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Ok.

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Re: Ok.

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    melissainabqmelissainabq
    First Comment
    men aren't interested at all in weddings, so I wanted to take it off his handOnce again, but this time in visual form - [img] <a href="http://www.wellspring-hypnosis.com/newsletter/nl_images/horse-cart.jpg" rel='nofollow'>http://www.wellspring-hypnosis.com/newsletter/nl_images/horse-cart.jpg</a> [/img]
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    salt78salt78 member
    First Comment
    [i]I have just talked to my friends that are married and some of them say men aren't interested at all in weddings, so I wanted to take it off his hands.[/i] Yeah I think they mean the actually WEDDING part. Not the proposal. I know FI would have been pissed if I had proposed to him.
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    beersnobbeersnob member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    No, I'm not buying myself a ring. That's just silly.Cause that is the only silly part of the story?
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    icequeen09icequeen09 member
    First Comment
    Melissa, I understand what you are saying. And I've already explained I'm not doing the surprise wedding. Well, salt, I guess that's something we should discuss. He's not just super traditional, like I can't ever imagine him asking my dad to marry me or something like that. So I guess I feel like I know him well enough that he won't get that offended.
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    redheadfsuredheadfsu member
    First Comment
    honey, a surprise wedding is impossible, as you need a marriage license (which usually have a day or two waiting period) That's why it is freaking nuts & comes off as if you are dragging him into a cave against his will or something.

    Planning Bio
    Married 9/15/11

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    icequeen09icequeen09 member
    First Comment
    Ok, ed, as I've said, it's not going to happen. Moving on!
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    icequeen09icequeen09 member
    First Comment
    Oops! Cut off the readhead for some reason! sorry about that! That should've been redheaded!
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    Hello SunshineHello Sunshine
    First Comment
    Men don't "drag their feet" on proposals because they aren't interested in planning a wedding. They drag their feet because they aren't ready to get married. Again, big difference between planning for a wedding and preparing for a marriage. Salt - I'm with you.
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    redheadfsuredheadfsu member
    First Comment
    yeah but instead of talking to him ... he said a random thing about a wedding on TV & now you want to propose.

    Planning Bio
    Married 9/15/11

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    scoettoscoetto member
    Name Dropper First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    Wooow. Just. Woooow. And I was really hoping for a zamboni ceremony. Crap :(FWIW, J has an "engagement" ring of sorts. We bought it on the day he proposed to me but he wears it on his right hand. He will have a wedding band on his left in Oct.
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    icequeen09icequeen09 member
    First Comment
    Well, once again you ladies have given me a lot to think about. Scoetto, I think that that's pretty cool. I'm taking my boyfriend to lunch, we will discuss the whole proposing thing then. Thanks for everyone's advice.
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    ac_in_dcac_in_dc member
    First Comment
    Honey, I think you're confusing weddings and marriage. The biggest issue here is not who proposes to who--it's whether you guys want to build a life together, and commit to that in a legally and spiritually binding way. Once you figure that out, you can plan any kind of dumb a$$ surprise you want.
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    scoettoscoetto member
    Name Dropper First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    On the subject of male "engagement" rings, he won't wear both on one hand. Just one on his right, and one on his left.
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    redheadfsuredheadfsu member
    First Comment
    scotte:we did the same thing. I bought a silver ring in Ireland (where he proposed) & he wears it on his right hand. I didn't want to be the only "marked" one.

    Planning Bio
    Married 9/15/11

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    *This is Not Legal Advice*
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    NuggetBrainNuggetBrain member
    First Comment
    It took my FI almost 7 years to buy the ring, and almost 8 years to propose. But if I had done it first, he would have been wierded out.  And he wouldn't have been ready yet.  I'm glad I didn't rush him, because he would not have been nearly as excited about getting married as he is right now.
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    If I wanted to hear the pitter-patter of little feet, I'd put shoes on the cat. image

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    salt78salt78 member
    First Comment
    [i]On the subject of male "engagement" rings, he won't wear both on one hand. Just one on his right, and one on his left. [/i] Yeah this is what I mean. It sounds like the OP thinks her guy will wear his engagement ring and wedding band on the same finger when they get married.
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    betrothed123betrothed123
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    H and I discussed eventually getting married for years before he finally proposed.  I can tell you right now if he had asked any sooner the answer would have been no.  Just because I knew I wanted to marry him didn't mean I was ready to marry him.  Thankfully he waited until we were both ready to take that step.
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    And betrothed, I'm disgusted with most of the comments that you have posted. I don't think I've ever read such judgmental comments in my life. I'm so lucky that the girls I speak to on theknot are nothing like you...I would've never come on here for ADVICE if I would've encountered a big a bitch as you. I genuinely feel awful for your children or your future children, and I think it would be irresponsible of YOU not to invest in their future therapy sessions starting now. Because trust me when I tell you honey, they're gonna need it. ~jcaruncho2010
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    Mermaid1082Mermaid1082
    First Comment
    Wow, FI would have been so hurt if I had proposed first.  He was so excited about it.From my experience, guys are able to see weddings and marriage as seperate things easier than most engagement-crazed NEYs.   You're all about the wedding, but have you even said once that you want to be married to to the?  And guys do get into the wedding and planning ... when they are ready to be married.
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    colleen1414colleen1414
    First Comment
    im kinda worried for you. what if he says "no" and then everything is awkward after? something like that could delay you getting a proposal for even LONGER. and you would be really hurt from it. just dont want that to happen to you ya know?
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    jennylynnhankinsjennylynnhankins
    First Comment
    IceQueen: How do you know he isn't saving for the ring/ planning on proposing? Eventhough no one says a girl "shouldn't" propose, I think it's pretty de-masculating for the guy for the girl to propose. Your guy might not mind, but I'm sure most women on this board would agree it's worth the wait, and most men take pride in buying the ring and proposing.
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    saschaduransaschaduran
    First Comment
    I hate to sound sexist but I think the man should propose. If I had proposed or given him an ultimatum to propose I always would have had doubts if that is what he really wanted. It was important to me to feel as if it was his decision to ask me, not his obligation. But I have pride issues about stuff like that.
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