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Melancholy moment

jlk67jlk67 member
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in Second Weddings
My youngest daughter left about an hour and half ago.  She's moving to California to work and attend grad school.  When I moved to be with DH, my oldest daughter didn't come with me.  This is the first time I've not had at least one of my girls living with me.  They aren't coming back this time.  My girls will never live with me again, well, unless something bad happens and they have to.I know it's the natural progression.  If we've done our jobs as moms, they leave and stand on their own feet.  It just breaks my heart to not have them with me.  I'm still adjusting to living in a new town and new home and having her here made it easier.Does anybody have a good remedy to get through empty nest syndrome?
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Re: Melancholy moment

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    trueloveatlasttrueloveatlast member
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    edited December 2011
    I found that volunteering at our local animal shelter helped.  Ours needed dog walkers and cat socializers - I love cats so I went the socializing route.  I met some new people and gots lots of hugs and purrs (and some scratches!)Try to look at this as an opportunity to start a whole new life, rather than focusing on your sense of loss.  Be proud that you raised two independent, self-sufficient daughters!Would either of them like to meet a nice sailor?
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    brian&shellibrian&shelli
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    edited December 2011
    Where in California did your daugther move to?  And what school is she attending?  
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    jlk67jlk67 member
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    edited December 2011
    My 23 year old would probably love to meet a nice young sailor.  My 21 year old will be going to grad school at USC, but living in Pomona.  I tell you, I love working from home until times like this.  Being in an empty house all day can get really lonely.  My remedy when I first started working like this was to join the gym.  I was out of the house and socializing at least four days a week.  Now I've moved to a new town and the gyms aren't the same.  I've got some adjusting to do. It's definitely better to have raised two self-sufficient young women than to have them 30 years old and still sitting on my couch doing nothing. 
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    brian&shellibrian&shelli
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    edited December 2011
    I work from home to so I feel ya on the "lonely" issue during the day.  I use the gym as my outlet as well, but I tend to not be too disiplined enough to do it every day.  But I'm starting out new beginning today so let's see how long this motivation will last!  :)
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    pamila51510pamila51510
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    "Hugs" It worries me my girls leaving home. Reading your post brought tears to my eyes.  My girls are only 16, 16, and 11 but the first 16 years went by so fast.  I know that they will be becoming independent very soon. I have no advice but I like the idea of going and doing something out of the house to keep yourself busy. 
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    futurestepmamafuturestepmama member
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    edited December 2011
    10 days after I moved out of my parents house they bought a dog.  I still tease them about it, since my whole life I was told "we're just not dog people" in response to my constant begging, but I understand they had the same mentality.  They still have that stupid little dog, but my word, has he changed their lives.  I don't know if you have pets, but I know it helped my mom just to have someone who needed her and was excited when she came home.Congratulations on the successful daughters!
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    trueloveatlasttrueloveatlast member
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    edited December 2011
    gots lots of hugsHa!  Took me three days to catch that mistake!
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    jedberg59jedberg59 member
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    edited December 2011
    I know exactly how you're feeling. My son, who is 26, has always been more independent and needed me less than my 24 year old daughter. He's pretty much been "gone" since he left for college years ago. But for the longest time, it was just me and my daughter and we got very close. She left two years ago to get her Masters, but it wasn't SO bad because she was only 5 hours away. Now she's getting ready to leave for St. Louis to begin working on her PhD. That's nine hours away - and after I move to N. Carolina next month to live with my fiance, it will be even farther. I'm going through major emplty nest feelings. I guess all we can do it be happy for them and proud of them, knowing that this is a normal progression of their lives, cry our tears and put one foot in front of the other! Hang in there! Just keep yourself busy and don't allow yourself to sit and dwell on it.
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    jlk67jlk67 member
    First Comment First Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    Jedberg, you are definitely in a similar situation.  Good luck on your move.  I moved to live with DH, but not to a different state.  That would make it even worse.  I'm settling in and trying to get a routine.  I know it's for the best and I'm so proud of her for being independent enough to do all the things she has done.  Yesterday I bought a plane ticket to go visit her for her birthday at the end of the month.  I figure it is the first of many plane tickets that will be purchased.Good luck to you!
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