Poll about your former life

[Deleted User] · October 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_poll-former-life?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:28aab239-4c8c-41de-b4e0-bbcc0af8fa28Post:ef9c8181-a69a-4d5a-b613-cf6a950bd5f1">Re: Poll about your former life</a>:
[QUOTE]Yeah, he didn't understand why I broke up with him after that. But don't worry, ladies, he got his. The next day a group of my guy friends brought him into the bathroom and beat the snot out of him.
Posted by betrothed123[/QUOTE]

Don't you just love friends like that? In high school there was a guy that constantly harassed me. I mentioned it to a guy friend that everyone was afraid of (he was a known drug dealer and former juvie delinquent, and for whatever reason he was protective of me) and that was the end of that. I'll never forget the look on that guy's face when he was trying to hit on me, and my friend came up and put his arms around me like we were a couple, then asked if there was a problem. Sheer terror. It was awesome.

rhodesign · October 2010

These are killing me!
Oh man... I think every date I ever went on before J and after my HS boyfriend (who was a total sweetie) was bad!

#1. Went out with a dude from a speed-date event. He was a psychiatrist and I could tell he was studying me--he stared at me very intently and hung onto every word. He even told me on our first date " I feel that you're holding back and not really opening up to me" and I was in my head thinking 'well, yeah! you're freakin' analyzing me! He was also waaaaay too skinny and kinda looked like an anorexic Howie Mandel

#2 Went out with a dude from eHarmony. I did put on the profile that I wanted someone Christian, but I also tried to make it so that they weren't crazy-Christian, ya know? More laid back. ANYWAY I go to pick him up and I was with my best friend and her gf. The first thing he says when gets in the car is some disparaging remark about gay people (not realizing that they were, in fact, together). So we drop them off and we go to a street fair. We had a decent convo where I politely let him know that what he said wasn't cool and he apologized. The rest of the date went fine, and he told me about how he got 'saved' etc. Whatever. He emails me the next day telling me that we can't see eachother anymore because "it's obvious" that I wasn't a good enough Christian if I felt that being gay was okay. I ripped him a new one in my reply telling him that I was down with Jesus while he was too busy doing drugs and getting his gf knocked up twice resulting in an abortion and an adoption. Yep, I had to tell him about himself.

I have more, but I have to meet my trainer! I will be back--keep 'em coming!

missy68 · October 2010

I went out once with a guy after my divorce. He seemed fairly normal; even met me at the airport to surprise me when I came back from Christmas/New Years at my parents'. Well, one thing led to another, and anyway.... So we're talking about the potential of this relationship and I'm not really liking this discussion anyhow, and it turns out, he wants to be able to choose guys for me to have sex with while he watches. After my skin turned inside out when I realized he was serious, I showed him the door.
Um, no.
Buh bye.

SarahPLiz · October 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_poll-former-life?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:28aab239-4c8c-41de-b4e0-bbcc0af8fa28Post:0719136a-3738-4f69-ac86-9789bfe1372c">Re: Poll about your former life</a>:
[QUOTE]I went out once with a guy after my divorce. He seemed fairly normal; even met me at the airport to surprise me when I came back from Christmas/New Years at my parents'. Well, one thing led to another, and anyway.... So we're talking about the potential of this relationship and I'm not really liking this discussion anyhow, <strong>and it turns out, he wants to be able to choose guys for me to have sex with while he watches.</strong> After my skin turned inside out when I realized he was serious, I showed him the door. Um, no. Buh bye.
Posted by missy68[/QUOTE]

<div>EW!</div>

shaydenise · October 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_poll-former-life?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:28aab239-4c8c-41de-b4e0-bbcc0af8fa28Post:0719136a-3738-4f69-ac86-9789bfe1372c">Re: Poll about your former life</a>:
[QUOTE]I went out once with a guy after my divorce. He seemed fairly normal; even met me at the airport to surprise me when I came back from Christmas/New Years at my parents'. Well, one thing led to another, and anyway.... So we're talking about the potential of this relationship and I'm not really liking this discussion anyhow, and it turns out, he wants to be able to choose guys for me to have sex with while he watches. After my skin turned inside out when I realized he was serious, I showed him the door. Um, no. Buh bye.
Posted by missy68[/QUOTE]

Um last week's episode of Criminal Minds was about a guy who did the exact same thing.... Good thing you showed him the door lol.

Night_Sprite · October 2010

MISSY! AHH. I just got the heebie jeebies for you.

Wrkn925 · October 2010

I dated a major pothead in high school.
We were the longest running couple in our senior class and were up for Prom King/Queen. Along with voting for Prom court, we voted for characters. (Friends cast, Dukes of Hazzard cast, Williams sisters, etc.) People voted for classmates that they felt were resembled them in actions or personality.
My Exbf had recently got caught smoking pot with his best friend. They got voted Chech and Chong. We didn't get prom king/queen. He campaigned for this.
He actually got caught smoking pot twice, and had to sit down with my parents and explain, because they put the court minutes in the newspaper, and it's a small town.
We got pulled over once for speeding, and he'd been smoking pot. We were on out way to my kid sister's bday party. We got off, but he'd thrown his pipe out as we topped a hill so he wouldn't get caught with it. On the way back from the Bday party, he stopped where he threw it to look for it. I sat in a church parknig lot while my BF searched in the ditch for his pipe.... he found it.

We dated for 2 1/2years . I was a stupid teenager.
I finally realized pot was more important to him and broke up with him. He's still in his parents basement smoking pot.

K&J64 · October 2010

I don't really know if you could say I was dating this girl per say. More like hooking up with her when it was convenient. The whole thing was weird. I was 21 or 22 at the time, it was right before I met my FI.

Back story is this girl, N, was the ex girlfriend of the girl (C) my roommate (A) at the time was dating. Apparently N was still in love with C, and though that my hooking up with me for a summer she would make C jealous and C would dump A and get back together with her. It all started after a magnum of wine, the next morning I woke up hung over and alone in bed - whoops! Well it continued from there another hook up I had to get up to go to a funeral in the morning for friend's mom. I told N I had to go and to let herself out when she got up. SEVERAL hours later I come home and she was still in my apartment sitting at the kitchen table with A. She then decides we should go out for lunch, she makes me pay. Then she want to go canoeing. We get to this lake, I pay for canoe rental, go to the canoe and she sits on the BOTTOM of the canoe, not the seat. N realizes she's sitting in the wrong spot mid-lake and capsizes the canoe. As we're driving back in my car w/ cloth seats, soaking wet, she tells me all about her plan to break up C & A and get C back. Needless to say I keep sleeping with her after that out of convenience - don't judge me.

Now it gets weirder. I meet FI online through a gay dating site kinda like Match.com. We quickly realize we both know N. In fact she went out on one a date with N one night, and N then came to my apt and spent the night, the night before the funeral day mess. I ALMOST didn't agree to go out with FI b/c I though it would be weird. I ALMOST thought I should run it by N first. But I didn't and we went out and I liked her right away. N got wind of this and got really mad at me, N doesn't speak to me anymore lol.

I also almost didn't go out with FI b/c N painted her out to be a dumb blonde sorority type, which she is definitely not.

If only N knew that 7 years later we're still together and getting married hehehe

NatesGirl16 · October 2010

Good stories!

I went out on a blind date with a guy who took me to see The Breakup. During the movie, he started petting my hair absentmindedly. It was bizarre and I couldn't even watch the movie because I was so freaked out.

Another guy took me to see some Saw sequel, even though I told him I hated those movies. He took me to a theater near my school district, so I saw about forty kids I taught, which was awkward. But what sealed his fate was his total look of glee during the gory parts. I was pretty sure he either murdered someone already or was planning on doing it soon.

aprovencher21 · October 2010

I dated a real piece of trash when I was 13. Looking back at it I wonder WTH I was thinking....and WTH he was thinking. So I was 13 and he was 17. I fibbed and told my parents he was 15. They didn't love the idea but I was really mature for a 13 year old and so they allowed me to date him under restrictive circumstances. So yeah everytime we went out he wanted to have sex. I was 13! I ended up fooling around with him a lot, but never having sex. I finally ended it when he tried to push me into having sex in the woods behind a movie theater. I just felt too pressured and then I found out that he had another girlfriend pregnant with twins......yeah what a man.

I had another date take me to Barnes and Noble. Now I love books and bookstores. However, he basically told me he chose to go there because he didn't have to pay a dime since we could sit and talk for free. Ass.

A date I had in college informed me in the first hour of the date that he wanted a stay at home wife and he wouldn't tolerate a woman who worked. I left before dessert.

I dated another douchbag when I was 16 and he was 21 (yeah yeah I like older men). We got along great till I found out he owed some friends some money. He wanted me to give them head to pay off his debts......um no way in hell I'm not a hooker.

angkins · October 2010

Before FI, i was dating a guy for 3 years from HS. I thought we were never going to live without each other and that we would be married someday. I found out (after we got cell phones together on the same plan) that he had been cheating on me. I found phone records from him talking to this girl for hours, and texting every 5 minutes. (What a genius).. I immediately took his phone away, and called this girl. She claimed she had no idea he had a girlfriend (which was BS because she met me, they both worked together in the same place). I reemed her out, and the next day went to get my stuff from his house. He didn't know i was coming because i was not talking to him, but i had a great relationship with his parents. He would sneak the girl he was cheating on me with, into his room through the side window and keep his door locked so his parents didnt know she was there. They hated her. She would always park her car down the street so they wouldn't know. Needless to say, when i showed up to get my stuff, his parents welcomed me in and i went to go back to his room. I knocked on the door and he was so frantic to try to hide her. She jumped into his closet which was just covered by a shower curtain and i could see her feet. I ripped open the shower curtain, screamed at her and told her she was a c**t and that she was a low life piece of shiit. I punched him in the face, grabbed my stuff, and went out and told his parents she was there. His mom immediately kicked her out and she was never allowed back in the house. I talked to his mom after that, and she took the lock off of his door so he couldn't do that again. Karma is a biitch.

saschaduran · October 2010

I briefly dated an NFL quarterback who used to beg me to pee on him during sex. On his bedroom floor. I can only imagine how much pee was in his carpet.

And he used to call me and want to talk for hours to get advice over a couple girls that were claiming to be pregnant by him.

saschaduran · October 2010

No names! Haha

I just googled him and apparently he is not even signed with anyone anymore and it sounds like he was a pretty bad player. But he had a ridiculous body.

I couldn't bring myself to do it. I tried once but I just couldn't do it. It really grossed me out.

SarahPLiz · October 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_poll-former-life?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:28aab239-4c8c-41de-b4e0-bbcc0af8fa28Post:eb72eea5-9f6e-435e-a7af-9b751f7d9d97">Re: Poll about your former life</a>:
[QUOTE]No names! Haha I just googled him and apparently he is not even signed with anyone anymore and it sounds like he was a pretty bad player. But he had a ridiculous body. I couldn't bring myself to do it. I tried once but I just couldn't do it. It really grossed me out.
Posted by saschaduran[/QUOTE]

<div>One of my bootcamp trainers is ex-NFL, has been married 3 times, and had a short lived relationship with another one of the trainers. When you posted this, I immediately though "OH, maybe THAT's why J & A broke up!" HA. Now I can't that image out of my mind. FWIW, he has a ridiculous body too. </div>

marriedfilingjointly · October 2010

Um, I'm pissed that I'm just now hearing that story for the first time. Epic! That is seriously hilarious.

SarahSmile23 · October 2010

i don't share that story with many people. it was one of the most embarassing moments of my life lol.

SarahSmile23 · October 2010

to make it wose, we worked together at a cellular store. one day, he told people (including the store manager) that we'd had sex in the storage closet (which was not true.) i wrote a letter to the owner of the company demanding Jone/Johnny/Jon's resignation or i'd speak to an attorney about the sexual harassment. he was fired and i never saw him again.

rhodesign · October 2010

Oh, wow, SS! That is beyond nuts!

This dude asked me for my number after this booze cruise we were on, and I tried to give him a fake number. He called BEFORE we even left the boat and then found me to tell me that I entered the number in wrong. I blamed it on being drunk and fixed it, but I really, really didn't want him to call me and I felt bad just saying that. I finally agreed to a date (my philosophy at that time was that I'd give a guy one chance). I go pick him up and we head to a pizza place. It was obvious he was insecure about being older than me (I was 24, he was about 35) and was trying to ask me all these questions about sex, etc. I told him that I don't sleep with guys right away, and he accused me of being frigid--all before dinner! We ate in mostly silence and I took him back home. He didn't get out of the car right away and kept trying to hint at me going upstairs with him, etc. I just told him politely to get out of my car. He called me later that week and I just said 'oh hey I'm busy, can I call you back?' and then never did.

chocoholic4life · October 2010

I was thinking about getting back together with this guy after we had split about a month before. We had stayed good friends, and he asked me out on a date which I accepted. While I was getting ready for the date, (seriously, like an hour before he was going to pick me up) he called and said he had promised his parents that he would stay home and watch "Airplane" with them and told me we would have to reschedule for the following weekend. I politely told him that there was no need to reschedule.

reddy123 · October 2010

... these stories are great.

Blueyed228 · October 2010

Other than the no fun really bad horror stories of boyfriends past I do have a pretty funny one.

I went out with this really hot kid once. I drove and he was acting all weird. The date was pretty non-eventful until the ride home when he went into my glove box, took out a cd case, pulled out a bag of coke and ripped a huge line.

Yeah, no second date for that winner.

Wrkn925 · October 2010

Rhodesign: RE:fake numbers.

When I was a server and people used to ask me for my number, I would give them 867-5309. The majority of the time they fell for it.

And there's something called "The Rejection Hotline" it's a number that goes to a recording telling about how the person that gave you the number is trying to tget rid of you.

leia1979 · October 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_poll-former-life?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:28aab239-4c8c-41de-b4e0-bbcc0af8fa28Post:2ef6444c-55d1-4569-a386-1d8c0e8d4c61">Re: Poll about your former life</a>:
[QUOTE]Rhodesign: RE:fake numbers. When I was a server and people used to ask me for my number, I would give them 867-5309. The majority of the time they fell for it.
Posted by Wrkn925[/QUOTE]

I have a friend whose name is Jenny, and that's the number she gives out! =)

So, my first BF was a borderline pedophile. He was in his late 20s and was apparently incapable of dating a girl over 18. He was controlling, evil, and if I ever saw him again, I'd kick him in the nuts. I broke up with him when I started college. In college, I ended up meeting the girl he dated before me (she was one or two years older). On top of all this, he was a teacher. I fear for his students.

The next BF was a senior in college when I was a freshman. He was a nice guy but not that attractive. His parents were so excited he had a girlfriend, they went BSC and acted like we were going to get married. I was 19 and had been dating him for 3 months. I'm sure I looked like a deer in the headlights. That only made it to 5 or 6 months total.

StarfishNJellybean · October 2010

The last guy I went out with before FI was very strange and forced upon me by my friend. I went out with him exactly 5 times, and after every date I said to my friend, "I think this guy is really bizarre." But she kept saying, "no, he's awesome, he's just socially awkward."

So our fifth and last date, which was entirely unplanned, occured when he showed up at my house as I was about to leave for a wedding open house. I didn't invite him, nor did I remember telling him aboutt the party. Even weirder, he had espresso with him, to give my friends as a gift, to go with the espresso maker I'd bought them. Here's the kicker. I'd JUST bought the espresso maker like 2 hours before and I hadn't told him. I couldn't figure out what was going on.

So I took him to the party, mostly because I didn't know what else to do, and then - crazily enough - was introduced to FI. I never went out with the guy again, but I did find out like a week later that the dude had hacked my laptop and was tracking everything I did. So when I ordered that espresso maker for store pickup, he knew. He also kept changing my Facebook status to "In a Relationship." It wasn't until after that debacle that I knew you had to approve relationship status. So nice of him to do it for me!

But in the end, I got FI and he got his right hand. All is right with the world!

Anysunrise · October 2010

Starfish, that is crazy as hell.

saschaduran · October 2010

OMG Sarah...that is the best worst date story I have ever heard!!

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