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Ok.

icequeen09icequeen09 member
First Comment
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
Ok. So I've given up on the surprise wedding. I really really still want to do it, but I want my friends there. And he does seem to have some interest in wedding planning. We were watching Bridezillas on Tivo and he said something about how he'd like to do that at our wedding. Some kind of favor, I can't remember. Anyway, after giving it lots of thought, I'd like some more opinions.Propose to him? Or wait patiently and wait for him to propose to me?How do you feel about girls proposing to guys? Do I get him a ring? I've been looking at them, but I'm just not sure.
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Re: Ok.

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    salt78salt78 member
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    Great...it sounds like he's thinking about it. Don't rush him.
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    mandysmearmandysmear member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    You should propose with a fake ring.  But an ice cube instead of a diamond.  Then tell him all your winter wedding plans like the snocone machine favors.

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    Hello SunshineHello Sunshine
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    Have you actually talked "marriage" with him, or just "wedding"? There is a difference, a big one. Most men, if they are ready, are willing AND able to propose to their girlfriends.
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    melissainabqmelissainabq
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    I've missed the backstory, but were you planning a surprise wedding that he didn't know about? Or just your friends didn't know about?
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    danieliza1127danieliza1127 member
    5 Love Its First Comment Combo Breaker
    When he's ready to get married, he will propose.  You need to be patient.
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    salt78salt78 member
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    Oh it was a big surprise for the GROOM. Isn't that a FUN IDEA?!
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    NuggetBrainNuggetBrain member
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    Planning a surprise wedding that the groom doesn't know about has got to be the most kickass idea I've ever heard.  Didn't they do that to Gene Simmons on Family Jewels?  Classic.
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    wadingmoosewadingmoose member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    I hate watching wedding shows with my FI and I'm engaged to the man.  I couldn't have imagined watching them before we were engaged.I'd hold off on proposing to him and you might want to avoid wedding shows for awhile.  That's a lot of pressure for the guy.

    "You can take your etiquette and shove it!" ~misscarolb
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    adgenyaadgenya member
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    I'm glad you gave up on that idea. Be patient, he'll propose when he's ready.
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    TiDa2009TiDa2009
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    There's no written rule saying it's the man who has to propose.  If you think that you're both ready to take that step, go ahead and propose.
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    punkyb2bpunkyb2b
    First Comment
    Why not a ring IN an ice cube?  perfect!While I dont see anything wrong with a girl proposing to a guy, I think you have to be on the same page about getting married.  Maybe ask some questions first to see what his timeline for being married is.
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    ac_in_dcac_in_dc member
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    I know some folks who proposed to their guys, but they were super liberal gender-neutral kind of folks. My traditional FI would not have been pleased if I had done this. I'm really sorry I missed your post on Friday. A surprise wedding on an ice rink sounds lovely.
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    sucrets4sucrets4 member
    First Anniversary Name Dropper 5 Love Its First Comment
    Wow, you're for real?  I thought you only made an appearance for Troll Friday.  Dang.
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    icequeen09icequeen09 member
    First Comment
    Well, I didn't know he was really watching, he was doing expense reports on his laptop on the desk next to our TV in the living room. So I took the rare opportunity to watch what I want for once. He's such a remote hog! So, it's not ok for a girl to propose to the guy? I mean, I'm not trying to rush him, but when he says he's ready to marry me and he makes a randon comment about a wedding, it kinda gets me excited, ya know?
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    CubsGirl05CubsGirl05
    First Comment
    You should buy the most expensive ring in the store, and give it to him to propose to you with, if he doesn't do it in a timely manner, withold sex. If he still doesn't do, just wear the ring around and tell everyone you're engaged. He'll eventually come around. This is what I did and it worked!
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    redheadfsuredheadfsu member
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    Just in case you are real-You can propose, but make sure you have had several & I mean several very "grown up" talks about marriage & your life together. Not oh he says he loves me, hehe. But what the heck is the rush anyway?

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    icequeen09icequeen09 member
    First Comment
    No, I'm not buying myself a ring. That's just silly.
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    tidetraveltidetravel member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    Perhaps instead of proposing, the two of you should TALK about marriage.  My DH didn't propose to me, per se.  We were talking about marriage, and I was like, "I would marry you in a heartbeat."  He said, "let's get maried then."  And viola!  Married.If you are BOTH ready for marriage, talk about what you want/need from each other.  If the two of you decide TOGETHER to get married, then go ring shopping together, and find out if he wants to do a traditional proposal or not. 
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    TiDa2009TiDa2009
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    So, it's not ok for a girl to propose to the guy?I think it's perfectly ok.  I'm not sure about a ring.  My FI wouldn't have worn an engagement ring.  But you don't need a ring to be engaged.The only thing that's not ok is asking somebody to marry you before they are ready.  But this goes for guys asking girls, too.
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    ricksangricksang member
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    Most men like to do the proposing. You would be taking that away from him if you proposed.
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    BeadlzBeadlz
    First Comment
    So I've given up on the surprise weddingBut why? it was such an amazing idea!!Seriously though, you should just hold off for now.  It will happen when its right, any other time will just feel wrong and you will likely regret it.  Just for the record I have no issues with girls proposing, but it usually only works if the guy likes that kind of thing, otherwise he might feel as if your taking his thunder.
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    nda_roxybabenda_roxybabe member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary First Comment Combo Breaker
    Oh, haha yes, so silly. But planning a surprise wedding on Christmas? thats serious

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    icequeen09icequeen09 member
    First Comment
    All good thoughts. But why is he dragging his feet? We already own a house together. His mom thought the wedding was a great idea, since she knows he wants to marry me. And we've been together a while! And I just think it would be a really cool story, mix things up a bit!! I have googled engagement rings for guys, there just doesn't seem to be much out there. Thank you TiDa, for your help.
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    melissainabqmelissainabq
    First Comment
    I mean, I'm not trying to rush him, but when he says he's ready to marry me and he makes a randon comment about a wedding, it kinda gets me excited, ya know?Um - planning a wedding without telling him is rushing him.
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    betrothed123betrothed123
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    Talk to him before you do anything.  Find out where he stands, where he sees your relationship heading, if he would like to marry you sometime in the fairly near future, etc.Honestly you know him better than we do, so you have a much better idea of how he would react to you proposing, and how he would take not being able to propose to you.  If you're sure it won't bother him to miss out on that, go ahead, but not until after you've had a few discussions about marriage (not wedding) first.
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    icequeen09icequeen09 member
    First Comment
    I like something like this for a man's engagement ring: http://www.tirings.com/interactive-titanium-stackable-rings-78/the-elemental-288928.htmlThen he could just add his wedding band to it!
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    tidetraveltidetravel member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    But why is he dragging his feet? We already own a house togetherOooh.  I get to say this a 2nd time today:There is this saying about a cow and free milk that comes to mind.
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    redheadfsuredheadfsu member
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    TALK to him. Real honest true communication. Talk about life goals, marriage, kids, a time line, etc. If you bought a house together (hope that means ur name is on the deed) you should be able to talk about life goals.

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    salt78salt78 member
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    No offense to anyone on here, but I think male engagement rings are redonkulous.
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    icequeen09icequeen09 member
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    Ok, Tide, then I think I should propose to him, if you think that's the case. I don't know why everyone assumes we haven't talked about marriage. Just because I thought a surprise wedding on an ice rink would be fun doesn't mean I'm crazy, nor does it mean we haven't talked about marriage. I have just talked to my friends that are married and some of them say men aren't interested at all in weddings, so I wanted to take it off his hands.
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