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A to know how this work but I don't know if I want to do it or not

TakenByHinTakenByHin member
First Comment
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
Ok ladies I heard the newest this asking for money gifts. So nobody buys you two of one item for a wedding gift or something you don't want. If I would go about doing this how do you ask without sounding crass? Do you put it in the invitations or what? I'm just a little lost with alot of the new wedding ideas.
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Re: A to know how this work but I don't know if I want to do it or not

  • brittany634brittany634 member
    500 Comments First Anniversary
    Please don't it's extremely rude to ask for cash gifts. If you want cash, make a smaller registry and people will get the hint, or buy you whatever they think is appropriate, but PLEASE do not ask for cash.
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  • thurmanpowellthurmanpowell
    500 Comments
    Don't register for anything and hope your guests get the hint (which at least some of them will).
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  • PeledreamsofrainPeledreamsofrain member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    Hitting people up for cash is against etiquette, and there's no polite way to do it.  Some people feel extremely uncomfortable with giving monetary gifts, and always give physical ones.

    Create a very small registry, people will get the hint.
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  • AdeleDazeemAdeleDazeem member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2012
    What?

    How do you think you kindly say "Uncle Pete, just drop me a check for $50!"


    Answer: YOU DON'T.  My freaking entitled God.

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  • StephJean83StephJean83 member
    500 Comments 100 Love Its Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    This makes me laugh because I know a guy who said that when he gets married in 10 yrs, he is only registering for cash, which you can bring with you or he will accept your credit card at the door. He will have 5 Asian Elvis' acting as security and will not allow anyone in who doesn't give him money. I know the guy is saying this in jest but if someone didn't know him, they probably would think what he was saying was perfectly ok.

    Never ever ask for gifts, whether it is cash or physical gift. If you have everything you could possible need or you want to save up for a house or whatever, have a small registry or no registry. People who WANT to give you a gift will either ask what you need, this is when you can say, "FI and I have everything really need but we are saving for X[insert whatever you are saving for]", they will get the hint you'd rather get cash OR they will go the store, find something they think you'd love and buy it.
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  • s-aries8990s-aries8990 member
    Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 1000 Comments Name Dropper
    Create a small registry (if any) and tell family and friends that ask that you are saving for a (insert goal here, house, honeymoon, rennovations, etc). Enlist parents and WP members to use this answer when they're asked.
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  • AddieCakeAddieCake member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    As everyone has said, you can't ask for any gifts. If you create a small registry, you might be more likely to get cash, but that's not 100% certain. We had a small registry, and we got some stuff off that, some cash, a few things not even on the registry as well as several gift cards to restaurants (which are like cash, I realize, but good only at that restaurant). 
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  • PeledreamsofrainPeledreamsofrain member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_a-to-know-how-this-work-but-i-dont-know-if-i-want-to-do-it-or-not?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:3f0f276a-626e-4eed-be0a-a9b62c0f548dPost:73464e04-da3a-491b-9798-e0def77c57a8">Re: A to know how this work but I don't know if I want to do it or not</a>:
    [QUOTE]This makes me laugh because I know a guy who said that when he gets married in 10 yrs, he is only registering for cash, which you can bring with you or he will accept your credit card at the door. He will have 5 Asian Elvis' acting as security and will not allow anyone in who doesn't give him money. I know the guy is saying this in jest but if someone didn't know him, they probably would think what he was saying was perfectly ok. Never ever ask for gifts, whether it is cash or physical gift. If you have everything you could possible need or you want to save up for a house or whatever, have a small registry or no registry. People who WANT to give you a gift will either ask what you need, this is when you can say, "FI and I have everything really need but we are saving for X[insert whatever you are saving for]", they will get the hint you'd rather get cash OR they will go the store, find something they think you'd love and buy it.
    Posted by StephJean83[/QUOTE]

    Good advice, but I have to slightly disagree with just leaving out registries altogether.

    As I mentioned, some people WILL get physical gifts, because they aren't comfortable with cash gifts.  If you don't have at least a couple of items on your registry, then they are left to either ask, or more likely, think creatively.  This is  a good way to end up with wacky stuff you don't need, or 5 toasters.
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  • Cortney1982Cortney1982 member
    1000 Comments 5 Love Its
    Why don't you make a small registry of items you want?  You never ask for cash. 
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  • TurtlesAllTheWayDownTurtlesAllTheWayDown member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    The way to avoid getting duplicate items is to create a gift registry.
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  • LoopysevenLoopyseven member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 5 Love Its
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_a-to-know-how-this-work-but-i-dont-know-if-i-want-to-do-it-or-not?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:3f0f276a-626e-4eed-be0a-a9b62c0f548dPost:5b6f139a-d356-4195-8714-d9844137a0ad">Re: A to know how this work but I don't know if I want to do it or not</a>:
    [QUOTE]I agree with all of the above - create a small registry for people to get the hint that you would like cash.  There also are websites out there to register for your honeymoon.  It's basically a paypal account for cash, but people feel like they are contributing to specific honeymoon-related events (ie spa treatment).  Note of warning that many people have mixed feelings about this and some may find it offensive.  YOU NEVER ASK FOR GIFTS!
    Posted by Jager1219[/QUOTE]

    <div>
    </div><div>Honeymoon registries are essentially the same as asking for cash.  And some people don't realize that there are fees involved so the couple doesn't even get the whole amount of the gift.  Don't ask for cash, in any way/shape or form.</div>
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  • TakenByHinTakenByHin member
    First Comment
    Thank all you ladies for your help. I just didn't understand these new ideas that are being put out there. If I get more than one toaster then I guess when one breaks down I will have one to replace it. You ladies are great and thanks again!!
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