace sets, then great. Though, there should be no requirement that the necklaces will be worn to the wedding.

     

    The thing we want brides to avoid is getting items that aren't picked out specifically for each BM. You can call it shopping like their birthday or whatever else you want to call it. Just recently we were cleaning out our pantry and threw away two groomsman flasks and a J&G wedding day shot glass. We don't drink much, so they'd never been used, and had been gathering dust for years. It was really a waste of money for the couple who gave them to FI.

    I agree with everything you said, msuprincess.  However, the OP made two things clear.  This "gift-that-is-not-a-gift" was chosen because of how well it would compliment the BM's dresses.  She also said she was quite certain all 10 girls lack individuality and would therefore all equally love their "gift" 

    It is ironic, however, that in her original post, one of her concerns was cost.  "Do you thing I can get by with just buying these for my bridesmaid because I would really like to spend the majority of my money on making the wedding look as peachy and magical as possible!:)"  The OP makes it clear she doesn't want to spend too much, because of course, she wants to worry about herself.  And yet, she is willing to waste money on buying identical gifts for 10 different girls that may or may not never have any use for this jewelry again.
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    itzMSitzMS member
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    Marshmallow22 said:
    @AddieL73 - No, that's not what I'm saying. I'm saying the notion that youre an inconsiderate scumbag because you bought a wedding party "matching" gifts is irritating. IT'S A GIFT. Get over it. Move on. But you're honestly telling me, as a member of a dear friend's wedding party, you would rather receive "a Barnes & Noble giftcard" or "mug with a favorite movie on it" than say, a wedding related memento that you could keep and look back at and have fond memories of that day? That's what I don't understand.

    As for the rest of you, I don't respond to bullying.


    Oh God Bless America.

    I'm sure all of the non-existent warnings that we've received from @knotporscha indicate that any of us have been "bullying" you.

    False accusations should be against TOS.

    (if this is even a question...)  HELL YES I'd love to receive (and give) gifts that will actually be used versus a wedding related memento. Who wouldn't be thrilled to receive a gift that was fit to their personal tastes? Sure, I appreciated all of my matchy matchy gifts, too, but those never got used and instead got sent to Goodwill. That's the difference.

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    KDM323KDM323 member
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    edited August 2013
    Marshmallow22 said:
    @AddieL73 - No, that's not what I'm saying. I'm saying the notion that youre an inconsiderate scumbag because you bought a wedding party "matching" gifts is irritating. IT'S A GIFT. Get over it. Move on. But you're honestly telling me, as a member of a dear friend's wedding party, you would rather receive "a Barnes & Noble giftcard" or "mug with a favorite movie on it" than say, a wedding related memento that you could keep and look back at and have fond memories of that day? That's what I don't understand.

    As for the rest of you, I don't respond to bullying.


    Yes.

    In fact, I don't even take home with me the cheap shit like "monogrammed shot glasses" or koozies and all that other junk that people give out as "favors" at their weddings.

    If I got some cheap fake pearls or an initial necklace or something equally as lame from a very good friend that I was a bridesmaid for?  I'd smile, wear the trinket for the day and then it would end up being given to one of my friend's kids as "play jewelry" or it would sit in my jewelry box wasting space.

    I don't wear cheap jewelry, I don't wear initial necklaces (I'm not 12 anymore) and I surely don't wear fake pearls. 

    Those are not presents...they are 'props' for the day. 

    A present to me WOULD be a nice bottle of wine, a gift certificate, something that the ladies LIKE.

    I bought each of my BM a pashmina for on the day of the wedding.  Can they use it again?  Sure.  But that is NOT their "gift" from me.  It is just a little something extra because my wedding is in January and I got a great deal on the pashminas. 

    For presents, I've been picking up different gifts for each girl...not matching ones, they have NOTHING to do with the wedding.

    If money is truly not an object - then get the pearl necklaces.  But please...don't call that their "gift".  Spend 20 minutes thinking about each of our bridesmaids and buy them EACH a thoughtful gift THANKING THEM for being a part of your bridal party.  Don't mass-order cheap necklaces and slap them in a box and call it a "gift". 
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    AjulianaAjuliana member
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    Maggie0829 said:


    sdove13 said:

    I think you need to take a step off the bridezilla train and realize that not one of your guests will give a flying fuck what type of jewelry your BMs are wearing.  And honestly, the jewelry won't even show up in the pictures

    But go ahead, don't give a rats ass about your friends or that you know what the right thing to do is.  God forbid your wedding gets tacky because all your BMs don't look like clones.


    Seems to me that your guests probably dont want to show up to your wedding and that a Elephant's Pit in a Circus would probably be less Tacky then your Wedding. My BM are my closetest friends, they wont care what they recieve they will happy EITHER way. Like a TRUE FRIEND should  be. So sorry if you need to find better ones.

    Funny enough I did have an elephants pit at my wedding and it was fucking tackilicious!!  Just like I had wanted.

    Well if your friends will be happy no matter what you give them then why not just give them jewelry made from dried up dog shit so that they can be just as shitty as you.




    Damn you! Your jokes gave my knot reading away at work!
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    Previously Alaynajuliana


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    grumbledoregrumbledore member
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    Marshmallow22 said:
    LADIES. Getting "matchy-matchy" gifts is not the worst thing that will ever happen to you. Take a deep breath. This is a wedding opinion/advice/column website. Some people may have opinions that will differ from yours. Again, this is not the worst thing that will even happen to you.

    Attacking one's character and/or reading comprehension skills does not make you a better/stronger/smarter human being.  Let's all be adults.

    Breathe. You will get through this.
    It's very rude.  No one here thinks that this is the worst thing that will ever happen to them.  They just know that it is very rude and inconsiderate and selfish.  Get over yourself.

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    grumbledoregrumbledore member
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    Marshmallow22 said:
    @AddieL73 - No, that's not what I'm saying. I'm saying the notion that youre an inconsiderate scumbag because you bought a wedding party "matching" gifts is irritating. IT'S A GIFT. Get over it. Move on. But you're honestly telling me, as a member of a dear friend's wedding party, you would rather receive "a Barnes & Noble giftcard" or "mug with a favorite movie on it" than say, a wedding related memento that you could keep and look back at and have fond memories of that day? That's what I don't understand.

    As for the rest of you, I don't respond to bullying.


    LMFAO.  Yes, I would rather get a Barnes& Noble GC than a necklace I will never wear again.  I got a necklace I'll never wear again as a BM gift once.  Haven't worn it since the wedding.

    Also you need to look up the word bullying.  Telling someone they are wrong is not bullying.

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    AddieCakeAddieCake member
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    Yes, I absolutely would rather get that. I use mugs every day. I love to read and want to be a writer and am an English teacher. A Barnes and Noble gift card would be AWESOME for someone like me. A piece of jewelry that may not be my taste or style that I may never wear again? Nope. 


    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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    RebeccaB88RebeccaB88 member
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    Didn't peach colored clothing go out in the 80s?
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    astimmelastimmel member
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    RebeccaB88 said:
    Didn't peach colored clothing go out in the 80s?
      Peach with shoulder pads, maybe. But if a color is pretty, it's pretty.
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    simplykaylasimplykayla member
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    I know I'm going against the grain a little here, but I just wanted to offer a different POV. I think the jewelry/gift issue can really depend on your circle. With my family and friends, I've only ever known the BM's to get some kind of jewelry as their gift. Personally, I've been in 6 different weddings over the years (2 as flower girl, 1 as jr bridesmaid, and 2 as bridesmaid). At every single one of these weddings, my gift was some type of jewelry to be worn on the wedding day. It is a completely normal thing to do in my circle, and even expected. I was never disappointed with any of the gifts, nobody ever thought it was rude. Some of them I wore again, some of them I didn't. Because of this, I really don't see anything wrong with jewelry as a BM gift, but it really just depends on your circle and your BMs.
    On the other hand, after reading the posts in this thread I can definitely see where some kind of personalized gift is a nice gesture. I have already bought my BMs necklaces (that they helped pick out), but will now also be considering something special for each girl.
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    mimiphinmimiphin member
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    Wow, what a tread! I got to the end of page 2 then realized I had 2 more to go!
    I agree with simplykayla, but to an extent. A friend got this Tiffany's Necklace here and to me that was really tacky. I love Tiffany and Co just a much as the next girl but to me it was very generic, plain and was more about the brand then the receiver.
    If you want them to wear pearls, see if they already have a set and if they want to wear those ones. I personally would be fine receiving a set of pearls as a gift but I can agree with the other posters saying that if it is part of the costume then its not THE gift.
    Just my 2 cents.

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    CancerRisingCancerRising member
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    edited October 2013
    Bridesmaids clones, funnies thing I ever heard, LOL. Just give them all a budget to work with and send them to their favorite online jewelry store to buy whatever they want to wear for the wedding or otherwise. I presume your friends are all individuals with individual tastes and as such they should wear something to show off their individuality or even go nu if they want, jewelry wise of course.
    There is an old saying "Tell me who a persons friends are and I can tell you who they are" 
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    LeguLegu member
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    simplykayla said:

    I know I'm going against the grain a little here, but I just wanted to offer a different POV. I think the jewelry/gift issue can really depend on your circle. With my family and friends, I've only ever known the BM's to get some kind of jewelry as their gift. Personally, I've been in 6 different weddings over the years (2 as flower girl, 1 as jr bridesmaid, and 2 as bridesmaid). At every single one of these weddings, my gift was some type of jewelry to be worn on the wedding day. It is a completely normal thing to do in my circle, and even expected. I was never disappointed with any of the gifts, nobody ever thought it was rude. Some of them I wore again, some of them I didn't. Because of this, I really don't see anything wrong with jewelry as a BM gift, but it really just depends on your circle and your BMs.
    On the other hand, [B]after reading the posts in this thread I can definitely see where some kind of personalized gift is a nice gesture. I have already bought my BMs necklaces (that they helped pick out), but will now also be considering something special for each girl.[/B]

    Well.

    At least one person gets it.

    Personally I would not like to receive pearls.
    I would graciously wear them on the day, then never look at them again. Pearls are just not to my taste, at all.

    The response above is one of the best I've seen.
    "I was thinking of doing this because reasons, however, I have now re-evaluated this and am looking into something else".
    That's all it takes.
    Absolutely no need to go off in the deep end just because people are trying to help you not to look like an ungrateful so-and-so.
    So, maybe things don't always go as planned... Maybe that's okay. I may be alone for now, but my baby boy is on his way, and I wouldn't change a thing.
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