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counseling?

wifey2be2010wifey2be2010
First Comment
in Christian Weddings
Hey ladies, me and FI are wanting to do a pre-marital counseling but we don't attend church. I went to church as a child but havent been in years. FI went to church and his family shoved it down his thoat so he is damaged and wont go at all. Is there a place that we can go that we don't need to be part of the church? I just think this would be a great asset to our marriage
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Re: counseling?

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    DanielleB80DanielleB80 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011

    I agree and believe pre-marital counseling would be a great asset. We haven't attended any courses yet, but we definitely will! (I teased my FH and told him I wanted pre-engagement counseling.)

    You can do pre-marital counseling that's not specifically held in a church. The person who I want to be our wedding planner/coordinator said she and her husband had pre-marital counseling through a marriage counselor who was a Christian.

    Like my FH and I, they wanted someone who hadn't known them for a while (all of his/her life) and wouldn't be biased. I would suggest taking classes or courses where you and your FI will feel comfortable.

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    kkidd28kkidd28 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    We are going for  a session tomorrow! I love them and actually look forward to it!  Talk to the officiant doing your ceremony to see if they do them or they can recommend someone!  Ours are being done by the pastor marrying us!  I really appreciate this because it gives him a chance to get to know us and vice versa so it will be more personal when he marries us!
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    Jeffie86Jeffie86
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    edited December 2011

    Your officiant might do the counseling--I know my pastor does counseling for all couples he marries--whether they are members or not.

    I also know that sometimes there are community programs for engaged or newlywed couples.  I don't know exactly how to go about finding them--we ran into a neat program done by the state at a bridal fair. 

    The marriage/relationship counselor is a good idea, too.

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    iamjoesgurliamjoesgurl member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    We found our marriage mentors through this site because they are certified to administer the Prepare/Enrich inventories.  I would highly recommend starting out with this inventory because it can help the counselor to see where you and FI agree and where they should focus the sessions.  Also, anyone who is certified to administer this is probably otherwise qualified to do marriage counseling.

    http://tinyurl.com/24n8qy8
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    tvermeertvermeer
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_christian-weddings_counsling?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:464687ae-7bc1-4360-9aea-999e11f1e1adDiscussion:8905cc7e-a3c9-4186-a12f-2f84a7dc554ePost:a80bf2e8-beac-466d-a8a4-73ed8662a1d5">Re: counseling?</a>:
    [QUOTE]We found our marriage mentors through this site because they are certified to administer the Prepare/Enrich inventories.  I would highly recommend starting out with this inventory because it can help the counselor to see where you and FI agree and where they should focus the sessions.  Also, anyone who is certified to administer this is probably otherwise qualified to do marriage counseling. <a href="http://tinyurl.com/24n8qy8" rel="nofollow">http://tinyurl.com/24n8qy8</a>
    Posted by iamjoesgurl[/QUOTE]

    I LOVED the Prepare/Enrich program. my pastor centered around that workbook and it worked so well for us. We were both 100% honest when we took our individual surveys and the results really surprised us. we learned so much about each other and how to deal with a lot of stuff because of that program.
     I too would highly recommend it!
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    allysontrejoallysontrejo member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I looked through the stuff on their site and it looked great but there were absolutely no mentors any where near me... :( FI and I live in San Diego, but we would be willing to travel as far as LA because we believe this kind of counseling really helps to build a strong foundation for a lasting marriage.
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    Rhoyal_1Rhoyal_1
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    FI and I started counseling as pre-engagement with a therapist at a Christian Counseling Center.  We continue to meet with our therapist monthly and attend premarital counseling with our Pastor.  (Our Pastor and therapist are aware of each other and teh teachings..they coincide).  Anywho, you could do a search on the web for a Christian Counseling Center in your area...that's how we found our therapist as we did not have a home church at the time.
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