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Beyond Stressed Bride?

Tina2011Tina2011 member
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in Destination Weddings Discussions
I am so stressed and confused in so many ways. I am stuck between having a wedding here in Atlanta or On the beach some place sunny and fun. If I have the wedding here I can have things exactly how I want them. I can choose the cater, decor, music and etc but with that comes stress and a very long process.I can have all my family and friends there without causing them the hassle of traveling.  With a DW I can let others handle that and have less choices to make. Although I won't get my choice of everything exactly how I want it will still be beautiful. I don't have a lot of family since my Grandma passed away, just my parents two brothers, sister,  3 nephews and two cousins. My guest list isn't that long to start and with the added stress of cost I may not have any. I am ok with eloping in fact it seems less stressful but I do not want my family upset with me. When I think of my wedding day I imagine my dad walking me down to meet the woman I will spend my life with. I imagine all night dancing, and tons of laughs. If I get married here I can get all of that but no honeymoon because we can not afford to do both. I started to think about a wedding in South Carolina or Savannah but I can't find and all inclusive resorts and that's what I really want. I have no idea what to do. I know it is about my FI and I but I love my family but finances are a big issue and I can't decide which is more important. Any advice? Anyone in my same boat?
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Re: Beyond Stressed Bride?

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    LolaPizzyLolaPizzy
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    Same boat here, Tina, except that my immediate family is big. At first, I was also excited about having the wedding exactly as I wanted it: music, decor, caterer, location. But, a dealbreaker for me was that we wouldn't have been able to have that wedding and a honeymoon, and we insist on having a honeymoon. I think it is important for FI and I to have dedicated time alone to celebrate our new marriage. I think it falls in line with my thinking that the marriage itself is more important than the wedding. I know others have sacrificed a honeymoon though for their wedding, so it will be good to hear their perspectives as well. I won't be able to have all the friends I would wish to have present at my DW, so that is a sacrifice I have to make.

    Where is your family located? Are they in ATL too? Have you thought about doing it somewhere closer, like in Florida, rather than out of the country? I made that decision myself, since it will be half the cost for guests to travel to FL than it would be to the Caribbean somewhere. You could also have a small DW or elope, then have a reception when you return for whoever couldn't make it.
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    natalie115natalie115 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    Well, nobody can answer the question of whether to have a DW or not but you and your FI. Would a pros and cons list help you? It might be worth a shot. What I can tell you is that I have never heard a DW bride say that they regretted having a DW. But, there will be sacrifices. I didn't get to have either of my brothers there. You might want to feel out your families and see what they think. If finances are and issue you might look at a cruise (don't know if those are cheaper or not). You may have to look for options other than an AI in the states. It all depends on where you're willing to compromise and what you're adamant about having. That's another list you can make. Write down your must haves and the things that are wants but not needs. Then you can start looking for places that fit. I won't lie and say it's going to be easy, it's not. DWs are stressful, but I think in the end the reward is bigger than an at home wedding. If all of your family can't make it there's always the option to celebrate w/ them at home. Or if you're going to do a legal ceremony in the states first, invite them to that then go out for dinner and dancing after. Then you can go do your symbolic cermony at a resort.

    GL!!


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    mn2italymn2italy member
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    I can relate Tina. It can be hard to choose between a wedding with everyone you know in attendance, or an intimate DW with a smaller guest list. FI and I had always talked about having a DW because we didn't like the idea of standing in front of a bunch of people so that decision was easy, but sometimes when I'm flipping through bridal magazines or reading wedding blogs I sort of wish we were having a beautiful wedding at home. In the end though, the DW is the right decision for me and my FI.

    If finances are an issue, keep looking around for a destination. There are some good deals out there. HTH.
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    WeddingsonthegoWeddingsonthego member
    First Comment
    Hi,

    Sorry to hear you are so stressed.  Believe me, we here your conversation allot in the destination wedding business over the past 12 years.  What you have to do is sit down and just take a stand, but I have to correct you first.  With a destination wedding, especially if you go with an all inclusive resort is not about giving up your choices.  There are many resorts out there now that give you the choices, but in a good way. 

    Let's say the cater, well the resort will do that for you.  And if the regular vacation guests do not like the food there, then don't go there.  Looking at the various review sites will tell you.  The same staff that cooks the regular food for resort guests is going to be cooking for you.  If you see bad reviews then stay away from them.  With the small amount of people that you have, pick a wedding package that includes the wedding dinner as a part of the all inclusive resort package.

    Next the floral, well, if the florist does a bad job, they are not going to keep their job at the resort.  Many of the resorts hire local florist or floral company that want to keep that job, so they are going to do their best.  So you can see where I am going here.

    Unfortunately there is no full time all inclusive resort within the 50 U.S. States like there is in the Caribbean or Mexico.  To keep the costs down on both the travel and wedding plans I would look into the Dominican Republic and Jamaica, stay away from Mexico.  The legal fees there could out weigh the savings you might get.

    The main thing you need to do is talk with your family honestly.  Let them know that you really want to do a destination wedding with them there, see what the reaction that you get.  If they do not like it, have the wedding back home and save up for your first anniversay trip on the beach, just the two of you, repeating the vows - your style.

    I hope this helps!

    Weddings on the go!
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