Your parents still married?

mekiakoo · March 2012

Are your parents still married? Do divorces run high in your family?

My parents have been married for almost 29 years. My mom was married once before at 19 years old but divorced after 5 years.

My grandparents were married for 63 years before my grandfather died. Another set of grandparents were married for 50 years before my grandmother died from a stroke.

Only a couple of divorces in my family.

mekiakoo · March 2012

Darn TK! It ate my OP!

Are your parents still married? Do divorces run high in your family?

My parents have been married for almost 29 years. My mom was married once when she was 19, but divorced after 5 years.

My grandparents were married for 63 years before grandfather died. My other set of grandparents were married for 50 years before grandmother died from a stroke.

Only a couple of divorces in my family.

hmacsine · March 2012

I love you e-pic! My parents situation is confusing. My mom and dad were married, but my dad "married" someone else while with my mom. When my dad started getting sick my mom took care of him until he was too sick to stay at home. They were separated but not divorced.

colleenm18 · March 2012

My parents have been divorced for as long as I can remember ( i think for just over 20 years now) I really dont even remember them being married, however they are still very close and always have been. My dad just got remarried this past sunday. Neither set of my grandparents were divorced both have been married for 40+ years.

ginadog · March 2012

When I got married the first time 10 years ago, I took the fact that my parents were still married and my ex's parents were still married, so we had a great chance! Statistically we'd be OK!

However, I failed to realize or even see that both my parents' and his parents' marriages were riddled with verbal and emotional abuse by the husbands. It wasn't until I realized that my ex was emotionally abusing me, that it all made sense of how we both got where we were (me settling for crap and not knowin it, him acting just like his father).

Simply still being married does not mean that much in my book.

Sadly, my mom admited that she should have left my dad when I was just 4 months old but she didn't.

penny12986 · March 2012

My parents have been married for 34 years and FI's parents have been married for 37 years. No one in either of our families has been divorced.

cmhutchison22 · March 2012

My parents will be celebrating their 31st anniversary in May. Fi's parents will be celebrating their 45th, I think, in October.

meagid · March 2012

My parents have been married for almost 30 years. FI's parent's have been married almost 28 years. Everyone is in a happy, healthy relationship.

BrightFirefly · March 2012

Are your parents still married? Do divorces run high in your family?

My parents have been married like...18ish years - they got married when I was six or seven.

My mom was married to someone before my dad - and they divorced.

I honestly can't think of anyone that is divorced in my family..other than my cousin. But I have a small family.

colleenm18 · March 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_july-2012-weddings_your-parents-still-married?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:066005ef-215f-48b1-8655-328b41e07c52Discussion:f0ce64ab-aab5-47fa-9f3e-6042ffb9720bPost:877be003-3c88-4483-9cb2-59f7e617e39d">Re: Your parents still married?</a>:
[QUOTE]When I got married the first time 10 years ago, I took the fact that my parents were still married and my ex's parents were still married, so we had a great chance! Statistically we'd be OK! However, I failed to realize or even see that both my parents' and his parents' marriages were riddled with verbal and emotional abuse by the husbands. It wasn't until I realized that my ex was emotionally abusing me, that it all made sense of how we both got where we were (me settling for crap and not knowin it, him acting just like his father)<strong>. Simply still being married does not mean that much in my book</strong>. Sadly, my mom admited that she should have left my dad when I was just 4 months old but she didn't.
Posted by ginadog[/QUOTE]

I 100% agree with this. I know plenty of people who have been married for 20 + years who should not still be married. just because you stay married does not make that a good marriage.

Lisariqua · March 2012

My parents have been married 40 yrs this March and my FI parent's will be married 42 yrs this June.

mandctaft · March 2012

My parents found out about me and they got married and my dad was seeing my step-mom the whole time. I was born in January and my mom left with me a couple months later and we went to my grandparents' house. They were divorced the following April. She met my stepdad when I was 3 and they've been married My step-dad's parents are the only ones that were married and stayed married.

owengirl996 · March 2012

My parents have been married for...almost 33 years...and they are honestly happily married! NEVER ever fought while I was growing up, still don't fight today. I have never heard them raise their voices at one another (but they didn't hesitate to raise them at my sister and I LOL)

FI's parents have been married for a long time too...ummm not sure what year they were married, but FI was conceived very shortly after, so my guess is about 29 years. FI has said they used to have some fights, but only because his mom would randomly freak out that he was cheating on her. She was insecure because her dad cheated on her mom (but didn't divorce), and her BIL has cheated on her sister (also not resulted in divorce). Otherwise, they seem quite happy most of the time.

None of my grandparents/great grandparents were ever divorced, either. I like to think it gives us a better chance than the majority, but I know each relationship is different.

singing_lyn · March 2012

Are your parents still married? Yes, they started going "steady" Valentines Day 40 years ago exactly and September 8th they'll be married 40 years. A very whirlwind romance, but it's lasted.

Do divorces run high in your family? Not really. 1 of my sisters got divorced after a 10 year marriage and a cousin after about the same. But other than that none that I can think of. So a lot of strong relationships and marriages.

BeachLover2885 · March 2012

Agree with PP about not all marriages being happy ones and a lot of people stay married even though they are unhappy or for financial reasons etc.

Anyway, my parents have been married for almost 30 years. I think overall they have a good marriage, but there were years where it definitely seemed strained. I feel once all of us kids were out of the house, they seemed to connect a lot more. Both of my mom's brothers are divorced and all of my dad's siblings are still married which I find kind of interesting. FI's parents got divorced when he was 2, so I know he was pretty scared about marriage and his biggest fear is getting divorced. It's a really sensitive topic for him. However, his dad has been married to his stepmom for over 20 years, and I always point out that even though his parents' marriage didn't work out, he was the product of their relationship and that's a very good thing.

Rebis58 · March 2012

My parents are still happily married. I barely remember them arguing at all, besides little squabbles most couples have. They still enjoy each other's company, kiss, hold hands, laugh at each other's jokes. I think they have modelled a wonderful marriage and relationship for me and my siblings.

FI's parents, on the other hand, split when he was 5 or 6. They have stayed very close friends since then (FFIL actually sleeps over at FMIL and FSFIL's house when he's in town, and has even stayed at FI's step dad's parent's house on visits before). FI says he never remembers fights after the divorce and was never, ever put in the middle. I think they have modelled what any divorced couple should do when there are children involved (excluding, of course, history of abuse, etc.)

I agree with PPs that length of marriage alone does not matter, it is more important seeing models for healthy relationships and being able to get through the difficult times together (whether it is in a marriage, like my parents, or after a split, like FI's).

The rest of my family has very few splits. My dad's half brother (suffers from alcoholism, was at least verbally abusive to my aunt) split from his wife, but she stuck around for way too many years before leaving. She is still my Aunty, in my eyes, while I have not seen my uncle in at least a decade. My Grandpa (mom's dad) has been in an unhappy marriage for years. They hate each other and are awful to each other. Love my grandpa, hate the loveless marriage he has kept himself in.

Nati05 · March 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_july-2012-weddings_your-parents-still-married?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:066005ef-215f-48b1-8655-328b41e07c52Discussion:f0ce64ab-aab5-47fa-9f3e-6042ffb9720bPost:73c36b72-4562-4c84-8cba-ecbe9b22f312">Re: Your parents still married?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Your parents still married? : I 100% agree with this. I know plenty of people who have been married for 20 + years who should not still be married. just because you stay married does not make that a good marriage.
Posted by colleenm18[/QUOTE]

This is very true.

FI and I are hoping to be the first marriage that lasts in the family!!!!! My parents are divorced, my mom remarried and divorced again while my father remarried, divorced and remarried again. Looks like this one might last though. And apparently I found out several years ago that before I was born, my parents got married, divorced each other for a year or two and got married again... that was a weird bit of info to find out after so many years.

FI's parents are also divorced, his mother remarried although sadly they're looking at seperation right now. Hid dad has been remarried and divorced several times.. not sure what the count is but he's married now and though his children say she's not right for him in the least, FFIL seems to be happy. I know one of his grandparents got divorced but I'm not sure of his other grandparents. My dad's parents are together but are very unhappy :( and my mom's father was the most unfaithful person ever. He was with my grandmother until she died but I don't think that really says much.

Seriously, we're determined to make this marriage work no matter what! The last thing we want is to follow in our families' footsteps...

bridetobe71412 · March 2012

I posted so that I could say CUTE PICTURE MEKIAKOO!

As for the question, my parents were married for like 25 years when my dad passed away.

mekiakoo · March 2012

Agreed, my grandmother wanted to leave my grandfather, but she went to a priest (she was a catholic) and the priest told her that she couldn't leave her husband. He basically told her to go back to her husband and not to speak of it ever again. That was during a tough time though, just after my grandfather came home from Japan after WWII and started to drink a lot. So they were married for 50 years, but obviously they weren't happy for at least part of their marriage.

littlemoments324 · March 2012

Nope..my parents aren't married..they divorced when I was like 4th grade?? So a long time ago...my grandma divorced twice before she married my grandpa..haha...my uncle married twice...umm other than that, there aren't any other divorces...

MeaganR12 · March 2012

My parents divorced when I was really young and they both remarried. My dad and step mom are separated; and my mom and step dad have been married for 15 years but they're getting divorced this year. FI's parents are still married but they're very unconventional, my FFIL treats my FMIL like crap but she would never leave him.

Almost everyone is divorced on my mom's side of the family but I feel like that has actually set me up for NOT divorcing because I've seen first hand how hard divorce is and therefore am not settling.

shelby8020 · March 2012

yes they have been married for 46 years:) my dad just retired so its so nice to see them spending more time together!

BeabullMom · March 2012

My parents are divorced. They divorced when I was 12 or so years old. It was a bad divorce, they don't speak. My brother didn't talk to my father for years (but he just recently started to). My father said he will never remarry because he thinks you should only have one shot at marriage. My mother remarried my step-father. Their relationship is rocky at best.

My mom's mother divorced her father when she found out he was cheating. She remarried my grandfather (well, he was who I always considered to be my granfather). They had a great relationship and were married for many years.

My dad's parents were married for 30 or so years before my grandmother died of breast cancer. Then my grandfather remarried and his second wife died in a car accident. Then he remarried again!

ceglare4 · March 2012

My parents have been divorced since I was in 6th grade. They were together almost 15 years by then. They're both happily remarried now. My grandparents on my mom's side just celebrated their 50th! My grandpa on my dad's side died before I was born.

FI's side of the family is insane. His dad is on his third marriage (and there's some significant drama because of this), but his mom has only ever been married to FI's dad. I've told FI numerous times that he better not follow in his dad's footsteps! Jokingly of course, I'm not seriously worried about it haha.

dramaqueen91087 · March 2012

My parent have been married for 30 years! It hasn't always been perfect but I think thats good because its taught me how to deal with things. Both sets of grandparents were also maried for a long time. My grandfather remarried after my grandmother died, to my great aunt (his dead wifes sister-in-law). Which made for some interesting family dynamics.

My FI's parents were married for a while, then his dad died. His mom remarried and has been with his step-father for 13 years. However their relationship is not great. She has considered leaving many times. And pretty much everyone, inluding her husbands brother, thinks she should.

The only divorce in my family is my Aunt. SHe married young, and had a child. Then divorced her husband, all before I was born. He was not a great person. She has since remarried and been with my uncle for around 20 years.

FI's siblings are fun though, most of them are not married, yet all of them (except for FI and the 13 year old) have children and have been in and out of bad relationships for years.

amygodfrey10 · March 2012

My parent's will be celebrating their 30th in April and are happily married. My aunt has been divorced several times and my cousins have each been divorced once. Apparently my gradparents split up once?? I had no idea, my dad likes to share family secrets with FI it turns out...... But they didn't get divored and are still married, it's been over 50 years. My other grandparents have been married for 51 years. They are the cutest couple! Still so in love with each other, it's so adorable.

FI's parent's are going on 31 years but their's has been a rocky marriage. Especially when FI and his brother were still living at home, i feel bad that they had to witness that. But I'm glad FI realized at an early age that what happened between his parents isn't how a loving relationship should be. His dad is better now, I guess trying to make up for how he was in the past. Still an alcoholic though.

LADY324 · March 2012

My parents got married when they were very young 18 and were divorced by 23. They had my brother then me 1 1/2 years later I think they divorced when I was only 6 months old so I never knew what it was like to have my parents together. My father remarried when I was about 5 and my mom remarried when I was 21 but she had been with my stepdad since I was 7. My stepdad was very afraid of kids so I think he waited until we got older and were more independent. I love him to death and to me he is my real father. My grandfather cheated on my grandmother with his secretary after they were married for about 18 years then he married his secretary. He died about 7 years ago. My other grandfather and grandmother also got divorced. So I had a lot of divorces in my life. It's kind of sad! FI's parents have been married for about 38 years. However they are not affectionate at all and sleep in separate bedrooms and have for years b/c apparently FMIL snores so loud that FFIL could not sleep.

AllyG303 · March 2012

My parents are still married and are celebrating their 30th anniversary this year! Both sets of grandparents were also still married.

FI's parents are in the process of divorce. I find it hard to believe that after over 30 years of marriage, they decided now to divorce.

Carla1019 · March 2012

Good question.

It is funny when I hear people say marriages aren't as strong as they were for our grand parents, not in my family. My grandmother was married 5 times but my mom and dad have been married for 46 years.

My FI parents are still together as well, even though they had him before they were married.

FFIL had "the talk" with me that divorce is not an option in his family and if my FH starts acting up, he'll straighten him out. LOL!

RyansBelovedBride · March 2012

My parents have been married for 31 years and are happy and in love. My grandparents have been married for... 52 years I think and are happy and in love. The other set and grandparents weren't married nearly as long.. because my grandfather died when my dad was 18 months old.

In all my aunts and uncles there's only been two divorces, and one of them is happily remarried and the other in a happy long term relationship.

Divorce is very rare in my family.

In FI's family, his parents have been married 28 years, but they've struggled a lot. But they're still married. Divorce is fairly common, though not "rampant" in his extended family.

k8888 · March 2012

I guess I'm kind of the oddball out hahaha.

My parents divorced when I was 21 (7 years ago), just short of their 30th anniversary.

My grandparents: On my mom's side, my grandparents were together until my pop-pop's passing, around the same time of my parent's divorce. On my father's side, my grandfather passed away when my dad was still a teenager, and my grandmother suffers from maniac depression, so my dad's upbringing was extremely rough.... Which probably explains my father's own wacky behavior (He has had no contact with me since 2005).

FI's parents are still happily married.

FI's grandparents: On his mother's side they were happily married until his grandfather's passing about 2 years ago. On his father's side, they separated in their late 60's and just lived apart, single, for the rest of their lives. Really strange, but always a good story to hear when FFIL talks about them. (FFIL's mother bought a monkey when she moved out... yeah... weird!)

All parties involved married before they turned 20 or at least early 20s.

Only a sprinkling of divorces with the rest of our extended families... both sides are Catholic so they take "till death do us part" literally, regardless of how happy anyone is hahaha

Your parents still married?

Re: Your parents still married?

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